Acts of Infidelity - Mary and Brian

Over the years, it grew stronger and stronger until... but more on that later too.

So what about early our sex life?

We were both virgins when we married, having been brought up in very religious families where sex out of wedlock was an absolute taboo. Of course, we played around and enjoyed limited oral sex, but it was never to completion. We went to the driving movies almost every weekend where we made out and explored within the confines of our car.

Like most teenagers we had an active social life; going to parties, going away with large groups of kids staying at a variety of places. Once again, although we managed to sleep in the same bed a few times, a full-on sexual experience was never possible.

Kids of today will find that hard to understand but back then it was the norm.

On one occasion we thought we were alone at her place. We were both naked; Mary was lying on her bedroom floor and I was giving her oral (one of my favourite pastimes). My legs were sticking out of the doorway and into the hallway where they would have been quite visible from the kitchen.

I heard a noise; her brother and his girlfriend had arrived and were already sitting at the kitchen table.

We scrambled around got dressed and casually entered the kitchen. To this day I don't know if they saw us but we still have a laugh about it.

Anyway, after four years together in this unsatisfactory way, Mary finally succumbed to my charms and we decided to get married. Nine months later we were man and wife. It was and remains one of the happiest days of my life.

The first time we had full unprotected sex was just two days before our wedding, and it was beautiful.

So, we embarked on married life together. At first it was amazing; being accepted as a couple, free to make love whenever we wanted, enjoying each other's company in any way we wanted any time we wanted.

But throughout all this time, that niggling perversion was eating away at me.

Please understand that I love my wife Mary completely and always will but, whatever you might read in books and see in movies, love on its own is not enough to keep a couple together. However unpalatable it might sound, a marriage without a functioning, satisfying sex life is a marriage at risk.

By the time we were in our thirties, we had three kids, life was busy and sex with Mary had become so routine that it was boring and satisfied neither of us. It was the same totally predictable process each time; we would undress, go to bed, I would go down on her then, after a while, I would get on top and we would make love.

It was nice; not thrilling or exciting but neither of us talked about it.

For a long time that was the extent of our sex life. No variety, no experimentation, no real pleasure. Mary had never like giving oral sex and will not allow me or any other man to come in her mouth. Even now after having had so many lovers, she doesn't really like going down on them.

The prospect of having a satisfying sex life at all was looking more and more remote, let alone ever having my wife-sharing fantasy fulfilled. So, I began to look for excitement and variety elsewhere, beginning with a visit to a sex shop that had many magazines and trashy erotic stories.

I devoured a great number of them and unsurprisingly found that the ones that really got me going were those stories where the wife was shared with other men. My absolute favourites always involved the husband watching, encouraging or waiting at home while his wife had sex with other guys.

It was a Penthouse letter that really sparked my interest because it resonated with me at a deep level. It was written by a husband who had come home and discovered his wife in bed with another man. He did nothing but watch. After that, he spied on her over and over again until one day she told him that she had seen him watching.

After that, they arranged for him to watch more openly while she fucked many other men.

As soon as I had read that story, I realised that I was a voyeur too. I started to devour stories on that theme in greater and greater quantities and as I masturbated to them, my dreams of sharing my own wife growing in earnest.

The more I imagined Mary naked and in bed with other men, the more I realised that it wasn't just a fantasy anymore; I really wanted it to happen.

The next real step on that road came when later in my thirties when I almost succeeded in sharing her with a friend.

But then I was stupid and blew it.

We were staying at a beach house with a group of friends as we did often back then. It was warm and sunny; few clothes were being worn and, with the help of a few beers, a great deal of light-hearted joking and flirting was going on.

I was pleased to see that Mary in particular was relaxed and happy. Bright, cheerful, slightly tipsy and at her most attractive, she was flirting happily with one of our male friends who was responding in kind. Doing much the same myself, it was a little while before it dawned on me that perhaps their little flirtation was getting more serious. He seemed to be finding excuses to make light bodily contact; their hands accidentally touching as they poured drinks; his body brushing against hers as they passed around the house or on the sand outside.

