An Arrangement of Sorts Ch. 01

Because he didn't.

Julie told him plenty, though. She could ride any man for all that he was worth, suck his dollars away faster than she could take his semen and be gone without a thought once it was all gone. Julie could do that without blinking – other than the planning of it, but to her, Moreth was the itch that wouldn't stay scratched. It drove her nuts and she took it out on him every time.

Just when he thought that maybe there was a chance that they might really have something between them that resembled a normal love relationship, she'd turn and seethe at him. She'd carve through those stupid heartfelt notions that he had and she'd head right on down to his heart, opening new wounds on top of the old ones and pissing into them to make sure that it hurt just the right way.

But things had changed, at least for him. He was finally over her and he intended to keep it that way.

"Hey," she said, smiling a little hopefully, "what made you smile just then?"

He knew where she was going with this and grinned a little. "I was just thinking about what you said, and it made me recall that time when you had me up against the wall in that old house in Waco. You just threw me, since I didn't even know that you were there, and the next thing I knew, my pants were down and you were climbing up on me. I had no idea that my body could react that fast."

"Well, "she said softly, "I saw you coming and I guess I just laid in wait for the man I needed, the only one who's ever – "

"Watched while you looked him in the eye and told him that you hated him and wished to God that he was dead while you were fucking him?" Moreth interrupted with a smirk, "The only thing that you've never done is spit in my face then. I kept waiting for it. It didn't do a lot to make me feel very romantic, since it usually happened just around the time that I'd get stupid about you all over again. I know you'd never be able to know how it feels to have words like that thrown at you at a time like that, but I can say that I really can't recommend it as a hobby.

It took me a long time to figure out that you were still just using me, just in a more immediate sort of way, but it was still just what you needed. I was always just good old Chris, the fool who'd do anything just to live the illusion that he might really have your love one of those times. You might look back on that time as a warm memory, but I had to get a tetanus shot for the hole that the nail sticking out of the wall put into my back."

"Yeah well," she smiled remembering, "We always were way too long on passion."

He wanted to point out just what they'd been way too short on, but that would have meant facing the truth, which was that he'd been hurting over his want of her for most of his adult life.

"Anyway," she said, with a glance at the man again that lasted only milliseconds, "I've gotten some papers drawn up concerning what I want."

Chris Moreth could have laughed then. Not for what she'd said, but he knew that inside her wonderful, if selfish and scheming brain, she'd just gone from 'acquisition' to 'ranging' and from 'ranging' to 'target lock' in one instant.

He took it as something of a seminal moment in the life of a man when he can finally watch his wife do that and know it for what it is.

Moreth grinned, "I was just going to say that you look absolutely beautiful, as you have to me since the very first moment that I ever saw you, meaning every word, and then I was going to plead with you that we might get back together again. You know, really try it for once, like that time that you pulled that shit line on me years ago just when I thought I was getting someplace in forgetting you. You had me really believing in you that time, too. I was even surprised when I woke up the next day and you were gone again. But then I've always been your fool. The only difference is that I really meant it then.

Anyway, if it worked out well and if you'd agreed, I was going to ask you what you had in mind for lunch before we walked away hand-in-hand to finally do this right between us. But hey, if it's all just business here today, well, I guess that we can just head straight into telling each other to fuck off. We've always been awesome at that part of our relationship."

She looked a little shocked, "My God, you – you're serious, aren't you? You really were thinking that. That's so sweet, Chris."

She actually looked as though the thought had rocked her back on her heels. The trouble was, and he knew it full well, that there was just about an even chance that she'd laugh in his face within the next four seconds.

He'd been right here before. The way that had felt each time was like carving his own chest with a steak knife.

"Listen," she said sweetly as she shifted gears effortlessly, thinking that he just might be serious and that she wouldn't need to talk him into anything other than a bed, "you know that I still want you, Chris. There's never been anybody else who's even come close to the way that you love me, and I know that it's the same way with you about me. I'm just surprised, that's all, even though I really shouldn't be. You're just such a great guy, even all this time later. I think that I really like the idea."

