Accidental Womanizer

CHAPTER 1

Two and a bit years after graduating with a master's degree in environmental design and still without employment, Fletch (Fletcher) Halifax's life received a lift.

He went to church with his mom who introduced him to Mrs Thelma Cox.

Sylvie Halifax had nagged at him for years to take her to church without success until this Sunday. Fletch had awoken without his usual Sunday morning hangover and sense of abandonment. The previous night he'd scored with Polly Westhaven whose husband was away in Taipei for two months. Fortunately for Fletch that while females tend to stay clear of losers, Polly had been rather desperate, but not being pretty and possessing a flattish chest.

After almost throwing off the blankets to show his mom his morning erection with pride, perhaps but unlikely sporting an extra quarter of an inch after the previous night's long overdue workout, Fletch had guilty said yes he'd go to church.

"Are you ill?"

"Mom!" Fletch complained in that tone men use when thinking whatever they said to a woman, especially an older woman, would never be to her satisfaction.

"Oh my apologies," she whined, kissing him. "What is that smell? Perfume? Her face colored. She said "Oh God," and hurried from the room. Her son hurried to the shower.

Most of the congregation hadn't realized widowed Sylvie had a son until that surprise appearance of Fletch and his appearances would have set most regulars thinking another contributor to the collection plate. Sylvie had insisted Fletch wear one of his late father's suits so there was an air of affluence around Fletch that morning.

During coffee after the service, Thelma looked at the blond's muscular build and said whimsically, "Fletch looks just the type to help me get that overgrown section of my garden back into order."

"Fletch would be happy to assist you wouldn't you darling. Mrs Cox's husband is in hospital with two fractured femurs."

During the sermon Rev McDonald had worked in the bit about giving generously to the community, especially the church. Fletch had thought that ideal was appropriate insofar as supporting the community but financially supporting the church to build expensive meeting places that became ridiculously expensive to maintain over time was not his idea of pious economics. Therefore he put only a dollar into the collection plate, considering that a contribution towards renting his place on the pew and to demonstrate goodwill to the spiritual leader.

Although Mrs Cox was his mother's age she was still rather good on the eye and her mood seemed, er, whimsical. Perhaps she was also a better cook than his mom and food would be offered in return for a couple of hour's labor?

That had encourage Fletch to agree to help and was told to turn up at Mrs Cox's home around 9:00 next morning because today was "The Lord's Day." Fletch wondered what day wasn't the Lord's Day to the faithfully devout? Half of this lot appeared terrified of their pansy-faced minister.

Walking home Fletch's mom displayed unusual affection to her son, taking his arm and saying how proud she was of him doing his Christian duty. Fletch thought she meant going to church whereas he thought he'd performed his Christian duty on Polly the previous night.

"You'll find Thelma Cox is a very loveable woman. She's one of my best friends. Now darling don't get upset about this but if Thelma hints she'd like a bit of male company from you I'd like you to consider that request fairly."

Fairly? What the hell did that mean in that context?"

Fletch remembered how his dad used to handle his mom in situations where he appeared bereft of understanding. So he said, "All right dear."

His mom squeezed his arm and beamed.

What the hell? What level of communication had just passed between them, if it could be called communication? Fletch knew he really didn't know and never would know unless his mom attempted to explain but he wouldn't invite that rigmarole because most likely he would remain enlightened. All the guys he knew confessed finding their moms difficult to understand and that their girlfriends appeared trained to be equally confusing in their thought process. The consensus was females were a different species although probably originating on the same planet.

There was a time when Fletch decided to remain unmarried and enjoy a happier life, consorting with his pals. But the long-established pal pool was diminishing, established victims becoming victims of marriage. A couple of former pals had returned to the pool with divorced imminent but oh boy, were those guys giant bores, having had their energy and a big slice of their assets sucked out of them and now they were reduced to unhappy moaners. He wondered what the female's perspective on that would be but that was beyond his capacity to speculate. Knowing women somewhat, he guessed their thoughts would lie on an opposite tangent.

However he might have to marry to be financially better supported than he was now.

Indeed and Fletch knew compromises were not always bad. The truth was he knew a few of his now more distanced pals had married damn fine women and the guys smiled a lot more than they had when single.

