Anna's Love

Prologue

Tears of pride streamed down Anna's cheeks as she sat in the Great Hall of the University, watching her son Michael receive his degree.

Her thoughts ran back over the years, the struggle it had been. She had provided an excellent home. He had gone to the best schools. She had bought his first car. He had even accompanied her weekly to the rather pretentious church she attended. Michael had wanted for nothing. It all might have been otherwise.

She was a young teenager when she became pregnant to the choirmaster of the local church. Her puritan parents had all but thrown her out of the house, and the choirmaster's violation somehow was hushed up and overlooked.

Anna had been forced to enter what was called "A Girl's Shelter," run by the local Council. Here she mingled with other girls destined to become single parents.

She had refused to give her baby up for adoption, and for a few years, she had lived in a series of institutions and cheap lodgings. Then when she was in the vale of dark despair things changed for her. The outcome of that change culminated for her in this day in the University Great Hall.

Her one thought now was that she could begin to relax, to reduce and finally cease her efforts on Michael's behalf.

Horror.

Michael climbed the rather squalid stairs to the flat. He felt rather disappointed as he had thought it would be rather attractive and alluring, like he'd seen in films and videos.

A group of his friends had decided to help him celebrate his graduation. They had found an advertisement for "Zena's Garden of Love, " and made a booking for him. Now, as he approached the door to the flat, there was no sign of any garden, and he began to have serious doubts about there being any love.

He rang the bell, and a voice from a speaker asked, "Who is it?" He gave his name; there was a click, and the door opened slightly. He pushed it fully open and walked in.

What he saw did not inspire either confidence or arouse sexual appetite.

It was a sparsely furnished room dominated by a large bed. It was clean in a carbolic, antiseptic sort of way, and it was clearly set up for one purpose only.

From a side room came the sound of running water and a muffled voice called out, "Make yourself at home, darling, I'll be with you in a moment. Get your clothes off if you like."

Michael, not at all sure he wanted to go through with this "treat," Began to slowly undress. A voice behind him said, "Hello darling, I'm Zena."

Michael turned and froze. Before him stood a woman, wearing black stockings held up by a suspender belt, and black lace panties and bra.

"Oh my God, Michael!"

Michael could barely speak, but stammered out, "Mu…mu…moth…"

The woman had turned a ghastly grey, and Michael felt the blood drain from his face. Bile rose up into his throat, choking him.

They stood facing each other, paralysed by horror.

Michael broke the stalemate with cry, and clasping the clothes he had taken off he turned and fled down the stairs. Reaching the street below, he leaned against a wall and vomited as if he would never stop.

Zena, or more accurately, Anna, stood for a few moments, numbed. Then she fell to the floor in a dead faint.

Despair.

How she got home that night Anna never afterwards could tell. She moved in a world of unreality – the world of nightmares. All these years she had hidden from her son how she got the money to provide for him, and now, by sheer evil chance, he had seen.

She dreaded what might await her, but knew it had to be faced sometime. On arriving at the house, she entered the living room, and there, painted on one wall with red paint were words a foot high, "My mother is a filthy whore."

Michael had gone. He had packed a few clothes and left the house.

In the coming days he did not return and Anna received no news of his whereabouts. With each day, she sank into deeper and darker despair.

What she had done, she had done for him. She had born the humiliation, the invasion of her body, and suffered the inadequate, desperate and sometimes brutal clients. Now she ceased her work as a prostitute. Money was no longer a problem for as well as providing for Michael, she had put money by. She is a good looking woman and had had no trouble maintaining a regular clientele. Not being one of the drug needy prostitutes, she had saved, and now those savings were giving her a good return.

But money was not enough. What she had done was for love – for love of Michael. He had been her reason, virtually her reason for living. Now that reason had gone, probably never to return. What was there to go on living for? She was in "The valley of the shadow."

For almost a year, she struggled on, living from day to day, hoping against all hope to hear from Michael. There was nothing.

Life or Death?

