All In

"That felt sooo good!" she moaned. "Mmmm! I love this so much!"

"I love doing it to you," he told her during a brief pause. "You taste so good, baby."

Cole worked her hard with his tongue then gently added a finger and Erin flinched so hard he thought she might have broken his neck.

Erin heard him grunt in pain and suddenly stopped everything. She sat up and said, "Oh, my God! I'm so sorry! Are you okay?"

Cole turned his neck from side to side and said, "I...think so."

He sat up and looked at her before asking, "Did I hurt you or something?"

The happy smile was gone from her face and in its place was a look of despair. "No. You didn't...hurt me," she said without looking at him.

He sat next to her and put his arm around her but she didn't respond. "What's wrong, Erin? What's going on here?"

"I'm not sure I can talk about it," she said quietly. "This wasn't a good idea, Cole. I could never make you happy. I could never...satisfy you."

"Erin? Please talk to me. Things were going so well and then... I feel like this is somehow my fault and hurting you is the last thing I'd ever want to do."

"Do you mind if I get dressed?" she asked.

"No, of course not," he told her thinking she was on the verge of walking out.

Erin retrieved her panties and pulled her pants back on then sat on the edge of the bed with her back to him. He put his hand on her shoulder but she pulled away and said, "Please don't, okay?" She sat there silently for several moments then said, "I've never told anyone else about this so you have to promise me you won't tell anyone. Ever. Especially not Kendra."

Cole sat up straight and said, "You have my word, Erin." He didn't try to touch her again, he just sat there and listened.

"After I graduated from high school my dad sent me to live with my uncle. My mom died when I was little and my father became an alcoholic. It got so bad my senior year he had to be put in rehab involuntarily. But it didn't take and right after I got my diploma it got so bad again my uncle took me in. You have to understand I was very shy and I'd never done anything with a boy except for kissing and even that had only happened twice."

There was another long pause when Cole said, "Go ahead. It's safe and it's okay. I'm listening, Erin. Please keep talking."

"I remember having tea with him one evening and the next thing I knew I was in bed and I hurt so bad...down there."

"Oh, my God. Did he...?"

"Yes. At least I believe he did. There was blood and the pain and..."

Cole slid over next to her but didn't touch her. "Oh, Erin. I am SO sorry. So that's why you..."

"Yes. I just freaked out when your finger..."

"It's okay. I understand now."

"I've never been with a man before, Cole. I've never even been this far. I...I want to." She turned slightly toward him and said, "I really do like you—a lot. You make me feel safe and I'm happy when I'm with you. I just don't know if I could ever...you know."

He went to put his arm around and asked, "Do you mind?"

She shook her head so he lowered his arm and held her. "I have a kind of secret myself. Something I never told anyone, not even my wife. I mean, lots of people know it, but they're all guys and all in my past."

Erin was holding her breath during the pause. Without moving she asked him, "Are you...gay? If you are, I won't say a word to..."

"No. No, I'm not gay, Erin. I like women. A lot." Erin laughed quietly so he continued talking. "I like you a lot, too, by the way," he said. She reached up and held his hand as he said, "I was secretly happy you agreed to let me keep my pants on when we...you know..."

"I don't understand," she said. "You're straight, you like me, and yet you wanted to stay dressed?"

"Well...yes and no. I mean, I didn't want to stay dressed." He stroked her hair and said, "Honestly? I wanted to make love with you so bad it hurt. I mean, you're so beautiful and so desirable."

Erin exhaled hard enough that it sounded like a mild snort. "Right. Me with my curveless, boobless body. That's just really desirable, huh?"

"What? Erin, are you kidding? I don't care what your cup size is. Oh, my goodness. How could you even think that? You're so much more than that. In fact, that's meaningless to me. I'm attracted to you—not your chest."

"I guess that's a good thing," she said managing to smile again. "Otherwise, you'd be very disappointed. You must not be a 'butt guy' either because it's as flat as my chest."

"Wow. You aren't seeing the same woman I'm seeing. The one I'm sitting next to is as beautiful as anyone I've ever known. I meant it when I said you're smart. You're so easy to talk to and I love being around you. I don't need 'booty' or 'boobs'. I just need...you."

"You see, this is why I like you so much, Cole. You're the only man who's ever made me believe he thinks I'm pretty. When I'm with you, that's how I feel. And I feel safe. I just wasn't ready for...that."