* * *

Fletch knocked and waited. He thought he heard someone stumble and shout "Oh fuck."

Mrs Cox opened the door. She looked disheveled, wearing a gown and was rubbing her arm.

"Sorry I must look a mess. I slept in and stumbling out of bed caught my arm on the er dresser."

"Fucking dresser, at least that's what they are when suddenly they're in the wrong place."

Mrs Cox didn't reply but looked at him a little reflectively. "Er come in."

"The name's Fletch."

"Oh of course, I remember now. Call me Thelma."

"Will that be okay with Mr Cox?"

"Who knows? If you're worried call me Mrs Cox."

"Right Thelma. And don't get dressed or do your hair and put on make-up. I'm used to seeing mom like this over breakfast and you look a lot better than she does."

"What are you trying to say?" she turned and stared at him. "That I'm better looking and have a better body shape for my age than your mother?"

Fletch sighed and thought here we go again, another fucking female unable to understand simple explanations. "Er I wasn't attempting to make lucid comparisons. All I was doing was encouraging you to relax. That's all."

"I knew that Fletch. I was just checking to find if you knew that's what you were doing."

Eh? Thelma seemed to think like he did.

"Come along. Don't get weighed down analyzing shades of possible meaning in language. Come and help make coffee and toast or do you want me to cook you something?"

"I've had breakfast."

"Of course you have. But men only think of three things constantly and one of them is food."

"Yeah right, and the other two are money and sex."

"Obviously we went to the same school of life learning," she said airily. "What do you think I should wear in the garden?"

Fletch thought her biggish breasts might stay in place in a strapless bra and a pair of crotchless panties might make his day more interesting. He saw color running on to Thelma's face and thought oh cap she could read his mind. He panicked slightly.

"Go on say it."

He stuttered, "I-I had c-crazy thoughts."

She goaded, "Come on say it."

Fletch hung his head and muttered he'd thought a strapless bra and crotchless panties. God his reputation of being a loser would now lift to become 'a vile loser'.

"Rather inadequate for the garden don't you think?"

Fletch looked up to find she was smiling.

"Y-you have humor."

"Oh thank you Fletch. That's my first big compliment from a male in many a day not counting your willingness to accept me looking frumpish."

"Um but that's only early morning."

"Good man. You have standards. So the answer to my question is...?"

"A hat that will stay on when you bend over; a long-sleeved shirt, long pants and boots."

"Yes and that's what I had in mind but was worried you might find that frumpy."

After breakfast they worked away cooperatively, Fletch doing the heavier work and sawing. They chatted away and became more relaxed with each other.

"You are great with an older woman," Thelma said during the coffee break. "I guess that's due to living with your mother."

"She doesn't seem all that old to me."

"Oh good man. You are rather charming Fletch."

"Thanks. And you're not too bad yourself."

"So what do you think of me?"

"You're okay."

"Hmnmm."

They worked for another two hours and then Thelma said, "That's enough for today. How much do I owe you?"

"Nothing. You're one of mom's best friends."

Sounding displeased Thelma said they'd talk about that later. "You shower first while I start lunch. I can find a change of clothes for you."

"No I'll dress in what I'm wearing. It was more dusty that hot out here."

Fletch was disappointed she didn't joke she'd try to find a pair of crotchless panties. If she was hoping for sex there were no signs of it. Damn. He'd occasionally wondered what it would be like plowing a much older woman's garden. Thelma would be in her earlier fifties, just like his mom.

Fletch was in the shower and about to reach for his dick and jerk off thinking about Thelma when he heard her enter the bathroom and say, "Got room in there for me?"

Oh for fuck sake. "Um I'm nude."

She laughed and said dryly with the water running she hoped he wasn't dressed.

Fletch turned to face the back wall and then thought why be shy? She was being brave.

She entered.

Pink nipples were centered on apricot circles, the biggest areola he'd ever seen. The nipples were already up so she must have got them up for him.

He flashed a big smile. "Great tits."

"They're too big," she said and smiled toothily when he protested, "Oh no."

She asked did he mind sharing the shower and he said of course not.

"Touch me if you wish."

He was amazed to find her breasts were not at all wrinkled although her face was around the eyes and her arms certainly were and she'd lost tone on her thighs. Ah she had a trimmed bush.