It was sheer chance that a neighbour came knocking at Anna's back door. She had brought some plants in a pot that she thought Anna might like for her garden. It was the neighbour who smelt the gas.

Anna was all but dead by the time the ambulance and paramedics arrived. They and the hospital staff fought to save her, and even when the effects of the gas had seemingly been overcome, Anna seemed to get no better.

Her doctor's concluded that she had lost the will to live, and called in the psychiatrist and hospital chaplain. Anna made a whispered confession, and stated she wanted to die.

One thing was clear, Michael was the key to Anna's recovery.

Efforts were made to trace him, and it was finally the Salvation Army Missing Persons Department that found him.

He had moved to another town where he was working for the Council in the Engineering Department.

The Salvation Army Officer who went to meet Michael told him his mother was very likely to die, and that even if she did make a recovery, the chances were she would make another suicide attempt.

Michael had already begun to regret his hasty condemnation of his mother and agreed to go and see her. When he saw her in hospital, he was almost overwhelmed with compassion for her. She had wasted away, and was surviving almost solely on a drip. Her voice was no more than a hoarse whisper, and there was no sign of the once attractive and vital mother he had known.

"O God," he thought, "Is this what I've done to her?"

She was asleep when he first arrived, so he sat by her bed. After a while Anna opened her eyes. She did not trust what she saw. I'm still asleep and dreaming she thought, but when Michael took her hand, and she felt his warmth and strength, she knew she was awake.

"Michael?" she asked.

"Yes mother," he said.

Anna closed her eyes again, and Michael, frightened, cried out, "Please don't die, mother."

Anna's eyes opened again and she whispered, "I love you Michael."

"I love you mother," don't leave me.

Recovery.

It was those few words that began the road back for Anna. Getting compassionate leave from his work Michael spent hours with her. At the end of a fortnight, Michael had to return to work. Anna's doctor told him that she was now recovering at a very satisfactorily rate, and could probably be released from hospital quite soon. The problem was, she should not be left to live alone. "Is there anyone who could be there with Anna?" the doctor asked.

This was difficult, as Michael was living in a distant town, and there were no relatives that could be called upon to help. After much talk and negotiation with Anna, it was settled that for the time being she would not return to her own house, but live with Michael in his rather small flat.

As the day for her departure from hospital approached, Anna's psychiatrist spoke with Michael.

"She's been traumatised," he said. "The confrontation with you, and the exposure of what she had been doing for years, was a terrible shock. You'll find that she will want to talk about it, probably telling the same stories over and over again. Let her do that. What she needs now, is love, care and someone who will listen to her and accept her."

So it was that Anna and Michael lived together again. The psychiatrist was right, Anna did reiterate the same stories over and over. Not only the night Michael had arrived at her sordid little room, but she spoke also of the men she had had, how they used her, some abusing and hurting her, how all her sex life had been loveless. She wept often.

Michael had his own problems. As he listened to Anna he thought how even if she had not been his real mother, the woman he had gone to could have been someone's mother, someone's sister or daughter. Perhaps once she had been held in someone's arms and they had said, "What a lovely baby."

Michael had gone to that room just as loveless as all those other men had. He had gone there because some friends had bought her for half an hour or an hour. He felt the guilt of this.

Anna was to stay with Michael for a few weeks. The few weeks extended into months, then a year. By then, Anna was well on the way to recovery. She still saw the psychiatrist weekly, but it was Michael's care of her that really worked. They had always loved each other, and now, after their terrible rupture in their relationship, each felt their love restored.

Anna had improved in health so far as to now be helpful around the flat, and so content were they with each other's company, it was decided that Anna should sell her house and Michael his flat, and they would buy a house in the town where Michael worked.

As her health improved Anna's good looks were restored. Men turned to look at her as she walked down the street. Once they moved to the new neighbourhood, some thought that Michael and Anna were husband and wife. She was in fact only fifteen years older than Michael, and as Michael looked very mature for his age, it was an easy mistake to make.

