A Touch Of Mink

Oh, God, did I ever give it up! In the initial shock of discovery the previous morning, I had overlooked the cause of the intense feelings of pleasure as I examined my newly-constructed female genitalia. Sable had gifted me withother 'forget-me-nots'. I had the same pierced nipples, navel, clitoris, and 'triangle' as she. How had she managed thatin a hospital? I guess it's true; if you have enough money, you can do anything. I knew the piercings helped drive my wife wild during sex, but I didn't truly comprehendhow wild until Howie drove his bulging bone deep into my sopping-wet pussy while playing with my nipple rings. Howie,wowie! If he hadn't smothered my screams with his mouth, they would have heard me in the next ZIP code.

Howie, the consummate gentleman, walked me back to my car. I clung to his arm, hugging my body tightly against his. If Howie held any lingering embarrassment about being seen with aho', he didn't show it. Perhaps that would change later, once he had returned to the safe, secure embrace of his privileged world. In the meantime, I was groovin' on the afterglow of areally good fuck.

I had a lot to think about on the way home. At the top of the list were the words I had spoken to Howie before we sneaked off to the Little Boy's Room.I don't have to. I choose to. This is me now, for better or worse. We do have to live with the consequences of our choices, don't we? It would be easy to blame Sable for everything. She stripped me of every trace of masculinity, turning me into…this. But she wasn't here now. She didn't make me go to the salon, to be transformed once again into… well, the way I looked now. She didn't make me fuck my own lawyer, my oldest and dearest friend. She didn't hold a gun to my head and tell me I had to enjoy it, and scream my head off in ecstasy. That was all me – perhaps more the real 'me' than I had ever been before.

I thought about the scorched-earth campaign Howie and I had lain out during the business portion of our lunch. Sable, Darien, and all their co-conspirators would be toast. All I had to do wassay the word…. I couldn't do it. What she had done had come as a tremendous shock – more than any person should have to endure. But there had been good times too, a lot of them; the best of my life. I couldn't forget that, couldn't dismiss it as inconsequential.

Dammit, after all was said and done, I still loved her, more than Life itself. But for her, I would never have experienced the magic of this day and the feelings of fulfillment I had never felt before. My lifehad changed, but this was not the 'trauma' I had first expected when I awoke in the hospital the day before. If anything, my future looked… brighter. Had I really just thought that? I called Howie on his cell and gave him new instructions. When he told me he thought I had lost my mind, I suggested, if he was a good boy and did what I told him to do, I could think of a dozen ways to make himlose his. He was like putty in my hands – and I was loving every minute of it. When I returned home, I sent the bodyguards away with my thanks.

***

Two days later, Sable was waiting for me, alone, outside the gate when I returned home. She accepted my offer of a ride up to the door, then to come in. Neither of us spoke another word until we were inside, not wanting to destroy our shaky truce.

"Thank you for the settlement," she intoned sincerely. "It was more than generous; certainly more than I expected."

"No more than you deserved," I replied. "Probably less."

"I won't make trouble for you," she avowed. "Well, at least, nomore trouble."

"Thank you," I responded. "I didn't expect you would."

"Yeah, you did," my wife contended. "This place was an armed camp a couple of days ago. I was expecting crocodiles in the moat."

"You saw?"

She nodded.

"When I tried to come home. You made your intentions clear enough."

There was an embarrassed silence as we both desired to abandon that line of inquiry.

"You look…good," she continued at last. "Are you feeling OK? We were worried…."

"I'm fine," I interjected, a bit too abruptly.

I told her about my trip to the salon Tuesday. She complimented me on my 'look', avowing it was the one she liked most on me. For no good reason, I told her about Howard and me at the restaurant - and the bathroom stall later. She laughed at that.

"You aresuch a slut," she declared. Then, quickly: "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. So, you and he are going to…?"

I shook my head.

"It's about like you and your men for now. Well, maybe a little more. I've known him all my life."

"I wouldn't blame you if you did," she offered. "He's quite a catch; not like the dead-end boy toys I play with."

I had to ask.

"How is your…head?"

She smiled wanly.