"Then we'll take our time, okay? We don't have to hurry. I promise."

She looked over at him and said, "You're the nicest, sweetest...cutest man I've ever known, Cole." She kissed him then said, "Somehow this got all turned around back onto me. You never finished what you were trying to tell me. I'm glad you said all those other things, though. I really needed to hear them." She kissed him again and said, "Thank you for being so sweet and so understanding. Now you go ahead. I'm listening."

"Oh, right," he said before sighing loudly. "This is just so damn embarrassing."

"More embarrassing than being boobless or buttless?" she said with a smile and a small laugh.

"For me it is," he said without looking at her.

She laid her head on his shoulders and said, "I want you to be able to trust me, Cole. I want you to be able to tell me anything. Anything at all."

"Okay. Here goes," he said exhaling loudly again. He spent the next couple of minutes explaining his greatest fear from the nicknames to the embarrassment to Sharon being the only woman who'd ever seen him undressed.

"Wow, that was very brave of you, Cole," she said when he finished. She pulled one leg up on the bed and turned toward him. "I have these huge body issues of my own and the fear of having sex because of what happened to me. But you told me you don't care what size my boobs are or how not really having a butt to speak of doesn't matter. I've been so embarrassed about all of this I've never even been able to talk to anyone about it. At least not until I met you. You didn't judge me and in fact, you made me feel...desirable for the first time in life. So you have to believe me and trust me when I tell you I don't care how big you are...down there."

She took his hand in hers and said, "Cole? Like your wife, I've never even seen a man undressed. Whatever happened to me happened at night in the dark when I was unconscious. I've never even been undressed with a man before tonight. I've never once taken my top off and this was the first time for...you know. So I don't know—or care—what big is or isn't. I just know I've been afraid of having sex, let alone making love with a man, ever since. But I'm willing to try...with you...if you're still interested."

Cole finally turned toward her and said, "IF I'm still interested? Erin, I am beyond interested in you. I'm...I'm feeling things I haven't felt in so long I'd forgotten what they feel like. I can't stop thinking about you and when I'm with you I can't stop looking at you and when I look at you...I can't stop wanting you."

He kissed her and it lasted for a very long time before she said, "Then...could we please try..."

Erin yelped when she heard the knock on the door. "Dad? Hey, it's me. Are you in there?"

"Oh, my God!" Erin said in a loud whisper. "What are we going to do?"

"Stay calm," he said. "Hold on, honey. I'll be right there," he called out to his daughter. He grabbed his shirt and kicked his tee-shirt under the bed, quickly tucked everything in before hand-smoothing his hair and glancing at Erin who'd moved to a chair on the other side of the room and smoother her hair as well.

Cole looked at the bed and panicked. He tugged at the comforter and got most of the obvious wrinkles out then went to the door and opened it. "Hey, there! What a nice surprise!"

Kendra came in saw Erin and said, "Well, well. Look at you two up her all alone." She saw Erin's face and started laughing. "As IF!" she said quoting Cher Horowitz from the movie Clueless. Then she took a second look at Erin and said, "Jared told me about the contacts, but I had to see it to believe it. Wow! You look hot, girl!" Kendra turned to her dad and said, "Doesn't she look great?"

Cole cleared his throat and said, "Um, right. Yeah, she looks really nice."

"And you're hair is down and you're not wearing brown or black What gives?" Kendra narrowed her eyes and put her hands on her hips as she looked at Erin, "You know, if I didn't know you as well as I do, I'd be wondering if there wasn't something going on with you two."

Erin's look of concern looked closer to horror as Kendra laughed as she said again, "As IF!"

Cole stepped between them and said to Kendra, "You're obviously feeling better."

"Finally," she said plopping down on the bed. "I'm never doing that again."

Cole winked at Erin who smiled weakly at him. "Yeah, that's what all say, Kendra-Kins."

He sat next to her and said, "What brings you here at this time of night?"

"It's not that late!" she said defensively. "I knew Erin would be needing a ride home so I thought I'd pop in and surprise you."

"Well, you sure did that, honey," he said looking again at Erin for the briefest of moments.

"Hey, girl. We probably should let my dad get some rest before his big day tomorrow."

"Oh, right," Erin said standing up and looking for her purse. "It is getting late."

Kendra laughed and said, "Oh, Lord. Not you, too? What is it with you old people and going to bed early?"

