Agent Hooters Visits the Doctor Ch. 01

NOTE: I've been a fan of George Tasker's pulpy, over-the-top styled stories. He's kindly given me permission to write a story set in one of his universes, using his Agent Hooter and Agent Slut characters. The gist of the below story came to me in a dream and I felt obliged to write it and flesh it out. But this quick two-parter isn't slowing me down from completing the Six Times a Day series. Thanks a lot, George!

Thoughts are marked with italics. Thanks to DD, Dhin, and OmegaZone for proofreading. This is a very fantastical story and should have no relation to the treatment or behavior of women in real life.

"Sorry, Hooters, that's unacceptable again."

"But Chief, what do you want? How could I possibly dress any more like a whore?"

"That's the problem. You went too far this time. You have to find the right balance. I'm afraid you need more remedial practice. Come here."

Agent Hooters was in the Chief's office. For the past week he'd had her come to work at the intelligence agency dressed like a whore, claiming it was so she could perfect her disguises for when she went undercover. Her undercover assignments almost always had her play the role of a whore, and some male partner, usually fellow agent Jimbo Bond, would play the role of a john. Each day until today the Chief judged that she hadn't dressed sluttishly enough, and she had to make up for it by giving her boss a blow job, so that she, as he put it, "would be more convincing in her undercover slut role."

Tired of blowing her boss every morning, she decided this time to dress as slutty as humanly possible, to finally get the Chief off of her case. So she came in wearing a black leather tank top that was more like a string bikini. The one thin strap of leather that wrapped around her upper torso was so insubstantial that the pink edge of her nipples could just be seen above the top, and her heavy tits hung out on the underside of the top as well. It was more like a thin band of leather covering her nipples, and nothing more. Her matching black leather miniskirt was even worse. It hung low on her hips and on the bottom side it didn't even hide her cunt lips if she bent her legs at all. The Chief had just spent most of his "outfit inspection" fingering those lips while she stood at attention.

She complained, as she unzipped the Chief's pants, "But Chief. How can someone look too much like a whore?"

"Because, Hooters, that outfit is simply unacceptable for undercover work. You wouldn't be able to walk fifty feet down a city street without getting gang raped. You obviously need a lot more practice in knowing the right thing to wear. Hopefully you can make up these deficiencies by further honing your admittedly excellent cocksucking skills. Let's see what you can do."

She sighed, brushed her long blonde hair away from her face, and assumed her usual position between his legs. Her practiced lips got to work doing what they did best.

The Chief sighed with contentment.Aaaah. Now this is a great way to start the morning. How many days in a row have I tricked Hooters into giving me a blow job? I've lost count. And later on I'm going to have to give Agent Slut a literal "dressing down" for her supposed poor performance lately. It's a good thing that Slut heard the expression "dressing down" but didn't know what it meant, heh-heh. The only problem is I'm not getting any younger and I just don't have the physical stamina to fully enjoy the ripe fruits of my two best agents. Agent Bond gets a fair share of tail as well, but that overweight slob is hardly deserving of these two perfect ten babes. With all the lonely men in the world, the woman is too good to keep ALL to myself. I really should spread the wealth.

He thought about all the potential people he could call, men who might enjoy some "attention" from Agent Hooters. The name of an old college friend popped into his head. He picked up the phone. "Hello? Doctor Johnson? I have a special agent here who needs a yearly medical examination. Today is your lucky day."

Beneath his desk, Agent Hooters slurped and sucked as she contemplated the embarrassment of having the wear her nearly non-existent outfit for the rest of the work day. Without a doubt, her fellow agents would poke fun at her, not to mention literally poke at her. Both males and females loved to play with her perfect body. She dearly regretted her choice of clothes and pondered what she could wear tomorrow that would finally satisfy the Chief.

Meanwhile she listened as the Chief talked about some slutty agent who needed a medical check up. Hooters chuckled inside as she sympathized with the unfortunate woman the Chief was describing, never realizing the "ultimate, brain-dead slut" mentioned was herself.

***

A week later Doctor Johnson sat in his office, worried to death about the imminent arrival of a Miss Hooters for her medical examination. He had been repeatedly assured by his friend, the Chief, that nothing could go wrong and that he would have the time of his life if he chose to take full sexual advantage of the "exam."

