Another Love: Fallout

"But here, in front of family?" he asked.

"I don't really know any of these people," I said. "They may be your mother's extended family, but not mine."

"But Dad, we're part of their family also," he said. "They've accepted us and we've gotten to know them quite well."

"I understand," I said. "Just 20 minutes. That's all I ask."

The doorbell rang right at 6:30, about the time everyone was starting to sit down at the table. I looked at Karen.

"I think that's for you," I said. She looked at me, confused, then went to the door. She opened it to find a man in khakis and a lightweight jacket.

"Mrs. Karen McDonald?" he asked.

"Yes, that's me," she said. He handed her a manila envelope and asked for her signature. She signed where he indicated then looked back up at him.

"You've been served, ma'am," he said. "Good day."

She looked in the envelope and immediately began sobbing. By now, everyone had gathered in the front room.

"How dare you embarrass your wife like this? On Thanksgiving, of all days. And in front of the whole family," Avril said, shocked. Everyone else looked at me, confused. None of them had expected this.

"How dare I embarrass her?" I asked sarcastically. "No. How dare she embarrass me the way she has for twenty years. You think this is embarrassing? You try walking in my shoes these last few weeks. What about the embarrassment of learning my spouse of more than two decades has been sleeping with another man -- AND his wife. And what about the embarrassment the two of you planned by rubbing her infidelity in my face by displaying that abomination to the whole world?" I stopped to catch my breath as I could feel my blood pressure begin to rise.

"Thanks to what she did with you and your husband, I've lost my family," I said. "I've lost my manhood, my dignity, my job. I damn near lost my LIFE. My whole life for the last twenty years has been a goddamn LIE. And you wanna know the worst part of all this? Everyone in this house except for myself and a couple others knew about it. And not a single one of you lifted a finger to stop it or let me know." I stopped to take another breath. By now, everyone was dead silent. You could have heard a pin drop in the house.

"And how much do you really know about your one true love, Karen?" I asked. "Did you know he's responsible for at least six divorces? Did you know the RCMP once investigated him on allegations of pedophilia? They were never able to make the charge stick, but it's out there." I looked to see a number of shocked faces, including Karen's.

"I also did some looking and guess what I found?" I asked. "There's quite a few articles out there on the Internet about Phillipe, several of which reference you as his 'married American companion.' We all know what that means. The photos of you with him are quite illustrative. I don't think I've ever seen you look that happy with me." I took another couple of breaths to get my blood pressure under control.

"I kept the divorce simple," I said, addressing Karen. "I filed under 'irreconcilable differences' instead of adultery. I think I've been more than fair. I'll leave you half of what we have in the bank. You keep your retirement and I'll keep mine. The house is paid for, so you can keep it. All I want are my clothes and my personal things. The rest is yours. I've accepted a job in Cincinnati, and I'll be moving there after my rehab is complete. I suggest you get an attorney to look over the papers, then sign them. My attorney's number is on a card with the papers. Don't fight me on this, or it'll get real ugly. I'll drive myself back to rehab."

"You stupid, foolish man," Aimi Lefebvre, Avril's 81-year-old mother, said. "You have two women here who love you with all their hearts. Can you not put your pride aside and let them love you?"

"Love me? Karen literally broke my heart. Is that something you do to someone you love? Like I told Avril," I said. "It takes a lot more than love. A good marriage takes respect, loyalty and trust. Karen has shown me none of those things with her betrayal and I refuse to be a willing cuckold." By now, everyone was looking down, ashamed. I figured I had said enough, so I grabbed my truck keys hanging by the door. I turned as I prepared to walk out.

"By the way, happy Thanksgiving," I said before I walked out. I jumped in my truck and took a few deep breaths before starting. Once I knew I could drive, I looked at the house one last time.

"Goodbye, old friend," I said before I drove away. This had been my home for more than two decades and it was the only house Karen and I had ever owned. We bought it early on and spend a great deal of time, effort and money putting it into the shape it is now. I would miss it, but I wouldn't miss the bad memories it now held for me.

I got back to the rehab facility and laid down in my bed, tears flowing down my cheeks. I wiped my face and swore never to cry over Karen again. That chapter of my life was now over.

