A Tale of Two Loves Pt. 02

I asked, "You doing okay?"

She turned her upper body towards me and nodded. In a soft voice she remarked, "You saved our lives, didn't you. They would have killed us, wouldn't they?"

"I was afraid that was a strong possibility. That's why I took the chance that I did. Why would they leave witnesses..."

She nodded.

"You get your shower. I'm going to make us something to eat."

"No, stay. Shower with me."

I was covered in dust, grime, and flop sweat. "Okay, I could use a shower," I answered and began undressing.

When I joined her, Trish was shampooing her hair and I began helping. She turned and wrapped me up, hugging her nude, wet body to me. I continued to work my hands through her hair. Then I took a handheld wand and rinsed it. She stayed glued to me, so I did conditioner too. After I rinsed it out, she tipped her head up, looking me in the eyes. We kissed, slowly and gently at first then with more passion, more intensity. After ending the kiss, Trish began soaping my body.

"You're so strong, so powerful. I love your body."

"Likewise...I love your strong, powerful body, too," I joked.

She smiled, the first time since the incident, then laughed, "I know what you like - my big tits, my big butt and my magic pussy!"

Her ribald remarks surprised me, and I answered, "I can't argue with that assessment, none of it." She did have a pretty amazing pussy, and her 'big butt' and 'big tits' were spectacular, too.

After we toweled dry, Trish asked in a timid, halting voice, "Can we make love? I feel...I just need to be with you..."

"Of course, I understand."

I really didn't like it, but I did understand. So much for ending things.

Of course, after sex, I could break it to her, "That was great, baby. It was nice fucking you, but I can't see you anymore."

As we made our way to my bed, I couldn't help but feel guilty as hell bedding Trish where I had recently been with Angie. I seemed to be inexorably tangled up in this web, one that I couldn't escape, and that was going to be my undoing.

Trish pulled me onto the bed and we fell together in a tangle of arms and legs. She was suddenly all over me, passionate, hungry, devouring me. There was nothing gentle about our coupling. She explained later that she was intensely aware of how close we came to death and that it had affected her; made her want to urgently experience being alive, being with me. She came twice during our first coupling. When I recovered, she demanded sex from behind.

We had taken a break, sitting naked at the kitchen table, drinking iced tea, snacking on bread, deli meats and cheeses, sharing a silent interlude.

"Come on, baby, I want you to fuck me doggy-style. I want you to pound me, overpower me," she explained as she dragged me back to the bedroom.

I couldn't say no to that. As soon as we were on the bed, she got on her hands and knees and pointed her big, firm ass at me. I didn't hesitate, lining up my already hardening erection at her sopping wet vagina. I pushed the head into her hot tunnel, grabbed her big hips and shoved, slamming into her cervix. She grunted and shoved back. I immediately started pounding her.

Within a couple minutes, Trish ramped up to another orgasm screaming, cursing, and slamming back into me, meeting my thrusts with equal gusto. I was smacking into her big ass so hard, her cheeks were red, and I could feel the skin on my stomach stinging. Where I was gripping her hips, I was probably bruising the flesh, I was gripping so tightly.

As I approached my own climax, I growled out, "Gonna fuckin' cum..."

"Ungh-ungh-fi-ill-my-fu-u-uck-ing-cunt!" Trish growled back as I pounded her.

"FU-U-UCK-NOW-OW-OW!" she screamed and I unloaded what I had left, my groin spasming so hard, it hurt.

We collapsed on the bed, huffing, gasping for air.

V. ANGIE - GUILT WINS OUT

After the interrupted camping trip and my night with Trish, I became depressed. I rarely get depressed, can't even remember the last time I was; but I was now, after that debacle - after once again failing to end things. How could I continue with this, this farcical, impossible situation. How could I continue to face each of them?

But I did; I continued to see both of them, growing fonder of each as time went on. I guess if I was a different sort, I would have been able to kick back and enjoy the ride - pardon the pun; but I couldn't, and in the end, the guilt overwhelmed me. With each passing day, I was more tangled up with and more emotionally involved with Trish, and more inexorably committed to and in love with Angie.

One evening, after spending a quiet day together, Angie and I ended up at my house, where we planned to grill some steaks. While we were preparing everything, I guess I was a little too quiet, preoccupied, and Angie noticed.