The sad part was that it was the truth, and if she had a conscience, she'd admit it to herself and actually try to make it work, but even Julie knew that she'd burned him at least twenty-eight times too many for that.

He was pleasant, but he shook his head, "What you really like, Julie, is that you know that I've got some money scraped together along with a regular paycheck, and now you want to make up some tenuous line of logic that will let you get to it legally," he said.

"What I'd really like is to be done with everything."

She tilted her head slightly. "Why, Chris? You know that I still love you. I've always loved you, and I know that you love me too. We can't help the way that we are."

He sighed. "Look, I'll say this to you again - just like I've said it so many times before. I don't think that you're capable of love as a concept the way that most people relate to the word. You saw me as a way to get ahead a long time ago. I can even understand that.

You found an idiot and he fell in love with you. You can call it what you want, but I loved you with everything that I had. I don't even blame you for that. I was there and I was a part of it all. But to you, I was just supposed to be a part of the plan.

When that plan fell apart, I thought in my foolishness that the right thing to do was to say 'Fine. Fuck you, we'll just build a life out of the love between us. We don't need your approval or your money. We've got each other.

Only I didn't have you, and without the chance at what you were doing it all for, you sure didn't need me. The only problem is that somewhere inside of you, you DO need me somehow - you always have - so you kept coming back, and for a long time, I kept wanting to believe that I had just the tiniest chance to have the girl that I loved."

He shook his head. "That was a long time ago but I always had a hope. That's why I'd give you whatever you asked for if I could. Anything to keep that hope alive, when really, you and I have no business being within two hundred miles of each other.

So now here we are again. What is it now? Thirteen fucking years later? And you're back still trying for more?

Time's up, Julie. I don't want to play anymore. Even an idiot like me has to learn sometime. I told you that last time that I'd had enough and just wanted to be left alone. And what happened? We got into your car and you made all of those noises that have always worked on me, how this time it'll be different and how you just want to start over and be 'Moreth's girl' again as you always said it since you now see how things could be."

He hung his head and laughed bitterly. "And I went for it yet again. I still can't believe it."

"I was serious, Chris," she said, protesting a little, "That's what I really wanted to do, but -"

He leaned forward, "I don't care anymore, Julie. I gave you what money I had, and after pretending to care, you just pulled me onto the bed and got the other thing that you wanted. You got the satisfaction of feeling how I was still your fool and still stupid enough to hope that one day, I might have a chance to actually live and love with my wife. I doubt there's a bigger jerk in the world. I was scared to death to fall asleep because I knew - "

He stopped for a moment to look away as he blinked hard for a moment. "I woke up the next day, and just like all of the other times, I was alone. You were gone again with the cheque that I brought - just because you said that you needed it, and you even took all of the cash in my wallet."

"Now you're back with some bullshit papers, "he said as he sat back. "Dream on, Julie. With respect and as gently as I can say it, you can go fuck yourself this time. I don't even live here anymore, not that you'd notice, and all that I want is to live the rest of my life without ever seeing you again."

He was almost prepared for it when she didn't appear to be put off in the least by what he'd said. He took it to mean that she still didn't get it and had a lot of faith in her powers of persuasion - since they'd never let her down before.

"Have you got a girlfriend now Chris, is that it?" She smiled, "That doesn't matter, baby. We can still go on the way that we always have. We'll just get together when and where we can, that's all."

He shook his head, "No. Who the hell would want someone as full of poison as me? I've tried, Julie. All I do is spread the same misery that I live in and make somebody hurt for nothing. I think I need to learn about real relationships all over again without you. I think I'll start out small and go from there. Maybe a goldfish to start."

Her eyes flicked up as she was reaching into her purse for the papers that she actually had some thought to be able to get him to sign, but Moreth saw that even so, they flicked past him momentarily. She stopped and looked at him.

"Would you please order me a Mimosa, Chris? I think I've still got enough of your goodwill and kindness to be able to ask for that. I've got to go to the ladies' room. I'll be back in a minute, ok?"

