After The Fact Ch. 02

Author's Note: This is a 3-part story about a husband discovering his wife's infidelity and trying to deal with the consequences to himself and his daughter. Although the first chapter can stand by itself if you liked the way it ends, this is just a continuation and won't be as effective without reading Chapter 1.

In Chapter 1, John found out that Jenny had cheated on him while she was out of town with her friend Megan six months earlier. He was so furious that he through her out immediately. His anger caused him to act so maliciously that he hurt his daughter in the process. Now he discovers the fallout has only begun.

I want to thank my volunteer editor Angel Love for encouraging me, cleaning up my mistakes and especially for helping me to learn how you're actually supposed to use punctuation (my high school English teacher would be shocked). Also many thanks to Josephus who challenged me every step of the way so I had to go over the story about a hundred times until I had it just the way I wanted. All new writers should be lucky enough to have a good author force you to honestly look at your work.

"Hey John...Holy shit! What happened to you?"

I had stopped by my best friend's house the next day. Luckily Steve and Sharon were both home. I was so out of it, I hadn't even thought about the possibility that they would be gone. I just piled Danielle into the car and drove over. Steve evidently noticed my condition.

I gave him a warning look and glanced down at Dani. Although I could see his puzzled expression, he caught my meaning. He kneeled down in front of her and put his arms out.

"How are you, young lady?"

She dove into his arms crying. "Jenny went away."

Steve looked up at me shocked. He started to say something, but I stopped him by quickly shaking my head no.

When she calmed down a little, he suggested she run upstairs to see Tyler. He was Steve's son and was just younger than Danielle. They had been best friends since her mom's death.

When she was out of sight, I tried to speak, but this time he shook me off. He turned and walked from the room. A few seconds later he walked back with Sharon, who looked very concerned. We sat down across from each other and she spoke first.

"John, you look terrible. What's going on?"

I took a deep breath. "Jenny's gone. I told her to leave last night."

"WHAT?" Came the startled response from both of them.

I thought I had decided how to explain this, but couldn't seem to remember a word of what I'd rehearsed.

"She cheated on me. I found out about it last night." I put my head in my hands trying to get my emotions under control. It was definitely a losing battle.

Sharon recovered enough to ask, "Are you sure? I just can't believe that. I know she loves you and Dani more than anything."

I thought about telling them everything, but decided it would be too painful. It would also be very uncomfortable for them because they had been friends with Jenny since we began dating. No matter how pissed off I was, I wasn't expecting them to hate her also. I settled for being vague.

"I don't want to talk about specifics, but yes I'm sure. There were pictures, plus she admitted it. I don't know if it was an affair or not, just that it happened about six months ago. There probably have been other instances. I can't imagine she would do something that bad on a whim. It seems more likely that it has been going on for a while."

Their phone rang, interrupting any further conversation. Sharon grabbed it and started talking. Steve asked me a few quiet questions, but didn't seem to want to discuss anything important without Sharon there also. She had taken the phone into the kitchen so I couldn't make out what she was saying.

She walked back into the room carrying her coat. "That was Nicole. She said Jenny is a wreck and she needs my help. John, would it be OK with you if I went? Nicole was really upset and I think I should try to help if I can."

I couldn't see what her staying would accomplish so I just shrugged.

She looked at me intently, "I love both of you and I'd like to help if I can. Is there anything you want me to say about you or Danielle?"

I looked at her with determination. "I can't control what you and Steve do or say to her, that's not my business. I want to be clear though, she's not welcome in our lives. Anything I say to you two, I expect to be between us. If you feel like that's putting you in a position you are uncomfortable with, you need to let me know."

They both looked at me surprised. I don't think they understood the depth of her deception or my resolve. It was tough not to be totally honest with them, but I was certain they would rather not know. Sharon kissed Steve and left. We didn't talk about anything important for the next few hours. Since the kids were entertaining themselves, we watched a basketball game. It seemed trivial, but I guess anything would at that point.

