Amateur

{This doesn't fit in any category, most of what I write doesn't seem to. So, since my wife Debs is involved, "loving wives" it is.

Is there any truth to this? You figure that out, I did ask Sherry if I could write it and she laughed and told me "Sure, as long as you don't mention my real name."

So. "Sherry" it is. I would change Debra's and my own name also but too late now I guess.}

+++

"Well, just crap!" I told my wife Debra as soon as July left.

Debs already knew, so she knew what I was unhappy about.

I better go back a bit here. My wife Debra is a Registered Nurse Practitioner, she more or less runs the local health clinic everyone in our tiny coastal town goes to.

The clinic specializes in Geriatrics, but they see everyone except for kids. By everyone, I do mean everyone, too, because the next clinic available is a 65 mile drive up the coast.

That is a nasty drive, too, at night the tail lights you are following are your own.

Anyway, my wife Debs is best described as liberal, I will say here that if every man had a wife like mine the divorce rate would be zero.

To Debra, life is about having fun and enjoying it, one of her delights is figuring out some way to make my now 69 year old body act like it's 25 again and she gets damned close to that regular as clockwork.

With her having almost no inhibitions, it does not bother her one bit that July does lots of things way beyond the norm of the medical field, to her that is not only fun, pleasure being a part of life, but also helpful to old men like me.

And she loves me, that is obvious.

A few times I did question her about what goes on down at her clinic, her answer has always been the same.

"If we don't do SOMETHING, you old farts will sit at home and die!" She says, usually with a titter.

"Sexuality is a part of life!" Is her other regular comment. I am fairly sure that her antics in the medical office really has resulted in her getting a client into her office that otherwise would not even go.

More than once that means she catches something else going on, and she extends a life now and then.

Like the lump the size of an Acorn she found in Henry Dahl's left testicle, the one he thought was a cyst and had been trying to pop? She ordered him to a Urologist, where they removed that and found it was not benign.

Old Henry Dahl lost all of his hair over the next few months but he still drives that huge Garbage truck.

That one I know about because some flowers arrived one day, expensive ones. I asked Debs what all of that was about, she told me about Henry.

"But the other one still works just fine, I saw his wife Harriet a couple of weeks ago and she told me!" Debs grinned at me.

Debra isn't supposed to talk about what all happens in her clinic but she does. She knows I can keep my mouth shut.

So I know she does things like sit in her little chair and inspect her customer's stuff, which is a good part of why the waiting room is nearly always full of white haired old guys like me.

Every single one is a story.

Early on I have to say I didn't believe it all, but now I do.

Combine that with her loving me totally and completely and that is my Debs. Like I said, if you women want to eliminate the divorce rate, be more like Debra. But sadly, I have never known anyone with an attitude like hers.

In the process of learning how she is, it changed me too.

+++

How in the hell did I manage to catch a female like this, one that loves me totally and completely?

Well, when we met she made me take off my pants and underwear, grabbed my wienie and inspected it stem to stern.

"Drop your pants, I want to look at your penis." Was word for word what she said that day.

I did, and she did.

Then she turned me over and probed me. That was not the typical in and back out, strip off the glove and say "everything appears OK" like I have had Doctors do before with great reluctance.

Nope. She was in there for a solid two-three minutes, at first I had the usual revulsion at having that procedure done, then that changed into something else entirely.

Up it came, I almost made a mess. Hell, I was beginning to wonder if this was what it was like to be gay?

I really did my very best to not have a reaction and failed rather miserably. That didn't faze her one bit, in fact it became quite clear that she enjoyed that.

"Hmmmm. Feels a little puffy in there, but I see you react nicely." She stripped off the glove, handed me a little cup.

Then down the hall she sent me to a tiny room, sperm sample, she told me. It's a good thing she did say that or she would have gotten a cup of something else.

I admit that embarrassed the hell out of me also, so much so that it couldn't be done. Think about that, a 65 year old sitting in a tiny little room trying to jack off into a paper cup while outside there are a bunch of people, all strangers?

Can't be done.