"It took about a day for the bells to stop ringing, but I'm OK now."

The woman who had meant everything to me glanced around the foyer, resurrecting memories of what had been.

"It was good, wasn't it?" She asked. "I mean us, you and me…."

"We werethe best," I agreed. "I have never been happier in my life. I don't think I ever will be again."

That opened the floodgates.

"Why?" Sable pleaded. "If it was so good, why did you do it? I just don'tunderstand!"

I stared at her as though she were from another planet.

"Me? I have spent the last four days in a state of utter disbelief, that you would do what you did to me. I hated you with a passion for what you did – and loved you with every fiber of my being. I never wanted to see you again – and couldn't stand the thought of losing you. More than anything, I couldn't bear to watch you leave me."

"Leave you?" she asked incredulously. "Leave you? What on Earth possessed you to think I would leave you?"

"Everything!" I wailed. "I couldn't give you what your studs do; you made that clear enough. All I was good for was money, and you knew you could take that away from me anytime you pleased. You finally got bored with me, so you feminized me, took me to the salon, turned me on to drugs, then sucking and fucking men. You made certain I could never assert myself as a man, asyour husband, again. You turned me into a slut like you. You even hooked me up with a 'husband' of my own. When you were satisfied evenI perceived myself to be a slut, you drugged me, took me to Darien Morrissey and got me huge new breasts and tush. You had them cut off my, my… God, mygenitals. Once you were certain no one would ever believe I had ever been the man I used to be, you were going to dump me on the streets and play house with Jamal, or whoever had caught your fancy this week."

She held her head in one hand. Tears filled her eyes.

"No," she cried. "No, no, no, no, NO! You told meyou knew."

"Idid know!" I asserted forcefully. "I just told you. It didn't take a rocket scientist to see through your plan."

Sable shook her head sadly.

"You knewnothing," she quietly sobbed.

The woman I had loved above all others took my hands in hers and sat me down.

"Baby, you hadtesticular cancer, just like your daddy. The indicators showed up in your physical. That's why Darien called you in for a follow-up test; abiopsy. That confirmed it – and that it was malignant. Both testicles were totally involved, and there were other indicators the malignancy was spreading. It waskilling you.

"We weren't certain before the biopsy, so we decided not to tell you until we got the results. We –I – didn't want to worry you unnecessarily. Even so, Darien was pretty sure when she took the specimen – and was ready. Remember how she encouraged you to take the general anesthesia? While you were still unconscious, she inserted high-dosage time-release female hormone and anti-androgen implants. That was to attack and shrink the suspected cancer as much as possible, preparing you for surgery.

"If the results of the biopsy were negative, no harm, no foul; it would only cost you some passing embarrassment over your temporarily limp dick and some secondary sexual development – all reversible. When the results came back positive and we were sure, I started to tell you, but you told me you already knew. I just assumed…. I had no idea you meant…."

Tears were now streaming down her cheeks. She pulled my hands to her lips and kissed them.

"Baby Girl, I was faced with a choice; lose your balls or lose you. I couldn't face the prospect of losingyou, no matter what. I told you; I fuck men for the sex. That'sall. Does belittling me, trivializing my feelings for you, make you feel better? Fine; I'll make it easy for you. I married you for your money. What girl wouldn't? Isthat what you wanted to hear? I expected you to be a spoiled, arrogant, selfish brat like all the other Silver-Spooners I had ever dated. I gave it six months, maybe a year. Then, I was going to find a good divorce attorney, split, and take half of everything.

"Baby, I waswrong about you. Istayed because you are the kindest, sweetest, gentlest, most considerate, selfless, sharing, caring, loving person I have ever met - of either gender. It didn't hurt that you have the most talented tongue I have ever experienced, which gives me the most mind-blowing orgasms I have ever had. You give without limits and expect nothing in return. Even a ho' like me knows how precious that is. I couldnever love another as much as I love you and I would never,ever leave you!"