About 7:00 Sharon came back. She didn't waste any time letting me know I was in trouble. "John, please tell me it isn't true."

Steve looked surprised. "Honey, what's wrong?"

Sharon didn't take her eyes off of me. "John?"

"What should I have done Sharon? Apologized for not being enough of a man to keep her happy?" I said sarcastically...I knew the second I said it that it was a big mistake.

"That's enough John." Steve said angrily. "You need to calm down." Turning to Sharon, he asked "Honey, what's going on?"

"It was terrible, Jenny was hysterical. She said John didn't just throw her out. He told her that he wouldn't talk to her anymore and would get a restraining order so she couldn't come near Danielle. Then he told her she had five minutes to pack and get out or he'd email the pictures to her family and work." She turned back to me, "She said you sat there counting out loud, even when she had to say goodbye to Dani. John, I'll believe you if you say you didn't do that, you've never lied to me. Is this some kind of misunderstanding?" She stopped and looked hopefully at me.

Steve was quiet while I tried to defend myself. "I didn't want her in my house anymore. She's dangerous and shouldn't be around my daughter. I don't know what I should have done differently."

Sharon seemed undecided. Evidently Jenny hadn't told her everything. "I'm not sure what's going on, but you didn't see her, she is devastated. We had to get her doctor to write a prescription for something so she could get some rest. John, she loves you and is very sorry about what she did. I understand you being angry, but why did you have to be so cruel? We've known each other for years, this isn't you."

I was suddenly feeling more tired than angry. "Look, I don't know what's right anymore. Sharon, I'm sorry I snapped at you before, I didn't mean anything by it. I'm tired, we should go. I really appreciate you guys putting up with me all day, I know it helped Dani to be here." I called Danielle and we left.

As I reached the door, Sharon stopped me and held me tightly. She whispered in my ear, "I don't know what to think about what you did, but I hope you change your mind." She looked down at Danielle. "For all of your sakes."

I left feeling stupid. I should have known Sharon wouldn't like my reaction to Jenny, but I wasn't exactly thinking straight. I wondered if telling her everything would have made a difference.

I spent the next few days with Danielle, just trying to get our feet underneath us. I couldn't eat or sleep. The only thing keeping me together was knowing that I had to be there for her. She was so devastated I couldn't imagine how it would get better.

I had a couple of tense calls with Jenny's family, but they were surprisingly neutral. No one liked what I had done, but they also didn't want to take her side. A week later Steve stopped by to see how I was and left me the number for a counselor he recommended highly. I told him I wasn't interested, but he told me he'd "Beat me like a drum," if I didn't at least call.

I knew he was just trying to help so I promised to think about it. The more I toyed with the idea, the more sense it made. I wasn't any good to my daughter in my current frame of mind, so I decided to try it, at least once. I was able to get an appointment for Thursday, so dropped off Dani at Steve's house and headed out.

I followed Steve's directions to an out of the way office park. It was a group of small offices that contained very different types of businesses. I checked the address a second time and couldn't believe what I was seeing. Steve had tricked me. The name on the office belonged to a Church.

I decided to follow through with it because things really couldn't get much worse. As I walked through the door, it was easy to see this was a very low-profit organization. It looked like what you might do to your garage if you had twenty minutes of free time. A man in his early 30's walked in the room and smiled as he offered me his hand.

"You must be John, I'm Bryan. Steve told me a lot about you, I hope I can be of some help."

I studied him closely trying to see if he'd give anything away. I wasn't anti-religious, but I wasn't looking to get converted either. I had gone to Church when I was younger, but stopped after college. I couldn't even remember why anymore. I knew Steve and Sharon went to Church all the time, but they hadn't done more than occasionally ask if Dani or I would like to go. If Bryan was a man Steve would recommend so highly, I guess it wouldn't hurt to hear him out.