They took to going out to entertainment with each other and this to some extent consoled Michael for the absence of women in is life. For a year, he had been so busy with his work and caring for Anna, that he had lost sight of his female acquaintances. This had severely curtailed what had been a very active sex life, and he had resorted to masturbation to relieve the frustrations he felt.

As Anna continued to improve Michael began to think of resuming some of his past sexual contacts, but found that most of them had now married or found other lovers. He thought he might seek new women, but when it came down to it, he could not be bothered. What he saw was that he was going to use women in not so different a way as those men his mother once served. He felt sick at this thought.

Relapse

Anna, having broken away from her work as a prostitute, had resolved she would never again have sexual contact with a man, or a woman for that matter. The men she serviced, and never once had an orgasm with, had often sickened her. Now with a return of good physical and emotional health, she felt almost for the first time in her life, an equally healthy sex drive.

This had first come to her attention whilst watching a video with Michael. He always selected their television viewing material with care, avoiding anything that might contain acts of prostitution. The video in question did, however, have a scene of loving sexual intercourse in it.

When this scene was over, Anna noticed that Michael had a rather large bulge in the crotch of his trousers. She knew what this meant, but was disconcerted when she felt a throbbing in her clitoris and wetness in her groin.

She told herself not to be a fool. Hadn't she had enough of sex, and to feel aroused by her own son? Was she going to become a whore again and an incestuous whore to make things worse?

During the following days and weeks she found herself constantly having to fight down her sexual feelings, and the situation began to cause her to regress.

Her psychiatrist was puzzled. He had been about to end her visits to him, but now she showed all the signs of a growing depression.

He asked Michael to come and see him, and explained that he was unable to understand why Anna's emotional health was deteriorating. Was there something happening in her life that Michael knew of, that might be causing this?

Michael had no idea of his mother's sexual desire for him, so could give no help. Arriving home from this visit to the psychiatrist, he found his mother's bags packed. She was standing in the hallway weeping, awaiting the arrival of a taxi she had ordered.

"What the hell is going on, mother?" He asked angrily.

"I've got to go. I can't stay here any longer," she wept.

"Why? Why?" Protested a bewildered Michael. "Have I done something - said something to upset you?"

"No, no, darling. It's me, not you. I'm no good…"

"What are you talking about," pleaded Michael. "Tell me what it is."

"I can't darling. I can't."

"Why not? Just tell me and we can do something about it, but please, don't just go."

"I can't tell you because I don't want you to hate me again."

"Mother, we are past all that, just tell me."

"I can't."

"Please mother, don't go. I need you."

The taxi had arrived and Michael continued his pleading for Anna to stay. Finally he took over the situation and said, "You're not going until you've told me what the trouble is," and with that he paid the taxi driver for his trouble and dismissed him.

There now erupted a furious argument with Anna saying he had no right to take over like that, and Michael saying she was not leaving until she had told him what was wrong. It ended with Anna resuming her crying, but this time as if her heart would break.

Michael took her arm, led her into the living room and sat her down. Kneeling in front of her he asked quietly, "What is it mother? Nothing can be so bad that you can't tell me."

"There are some things too bad to tell, darling, so just let me go."

"I won't," said Michael. "I love you, and I can't just let you go – perhaps walk out of my life. That's what I did to you when perhaps you needed me. I won't let you do it."

All right, my love," said Anna. "If you must know, I love you, but I love you like a woman loves a man who is not her son."

There was a long pause. They looked into each other's eyes, searching for they knew not what. Then Anna spoke.

"It was that night we watched that video with the beautiful love scene. I saw what happened to you, and for the first time in my life, I wanted a man to have me with love, but the man I wanted was you. Now let me go."

Love

Anna rose and Michael rose with her. "Who did you think I wanted when you saw my erection? If you saw that, couldn't you understand it was you I wanted? I've been nearly out of my mind fighting my feelings for you. I've always loved you as a son, but now something has been added. I want you as a woman. I want to come to your bed and be your lover. If I could I would make you my wife."

Anna nearly fell insensible. From what seemed a long way off she heard her self say, "Oh Michael."