Moreth nodded graciously and reached into his pocket. As Julie stood up and smoothed out her skirt, she smiled at him and he smiled back, but he was looking for something. He watched her eyes and waited for the 'launch' indication.

He saw it as he pulled out his phone and hit a speed-dial key. As he listened to the ring, he watched her pretty ass idly as it receded from his view and hoped that he'd never have to look at it again.

The bartender picked up and Moreth hesitated for just a second as he watched the man who had been sitting behind him walk by on his way to the washrooms. "Hey Nick," Moreth said, "I need that favor now, if you don't mind."

"Sure buddy, "the owner of the bar smiled as he watched his own hand moving toward the camera selector switches. They'd known each other since West Point and Moreth was all right in Nick's book. They'd each found somebody to compare notes with whenever Chris was in town, from days at the academy to just sipping their drinks together after the place had closed and musing about women and laughing at human nature. Chris just needed a favor and it wouldn't be much more than a little entertainment to him, so what the hell...

"If there's a way to pull a copy of the video onto a DVD, I'd appreciate that too, "Moreth said a little sadly.

"Yeah," Nick replied as he searched for the best camera, "It's already on. I'll save it for you. You can come by to pick it up later. I assume that you want the audio feed as well."

"There's audio to this?" Moreth was astounded.

"Yup," Nick replied, "This happens here all the time, about once or twice a week. The tigers of the business world are real people too, or some horseshit like that. The audio helps to keep the intent clear if there's any legal issues between the players afterwards. You sure that you'll be ok with this?"

"Yeah," Moreth sighed, "I'm fine. I just want it to remind myself in case I ever feel myself getting to where I'd believe her shit again. I want to be able to look at what I really had all these years - which is nothing. I'm leaving now anyway. Bring a Mimosa to my table for her. I'll settle up with you when I come in."

They hung up and Moreth looked at the nearest of the busy and popular downtown bar's wide-screen monitors. A moment later, he could see Julie in the hallway leading to the washrooms. She was just finishing her conversation with the man while her hand was already working his zipper frantically. When she'd pulled his manhood free, she lunged and she was all over him. A few seconds after that, the man who had been seated behind him had Moreth's wife up against the wall and it had begun.

He got just the barest goodbye glimpse of her landing strip as her skirt came up and her thong was pulled aside. He was surprised at the quality of the video feed.

Chris Moreth stood up and fastened the button on his blazer after straightening his tie. He ignored the interested glance of a pretty woman at the next table who was there with her friends for lunch. They'd noticed each other when he'd come in alone.

He wasn't going anywhere near that, he knew. That lovely woman had no idea that she was admiring the surface of one heavily scarred and empty shell. She sure didn't deserve what he knew would happen if the little fantasy that he could see in her green eyes played out the way that she was thinking. In the worst case, she'd fall for a man who hadn't stopped falling for someone else since he was twenty and thirteen years bound to somebody's whipping post didn't leave much capability for emotion afterward.

He walked to the door not far behind him, nodding once to Nick before turning to see the images of his wife on every monitor in the place, with her pretty floral skirt pulled high up on her hips being fucked against a wall in a downtown bar. In another few seconds, all of the other activity in the place ground to a halt as everyone watched spellbound. The couple moved a little a few times and it was plain to everyone that there was real penetration going on beyond any doubt.

The woman who had been admiring him turned to stare at him with her mouth open in shock. Moreth shrugged with a smile and though he hadn't intended for it to show through, she saw the twinge of pain and the woman suddenly knew just what she was looking at, though she didn't know how she knew it.

Moreth pushed through the doors and walked to where he'd parked his rental car with a small grin just beginning on his face.

It almost didn't hurt at all.

He cranked the engine and pulled away from the curb, headed for his hotel room. He was thinking about maybe hitting the gym there and then spending a few hours in the pool before stopping back in to see Nick about the DVD.