"I wish," he grinned and grabbed Thelma and she squealed in obvious delight and pushed his head down. Fletch mouthed a nipple and sucked while sinking his fingers into her saggy butt.

"Oh God," Thelma sighed. "I'm loving this."

"Great tits," Fletch said, pulling away for a breather.

"It thrills me you think so. I trimmed around my pussy this morning thinking you might be put off by a wild bush."

"You were expecting this?"

"Oh yes. You mom and I talked about it and she set you up for me."

Fletch was staggered. He'd experience a huge variety of female students and lecturers at college and then university and had learned to respect the brainpower of women but this was something else, two middle-aged females conspiring to allow one of them to lay him.

"I find it difficult to accept my mom knew how to arrange this. She knows nothing about sex."

Thelma sighed and patted his cheek before kissing him deeply. And then, "Even before you father died she had commenced an affair with Robert Bolton that still continues. She has wanted you to know about it but lacked the courage to tell you."

"Jesus, he was my football coach at high school and he's married."

"I'm married Fletch."

"Yes but this is different."

"Don't be an asshole Fletch. I expect better of you than that."

"Sorry. That's me thinking there's one standard of behavior for mom while the standard for myself is conveniently set lower."

"Exactly. Oh this conversation is killing your erection," Thelma said, taking him in her hand and reaching for the soap. "I can easily fix that."

As they dried each other Thelma said, "I want you to fuck me and fuck me real good."

"Really well."

"I'd appreciate you concentrating on fucking than on grammar."

They laughed.

Fletch picked up Thelma and asked, "Do you take it up the butt?""

"Good heavens no," Thelma gulped. He turned out of the bathroom and she said, "Wrong way."

"No it's cool. You'll have your first fuck with me on the dinning room table."

"Omigod," Thelma said weakly.

Thelma had a large plump pussy and Fletch fell on it gleefully and sucked her off 'real good', turning her into a quivering and almost sobbing heap.

"Oh that was glorious," she panted. "You have a tongue made for that."

Fletch nodded, having been told that by younger women.

He held Thelma's legs apart and that's when he learned the loss of flexibility in many older women. He pulled until feeling muscular resistance and then eased back a little. Her gaping and leaking pussy looked more than ready to receive him. Fletch pushed in and joined her in making noise. He felt he was scarcely touching the sides but once he was screwing her Thelma tightened up round his thrusting cock and they were away, now with much more noise, especially from her.

* * *

"Hi," Sylvie greeted her son. "How did it go?"

"We made good progress in the garden and she's a good fuck."

Sylvie looked aghast and said, "Um..."

"Yes she told me you are fu... um have been with Bob Bolton for neigh on three years. That's okay with me mom. I'm glad you're still interested in doing it. They say it's good for your health."

"Would you like coffee?" croaked his mom.

* * *

Although Fletch never returned to that church he continued to see a lot of Thelma Cox, dressed and undressed. He was pleased to be regularly fucking again and she proved to be surprisingly good company and got him used to seeing a larger pussy, stomach flab and dropped ass cheeks. He visited her most nights until Mr Cox was discharged from hospital. Prior to Mr Cox being 'back in the saddle with authority' as Thelma termed it, Fletch continued to have it off with her some afternoons at her younger sister's home. Occasionally the younger sister Annette Laws arranged to arrive home well ahead of her husband and would watch Fletch and Thelma doing in while working on her pussy with a dildo. The adulterous couple and Annette found watching and being watched sublimely kinky but Annette refused invitations to join them.

Fletch hadn't worried about committing adultery after Thelma told him her asshole of a husband had been run down by an irate husband. The outrage husband, who'd long suspected the couple engaged in illicit sex, had finally caught them at it and was currently doing jail time. Thelma said just as well the pursuing guy had jumped into his wife's small car rather than his AWD truck. She was satisfied with the outcome because the husband had been ordered to pay substantial compensation and Thelma's husband had handed all of that to her. He had medical and personal accident insurance.

A couple of days after Thelma ended with Fletch, stunning him by paying him $5000 from her compensation money and saying he was well worth it, Annette Laws called him.

"Have you and my sister ended your affair absolutely?"