There was a knock after perhaps ten minutes, in pops Jennifer, one of the other nurses on staff. She grabbed me with a latex glove covered hand, had the sample and was back out the door before I could do anything and I have no idea at all how she did that so fast.

Then it was back down the hall where Debra discussed my Prostate and how that affected erections and all of that, she might as well have been talking about baking a cake.

She probably had done that to a couple of thousand other men, I was the guy that won the lottery there.

For some reason she liked me and decided to get me.

Why I am not completely sure, I do know she also found my stories and somehow figured out it was me writing them.

Mine I think are tame compared to most. I guess I also tend to describe things around, real stuff.

What are the odds, anyway? I mean I do describe my big Dodge truck, everyone sees me headed for the jetty to go fishing, the locals know about the "best yard" contest and the fat ass Sea Lions that get in the way and won't move and the stupid city council that wants to spend 300 grand to build them a dock to lay on?

Fucking Sea Lions have been laying on rocks for hundreds of thousands of years and we have to spend taxpayer dollars to build them a fucking dock?

It's a wonder they don't include pillows for them.

Yea, anyway, one could add two and two together and come up with just maybe the guy that writes that crap is white haired old me?

I do know Debra reads erotic stories herself, usually giggling but every once in awhile she will read one that sets her off.

Anyway, on another office visit I got the same procedure except no sperm sample this time. She read the report on that, I didn't know medical even did reports on that. That was also the day I got the "Sexuality is a normal and healthy part of life." line for the first time.

"You don't have a partner, do you?" Debra asked me.

"No, not since my wife Dotty passed away."

"I see. You should have one, you know." She grinned at me.

"Hell, I am 65 years old, nobody is interested in someone like me." I told her.

"Oh, don't be too sure. With a pretty cock like yours, I would think most women would be interested." She smirked.

That's what this lady Doctor sat in the room with me and said.

"Pretty cock like yours.".....???

Nobody ever believes me whan I mention that, so usually I don't.

Then the conversation changed and got one hell of a lot more personal.

Next thing I knew we were out on a date and right behind that she was checking out my sexual prowess. We got to her house and Debs took my hand and led me inside, we kissed a few times and it was clear quickly she wanted to have some sex.

So we did, and man, do I mean we did! My life had gotten to the point where even at home I only got about half way hard during my private moments.

Debra turned me into the man of steel. Not just once, but twice and a third time I got perhaps 75% there.

By morning there was no doubt at all, Debra had captured me and I belonged to her.

Things like that just do not happen to men in their sixties, but it did to me. Debra just decided and she went for it. If you knew her, you would understand, because if she wants something, she gets it.

It had been maybe a decade for me since my wife Dotty passed, and close to that for Debs. No sex for me at all during that time, same for Debs except for once. I know she is not lying to me about that, either, she has no reason to.

Like I said, if all women were like my Debra, no one would ever get divorced.

Four years now, hardly a week goes by that there isn't some surprise. For some crazy reason, just the fact that Debra is around seems to attract what I call incidents.

No panties on under Deb's skirt down in Reno, then sitting there sewing up a top with her boobs bare, two guys across the way watching.

A maid caught us screwing like kids on the carpet in our hotel room. That was just our honeymoon. I wrote and posted some of it here.

Rambling again, huh? Oh well.

+++

Anyway, I was unhappy. Our friend July who drops by maybe twice a month to give us massages was quitting.

July gives dandy massages, she is not only wonderful at it, she is uninhibited too and can do anything she wants to since she is a Registered Nurse herself.

Which is cool, she can touch anything she wants to, do about anything she wants to and there is nothing the blue noses at the Oregon Massage board can do about it.

Yep, Registered Nurse. Well, she used to be, anyway.

I found out why she not only worked at the clinic up the coast as a nurse but went out and gave massages in the evenings.

She was using the extra money for night school.

Now she had her PHD, our friend July was a full fledged Doctor! It took her over a decade to get her degree, and guess what?

July was the new administrator of the very clinic she used to be just a Nurse at? The one 65 miles away up the coast.

Which meant no more massages for Debs and I.

OK. So I was pouting.

"Sorry, honey. Maybe we can find someone else?" Debs patted me on the shoulder.