She felt herself being lifted in his arms and being carried to her bed. As the mist in her head cleared, she saw Michael seated beside her on the edge of the bed. He was stroking her face and hair and speaking. She could not make out the words, but she knew they were utterances of love. She lay, basking in his tenderness.

When Anna finally came fully to herself again, Michael was not speaking of love, but being very practical.

"I'll make a cup of tea for you, and then you must rest," he was saying.

He left her for a while to return with a cup of tea. Anna was desperately trying to put in order what had passed between them, but she could only frame three words, "He loves me."

She drank the tea and Michael helped her undress down to her panties and bra, then covering her with the bedclothes said, "Sleep now. We can talk later." Then he left.

Anna, exhausted by the emotional crisis they had passed through, drifted off with the words, "He loves me as a woman," repeating themselves over and over in her mind. She dreamed of Michael making love with her, but just as he was about to penetrate her, she woke

Michael was sitting by her, and seeing her awake he said, "I've prepared some food if you're hungry."

Anna was hungry, but not for that sort of food. Her hunger was for love. Her ignited sensual appetite was burning for Michael, but she did not know how to go on. She had all her prostitute's tricks that she had used with her clients, but these would not do for the real love she was craving for now. She decided to stall.

"Not just now, dearest. Let's just talk."

Looking at Michael, she saw once again that bulge in his groin, and felt a renewed and urgent surge of love and tenderness flow through her. Summoning her courage, she touched his penis and said, "Just give me love, my sweet."

Michael moved to remove her bra, revealing her full rounded breasts with their erect nipples. Anna brought his head to her breasts and holding a breast in her hand, inserted its nipple into his mouth. He caressed it with his lips and tongue.

Anna felt the waves of love and passion flow over her. She was loved, and she felt beautiful, as she never had before. In the past during sex, she had felt only ugly and dirty.

Michael removed her panties, but before Anna opened her legs to receive him she said, "Darling, please don't be rough with me. I've been hurt so much."

Michael kissed her very softly and said, "I shall be very gentle."

He seemed to slip into her, and her gasp was one of real passion. In a sense she was still a virgin, in that this was the first time she was being penetrated by love. She murmured as Michael moved up and down in her.

"Darling, I love you so much. Oh my love."

Even his ejaculation was without violence. He gasped, and she felt his semen spurt into her, and the thought flashed through her mind, "Oh God, let him fertilise me."

Afterwards they lay side by side, Anna's hands roaming over his body. She felt at peace and full of warmth as she anticipated their next coupling. "That was beautiful, my love, just wonderful," she said.

Michael turned to her and kissed each breast in turn. "You are lovely," he said, "I want you for ever."

They showered together then ate. After clearing up, and without any discussion, they returned to the bed.

In all the years of having sex as a prostitute, there was one act Anna had denied her clients. She had never allowed them to give her oral sex. So, when during their love making Michael parted her legs and thrust his tongue into her vagina, this new experience brought forth a scream of ecstacy from Anna. This outcry was nothing, however, to what followed.

Anna had never had an orgasm, but now she was destined to experience that delicious torment for the first time. She did not know this, and so was disconcerted as she felt its approach.

Her first instinct was to stop what was happening to her, so she cried out to Michael, "Stop, please stop, darling, I can't…can't…you'll hurt me, no…no…"

Michael knew his business, however, and did not stop. Instead he held Anna's thighs firmly and thrust his tongue more urgently against her clitoris.

As the ferocious orgasmic wave struck, Anna gave an immense shriek then her whole body writhed in torment. She now cried out, "Oh yes…yes…don't stop…kill me but don't stop…"

As the climax passed, she continued to shake as little waves of sweet agony passed through her.

"What have you done to me Michael? What have you done?

As Michael penetrated her he simply said, "I have loved you."

Her certainly had and he certainly was loving her. Anna was elated. She felt she could go on with Michael inside her forever. Her son was ravishing her and she was overwhelmed. She no longer cared whether he was rough, even if he caused pain; she just wanted him to be one with her. She wanted to suck him into her and never let him go.