Cole reminded her he'd been up all night the night before and Kendra said, "I'm just bustin' your chops, Dad. You're actually pretty cool for an old guy. Right, Erin?"

Erin grabbed her purse which was on the floor next to the bed. She was grateful she didn't blush as she picked it up from some place it had no business being. "Yeah, your dad's pretty cool."

Kendra and Cole also stood up and Kendra said, "Okay, I'll be here in the morning and one of us and/or Jared will be here too, rooting you on the whole time."

"Oh, you don't have to do that, Ken. There are going to be hundreds of players on dozens of tables and you won't really even be able to see me."

"Nonsense!" she said. "We're gonna be your cheer leaders, right E?"

"Um...definitely. I'll stop by after I get off work, too."

"See? You have groupies, Dad!"

"Okay. Sounds great. Let's just hope I don't get knocked out on Day 1, right?"

"Never gonna happen, Dadster," Kendra told him. "You're gonna make it to the last table!"

"You mean 'final' table?" he asked clarifying her remark.

"Last, final, whatever. Just keep thinking: Big bucks! No Whammies, okay?" She hugged her dad and told Erin, "Let's roll, girl!"

Kendra was two steps out the door and Erin paused for a brief moment to say, "Maybe tomorrow night?" with a hopeful smile.

"Definitely tomorrow night," he said.

"See you then, okay? And thank you for tonight."

"You, too. I'll be watching for you...and thinking about you."

"Erin? Let's go already. Old people need their sleep," Kendra said as she came back to see what the hold up was about.

"Okay, okay. I'm coming!" she said. Kendra went back out first and Erin quickly blew him an air kiss which he pretended to catch as he smiled at her on the way out.

Cole wasn't much of a drinker but he grabbed a Scotch out of the mini bar and downed it in one gulp. "Damn!" he said out loud as the yellow liquid burned his throat. The exclamation was as much for his excitement and disbelief about what just happened as it was for the disappointment of nothing else having happened.

Unable to sleep, he went back down to the gym and wore himself out before taking another long shower and um...taking care of business in the shower. He realized as his hand covered his entire maleness that for the first time in his life he didn't feel ashamed or even self-conscious. At the same time he realized his feelings for Erin went a lot deeper than just liking her.

Cole was up early, worked out again, showered, had breakfast with Kendra before getting in line to draw his seat assignment and pick up his initial stack of chips. All players were starting out with 50,000 and he would playing at Table 9, Seat #3.

Cole saw quite a few players who were very well-known within the poker world and several of them had numerous bracelets, the ultimate prize for winning a major tournament. All of the other players had paid for their seats at $10,000 a pop while his had come free of charge thanks to his on-line win.

His palms were sweaty as the dealer dealt the first pair of hole cards and as Cole lifted up the corners to see them, his heart pounded harder when he saw Ace-King, the best non-paired starting hand in Hold 'Em. The first two players folded while Cole put in a good-sized bet. Everyone else folded until it got to the last guy in the Big Blind (the small and big blinds are seats which change each hand and the person in them must put chips in the pot before the hand starts or—in the blind.)

The Big Blind raised him and Cole re-raised or three-bet. The Big Blind went all in and Cole immediately called. He felt sick when his opponent turned over a pair of Kings meaning he was already way ahead of him. Cole would have to hit an ace or put together a straight or a flush to win and they hadn't even got to the Flop yet. The Flop was the first three cards the dealer turned over after the initial round of betting. All remaining players used the cards in the Flop to make the best hand possible. Had they not both gone 'all-in' putting all 50,000 in the pot, there would be another round of betting followed by the 'turn' or fourth card turned over, then another round of betting followed by the fifth and final community card called the 'river.'

Cole held his breath as the Flop came: Queen, Jack, 7. No help so far but he at least had a chance to make a straight, but so did his opponent. There were just two cards left to make a winning hand or he was out on the very first hand. He now needed a 10 or an ace to wind the pot. He looked up and saw his face on one of the closed-circuit TV cameras which then showed his opponent.

The dealer said, "The Turn," and flipped over the fourth card. It was a meaningless 3 and Cole was already down to one card for his tournament life. The Big Blind reached over and offered his hand and said, "Good luck!"

Cole heard Kendra call out from about 50 feet away, "Good luck, Dad!" He waved to her then waited.

"The River," the dealer said. Cole closed one eye as the card turned over and when he saw the ace of spades, it didn't register even when the Big Blind loudly said, "Shit!" while the rest of table got loud.