Small town on the Oregon coast? Fat chance of that. There is not exactly a wealth of talent to choose from around here. If you need boots you go see old man Vidalis, food is Safeway or Freddie's, gasoline it doesn't matter since they are all the same price and 30 cents a gallon higher than in the valley 60 miles away.

Way it is.

What the hell, we would live but the truth is I liked it when July came over. July is a nice looking lady, she is similar to Debs in that she has no inhibitions at all as I found out the first time when she was helping me with my Prostate issues.

Regular orgasms as it turns out, are extremely helpful to old men who struggle with the issue.

My Debra understands and so does July, the fact that it feels good is simply a normal side effect to them.

OK. So we were cheating a little bit, Debra certainly gives me regular orgasms, so July became....Yea, I know. Some of you will say July is a prostitute, but July never once took off any clothing.

She is also our friend, and she also works on Debs regular as clockwork.

July really did manage amazing results with my urine flow problems. At one point, she told me that I didn't need her services any more, but Debs talked her into coming by anyway.

God I love my wife!

Those are real concerns for many men, any of you men who have that know exactly what I mean. If the person offering the service knows what they are doing, the difference is amazing.

And it sure as hell beats the 3/4" garden hose they shove up a man's pecker to let the urine out. Fucking nurses appear to delight in doing that procedure, some kind of revenge against a world centered on men I guess.

I had that done just once and I will do anything, I mean anything to avoid that again.

Oh well, life goes on. I was happy for our friend July and her success, plus she and Debs would be in contact from time to time, since certain patients would be getting referred back and forth.

+++

It was maybe two or three weeks later, I was sitting in front of my PC printing out an online sale, I dabble in that now for some extra cash.

It used to be just Social Security for me but $934 a month doesn't go far, and government has no money at all that isn't Chinese so they tell us we don't get any COLA raises, or if we do it is so small it's a joke.

I actually hit the point where I was making around three grand a month online but that started to become work so I eased up on that. It did let me stuff some cash in the bank though. If I was much younger I would have gone for it, I am sure in the modern world anyone who knows the ropes and plays the game fairly with a good product line can make a fortune.

People in Russia and Sweden, Australia, Germany all buy things, and they are right there, in easy reach now for anyone who takes the time to make an effort.

+++

For some reason I wandered over to one of the advertising websites, I spotted the "therapeutic" section and got an idea.

People who do massage work advertise.

There were just two ads in our area for people who do massages, both of them were men looking for men clients.

Not my thing, that.

I was about ready to close the screen when I got another idea!

"Hey, Debs!" I called out to her, she was in the kitchen making some bread from Banana squash pulp and chocolate, trail mix blended into it. She also adds M&M's, those melt when the bread is baked and spread out and...

There I go again, rambling, sorry.

"What, honey?" She came out licking her fingers. There was a streak of the goo she was mixing up on her forehead.

"How about me running an ad, maybe I can find someone like July?" I asked.

"Sure, why not? I guess you didn't like that last one?"

I had booked with some woman named Teresa, she turned out to be 300 pounds and bashful. I got my feet rubbed and my head rubbed, the middle pretty much ignored plus I had to drive over there and my truck takes ten bucks worth of diesel just to get it started.

"What do I say in the ad?" I asked her.

"Let's see. How about 'perverted old coot wants sweet young thing to probe his Prostate while'...? Debs giggled and headed back towards the kitchen.

"Brat!" I called after her.

Hmmmm.....

"Grandfatherly type needs therapist experienced in massage to assist with mild medical condition." I typed.

Then like a dummy, I posted that.

"Strictly Platonic" the section was. It was either that or kinky stuff. There was a section called "romance" but I didn't think that fit the situation.

Lord.

The first reply had a link to a photo, I clicked on that and there was some 20 year old oriental gal, stark naked.

Roughly 40 replies just like that and I was fed up, so I just started deleting those. I even went over to try and delete my ad but I forgot the password I used to sign up with. I even clicked on the "forgot my password" link but it didn't work.

Sometimes I hate the internet.