After eating breakfast the next day, I noticed I had several text messages on my phone. Two of them were from my sons, excoriating me for the way I had embarrassed their mother. Too bad, I thought. They had been in on her infidelity from the beginning. I understood they kept her secret out of loyalty and a desire to please their mother, but I wasn't very happy with them at that moment.

Karen sent me a text begging me to drop the divorce. Not going to happen, I thought. I responded: "No."

When I got back from my morning therapy, I saw a young couple standing by the door of my room.

"Good morning," the young woman said. "I don't know if you remember me from yesterday, but I'm Simone, and this is my husband, Georges." I vaguely remembered them from the previous day. "May we come in and talk?"

"Sure, why not," I said. "You'll have to forgive me, but yesterday was a bit crazy. If I remember correctly, you're Avril's daughter, right?"

"Yes," she said. "It was a bit crazy. I was thirteen years old when I first met Aunt Karen and your two sons. When she and Papa left to go back to Albany, I asked Mama if they were having an affair. She said they were and told me you knew all about it and approved of it. I didn't quite believe that at the time, but said nothing. I take it now that you didn't know."

"No," I said. "I trusted her all those years and never thought she'd do something like that. I found out when your mother brought that painting to the house after your father died."

"That's horrible," she said. "I feel so bad for you. I'm so sorry."

"What's done is done," I said. "I'm sorry I ruined your holiday dinner."

"No, that's quite alright," she said. "It was a bit subdued, though. Aunt Karen had a place set out for you, and the empty chair spoke volumes. You were right about most of what you said. We all knew and none of us did anything to stop it. Not all of us approved of it, though."

"Oh?" I asked.

"Oh, don't get me wrong," she said. "I loved my Papa, still do. But I know he was what you would call a ladies' man. He took what he wanted, when he wanted. He loved my mother and she loved him, so they stayed together. And yes, she took lovers as well. I didn't approve of it, but there was nothing I could do. Georges went through something similar, and I saw the pain it caused him. It took a long time for him to get over it."

"At least I didn't end up in the hospital," Georges said. I smiled at that.

"Is it true that her infidelity put you in the hospital?" Simone asked. I nodded my head.

"Yes," I said. "They even have a fancy name for what happened. It's very much like a heart attack. That's why I'm here."

"I'm so sorry," she said, putting her hand on my arm. I could tell she was sincere.

"That's alright," I said. "They're putting me back together again. When they're done here, I'll be going to Cincinnati."

"You did the right thing by divorcing your wife," Georges said. "And I applaud you for destroying that painting. But at some point, you'll need to forgive your wife so you can move on. Trust me on that."

"Thanks," I said. "I'm not quite ready to do that, though. Maybe after the divorce is final. Karen still doesn't think she did anything wrong."

"Maybe she'll have a change of heart," Simone said.

"Perhaps," I said. "But I'm not going to stand around and hold my breath waiting for that to happen." We talked for another half hour before they stood to leave.

"Please accept our invitation to visit us in Montreal sometime," she said. "Perhaps over the holidays. You're welcome to come any time you wish."

"Thank you, Simone," I said. "I appreciate that. Maybe I'll do that some time." Georges and I shook hands and Simone kissed me on the cheek before they left.

After my afternoon therapy and counseling sessions, I had another visitor -- Avril. And she didn't seem too happy.

"Please, Avril," I said. "If you're going to tell me I need to forgive Karen and take her back, don't waste your breath."

"Alright," she said. "I won't. I just want you to know that she is hurting just as much as you. Maybe more so."

"Oh?" I asked. "How can that be? I thought she had everything she wanted and a new family to boot."

"She cries every night," Avril said. "She has nightmares, too, you know. Nightmares of your dead parents judging her for what she did."

"So, she does have a conscience after all," I said. "It's a bit too late, though, don't you think?"

"She loves you," Avril said. "And frankly, so do I. Why can't you just let us love you and heal your heart?" As I thought about what she said, I had a brainstorm.

"You know, it just hit me," I said. "You have no idea what I'm going through, because you've never been in a committed relationship."

"That's ridiculous," she said. "I was married to Phillipe for years."

"You were married, that much is true," I said. "But let's face it. Neither one of you were faithful to the other. Both of you took lovers outside your marriage. You can't possibly understand the concept of fidelity because you've never tried it. You can't possibly know what it's like to love someone exclusively only to have them rip your heart out. It would be like me trying to explain a jet engine to someone who had never even seen an aircraft."