But the doctor was almost ready to call it off. He was in his fifties, just like the Chief, and while he'd stayed in good shape, he suffered from a weak heart. He peeked out into the lobby for what seemed to be the thousandth time, and saw his receptionist there along with several patients. His receptionist, Rhoda, was a fuddy-duddy woman with a bee hive hairdo and owl shaped glasses. She was older than he was.

He thought,Rhoda is NOT going to like this. And who knows what Debbie will think. That is, if anything happens at all. This "Hooters" woman might not even show up! Maybe the Chief was putting me on? Certainly that was a joke name, wasn't it? He looked at the clock again and chewed on a fingernail.

Debbie was Doctor Johnson's only nurse. She was young and pretty, though not stunningly beautiful like Anna Nicole Smith, a.k.a., Agent Hooters. She also had blonde hair, but it was very short and spiky. The doctor was too embarrassed to tell her what he hoped might happen with Agent Hooters' examination. In fact, he himself didn't know what would happen, though he had many fantasies about the wildest possibilities in the past week. He only knew that Hooters was supposed to be drop-dead gorgeous and dumb as a brick. She would fall for any trick in the book, as all the males in the intelligence agency knew very well.

Doctor Johnson was busy with another patient when Debbie brought him the good news: a Miss Hooters had finally arrived. He couldn't finish his work fast enough, and hurried over to his other examination room to see if this woman was half as gorgeous as the Chief had made her out to be.

He walked into the room where she was sitting and Debbie wordlessly handed him a clipboard. Agent Hooters stood in front of him. The doctor nearly had a heart attack on the spot, because no words could do justice to just how mind-blowingly beautiful his new patient looked. Once his heart resumed beating, he thought to himself,Dear God! She looks EXACTLY like that actress. What's her name? I saw her in that Naked Gun movie. ... Anna Nicole Smith! That's it! Crap. She looks like a perfect double! I've never seen anything like it! I mean, I've seen some sexy people in the movies or on TV, but I have a real flesh and blood GODESS sitting right in front of me!

His heart was beating; pounding actually, and his hands trembled so badly he nearly lost hold of the clipboard he'd been given. He managed to shut his gaping mouth, and walked further into the room, turning away from the bombshell momentarily so he could recover somewhat. Still standing facing the wall, he said, "H-h-hello, umm, Miss Hooters. G-g-g-good d-d-day."

She replied cheerily, "Good day to you, Doctor... uh... um... I know this... Your name..."

"Doctor Johnson," he answered. He turned to her and his eyes nearly bugged out again as he confirmed that, yes, she was really there and really real. He focused on her awe-inspiring tits.

She wore a hot pink tank top that wasn't terribly larger than the leather strap of a top she'd worn for the Chief the week before. She was still trying to "perfect" her undercover whore outfit, and still wound up with the Chief's penis in her mouth every morning for getting some detail or another wrong. The tank top was made out of a nearly see-through mesh that fitted her so tightly one could see the exact outlines of her nipples even when they weren't hard.

His eyes drifted up to her smiling face and he almost felt like he was literally blown back into the wall behind him, such was the power of her gaze. She wasn't in any particularly horny mood, but her standard facial expression was such a "come hither and fuck me" beckoning that he'd never seen the like in his life.

Then he noticed her luscious red lips were moving, and saying words. "...Johnson? Doctor Johnson? Are you okay?"

He eked out an "Um, yeah," as he continued to gobble her up with his eyes. His focus on her face didn't last long as his eyes naturally drifted back down to her protruding chest. His eyes briefly went further and glanced at her tight, blue miniskirt and her sleek, long legs. As if they didn't already show enough skin, the skirt had numerous slits cut in it as if some deranged individual had attached the thin, sleek fabric with a knife, except all the slits were near the bottom of the garment and pointed straight up and down. A couple of them were so close to her bush that he could actually see the edges of it clearly. The doctor had never seen the like. He momentarily pondered how anyone could walk the street in a skirt actually showing pussy hairs without being arrested before getting very far.

His gaze was interrupted by Hooters' voice asking, "Doctor? Are you looking at my slits?"

He looked up guiltily, but then realized with great relief she'd put an "S" at the end of "slit."She didn't mean THAT slit. Phew. That's just about the only thing on her whole body that I CAN'T see directly. At least not yet!

