Another Loss

"It's ten bucks each for the night to use the equipment and share a locker."

"Nah, man I wanna get in the ring."

Manny gave the big guy in front of the group the once over. He clearly had some training. Manny asked the standard questions and the young man had all the right answers, a wrestling background and was willing to sign the liability waivers. It didn't feel quite right, but Manny couldn't put his finger on why. The guy was a smug son of a bitch, so Manny decided it was just his general dislike for assholes that put the kid on his radar.

"OK, there aren't many people looking to spar tonight, but it's your money."

"Oh, I'm sure someone will give me a shot, Jose."

"Yep," Manny thought, "asshole".

People in the gym were in the same jovial mood as always. There was of course a little trash talking, some towel tossing and a water fight. Kyle sat alone on a bench, head in his hands.

Jake Lichty was eager to hop in ring, not even bothering to warm up. Jorge, one of the trainers checked his head gear, gloves and mouthpiece shaking his head as the kid threw air punches and hoped around like he was getting ready for a prize fight.

"Calm down, Rocky, no one is even up to spar ton..."

Jorge stopped short as he watched Kyle step between the ropes.

"Watts! What's up, homie."

Kyle stood stoically as Jorge checked him over.

"You all right, Kyle."

"Fine man. Just fine."

"Three minutes?"

"Five."

"Whatever, homes. That's a big lug over there."

Jorge rang the bell, Manny stepping up behind him. Jake threw a roundhouse that caught nothing but air then ate a short left jab. Kyle followed with an inside leg kick that popped just above Jake's right knee and a wicked body shot that landed just above Jake's left hip. Then he skipped away to the center of the ring.

Manny hollered into the ring.

"Damn, Kyle. You may make me forget that you can't fight worth a shit with shots like that."

Then he wandered away from the ring, laughing, and up the stairs to his office.

It was a punishing five minute round. Kyle dropped his guard once and could tell that the stinging sensation under his left eye was going to leave a mark that would last for some time. Still, he walked casually towards his corner and stood resting his elbows on the top of the ropes taking in a few deep breaths.

Jake, however, was hunched over on his stool, holding a towel to his lip. The blood stained ever part of the towel it touched. But it didn't really hurt. Then again, maybe it did. But it didn't nearly as much as the rest of his body. His legs were throbbing from kick after kick. There was already a bruise on his left shin. His cheeks were starting to swell from all the jabs that had come his way. At one point, he thought he had the upper hand, landing a huge right hook to the eye of his opponent, but the guy barely moved. But, while Kyle was momentarily stunned, Jake rushed him and used his formidable size to shove him into a corner. It hadn't lasted long. A short uppercut had moved Jake back, and he soon found himself with his back to the ropes, his hands wrestling with Kyle's, trying to gain the upper hand while he was taking knee after knee to his torso. Left, left, right. Pause. Right, right, left. And again.

Jake stared at his opponent, trying hard not to lift his head farther than he had to. He felt like he couldn't breathe. Kyle looked like he hadn't broken a sweat. The muffled ding announced that the short break was over.

Kyle strolled into the center of the ring.

"You can still walk away."

"Fuck you, old man."

"OK, I tried. When you're wondering later on, that first round was for fucking my wife. This one is for where you did it. So, show me what you have left. You. Fucking. Pussy."

When he thought about it later Jake realized the number of ways he had underestimated his opponent and basically dove, head first, into the beating of his life. His size was countered by skill. His youth was countered by endurance and training. His arrogance countered by rage. But, at that moment, none of those things stopped him from growling and diving at Kyle's legs. It would be his last mistake.

Kyle shot his legs backwards and pushed his hips high, all while grappling Jake's head with a force that equaled his size. The shift in momentum couldn't be missed and Jake tumbled to the ground landing on his back. Like a man possessed Kyle was on him in an instant.

"Manny! Manny!" Jorge screamed. He had listened to the conversation as best he could and when understood the implications he started to call for help. But it was too late.

Kyle was seated atop Jake in full guard. Jake tried to protect his face with his arms, but it was futile. In the superior position Kyle drove his fists to the mat, Jake's face just happened to be in the way. Blow after blow rained down. When Kyle's arms tired, he started with the hammer fists by the dozens. When Jake's nose broke and splashed blood across the floor, he reached towards Kyle's face in a final attempt to push him away. And that was the end.