"What are you suggesting?" she asked.

"I'm just stating an observation, that's all," I said.

"So you are going through with the divorce, no matter what it does to your wife?" she asked.

"Yes," I said. "After all, she gave herself to Phillipe for 20 years with no concern of what it would do to me."

"That is not true," she said. "Karen often said she never wanted to hurt you. She never disrespected you and for that matter, neither did Phillipe."

"Maybe not in words, but they both disrespected me with their actions and their lies," I said.

"So that is your final word, then?" she asked. I nodded my head.

"Pretty much," I said. "She made a mockery of our marriage, humiliated me, took my manhood and my dignity. I have to set things right."

"Very well," she said. "I truly am sorry. We could have made beautiful love, the three of us." I smiled at that. I had no doubt Avril was good in bed. She certainly was easy on the eyes. But there were principles involved here that she simply couldn't understand. And I was getting tired of trying to explain it to her. "Perhaps sometime in the future," she began.

"Not until after I'm divorced," I said. "I'm still technically a married man. And I'm strictly a one-woman man." Avril kissed me softly before she got ready to leave.

"You didn't say no," she said. "So there's still hope."

My rehab went on as planned, and my heart condition steadily improved. It helped that Karen and Avril finally decided to leave me alone for a while. About two weeks after that dreaded Thanksgiving Monday, I got a call from my attorney.

"How are you feeling, Rob," he asked.

"Doing better," I said. "Getting stronger. Why? What's going on?"

"Well," he began. "Karen wants to have one last meeting with you before she signs the papers."

"Is she contesting anything?" I asked.

"No, Rob, she just wants to talk with you one last time," he told me.

"What do you think?" I asked.

"What can it hurt?" he asked. "A quick meeting, you stand your ground, let her have her say. Then she signs."

"Okay," I said. "Go ahead and set it up. Can we do it here at the rehab facility?"

"I don't see any reason why not," he said. "I'll bring a notary with me and we can put this to rest." We scheduled the meeting to be held in my room at the rehab facility in two days' time and ended the call. I made sure to let the nurses know so no one would interrupt us.

Two days later, my attorney and I sat in my room as Karen and her attorney walked in. We introduced ourselves to each other and I turned to Karen, noticing that she looked as though she had spent a lot of time crying.

"How are you holding up, Karen?" I asked.

"How do you think?" she asked. "I told you I would love you until the day I die but I guess that's not good enough for you, is it?"

"You wanted this meeting," I said. "So, let's get to it." She sat down and looked at me, twirling her rings.

"Right to business, then," she said. "Alright. Rob, I don't want this divorce. I want us to fix what's wrong, put this behind us and move on."

"And how do you plan on doing that?" I asked. "Do you have a device that can take us back in time to the point before you met Phillipe Du Monte? Can you unfuck yourself? Or do you think I should just ignore what you've been doing for the last two decades?"

"Don't be silly, Rob," she said. "I told you I still love you. I always will. Isn't that enough?"

"No," I said. "We've talked about this before. You seem to think it was perfectly okay to cheat on me, bring another man into our house and our bed -- while I was off fighting a war, and enlisting our children to deceive me all this time. How can I possibly ever trust or believe you again? About anything? You've gotten quite adept at lying these last two decades after all."

"Rob, I promise I'll never do anything like that ever again," she said.

"And I should believe you?" I asked. "Seriously? Every time you walk out the door, I'll be left wondering if you're going to meet another French Canadian artist. Every time you say something I'll wonder if it's the truth."

"Don't you love me anymore?" she asked.

"I never stopped loving you," I said. "That's why your betrayal hurts so bad. Trust me, it would be a lot easier if I hated you. I could just walk away and be done with it. You just don't get it, do you? You said Phillipe was a good man. Tell me, what kind of a man is responsible for six divorces? Seven, counting ours. Tell me, please. I want to know."

"I understand you're hurting," she said. "And I understand that it's my fault. But can't you put it behind you and move on?"

"You mean, pretend it never happened, right?" I asked. "Pretend that 20 years of lies, cheating and deception never happened? Pretend you never brought another man into our bed while my life was in danger overseas? Maybe you want me to pretend that picture of you never existed."