She now looked to be the bashful and guilty one. "I didn't really want to wear that, but my boss made me. It's a long story. It's so unfair!"

He muttered "That's quite alright," and was going to say more to assure her, but then his eyes returned to her tits and his capacity to continue rational thought nearly came to an end.

Agent Hooters stood patiently. She was used to this type of reaction from most men, and a good percentage of women. She was lucky that she had such a sultry face or she never would have made eye contact with men at all. She was relieved that at least he wasn't openly drooling, like many of the men she ran into while shopping, running errands, and the like.

The nurse Debbie still stood in the room as well. She coughed and said, "Doctor? Do you still need me for anything?"

He turned with shock, as he'd forgotten her presence. Then he recovered and said, in a trembling voice, "No, Debbie, thanks. I'll, uh, take it from here."

The door closed and he was left alone with the blonde bombshell secret agent (he knew that she was a secret agent of some sort since she worked for the Chief, but he wasn't supposed to let on that he knew). He waited until he recovered a bit more, and said, "Miss Hooters. Should I call you that? That's a rather, um, unusual name."

Hooters laughed. "Yeah. I get a lot of comments about that. Especially because of these." She hefted her massive knockers with both hands and then let them go. They jiggled and bounced for what seemed like forever.

The doctor's eyes bounced up and down like a dropped ping pong ball slowly coming to a stop. He rubbed his salt and pepper beard in contemplation and continued to gawk. He was like a kid in a candy store - there were so many perfect body parts to look at that he didn't know which one to ogle at next. He thought,God bless you, Chief! You've already made my day. My year! If she's as impressionable as you said, this is going to be the greatest day of my life! Where to begin? I can't imagine that I might actually be TOUCHING this body in a matter of minutes! Dear God! She desperately needs a thorough breast exam! Most thorough!

He nearly spaced out fantasizing, but then he snapped back to his very pleasant reality and sat down. Then he realized he'd rudely left her still standing, and pointed at the examination chair just behind her. "Please sit down, Miss Titters." He didn't even realize he'd gotten her name wrong.

Agent Hooters sat like any woman wearing a pair of pants, except she wasn't wearing pants. The doctor had been able to see her bush through the slits when she was standing - it hadn't registered in his mind that meant she wasn't wearing any panties. But there was no doubt about it now.

The doctor stood staring at her exposed crotch so long that she finally noticed what he was seeing, blushed, and crossed her legs. Again, she apologized. "The Ch-, I mean, my boss, he won't even let me wear any underwear day or night until I perfect my uniform. Not even the G-string type I love so much. Isn't that mean? You should have seen the commotion when I rode on the bus last week."

Doctor Johnson was so aroused he wondered if his penis would burst right through his under shorts AND pants. "I can imagine," he said as he nearly drooled, imagining the bus scene. Again, an uncomfortably long pause followed.

Coughing, he finally looked at the clipboard as if reading her records (he was in no mental condition to actually read) and said as authoritatively as he could muster, "Yes. Now, Miss Slitters, UH!" He both groaned at his mispronunciation and a near climax in his pants. "No. Uh… Miss Hooters. Sorry." He coughed and started again. "Your boss told me that you need a complete medical examination. You must pass all aspects to remain in your current job position. I'm qualified to perform all necessary work, including OB/GYN. So, if all goes well, I'll be able to sign off on all the forms you need by the end of the day."

He was sitting somewhat askew from where she was, so she swung around to face him. Her tits in their light hot pink covering swayed and bounced long after she stopped turning. He was afraid of making the slightest movement for fear that the rubbing of fabric against the tip of his penis could push him over the edge.

She asked with a pinky in the corner of her mouth, "Excuse me, doctor, but what does OB/GYN mean?"

He answered excitedly, "It means gynecological. You know, that means I get to play with your pussy." As soon as those words left his mouth he gasped, because that was what he was thinking but not what he was intending to say. He was so excited that he could barely think straight.

But to his immense relief, she didn't seem to blink an eye at his faux pas. She just replied, "Oh."