"Everything okay, honey? You've been a little quiet, today, and out of sorts, lately."

"Yeah, sorry, just something I've been trying to deal with, unsuccessfully."

"Can I help?" she asked, coming up and laying a hand on my shoulder and rubbing it.

"No, sorry. It's something I have to handle myself."

She let it go, and I grilled the steaks while she got the rest of the meal on the table. After the steaks were done, we sat down to an enjoyable meal, but I couldn't shake my mood.

Angie patiently waited, but by the time we had adjourned to the patio for an after-dinner beer, she brought it up again.

"Honey, we have to talk. I know something's wrong, and I know it has something to do with me, somehow. Call it woman's intuition or whatever, but I can tell, and it has me worried."

It had been over three months since I started seeing both women, and I was at my wit's end. I was eaten up with guilt, frustrated with my inability to do what needed to be done, and sick of the situation. In response to Angie's last statement, I weakly nodded.

"Talk to me, Matthew. I can't take this anymore. I've noticed for the last few weeks that you've been acting less like you, less upbeat, less Matt-like, and it's really starting to concern me."

I decided, for better or for worse, I had to deal with this. At the risk of losing Angie, I had to confess to her. I couldn't go on deceiving her; it was just so completely wrong.

I took a long pull on my beer, "Angie, honey, I have to share something with you that I've been dreading, about something I have failed to deal with, something that is out of control."

I hesitated, and she covered my hand, but said nothing and patiently waited on me. I took another long swallow of my beer.

"When we met, when we first dated, I had met another woman, about the same time as you."

I saw a slight change in her passive expression - an alertness. She was anticipating what I was going to say, and perceptively, she knew it wasn't going to be good.

"In fact, when we had our first date, I had already had a date with her."

I explained how I met Trish, and how we had our dates back-to-back, and the immediate dilemma it presented. She nodded, and silently listened. I continued, filling her in on how, after sleeping with her, Angie, that I made a second date with Trish to break things off, and how it went terribly wrong. I saw her expression change again, but still she said nothing.

I explained, "Before I knew it, I was in deep. I was trapped. I wanted desperately to break things off with Trish, before they got any more out of hand, before they intruded any more into my relationship with you. But, Angie, I'm sorry, I was too weak, and the only thing I can say in my defense is I really didn't want to hurt Trish. After a twenty-year marriage, she was divorcing from a husband who cheated on her with a much younger woman. She was devastated, vulnerable, filled with doubt. I, I was a lifeline for her. I felt for her, and yes, I had feelings for her. I have feelings for her. She is a lovely woman. I knew I couldn't continue to see her, but every time I worked up the nerve to break things off, something would happen to derail it."

I told her about the camping trip. After I finished that story, she spoke for the first time.

Quietly, she said, "They could have killed you."

I nodded, then sat there. I didn't know what else to say.

We sat in silence for several minutes, drinking our beers.

Then Angie quietly got up and went in the house. My heart sank into my stomach. The blood drained from me. I felt hollow. The thing I dreaded most - losing Angie, was now all too real.

After a few moments, she came out with two fresh bottles of beer, handed me one and sat down. I was at a loss, surprised by her actions.

After taking a sip, she set her bottle down, and looked directly into my eyes.

"Matt, you should have told me about Trish in the very beginning. But you didn't...Okay, now you have. Thank you for that," she said neutrally.

"I'm sorry..."

"Shhh. I'm thinking," she responded.

After a very long pause, she continued, "I know what you're thinking, that I'm upset, hurt, angry." I nodded. "Matt, I'm all of those. But here's the thing - In the end, or even in the beginning, you chose me. And that means something to me. That means a lot to me. And what it means is that once again, I have a man in my life who loves me, one that I love in return...and all other things aside, I don't want to lose another man that I love, so...I will do, you will do...we will do whatever we have to, in order to fix this, to get past it."

"Angie..."

"No, Matt. Just listen. I hate it that you slept with this woman. I understand how it happened, but I hate it...But I know you love me and that you love me very much - completely, according to you. But obviously, you love her, too. That I don't understand. I don't understand how that works. But I realize I've never been in a similar situation.

Matt, I am deeply in love with you, and I cannot bear the thought of losing you, throwing that away. I believe we are meant to be together..."