He invited me back to his office and we talked. He started out as a licensed counselor, but walked away from it because he felt too many colleagues catered to people's narcissism. Bryan had used his religious background to change the way he viewed counseling. He took a job with the non-denominational church as a youth minister because it would allow him to work with kids, plus have time to use his skills to try and help people in need.

Now he considered himself an 'advisor' who had a good foundation for his opinions. I knew he was somebody I wanted to talk to further when he told me, "A lot of people just needed a good kick in the ass to get their lives together."

That didn't sound like the typical psychobabble I was afraid of and it also didn't sound like some kind of recruitment speech. He was honest, blunt and entirely charismatic. I thought this might be turning out to be a good idea after all.

After we talked about what he thought I could get from meeting with him, he asked about my thoughts. I didn't really have any idea, but I promised to keep an open mind. I just wanted to be able to deal with what Jenny had done so I could keep my sanity and not make things any worse for Danielle.

He listened intently to everything I told him. When I tried talking about what I had seen of the party, he politely stopped me. He wanted to know about me before I met her, about our dating life and my opinion of our married life. I even told him some of the details of our sex life (the more mild ones) and he didn't seem shocked or even surprised. I found that after over an hour of talking about all the good things, I felt a lot better.

Bryan informed me that he had to head over to the Church to do some work, but he'd like to see me again if I wouldn't mind. He reminded me that this wasn't true therapy and I shouldn't consider his advice as anything more than what I would get from talking to a priest or rabbi. He encouraged me to seek professional therapy if I desired it. I let him know I wasn't interested right now (and as a single father who just lost half the family income, I couldn't afford it either).

Bryan assured me that his sessions would be at no charge, but unlike seeing a professional, he would have conditions I'd have to agree to if I wished to continue. He told me we could worry about it later when I knew better what I wanted to do. I went home feeling almost like myself. Unfortunately it didn't take long for things to return to normal.

I went home to grab something for Steve I forgot to bring with me when I dropped off Dani. When I pulled up to the house I saw Jenny's sister Nicole waiting for me on the porch. I really didn't want to talk to her right now. Not only was I afraid of ruining the first taste of a good mood I'd had since I threw Jenny out, I honestly liked Nicole. I wasn't looking forward to a confrontation with someone who had never treated me with anything but kindness.

"We need to talk." It was simple, straight to the point and I knew she wasn't going anywhere until I listened, so I invited her in.

"Jenny is miserable. She hasn't been herself since she walked through the door. She cries all the time, she doesn't eat and I'm worried about what she's thinking. She took two weeks of family leave from work, but I don't believe she's planning on going back. She told me what you found out and I understand your anger," she paused before continuing, "But this punishment of yours is too much."

"Taking Danielle away is cruel, why would do something like that? You should at least give her the chance to explain what happened. Even if you still want to divorce her, please let her tell you her side of the story. Do it for her, for Danielle, for yourself or for whatever the hell makes you happy, but I'm begging you to talk to her."

I thought about it long and hard. Part of me wanted to try to understand, but part of me was afraid to know more than I already did. I knew she had done something the night before and the night after the video. I didn't know if I could take the truth.

"I just can't right now. I'm sorry but I'm still so angry that if I see her it could turn into Friday night all over again. I know what I did was harsh, probably too harsh, but it's done. I don't trust her around my daughter and I have no desire to be in the same room with her. I know you're in a tough spot, being in the middle of this, but my answer is no."

Nicole looked at me sadly. For just a second it almost seemed like she was looking at me with pity, rather than sadness for her sister. That didn't make any sense so I dismissed it as just my imagination. She left with a quick hug, which caught me off guard. I had prepared myself for yelling and swearing. Nothing had made sense since I saw the video and this just added to the weirdness.

I struggled through the next two weeks without any significant surprises. I had a decent talk with Jenny's mom and assured her she could see Danielle any time she wanted. My only condition was that Jenny wasn't allowed to see her. I reminded her that Danielle wouldn't lie to me, so I'd find out if they went behind my back. I sincerely hoped it wouldn't come to that; too much had already been taken from my daughter.