There was little that an Alpha Male could object to, but I was not an Alpha Male and for Mary, this was further than she would normally go. My tummy began to fill with butterflies as my mind filled with wicked, excited thoughts. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched the two of them more and more closely as the day progressed.

At one point, someone suggested going for a walk along the seashore. Mary was keen and I was not in any way surprised when her 'friend' said he wanted to go too. They looked around for other volunteers but found none. Mary looked at me with her eyebrows raised. Whether she wanted me to go with them or stay behind, I couldn't tell but this was an opportunity I couldn't miss so I made an excuse and said I would stay in the beach house and help get things sorted.

The look on her pretty face was puzzled.

"Have a nice time," I told her, the intonation on my voice intended to convey meaning.

I have no idea whether she understood, but with a half frown, she turned towards her friend and the two of them left the house together, turning to walk along the sand in the warmth of the evening. I had to agree it was a beautiful night, typical of so many in Western Australia: warm and romantic; plenty of opportunity for privacy. I knew Mary found him attractive; I was sure he felt the same about her so, with my tummy rumbling excitedly, I let them go off together.

The thrill and pain as I watched them disappear, side by side was almost indescribable: Mary's full, feminine body alongside his tall, muscular frame. As they went out of sight, my mind filled with images of the two of them together; of their hands accidentally brushing together - once, twice. Of him taking her hand in his, of her initial reluctance then acquiescence. Of them walking close together, hand-in-hand; their bodies touching, first accidentally, then on purpose.

My arousal as I pictured this was powerful. My heart thumped, my chest ached and I had to go to great lengths to conceal my persistent erection from the kids and the rest of our friends.

Half an hour passed and they hadn't returned. Despite the distractions all around me, new and more intense images filled my mind. Of the handsome couple finding a secluded spot; of Mary leading him by the hand into an even more private place; of their lips touching, of their mouths opening, of their tongues intertwining. I pictured them together, arms around each other, bodies pressed close as they kissed in the darkness.

My cock stiffened as the images grew more intense. In my mind I saw them exploring each other's scantily-clad bodies, I watched his hands rise to her full breasts, kneading them. I saw her removing her top for him; baring herself; loving the touch of his fingers on her body, her breasts, her large, hard nipples.

The people around me faded into nothing as I pictured Mary, her eyes locked lustfully on his, lowering herself to the sandy ground. I saw his large, strong hands stripping away her panties, I saw her press her knees together for a second then yield and allow him to spread her thighs wide, exposing her sweet, trimmed triangle, glistening with lubrication.

My cock grew even harder, tangling in my shorts as I imagined him lowering himself onto her, her warm, familiar face, eyes open wide as he rubbed his cock up and down her slit. I saw her mouth open as his rounded head worked its way into the mouth of her vagina. I saw her whole body tense and her back arch as with a powerful flexing of his buttocks, he thrust himself deep into her sweet, open...

"Brian? Are you okay mate?"

I don't know what might have happened if my friend hadn't brought me back to reason so suddenly but thank God he did. The spontaneous ejaculation I was on the verge of having would have been very difficult to explain either to the kids or our group of friends. For the first time in my life I was pleased to have so small and inconspicuous an erection.

With one eye still on the distant sands, I re-joined our friends and tried unsuccessfully to put whatever might be happening out of my mind.

They were gone for over an hour; an hour of agony and uncertainty. When they finally returned to the rest of the group, I looked desperately for evidence of what might have happened, to find signs of her infidelity; disappointed that there might be none, terrified that there would be.

Her hair was definitely tousled but was that sand on her back too? Were his knees scuffed? Was the pink flush on her chest just the sun, or was it the aftermath of a powerful orgasm?