She sat there, sipping her beer, looking sternly at me, with what I knew was disappointment. But she said what I hadn't expected, that she still loved me. I choked up and started tearing up. It was the last thing I had expected to hear. I had expected the worst. Angie was an amazing woman; so much stronger than I had thought; and stronger than me, I admitted to myself, not without some chagrin.

"Thank you, Angie, my Angeline. Thank you for not giving up on me, for not rejecting me. I could not have dealt with that. I think it would have destroyed me - in a way I don't think I could have ever recovered from."

She rose from her chair and crawled in my lap, wrapping me up. In silence, we held each other for the longest time.

Finally, she spoke up, "I love you, honey. I'll fight for that, but you have to, also. And now, right now, you have to call her."

She got up, and I got my phone. As I dialed, I said, "I'll have to meet with her. I can't do this over the phone."

"Of course. That is the only right way."

I nodded. The phone rang.

"Hi, Matt, good to hear from you."

"Hi Trish. I need to see you this week, Friday, if that's best for you."

"Sure, babe...Is something wrong?"

"No...yes, kind of, but I'll explain when I see you. Um, if it's okay, can we meet at your place?"

"Of course. I'll whip something up; we'll eat in," she replied, concern in her voice.

After goodbyes, we hung up. I simultaneously felt a combination of dread and relief.

Angie hugged me, then took me to bed. We didn't make love, we just cuddled and slept, fitfully for me. I had hurt the beautiful woman lying next to me...I was about to do much worse to another beautiful woman; one who didn't deserve it, either.

VI. TRISH - THE LONG HARD GOODBYE

To my knowledge, as far as I can remember, I've never had a panic attack - even when I had my first big investment loss of several hundred grand, I didn't overreact; but today, as I prepared to go to Trish's, I was feeling sick, nauseous, overwhelmed. I would have rather done anything else, but I was responsible for everything that led up to this. Now I had to face the music.

After arriving and getting out of my car, I slowly walked up to Trish's door, wondering if this is how someone feels walking those final steps to the gallows - yeah I know, not quite the same thing, and I'm being melodramatic, but it's how I was feeling.

Trish answered and I put on a brave smile, "Hi Trish, how..."

She instantly wrapped me up in a bear hug, crushing her lips to mine.

When we separated, she said, "Come in, dinner's ready. I hope pork chops are okay."

"Yeah, sounds great. Smells great, thanks."

As we went in and got dinner on the table, there was an awkward silence. As we began eating, Trish was giving me furtive looks and I tried not to show my emotions, but I was struggling. Trish was obviously aware that something was wrong. Even if I hadn't intimated that over the phone, there was no hiding my mood.

The meal was excellent as always. This woman deserved better. And I only hoped she would find someone worthy of her. We did chat, and Trish told me about her new job. It had taken a while, but now she was no longer having to work in the same office as her ex-husband. And she revealed that her divorce was final - she was a free woman.

After dinner, we retired to the patio with iced teas. I had declined alcohol, though I was tempted. I knew this would probably be easier for both of us if we were half-lit, but I'd been enough of a chicken-shit coward. I was determined to meet this head on.

"So, honey, what's wrong?" Trish asked.

"Trish, I...I have to tell you something, something I've tried to tell you several times since we met, but for reasons that lie squarely with me, I didn't."

She just listened, chewing her lip and looking intently at me.

"Trish, before I met you, I met another woman; and when we had our first date, I already had a date scheduled with her, but...well, I liked you and wanted to see you, so when you called that week, I went ahead and saw you when I probably shouldn't have..." I paused, gathering my thoughts.

"Okay..." she prompted after a bit.

"Then I slept with you...and...I had slept with her...my mistake, which I deeply regret, though I don't regret one bit how I felt about you or her, or sleeping with either of you...just that I did so with both of you."

"Okay..."

"Trish, I care for you deeply. I love you. You are a wonderful woman..."

"But..."

"But, I'm not 'in love' with you..."

A tear trickled down her cheek; she wiped at it, "But you are...in love with her..."

I broke eye contact, dropping my gaze, "Yes, very much so. I have been, almost since the beginning. Our second date, when you had me over, I came to tell you then...but then you took your clothes off; we made love...I was overwhelmed by you...and I was weak."

Tears were now streaming down her face. I continued to explain, as best I could, talking about the camping trip, about my problems with my feelings for her, not wanting to hurt her.