"But you had Derek rape me!" I protested. "You began my transformation the next day. You took personal pleasure in breaking me, the way you did those wimp submissives you used to date. Did it feel good,Mistress Diabolique? Had you missed the thrill of grinding a sincere, adoring soul beneath your booted foot? Did you feel that old rush from knowing you could do whatever you wanted with me? Wasthat out of love?"

"You're damn right it was," she screamed. "You have no idea how hard that was for me to do; all of it. You were going to lose the 'family jewels', OK? There was no way around that. That left us – me – with another choice. I could accept you as an already-insecure man who would now feel evenmore insecure because he had a permanently limp, useless dick and no balls – in other words, a broken-spirited eunuch. It would have killed me to watch you wither away emotionally, even more than watching the cancer eat you alive.

"The alternative was to take you to the other extreme; transform you into a young, beautiful woman with a killer body, healthy sexual appetite, real social skills and a genuine love of life – at least, the way I perceive it. I'm sorry; I'm not smart like you. I'm not educated like you. I didn't know how to turn you into one of those elegant, chic, understated Beverly Hills bimbos. I come from the streets;that's what I know. I sincerely believed I could make you a reasonably well-adjusted, functioning member of Society –my Society. With a little luck, you might even be better than you had been as a man. That was a slam-dunk, Sugar. I chose 'Door Number Two' in a heartbeat.

"Actually,you gave me that idea in the first place. I marveled at that fantastic, talented pierced tongue of yours. You were showing me all the signs, all the attitude of becoming a slut like me. It just seemed the right thing to do. Wouldn't that be better than losing you altogether, or watching you waste away emotionally as the hollow shell of a man?

"For something this big, I knew I would need professional help. It wasn't easy getting Darien on board with that extreme a solution. Sure, she wanted to take your balls out as soon as possible – and your prostate, penile tissue, and maybe some surrounding tissue as well. She wasn't worried about your fragile self-image as a man. She believed her miracle-worker psychotherapist friend would get you to accept your new, mutilated self - eventually. Yeah, right; if you didn't put a bullet in your head first! Baby, men are notoriously sensitive when it comes to their Manhood. No one knows that better than a slut like me. I firmly believed the only way to save you fromyourself after your surgery was to make you think of yourself in an entirely different way – as a woman.

"Darien admitted you were certainly attractive enough, and had the right physical proportions to pull off the transition believably. She told me there was absolutely no precedent for this in the medical literature. She was also convinced you would never willingly go along with it. At the very least, we would be flouting Title Five of the Benjamin Protocol; making you live a full year as a woman before your surgery. I pointed out, none too subtly, we didn'thave a year; you might be dead insix weeks. She was reasonably certain the hormones would keep your cancer in check for one month. I made her promise to give me that month. If I could prove to her you would make a convincing woman andwould do so willingly within that amount of time, she would do everything necessary to fast-track your full transition along with your cancer surgery. If I couldn't, we would do it her way – and hope for the best.

"Easier said than done. I had no idea how to approach you on the subject of the orchiectomy, much less get you to accept yourself in the role of a woman. I was grasping at straws, trying to make each sexual experience memorable – in case it was our last. The thing with Derek wasn't planned. It happened on a lark; a spur-of-the-moment decision, part of our sexual role play. Make no mistake; I enjoyed every moment of it while it was happening.

Then, guess what? After making you suck Derek's cock, I had him ram that monster tool up your love nest - and you came,without even touching your limp little dick. I couldn't believe my own eyes. When you did it again the next morning for me,and cleaned up your cum on command, I thanked my lucky stars. You were already functioning, responding sexually as a slutwithout my having to do a thing. Suddenly, the whole damn thing seemed possible.

"You think Ienjoyed breaking your spirit like that? Baby, I was under the gun. In order to secure Darien's full cooperation, I had to produce a very feminine you for her to see and appreciate –and, I had to do it quickly, before the cancer spread beyond our ability to stop it.

"Even with your cooperation –which I thought I had – I believed you would resist me, at least subconsciously. God forgive me, I fell back on what I knew. I couldn't really get my head into it at first; not like before. I didn't know how I would ever find the strength to do to you, the one I loved, what I had done before to those men. I used to be very into it. Ienjoyed reducing proud, arrogant men to spineless jellyfish. It was businessand pleasure.