I was distracted for the rest of the evening, unable to keep my eyes off the pair of them, looking for signs of recent intimacy in the way the looked at each other; their body language; anything! And all the time my heart was thumping in jealous arousal as I drank more and more.

In the end I could stand it no longer and, when we were finally alone, I asked her if anything had happened.

It was a mistake, but not in the way that might have been expected. Instead of either reassuring me she hadn't cheated or telling me in detail how she had, Mary simply dismissed my question

In my drunken, half aroused, frustrated-wannabe-cuckold state, this casual dismissal infuriated me beyond reason. I got angry. I was stupid and yelled at her. I don't think the word stupid comes close to describing the way I behaved.

If Mary had been tempted to cheat before, my behaviour knocked those stirrings out of her. There was a terrible row and my dreams were put back years.

But that bad behaviour brought its own punishment. Having had a taste of what being cuckolded might really feel like, my mind, heart and yes, my groin were now ever more dead-set on making it actually happen. Seeing my wife having sex with other men became a full-on obsession.

Over time, gradually but irrevocably, the driving force in my entire sex life became the desire to see my wife in bed with other men. It was to take twenty years before that fantasy came true; years in which the perverse desire took deep, permanent root but, like most of the best things in life, it was worth the wait.

So what was the next step?

With a moribund sex life and my fantasied denied, I was frustrated and despairing. In my search for excitement, I started talking with other women, men, and couples in chatrooms. These encounters frequently got me aroused especially when I was talking with a real hot wife or her cuckold husband.

I also started to chat online with other guys and their wives about the cuckold lifestyle. This opened my mind to other sexual possibilities; possibilities that I had never thought I would ever be interested in.

Early on, I remember reading an erotic story about a group of friends playing a sex game of dare. If a person lost a round, they would have to do whatever the winner wanted. It was pretty standard stuff but what I particularly remember is my unexpectedly strong reaction to the part of the story where the woman told her husband his forfeit was to suck another man's cock.

My first response to this was, why ruin a good story by introducing man on man stuff? However, many months later and after several chats with guys who had gone down on their wives after they had been filled by another man, I started to rethink.

After a short while, I began to wonder what it would be like to go down on Mary immediately another man had cum in her, an act that I had come to know as eating a creampie. A natural addition to my main fantasy of seeing Mary with another man, it took several months but gradually the idea of tasting another man's semen began to appeal.

The appeal began to grow stronger until it became one of my favourite fantasies.

Then, contrary to all my previous fantasies and a full ten years after Mary's near-miss, in the end it was me who finally cheated. Driven by years of fantasy and frustration, my sex drive was through the roof. I desperately needed release and it was clear that my wife was not going to provide this.

I do not claim this as an excuse but it is the truth. My need for excitement grew intolerable so in desperation, I went online seeking a married lady who wanted some adventure and sexy fun.

Lorraine responded and we began an affair that lasted two years.

An awesome, exciting woman stuck in an unrewarding marriage with an ultra-conservative husband, Lorraine told me from the start that she wanted to have as many new and exciting experiences as possible - and boy, did she ever go for it.

In many ways she was the perfect match for me in bed.

We started with daytime meetings, moved quickly into nights in hotel bedrooms and eventually even managed to spend a few weekends together. The sex was simply sensational. Lorraine wanted to try all those things Mary had always shunned. She wanted me to cum in her mouth, do anal, loved missionary, and insisted on trying every other position she could think of.

Lorraine delivered in spadefuls the excitement that had been missing from my marriage for so long. She

was simply insatiable; the rather modest size of my erection didn't seem to matter. I will never forget the things we did or the way she made me feel but in the end the deception ate away at me. I could not carry on with the dishonesty and guilt.

With a heavy heart and after two amazing years, I ended the relationship.

Though I knew it was the right thing to do, I did it in the expectation that for the rest of my life, at best sex with Mary would at best remain as unsatisfying as it had become and more likely, our sexual relationship would wither away into mere friendship.