"Nice suck-out, Cole! That's your 'one-time', buddy!" Poker players often said, "Come on. Just this one time!" all the time when they needed a specific card to win. Cole hit his 'one time' early but would need many more of them to stay in running.

Cole had indeed sucked out catching one of only two winning cards on the river. But suck outs count in poker and he finally exhaled as all of the chips on the table were pushed toward him. "Way to go, Dad!" he heard his daughter say. He smiled as he stacked the other man's chips who shook Cole's hand again before walking away in disgust.

For the rest of the day, his chip stack went up and down and by the time they took a break for dinner, he was holding just over 74,000 chips.

He sat down at a table with Kendra when he looked up and almost choked on his food.

Kendra saw her, too, and said, "Dang, girl! You got some kind of date after the tournament or something?"

Erin smiled and said, "Or something."

Cole stood up and helped her sit down and said, "Wow. You look amazing."

"Thank you," she said as she sat her clutch in the seat next to her.

Erin was wearing a white, sleeveless, mock-neck bodycon dress that was very low-cut in the back with a long slit in the front. She was also wearing a pair of 4-inch heels that were round open-toe dress sandals with ankle straps, but her look didn't stop there. She'd also fully done her makeup, something else Kendra had never seen and the difference from two days ago was stunning. A pair of silver earrings dangled from her ears with the teardrops matching a pendant around her neck.

"So what the hell?" Kendra asked. "Who's the guy?"

"Can't a girl get dressed up? This is Las Vegas, after all."

Kendra rolled her eyes while Cole said, "I think you look amazing."

Erin looked at Cole and said, "Well, thank you, Cole. At least one of you isn't being rude."

They both looked at Kendra who said defensively, "What already? This is just so out of character for Erin. That's all. Sheesh!" Erin smiled at her and Kendra said, "You do look hot so...who is this guy? Anyone I know?"

"Maybe," Erin said coyly.

"Oh! I know who it is. It's that cute pilot Jared knows. What's his name? Captain...Phillips maybe? Yeah, that's who it is, huh?"

"No, I don't go out with officers. That's just a recipe for disaster," Erin said smiling at Cole.

"Okay, I'm texting Jared. He'll tell me who it is."

"I've got to get back to the poker room, ladies. So I'll leave you two to argue about who the lucky guy is, okay?"

"Oh, he's gonna be very lucky," Erin said with a smile.

"You did not just say that!" Kendra said. "Okay? Where is my real friend and what have you done with her?"

As Cole walked by her, Erin ever-so carefully touched his hand while Kendra's head was buried in her phone. "Good luck, Cole," she said as he went passed. "We'll be in to root you on in a few minutes."

"Seriously?" Kendra said. "I've been sitting here ALL day bored out of my mind. I love my dad, but this is insane. I'm not going back in there again. Hey, let's go do something!"

Erin was looking toward the poker room and said, "No, thanks. I promised your dad I'd be there for him," not telling Kendra she meant in more ways than one.

"Suit yourself but I'm outta here. You can sit there and watch paint dry. I mean, talk about boring. It takes like twenty minutes to play a hand. I almost fell asleep a couple of times. Thank God for iPods and cell phones, you know?"

"Patience is a virtue, right?" Erin said playfully.

"Yeah, whatever," Kendra said. "I'm leaving. Last chance."

"You go on ahead. I'll be okay."

"Your call. See you tomorrow then?"

"Yep. See you then," Erin told her as they both stood up; Kendra to leave and Erin to follow Cole.

She loved the looks she was getting from guys of all ages as she made her way inside. No one seemed to notice she was braless let alone there was nothing to in a bra were she wearing one. "Maybe Cole is right," she thought to herself as a guy her age told her she looked hot.

She thanked him but Erin wasn't interested in guys her age. In fact, she was only interested in one guy and if she um...played her cards right...he was going to officially make a woman out of her later that night, and Erin couldn't wait.

The tournament started again at 7pm and to her Erin's surprise ended at nine.

Cole counted out his chips along with a tournament official then bagged them and wrote the amount on the clear, plastic bag. 64,318. Not bad for Day 1. About 30% of those who began the day were already gone. If he could hold for another day, he had a real chance of cashing. Just making it through the first day was quite an accomplishment and as happy as he was with that, there was something he was looking forward to even more than a paycheck.