"Do you want to know what changed that? Do you want to hear why Ireally got out of it, put everything away and didn't touch it until four months ago? It wasyou; that night I turned on you. I told you, it wasn't intentional. 'Diabolique' had already taken over and you violated my –her – personal space. After you left –ran away from me – I threw up. That whole next month, when you wouldn't even speak to me, was pure Hell. Sugar, you were the only man who ever really cared, who treated me like a human being. Idespised myself for what I had done. That's how much I cared about you even then.

"Thenyou called me 'Mistress', out of the blue and of your own free will. You opened the door and invited me in, just like that! That was all I needed to hear. 'Diabolique' came out - to isolate you emotionally, crush,destroy every trace of your masculine identity, then re-build you and make you accept the 'new you', thefeminine you, just as we had to destroy your balls to save your life.

"Ihated every minute of acting the heartless bitch to the one I loved, knowing you believed I was doing it out of pure spite. I kept weakening, dropping out of character, showing how much I truly cared about you. I'm surprised you didn't pick up on it. That is something 'Diabolique' wouldnever have done before.

"I was amazed at how quickly you adjusted, submitted to me. Usually, it takes weeks, months to break a man that thoroughly. It was as though there was some little spark within you thatwanted to be a slut, just as I had always teased you. I prayed to God that was the answer, that I was not destroying your soul even as I was trying to save your body.

"It was the same thing with the drugs. I know how evil they are. I have been trying to put them behind me for a long time. Honey, if not for the drugs I got you hooked on, you would have beenin agony those last few weeks. That is what cancer is all about in its later stages. As bad as the drugs were, the pain would have been much worse. I wanted to spare you that. As it was, I wasn't about to make you go throughthat Hell alone, so I did them with you. You may have noticed; we de-toxed you while you were in the hospital. You didn't feel a thing, didn't even know it. It wasn't that easy forme, but it was something I was willing to endure for you.

"Why did you have to make meBlack?" I wailed. "I didn't even know that was possible."

When I saw her visibly stiffen, I instantly knew she had taken it the wrong way.

"Dammit, don't even go there. Youknow I'm not a bigot," I avowed. "I just need to knowwhy."

"I told you your cancer was malignant, remember?" she intoned. "We knew it was spreading, had been for some time. Cancer is tricky. It can spread to other organs. It can spread to lymph nodes. It can spread through the blood, bone marrow, and even the brain. In your case, Darien spotted areas of incipient melanoma – skin cancer. She thinks the cancer cells originated there and traveled through your bloodstream to your genitals. Your damn testosterone stimulated their growth and reproduction, and… well, you know the rest. Don't worry; those 'hot spots' were removed with the rest of the cancerous tissue. There are no scars, no traces, no nuthin'. Still, there was always a chance they didn't get all the cancer.

"Darien learned of a radical new therapy to retard or even prevent the development of most skin cancers. It is actually an outgrowth of the chemical tanning craze. Researchers discovered a drug that stimulates the production of melanin in the skin. That's the natural pigment that causes tanning and prevents damage from ultra-violet radiation, like sunburn, cracking, peeling – and skin cancer. It explains why there is a much higher incidence of skin cancer in Whites – fair-skinned Blondes and Redheads, especially – than in Blacks. The drug is already approved by the FDA for low-dose topical application to promote tanning.

"The researchers also discovered when the drug is injected directly in a more concentrated dose, melanin production is accelerated exponentially throughout the whole body. Studies have shown the subsequent high concentrations of melanin have been very effective in preventing recurrence of skin cancer in previous cancer victims and all but eliminating development of new cancer in subjects who have never had it before.

"Of course, there is a very obvious side-effect to high concentrations of melanin in the dermal layer; dark skin. That is the reason research is progressing so cautiously. The FDA has not yet approved the drug for use in this manner and for this purpose. Darien showed me the medical literature was full of examples of drugs approved for one purpose, yet being prescribed for other, unapproved applications. She and I decided it was worth the side-effects to keep you cancer-free.