"There's nothing I can do or say to make you change your mind?" she asked. I shook my head.

"No," I said. "What you did can't be undone. Look, this is making my blood pressure spike again. Please, you've had your meeting, so sign the paperwork and let's end this sham of a marriage." She looked down, wiping a tear from her eye. After a couple minutes, she nodded her head.

"Alright, Rob," she said. "You win. I'll sign the papers since you're so intent on throwing away more than 25 years of marriage."

"I didn't throw anything away, Karen," I said. "You did that the first time you spread your legs for Phillipe." Karen wiped a tear from her eye, then picked up a pen and signed the papers. The notary my attorney brought stamped and signed the papers. My attorney gathered the paperwork and put it in his briefcase.

"I'll file this with the court today," he said. "You'll get the final decree in a few months."

"Thank you," I said. I turned back to Karen. "When my rehab is over, I'll be by to pick up the rest of my things. I don't want much, just my clothes, tools and my electronic gear. I'll call you and make arrangements."

"Okay," she said. "Do you want my rings?" I shook my head.

"No," I said. "I gave them to you. They're yours to do with as you please."

"I'm so sorry, Rob," she said. "I still love you and I always will. Please believe that." I nodded my head, saying nothing. She left the room in tears. I signed the paperwork giving my lawyer power of attorney to handle the bank accounts and other legal papers regarding the house.

About three weeks later, I was released from rehab. By then, my lawyer had given me a check for my half of our bank accounts. The doctors and counselors gave me my marching orders, which basically amounted to, "eat right, exercise and keep my stress level down." I called Kirk to let him know I would be in Cincinnati soon, and he gave me the address of the apartment the company had set up for me.

After calling Karen, I got into my truck, rented a small U-Haul trailer and went to the house. Karen answered after I rang the doorbell and let me in. She looked like she had aged ten years since I saw her last. I walked in and found that she and Avril had already boxed up my clothing and electronics. A large television sat next to the boxes. I spot-checked the boxes and found everything was neatly folded and packed away. They had even given me a few dishes, pots and pans for my new apartment and Karen had packed some photos of our children.

"We wanted to make sure you had everything you needed for your new place," Karen said. I thanked her for that. I loaded everything up and was surprised when they handed me a chest full of food and beverages.

"What's this for?" I asked.

"I wanted you to have enough food for your trip," Karen said, tears in her eyes. I set the chest down and opened my arms to hug her. She flew into my arms and held me tight, sobbing.

"Oh God, Rob," she cried. "I'm so very sorry. I'll always love you." I held her tight for a while and remembered the last time we did this as husband and wife.

"I'll always love you, too," I said. It was true. Even though she hurt me badly, I knew I would always have feelings for her. Avril came over to us and hugged us both, crying. We held each other like that for a few minutes. I broke the hug and looked at them, tears threatening to fall down my face.

"I'd better get going," I said.

"Okay, Rob," Karen said. "Please let us know when you get there. And remember, we love you." I smiled and nodded my head.

"I'll call when I get there," I said. I left, and saw them standing in the yard, waving as I drove off.

I got to my new place in Cincinnati, unpacked and returned the trailer. I called Karen and gave her my new address. She ended the call by telling they both loved me.

I got settled into my new apartment and checked the area out. I had always loved Albany, but I grew to love Cincinnati. Kirk, knowing my personal situation, invited me to spend Thanksgiving with his family, so I graciously accepted.

Christmas came a few weeks later, the one holiday I knew I would dread. Christmas had always been a special time for our family, and it felt odd and lonely not having anyone to celebrate it with. I decided to volunteer at a local homeless shelter over the holiday, thinking that would help take my mind off my loneliness.

As I served food and spoke with the homeless families there, I remembered something my grandfather had once said: "I felt sorry for myself because I had no shoes. Then I met a man who had no feet." That certainly seemed to apply here.

I was surprised when I got a Christmas card from both my sons, but was even more surprised when I got a nice card from Karen and Avril. It was signed: "We both love you and miss you very much." At first I felt bad because I hadn't sent anything to anyone. I called my sons, who told me Karen and Avril were in Montreal. I called Simone and Georges and spoke with them, then talked with Karen and Avril.