I continued with my weekly meetings with Bryan. My fourth meeting became a turning point for everything. Our first meeting had been very constructive for me. I left feeling better about things, but there was no way to sustain it. Our subsequent meetings were much like the first. I walked in expecting to have a similar talk.

Bryan didn't waste any time. "John, do you remember our first conversation?"

I wasn't sure which part in particular he was referring to, so I just said yes.

"I've let you talk for three weeks uninterrupted. It's confirmed my initial observation that you are indeed a good man and a good father. The problem is that you're not seeing the truth." He paused to let the statement sink in.

"This is going to be a time when you need to remember that I'm a preacher and I'm not always going to talk to you the way a professional counselor would." When I indicated that I understood, he continued. "A terrible thing happened to you and your family. Now you have to make a real decision about what comes next in your life. Are you going to be a victim and wander aimlessly, or are you going to step up and be a man."

WOW! I didn't see that coming. "What exactly are you suggesting, Bryan?"

"First, you need to know why this thing happened to you. Next, you need to decide what to do about it. Third," he paused again, looking at me firmly, "You need to ask your wife to forgive you."

If it wasn't for the shock that statement caused me, I probably would have stormed out. Instead I looked at him stupidly, wondering if this was some kind of joke.

"I'm not kidding, John. If you are going to recover from this, you need to realize how wrong you were and what it's cost you."

"Cost me? My wife's behavior cost me my marriage. My daughter's a wreck. Her family can barely tolerate talking to me and my best friends treat me like I have the plague. How can you talk to me about cost?"

"See, now that's the victim I was talking about. Your choices caused all the things you just described. You made your decisions and are living with the consequences. I sit here listening to you talk about how great your life was, then one event causes a complete collapse of everything."

My anger began to build, "So what are you suggesting, I'm wrong for being upset that she cheated on me? Not an affair, not a one night stand, but a complete betrayal of everything we had. A whole weekend of being a slut, doing it in public and doing it with who knows how many men and women."

Bryan gave me a withering look but he didn't change his tone as he continued. "I never suggested you shouldn't be upset and I never suggested you shouldn't divorce her. You are well within your rights to do both. I said you needed to find out about the reasons for her betrayal and you need to ask for forgiveness." His looked changed to something resembling the way I look at Danielle when she's not behaving.

"People have such a wrong-headed view of forgiveness. It's not the act of alleviating someone's wrongdoing; it's allowing the burden to be taken from you. Right now you are acting as judge, jury and executioner. You are doing it to a person who you still love and the guilt is ruining your life." When he was sure I was actually listening and trying to make sense out of what he was saying, he continued.

"There is a true story of a mother whose son was murdered. She lived in grief for several years until she went to see the man convicted of killing him. After meeting him in jail, she forgave him. The simple act of giving up her hatred allowed her to go on with her life. It didn't make her like him or understand what he had done. It didn't change his punishment or the way society treated him. She just needed to get rid of the pain to do something constructive with her life."

"Think about all the good things you've told me about your wife. How much you loved her and what a positive impact she has had on your life. You tell me if I'm wrong, has this punishment made your life or Danielle's any better?" When he saw I wasn't going to defend myself, he continued.

"Without having to get all Biblical on you, any mental health professional will tell you that holding on to your anger is a negative. This vendetta you're on can only keep you mired in the misery you've been feeling. I like you and want to see you get better. I don't believe that's going to happen unless you confront your fears. I don't want to sit hear and see you in pain when you have the power to improve things, maybe even get past it."

"I'd like you to think about everything before we talk about another session. I don't know if it would help for us to meet again until you take steps to get control of your life. I would also like to suggest you think about the idea of inviting Jenny to a session. I think you might find it very helpful in finding a way to work through your pain."

I sat there trying to absorb everything he said. I had thoroughly enjoyed our sessions and believed what he said about encouraging me to do what he felt would help me get better. I just couldn't get my head around everything.