"I felt something was wrong the last couple of weeks. You didn't seem yourself...but I had no idea...I never..." she faltered.

"I'm sorry, Trish, so sorry. I never, never wanted to hurt you. I can't tell you how bad...I know how much I have failed you. I only hope you don't let this keep you from...from moving forward. You so much deserve better, to find someone..."

"I thought I had," she said, almost inaudibly.

"I know...And if I hadn't already met Angie. If I'd never met Angie..." I stopped. I didn't know what else to say.

"So...I guess this is it for us," she interjected, "for you and me?" She wiped at her tears with the back of her hand.

I went to reach for her and caught myself. I wanted to crush her to me, hold her, make her feel better. But I couldn't. I knew I couldn't trust myself to do that. I felt too much for her, cared too much for her.

After a bit, she regained some of her composure.

"I guess I should thank you," she said, "You made me feel very special, restored my confidence after Don..." she faltered.

"You 'are' very special; and Don is an absolute fucking idiot. And Trish, please make no mistake, I think you are wonderful, and you deserve the absolute best; and I feel like the lowest life form for having hurt you, for not being strong enough to...to resist you, for creating this situation. But at the same time, I count myself very fortunate for having met you, for knowing you...for what we shared..."

"So is she beautiful...prettier than me?"

"No, Trish, she is not prettier...different. Yes, she's beautiful, but that..."

"Is she a better lover?"

"Trish, I've never been with a better lover than you...ever," I replied, sincerely, truthfully.

"But that isn't what this is about," I continued, "I fell in love. I can't explain why I fell in love with Angie, and not you. Why does anyone fall in love with anyone else. If someone can ever figure out the answer to that, they can make millions...That is just how it happened."

She nodded, wiped at her eyes, took a sip of her tea, then looked up at me, "You know, Matt...I am in love with you. I did fall in love with you."

I was slain. My heart fell into my stomach, "No...I didn't know that," I barely managed to get out.

"Mm hmm. I never said anything, because, well, you never said anything, and I suspected you didn't feel the same...Now I know why...No, it's okay. I...I'll get past it, I guess. Somehow, I'll get over you. Right now," she started choking up and crying, "I don't know how..."

I got up and pulled her into my arms. I had to. She wrapped hers around me, buried her face in my chest and cried. I held her as her body shook, wracked by sobs. When she finally stopped sobbing, I released her and retrieved a box of tissues. We sat and I waited for her to calm down.

After she had regained her composure, we talked some more, then gradually moved towards me leaving. When we got to the front door, I turned to say goodbye. Trish grabbed me and pulled me into a lip-crushing kiss, then released me.

"Goodbye, my love...Now, go," she finished, and opened the door.

I stepped out and before I could turn around, I heard the door close.

~~~~~~

When I arrived home, Angie was waiting. When I came through the door, she had a cold beer in each hand.

"Hey, honey, look like you could use this," she greeted me at the door.

"Hi, honey. Yeah, I could use a cold one, and then some."

She guided me to the patio, and we sat at the table.

"So..."

"It was worse than I feared it would be. I wasn't ready for her telling me that she was in love with me. That caught me by surprise."

"I'm sorry, honey, but it's over. It is over, isn't it?" Angie asked.

"Yes. It's over. What about us? Where do we go from here?"

She laid her slender hand on mine, "We go forward. We take it one day at a time, but make no mistake, Matt; I'm not going anywhere. I understand what happened, and I had a lot of time to think while you were gone. We belong together, and I'm committed to that. What about you?"

"Heart and soul, baby, heart and soul," I replied, choking up.

VII. TRISH - DAMSEL IN DISTRESS

Two months after breaking things off with Trish, I was surprised by a phone call from her.

"Hi Trish, how are you?"

"I'm okay. I hope I'm not bothering you," she answered in a tremulous voice.

"No, of course not. Um, you don't sound okay. What's up, Trish?"

"No, I'm not, Matt. And I'm really sorry to call you, but I have a problem, and I don't know who else to call. I don't want to call the police..."

"Trish, what's going on?"

"I met a man, Ken. We were dating, but things have gotten out of hand. I've tried to break things off with him, but he won't leave me alone..."

"Has it gotten physical?"

"Almost...yes, actually, he hurt my wrist..."