Kyle grabbed Jake's wrist, and twisted his hips, gathering Jake's arm between his legs. Kyle's left calf was pushing against Jake's throat, his feet, crossed at his ankles, pressing down against Jake's chest. As Kyle pushed his hips in the air and his shoulders to the mat, he twisted Jake's limb, which was fully captured in the arm bar. Manny came running down the stairs just in time to hear the snap. The scream was frightening. And then the crying started.

Kyle stoically exited the ring, and tossed his gear in his locker, gathering his clothes in his arms, and walked out of the gym. He didn't feel bad, not by any means. But he didn't feel better.

***

This is what Dana wanted. A man who didn't know her husband, who couldn't respect him, who would never fear him.

As her body was pushed against the door and his hands started tearing her clothes from her body, she struggled to find her key and place it in the lock. It wasn't as though she was being cautious, with her bra enclosed breasts visible to anyone in their upscale suburban neighborhood. She hadn't even bothered to see if anyone was milling about.

They weren't even a few feet into the house when she dropped to her knees, unbuckled his belt and pulled off his jeans. The door had barely latched before she had his cock in her hand and then, quickly, in her mouth. He grabbed her hair and pulled her into his crotch, desperately trying to fuck her face. It wasn't slow and gentle, but it wasn't brutal either. She was just a convenient hole.

This is what she needed. What she wanted.

Dana wasn't surprised when Jake's come splashed into the back of her throat. Frankly, she expected it. She smiled wickedly as she realized that she had overwhelmed him so easily.

"I'll fuck you like you've never had it before."

"We'll see."

She laughed to herself as she recalled their brief conversation on the ride to her house.

As Jake leaned against the entry wall, trying to catch his breath, Dana made her final choice. She stood and turned away from her boy toy, unzipping her skirt and stepping out of it gracefully as it fell past her hips to the floor. Her heels clicked a few steps farther before she reached behind her back and unclasped her bra. She shrugged the lace from her shoulders then dangled the garment in her fingers, holding it shoulder high. The momentum from the sway in her hips during her next few steps pushed the strap towards the end of her finger. She stopped briefly as she let it fall to the floor, turning her head to give Jake a devilish grin.

Jake was at a loss for words. He felt stuck against the wall, paralyzed momentarily, as he watched the woman, dressed now in only panties and heels, stroll casually towards the hallway. Jake had never had such an easy pick up. Less than a week earlier, a slightly tipsy Dana Watson, had basically propositioned him. It had been a little shocking because it was hard to miss the giant rock on her finger.

"I think I'd enjoy fucking you."

"Well, who am I to argue. But, your husband might not like that idea."

"Fuck him."

"Exactly."

It was hard to tell if she was joking when she said she was calling her husband for a ride home. But the guy actually showed. Jake hadn't even waited twenty four hours before he'd made the call. And now he could only hold his breath as he watched Dana stop, bend at the waist with her legs straight, and roll her panties down her hips, revealing the most perfect ass he had ever seen. The fact that she was older didn't mean much. The bitch was hot.

Jake didn't pay much attention to the room's décor. Someone could have been holding a gun at his back in the corner of the room and he wouldn't have noticed. His focus was on Dana Watson on her knees, ass in the air, shoulders on the twin bed.

Jake didn't bother with any preliminaries as he pushed his cock into the furnace of Dana's cunt.

Dana sighed, at least his recovery time was good, though his technique didn't quite match his enthusiasm. She pushed her ass back to meet his thrusts.

"Come on big boy, fuck me. Harder. Fuck me, harder!"

She heard the grunts and felt the urgency, and she reached between her legs to rub her clit in a desperate attempt to bring herself to climax. When Jake forced himself forward onto her back, she knew it was too late. She rolled her eyes and sighed, and when she refocused her eyes she was staring at the comforter beneath her. She reached forward and traced the colorful flower appliqué with her finger.

Emily loved flowers. All kinds, really. Tulips, roses, daisies. Dana started to laugh as she recalled how Emily even argued to save the dandelions in the yard.