Then the "Are you real?" email arrived. I almost deleted that too, but it looked different.

I opened it, the email appeared real but by then I was suspicious. What the hell, I typed a short reply.

Almost instantly I got one back. The spy bots that respond to every online ad posted don't reply right back, that much I know for sure so SOMEONE was on the other end.

She said her name was Sherry, she worked in a spa I knew was local and business was really tight so she was looking for a few clients.

"I don't have a license, so it has to be private." She wrote.

Still suspicious, thinking the odds were high that this was some hairy old guy playing games, or at best just a hooker, I took a chance.

I wrote back, explaining I was looking for a nice body massage, that we had our own table and oils, sheets, things like that. I put in the "sheets" part to ease her mind in case it really was a her on the other end of the email. With July I never bothered with a sheet.

I already knew I wasn't going to be able to bill Medicare like I did with July, either. (Yea, I know, but hey. They give me $934.00 a month after I paid into the system for 45 years. If I had invested that wisely in the stock market, even with the periodic disasters government creates, I would be getting way more money.)

I guess the "wisely" part figures into that, though.

That didn't matter, I was making a few bucks online now so I could afford it.

Anyway, I offered her $70 an hour, the going rate locally. She emailed back that that was fine, but she wanted to meet first?

What the hell was this, it wasn't a date? Oh well, a female and someone from the internet, I understood.

I pulled up in front of Starbucks, the one with the deck out front facing the street. Nice and public, hard for a serial killer to grab someone and cart them off from there without getting caught.

There sat a nice looking lady that was maybe 40 or so. Sure enough, it was Sherry. Long flowing hair dyed dark red, pretty in a way.

She looked me up and down, smiled so I guess I didn't appear to be the serial killer she expected.

Just a nice old Grandpa type, that's me.

"I have never really done a full massage before, at the spa I do the wraps and herbal baths, they won't let me work on people since I don't have a license. Well, I do arms and legs and things like that." Sherry told me once the initial nervousness had passed.

"But I used to work on my Mom and Dad, and I have gotten massages myself so I think I know what to do." She added quickly.

"I see." I said. I guess I have to admit I was hesitant.

"And if I am not doing anything right all you have to do is tell me." Now she was sounding like she was interested.

My Debra is certainly liberal, but what was she going to say if I showed up with some sweet young thing she had never met, then headed off to our spare room for a body rubdown?

I hadn't told her yet that I had made a contact.

But being one of those guys that is full of courage, I made an appointment with Sherry, explaining to her that my wife would be home so she had nothing to worry about.

"$70.00, right?" Sherry beamed at me.

I nodded, headed home.

+++

"Ok, honey. Fine with me." Debs told me when I explained.

OK. Got through that part. But I did have some reservations, since I had no idea at all what I had here.

Still, not much different than going to someone's office, I guess.

+++

Debra answered when Sherry arrived and knocked on the door. I went in to shower and get ready while the two of them sat out in our living room and chatted.

When I got done with my shower and was drying myself off, I could hear the two of them out there cackling, they were clearly having a hen party.

Debs is totally used to dealing with people, they come into her office concerned about something and all fussed up and nervous. Give Debra 30 seconds and they are at ease, it is just the way she is.

I put on my robe and went out there, the two of them were eating Debra's Banana squash bread and drinking wine.

They both looked up at me and instantly stopped talking. Sherry almost instantly blushed. I had a feeling that I had been the subject of the conversation.

"Hey, don't go getting my new therapist in the bag." I laughed.

Debs just smirked at me.

"Go ahead and get ready, sir. I will be in in just a minute." Sherry gave me a big smile.

"Sir", huh?

"And thank you for being normal." She added.

"Normal?" Me? Well, maybe I am compared to what I read here on this website.

I went in and got onto the table, pulled the top sheet up over me. I could hear the buzz of their voices in the living room, with a few sprinkles of giggles. I lay there for what seemed to be a long time, so long I actually dozed off.

Hands woke me up, Sherry was working on my shoulders. I realized instantly that if this lady was an unlicensed amateur, she was the best one I ever ran into. It didn't take but a few minutes and I began to relax.