Several more years passed by, years in which my obsession with being cuckolded was as strong as ever. Knowing that an affair was not the solution, I did not want to give up on my fantasy so, once again I went online.

Soon I met Chris, a guy who lived a few streets away from us. We connected. After a few conversations, I told him of my desire to share my wife sexually. He was single, about the same age as us and claimed to have a large penis.

I began to put two and two together and make... a possibility at least.

We chatted more, discovering that he and Mary shared a love of dancing. The possibility grew stronger and more interesting. We met a few times; he was indeed quite good looking and fit as well. I knew Mary would find him attractive but would that be enough?

I invited him home to meet Mary. Well used to what she considered my perverse fantasy, I'm sure she had a pretty good idea as to what I had in mind but to my delight and amazement, she went along with it, though making it quietly clear that nothing would happen.

Even so, I knew this was a huge step forward for her and for me. Remembering clearly my last disastrous attempt at match-making, I made sure Chris understood clearly how sensitive she was and that it was imperative he wasn't pushy.

If he let things flow and develop naturally, there was at least a chance he would be able to get her into bed.

Chris however had different plans. After he arrived, I made an excuse and left them alone together. It was only for twenty minutes but he couldn't control himself even for that short time and asked her straight out if sex was going to be on the cards in the future.

Mary's reaction both to him and to me was unrepeatable. When he had gone, we had a row that rivalled a world war during which she threw the TV remote against the wall where it smashed into pieces.

I picked it up, taped it together and for the next few years, as we used it, it was a nightly reminder of my fantasies, my stupidity but also what Mary could do if she ever changed her mind.

To say I was pissed off with Chris would be an understatement on a grand scale, putting my plans and fantasies back even further. If he had shown just a little maturity and patience, they could maybe have become lovers, but you can't help some stupid people.

I was despondent and thought that my dream was finally over. Though I didn't know it at the time, I could not have been more wrong but I had to wait another eight years before things changed completely, my fantasy became real and I found myself married to the Hot Wife I had dreamed of for so long.

Fortunately, my obsession would not let me give up, though my discretion made me wait another year or two before I felt able to raise the subject again.

Well, discretion, extreme familiarity and a complete lack of excitement with the little sex we were having, coupled with a marked deterioration in my own performance caused by a combination of severe bedroom boredom and a medical condition I had that hadn't been diagnosed at that stage.

My frustration reached a peak one day after a singularly unsatisfying and unengaging session in bed. On the edge of despair at the prospect of never having a sex life again, I sat Mary down and told her that we need to talk.

Finally recognising the seriousness of my problem, she agreed.

I started by saying that there were two of us in the marriage, both of us with needs and that our sex life was not healthy. I told her I loved her so much but I needed a satisfying sex life too.

Something had to change because I was genuinely afraid for the future of our marriage.

After a long talk, we agreed that we should go away for a long weekend; just the two of us, somewhere we could explore the problem of our sexual disfunction and think about our future relationship. As part of that, we should explore my fantasy in depth for the first time, giving it real consideration rather than simply dismissing it as perverse as had happened every time in the past.

We could explore her own fantasies too and try to understand the reasons we had reached this point.

We both had to be honest and agree not to argue, fight or get defensive. After that, even if it my fantasy remained just that, at least we could have fun with it. Perhaps she could tease me and even role play a bit. Ester Perel's book 'Mating in Captivity' was to be the start point for our discussions.

Thank God she listened. We went away. We talked. We explored the fantasy. We discussed her concerns and fears. We reached an agreement.

I returned home if not with a Hot Wife, then with a wife whose mind was at least partly open to the idea. The excitement I felt was almost indescribable but this time I wasn't stupid; this time I forced myself to be patient and let Mary take things at her own pace, however frustratingly slow that might be for me.

She agreed to begin by talking anonymously online with a couple I had been chatting with for a few years. Though members of a church in the USA, the wife was a real, live Hot Wife whose boyfriend visited her regularly and took her to bed where they would make love.