"They're beautiful, mama. Tiny, little sunflowers. We can't kill them. We just CAN'T!"

She remembered Kyle holding in his laughter as Emily, all of four years old, tattled on her mother.

"Daddy! Daddy! Mama needs a spanking! She killed all the d'lions and the flowers, too! All of them, daddy! With a sprayer, Psssshhhhh!! And it smelled really bad!!"

Kyle had knelt to give Emily a hug as he looked up at Dana. The fire in his eyes caused Dana's knees to buckle as he whispered.

"We'll talk about your spanking later....Mommy."

"Fuck. That was awesome!"

Jake's voice grated Dana away from her wonderful memory. And now everything that she knew she wanted was wrong.

"Get up. We have to go. Now!"

***

Kyle wasn't all that worried. It wasn't like Dana to miss her regular appointment with Dr. Harris, but when he'd called her office the receptionist said she had gone home. Apparently, she wasn't feeling well. Kyle was wondering if she had another hangover.

Still, Kyle was irritated that the garage door was open, but at least he knew that Dana had been home, since he knew it was closed when he left for the office that morning. That the front door was unlocked also got on his nerves. What the hell was Dana thinking and where was she now? It wasn't that they lived in a crime ridden neighborhood or anything, but was it too much to ask that we close and lock the doors.

He was halfway down the hallway, reaching up to loosen his tie when he noticed the door at the end of the hallway was open. He could see the light from the noon day sun brightly framing the door. And that's when he remembered he had seen something on the floor.

He retraced his steps back to the hallway entrance and looked down at the piece of fabric he had stepped over the first time by. That's when he started to worry.

***

Dana was in full panic mode. It was like someone had slapped her in the face and awoken her from a nightmare. She glanced at her watch again. She only had two hours left before Kyle was home. It was enough time. Barely, but enough. She squealed to a stop in the driveway, barely noticing that the garage door was now closed. Then she dropped her keys as she tried to unlock the front door. Why was she having so much trouble with the damn door?

She flew down the hallway and into the room. She stripped the bedding and closed the door, running back down the hallway. She dropped what she was holding on the dining room table and started to remove her skirt and blouse and bra, tossing them onto the pile. Then she remembered what was missing. She ran naked back towards the hallway, searching the floor.

"Come on. Come on! Shit!"

"Looking for these?"

Dana looked up, instinctively covering her breasts and crotch.

"Kyle! I'm sorry...I...I didn't see you...there."

Kyle was sitting in the living room, in his favorite leather chair, a bourbon in one hand and a pair of panties in the other.

"You missed your appointment, DEAR!"

"Kyle, I wasn't feeli....."

"Did you fuck that kid in her room, SWEETY!?"

"It was a mista..."

"Is that his come dripping down your leg, HONEY!?"

"Oh, God. Oh, my God!"

"You win, Dana. I'm done. You've pushed and pushed and pushed. You win."

Dana reached for him. This couldn't be happening.

"DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME! DON'T YOU DARE FUCKING TOUCH ME YOU STUPID BITCH!"

In all the time she'd known Kyle, he had never raised his voice to her. Not in junior high, when they had met for the first time and become friends. Not in high school, when they had dated. Not one time when she'd left him to go to college on the west coast, when he called her every week without fail. Not even when she told him that she felt like they should see other people while they were so far apart. And never once in their ten years of marriage.

"Kyle, I'm sor...."

"Just shut up, Dana. Shut. The. Fuck. Up. Just get out of my house. Get out and don't come back."

She dressed as quickly as she could, crying all the way to her car. She was too embarrassed to call her friends. There was no way she was going to see her parents. Why she called Jake, she never understood. They didn't know each other, he wouldn't be able to help her in any way.

Unfortunately, he answered her call and was just too stupid to know when he should leave well enough alone.

***

When Kyle didn't show up for their next counseling session, Dana knew what it meant. Her tearful confession to Dr. Harris that night started the long and painful process of admitting her demons and finding a way to progress towards healing.

The petition for divorce had arrived two weeks later. Kyle called her to let her know it was coming so that the process server could find her at her parent's house and not at work.

Dana saw Jake one more time while she was out with friend's catching a movie at the downtown mega theater. His arm was in a cast and his eyes were surrounded by massive bruises. She had never seen anyone turn and walk away from her so quickly, let alone someone who had clearly been in a recent car accident.