"Oh hi Annette, yes absolutely."

"Would you care to engage with me a couple of times a week?"

Fletch thought why not. He liked to fuck. "I don't see why not."

She snorted and said that didn't sound very enthusiastic. "How much do you want?"

God he was being promoted to male prostitute, er gigolo. "Two hundred a session."

"One fifty."

"Okay."

She snorted and said how could he discount if thinking he was worth $200.

"Actually $200 is just a token payment. I feel I'm worth more than that."

"I think so too," she laughed.

"Well let's settle for two hundred a session."

"You bastard," she said, having taught Fletch not to discount. "All right, agreed. I can't wait. Be outside my home at 3:00 today. Is that time suitable?"

"You're the boss."

"I'm not a domatrix Fletch. I'm a gentle, loving woman."

Becoming more and more aware that women like being told what they expect to hear, Fletch said, "Of course, I knew that."

Actually Annette proved to be kinky. She desired to be fucked with her biggest dildo hanging out of her ass. Fletch thought why not; he might feel it applying extra sensation to his dick.

He delighted Annette by standing her by the mirrored doors of her wardrobes and then picking her up with a standing fuck. She was delighted at seeing the swaying dildo as Fletch pounded her tight cunt. In fact she was so excited she drooled over him making him think she ought to be paying him a thousand bucks for engaged in kinky sex.

She then decided she'd liked to be butt fucked. He husband refused to do anal and to allow her to used toys during sex.

"Okay anal is fine. Why don't you suck a butt plug to muffle your screams until you've creamed?

"Good idea," she said, getting on to her hands and knees to pull out her box of toys from under the bed. Looking at the sweet little anus ring poking up at him Fletch thought she was in a great position to do it. So quickly he knelt behind it.

"Just a minute. I'm finding a butt plug for you. You'll allow me to insert it, won't you -- I have lube?"

"Er yes," said the guy who occasionally had a female's finger up his butt while he screwed her.

" After four weeks Annette said she'd had enough.

"You are lovely so have been so caring, helping me through some of my sexual fantasies, Thelma said she gave him a bonus of $5000.

Annette obvious enjoyed his astonished look and for the first time kissed him on the mouth and kissed him 'real good'.

Although dressed because they'd finished the session and had showered, they sank to the floor and engaged in conventional missionary.

Fletch was wiping his dick on her discarded panties when they heard her husband drive into the garage.

"Omigod," Annette panicked.

That's when years of football tactics coaching came to their rescue. Fletch knew he had the choice. He could choose offensive and go out and beat up the jerk for coming home early. But that would compromise Annette and really be unfair on the guy who'd unwittingly had allowed his wife's sexual favors become accessible to Fletch due to his inattentiveness, irregularity and not wanting to engage creatively. No the decision had to be defensive play.

"Keep on the floor and tell him your butt plug is stuck, that you were home early and felt sexy."

"B-but Ralph won't know w-what a b-butt plug is?"

"What a wonderful way to introduce him to the art."

Annette looked at him big-eyed.

"Baby you have no other choice. Tell him to remove it very gently. Thank god we used a condom. I'll take them all with me. Goodbye sweet one. Be brave and manipulative and he'll be compliant because he'll not know what else to do; you know what men are like. I'm off through the front door as soon as I hear the side door open and know where he is."

Annette called him late that night.

"I'm absolutely exhausted," she whispered. "It worked just as you said it would. His eyes bulged and he asked me about the purpose of a butt plug and the sensations it gave me and he enjoyed the plop as it came out and then began talking to me about its functional design. I said I had a number of toys and his eyes practically flew out of their sockets."

"He's asleep now. We were at it for six hours and haven't eaten. Eventually I told him I had this fantasy of having the big dildo handing out of my butt while he fucked me. I suggested doing it standing in the dressing room so we could watch in the mirrors. He wondered if he could hold me up as well as fuck me and I said of course he could, he was strong. Well he got very excited watching me work the dildo into my ass and then watched it swinging as he held me up. He was grinning like a kid in a toy store. And then just as we were working to get him into my pussy he yelled he was coming and I couldn't believe the strength and amount of his series of ejaculations. He looked down in surprise and said omigod, he'd cum like a real super sex guy."