Encouraged, he continued in a deep baritone, "Perhaps it's better to say that I will be, uh, examining your pelvic region, including the general, uh, vaginal, uh, zone. I'm fully trained in that type of work." In fact he wasn't, but the Chief had suggested this ploy as an example of the kind of set up Agent Hooters would fall for. "Let's begin. Why don't you take off your clothes and put on one of our hospital gowns?"

Agent Hooters remained unconcerned about his pussy comment (it seemed people were always discussing her private parts). She stood up and started to drop her shorts. But just as the top of her blonde bush came into view, she paused and said, "Doctor, do you have to watch?"

The doctor realized he was more than watching - he was gaping in wonder, and in fact hadn't really stopped blatantly staring since entering the room. He tore his eyes away from her, feigning disinterest, and said, "Miss Hooters, I'll be examining you from head to toe, so there's no reason for modesty. I've seen thousands of naked women over the years." He added to himself,That's true, but I've never seen one that could even hold a candle to you. If my wife looked one tenth as hot as you do, I would be dead from fucking by now.

She found that a reasonable explanation and continued to undress. She was so used to getting naked in front of people that this kind of thing was no big deal. In fact, over the years just about every (male) doctor she ever had insisted on watching her undress during her examinations. None had gone further, aside from the usual groping she constantly faced, as none of them realized just how far she would go.

Doctor Johnson put his hand to his forehead and stroked his balding head. He couldn't believe the new sight before him. Agent Hooters' exposed tits stood out straight and firm, in seeming defiance of the laws of gravity. Her curvy hips drew the eye to her thick blonde bush and pink, juicy lips on view just below. He adjusted his bifocals nervously and counted to ten in his mind to calm his racing heart.

"Now, let us begin your examination," he said excitedly as he drew close and reached for her tits. His weathered hands shook with excitement.

She sat forward in her chair to give him better access but simultaneously complained, "What about my gown?"

"Oh, yes," he recalled, as he groped her mammaries with both hands. "Later. Right now a gown would interfere with my probe of your tits!" He fondled them vigorously for a few seconds, but then some semblance of sense returned to his brain. It occurred to him that a doctor didn't normally say "tits" and didn't normally yank at a patient's nipples as if trying to pull them off. He stilled his hands (though he didn't let go) and said, "Uh, that is to say, I need to thoroughly examine your chest region for signs. I'm very concerned."

"Concerned?" Hooters was now worried, and didn't seem to pay mind to the fact that he was once again groping her tits in a very excited and unprofessional manner.

"Yes," he huffed as his tried to control his breathing. "Concerned. Based on the sheer size of your jugs, I mean your breasts, and given what your boss told me, I have suspicions you may be suffering from a very rare malady."

"What did the Chief tell you? I like a good melody. I can't think of any song that would make me suffer."

"No. Malady. That means disease. The Chief told me that you have an overactive sex drive. He said you could hardly tear your mouth away from his penis every morning."

"That's so untrue!" Hooter pouted. "I've been trying for weeks to stop sucking his cock, but I never get it right. There's always some reason." She meant that she was trying to get her undercover outfit right so she wouldn't have to endure the Chief's blow job punishments, but the doctor misunderstood. Her words reinforced his impression that she simply couldn't resist giving her boss blow jobs.

"You see? An irresistible desire to suck cock, uh, er, to, uh, perform fellatio upon the male sex organ, is one classic symptom of this disease."

"What disease?" Hooters asked with rising concern. "Everyone always says how healthy I am. Especially my lungs. People are always telling me what a healthy set of lungs I have."

"That's true. You certainly have the healthiest body I've ever had the pleasure of groping. Uh! I mean, examining. But I fear you have, uh..." he was fixated on twisting and gawking at her hardened nipples, and found the word "nipplitis" come out of his mouth. "Yes. That's it. You have nipplitis."

"What's that? I've never heard of that." She moaned in involuntary delight as he continued to aggressively fondle her chest.

"Nipplitis, is uh..." Doctor Johnson drew from some of his more outlandish fantasies he'd had for the past week since his conversation with the Chief. "It's, uh, basically, it's having too much female hormones in your body. Your sexuality is all in overdrive. That's why you have such huge tits, wide and shapely hips, and pouty, kissable lips. That's why you have such a high sex drive. Within reason, it's not a problem, and in fact it can be a very pleasant condition, if you enjoy sex. But if left untreated for years, you can become so sexual that you will in fact slowly go insane."