There wasn't a whole lot that Julie could complain to Nick about and he knew that Nick would just laugh in her face. His bar had security cameras that had been recommended to him by the local police, so he'd installed them. If she wanted to make her private affairs very public by screwing in a public place, oh well...

There were signs all over stating that they were there. He knew that Nick would offer her the use of his bar phone to call the police if she felt that strongly about it.

Moreth never had the thought of ever doing anything to hurt her in the years since his torment had begun – and that was all that it was now, and it had gotten worse for him once he'd finally admitted it to himself. He remembered asking her the last time to just please leave him alone.

She'd smirked that time too.

And just like all of the other times, Chris Moreth had walked back into his empty life the next day, knowing that he'd been a fool once again. But he'd had another seminal moment then.

He'd had two, as a matter of fact. The first one came to him when he'd realized that he'd allowed this out of the hope for what he knew that he would never have and there was a way out of it.

The second seminal moment was when he decided that killing himself was not that way.

He looked at how his life had gone to that point and treated it much like a company saddled with a losing division. He just wrote it off and walked down the road kicking a rock - just what he should have done a decade before and he decided that he'd never be in a situation like that again. He was here today to make certain that this was written off. The machinery had been in place for a while waiting and Julie had just pressed a different launch button.

He still didn't hate her.

Chris wondered just what kind of man would do something like what he was leaving behind there at the bar. Moreth knew that he could be pretty cold and goal-oriented when he had to be, but to fuck another man's wife against the wall in a busy bar at not long after high noon took some stones to begin with. The rest of it just blew his mind a little as he drove and he felt a very natural and free-feeling smile begin to creep across his face.

There might be an end to this torture yet.

Moreth hoped that the video captured the part where the man served Julie with the papers.

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Julie wandered back to the table in shock with the papers in her hand. It had happened so quickly.

One second the guy was thanking her and stuffing himself back into his pants and then the next, he'd suddenly looked shocked for a second as if they'd known each other somehow.

"My God," he'd said, "Julie Moreth?"

She'd nodded, wondering where he knew her from, but she wanted to play this right just in case this could be turned into anything. "Yes," she nodded in surprise, "that's me."

He looked as though he wanted to shake her hand or something. She didn't get it, but she stopped trying to pull down her skirt for a second and reached for his hand.

His smile widened, but she found the papers handed to her from his other hand.

"Consider yourself served. Here's your sign," he smiled pleasantly as he turned and walked down the steps, across the bar and out of the doors into the bright sunlight.

She was back at the table and sitting down before she realized many things in an instant. She was looking at the first cracks in the walls that held her husband to her. The bar sounded silent around her, largely because it was.

It was actually the woman at the next table who had seen Chris Moreth's look who gave her the bad news as she stood there for a moment on her way back to work.

"Excuse me," she'd said, "the man you were sitting with, he was your husband, wasn't he?"

Julie looked up, "Yes, why?"

"Nothing," the woman said, "I just saw his face as he was leaving while you were busy elsewhere. that's all. He looked really hurt. Nice job. Did he do something that made him deserve that?"

"No," Julie said, shaking her head, "he didn't do anything. What are you talking about?"

The woman's face showed her thoughts plainly. "Look around. Everybody here saw what you were doing. You were on every one of those big screens."

She walked away as Julie stared.

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"No way. I need a dog like I need a fucking hole in the head."

The statement carried all of the plain truth that it needed to and it explained everything well enough as the words came out of his mouth. But the dog didn't seem to understand English for some reason as they sat on the bench seat of the beater truck that he used to save his good one from dirtier duties.

He'd seen her peripherally now and then as she loped across his field of view way out in the background for days.

Moreth's career had been satisfying and was pretty much what had enabled him to go on living all these years. But it had taken a turn toward well-deserved success since his divorce the year before and he was more than a little proud of himself for finally being able to make the break as well as holding off the start of everything that he'd been offered until then. He just felt that it had to happen this way and it gave him almost a doorway into the remaking of his life, but now he found himself faced with another hopeful female somehow.