Kyle pled no contest to misdemeanor disturbing the peace, after several weeks of plea bargaining with the district attorney. In the real world, people who hit other people get arrested. He was no exception. Fortunately, as a first time offender, Kyle was able to enter a pre-trial diversion program that required him to continue to see a counselor. He was already seeing Dr. Harris, so it really changed nothing in his life. After six months of sessions and a year of probation, his record would be expunged.

His sentence from Manny was far more challenging. No gym time for a year and ten hours a week of community service at the youth center. Manny still came to Kyle's house on the weekends to train him in his garage. During the first month of private sessions, Kyle was pretty sure Manny was trying to carry out a self enforced death sentence.

After ten months of haggling, Dana finally agreed to the terms of the divorce. Requesting one last face to face with Kyle before signing. That is how they found themselves in the conference room. The dark cherry bookshelves and tables and wingback leather chairs didn't scream warm and comforting to Kyle, but he sat there anyway. It wasn't his first choice for a place to have a conversation, but it was all he had.

For maybe the first time, they really talked about Emily's death and how it had affected them. And they reminisced about the good memories of their little girl and her short time on earth.

"Kyle, I just want to say that I am as sorry as I have ever been in my entire life about what I put you through. You have every right to be angry with me. I have no excuses. But, I have made a lot of progress in counseling and I understand what went wrong, and I would never, ever hurt you again. And I would do anything, anything at all, if you would just give me one more chance to love you, for us to be a couple again."

Kyle knew this was where the conversation would lead. And, honestly, he had given it a lot of thought. More than he ever thought he would. But he sat quietly for a minute, to collect his thoughts, anyway.

"You know, Dana. I believe you. I really do. And I do love you. I know that for certain. I suppose that I have always loved you, and I can't imagine that ever really changing. The three happiest days of my life involved you. The day you came back from college and were waiting for me on my porch, the day you married me and the day you gave me Emily."

"I loved those days, and I am happy I will always have those memories and that I share them with you. You were my first love, and the love of my life, and nothing will ever change that. Do you remember the first time we made love?"

"I would never forget that night, Kyle."

"I know. That's not what I meant, though. Do you remember how nervous we were? Two virgins, fumbling in the dark. God, it was pathetic!"

Dana laughed hard at that.

"I know. It's so true."

"And I remember when you were pregnant, and in the hospital on bed rest, and you were so sick and I was so scared. I prayed, so hard, that you would be OK. Because I knew I couldn't live without you and I knew I couldn't love you any more than I did. Then we took Emily home and you made me check the car seat four times and wouldn't let me drive faster than twenty-five. And I knew I was wrong, and that I actually could love you more. And I did."

"Those are the memories I carry with me every day and they make me smile."

"But then I remember that Emily died and took half my heart with her. And I needed you so much. And you blamed me for her death, for a reason that I still don't understand. Instead of finding comfort in your arms, I endured punishment after punishment from you. For an accident. For a crime I didn't commit. And then you embarrassed me, and disrespected me, and humiliated me. And I can't say that I will ever understand why."

"So, no matter how much I love you, and I do, and no matter how many times I forgive you, and I have, I will always, ALWAYS hate you for that. Even if it's only a tiny bit. Unfortunately, as sad as that makes me, I know it's true and I think you do to."

"Yeah, Kyle. I do."

"In her room, Dana? Anywhere but her room."

Dana signed the papers as she cried and left the room after giving Kyle a tender kiss on the cheek. If he had known she was going to move back to the west coast, and that he would never see her again, he might have said goodbye.

***

A year later, Kyle found himself sitting under the shade of the massive oak trees. It was his monthly visit, and today was what would have been Emily's thirteenth birthday.

"I brought you lilies today. Mrs. Johnson, at the flower shop, told me these are her favorite flowers. Even though Valentine's Day is just around the corner, and roses seem to be everywhere you look, I thought you might like these better. You know, to be original."

"Who you talkin' too?"

Kyle was startled as the tiny little girl plopped down on her knees right next to him.

"Uhh, I was umm talking to my daughter."

"Is she in heaven like my daddy?"