As The Mouse Clicks

Author's Note: I want to give you some background on this very, very, short story. Back in 2000, I had a roommate. We were both in a Yahoo! Club called Michigan BBWs and every now and then after I got home from work (around 2:30am), I'd get online and just post this really bizarre, off the wall stuff. I was bored and needed to calm down after a stressful day. When I think back to some of the stuff I posted, I wish now that I had saved more of those posts to share.

Anyway, my roommate would usually read over my shoulder and throw in her thoughts here and there. But on this one particular night, I told her to help me come up with something totally and completely out of the ordinary, and the story below is the result...ENJOY!!

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When last we left them, Bolt and Paige were in the throws of passion when Bolt's ex-wife, Rainbow, (who as y'all remember was presumed dead when her hot air balloon sprung a leak over the Swiss Alps) appeared on his doorstep, announcing she had found her twin sister, Brite, who was stolen at birth, by the diabolical henchman, Jack.

Brite, who is married and living a quiet and somewhat normal life as a cheese taster, wanted nothing more than to have a child but was unable to conceive on her own. Rainbow volunteered to serve as a surrogate mother, that's why she was gone for such a long time.

After filling Bolt in about the last 18 months of her life, she noticed Paige in the bedroom and became enraged. Rainbow vowed to get revenge on him for his infidelities, reminding him that they were still married, since after all, she IS still alive.

Meanwhile, back at Grace Charity Hospital, Dr. Bouregard Hunter (Bo Hunter for short) was preparing to do emergency surgery on Lexus, an eight year old golden retriever mix (did we mention Grace Charity Hospital was a veterinary hospital?) who had swallowed a bomb. (GEEZ! Talk about indigestion!)

He evacuated the clinic except for Roberta, his assistant. They had retrieved the bomb, but were unsure if they should cut the red or the blue wire, and upon examining the bomb closer, they discovered that there was no red or blue wire, but rather, fuscia and chartreuse.

With 30 seconds left on the timer, Bolt bolted through the door (after all, Bolt does work on the Bomb Squad) to save the day. However, in the process of diffusing the bomb, Bolt slipped in a pile of poop, hitting his head against the operating table, rendering him unconscious. When he came to, he thought he was only nine years old and kept screaming for his mother, Sally, who died in a freak washing machine accident. (Dont ask!)

Dr. Bo Hunter grabbed the bomb, threw it out the window and it landed on Bolt's car, blowing it and everything around it to smithereens. Roberta sprang to the phone to call Paige. Paige, who was on her way to the spa, had heard of the situation at the clinic and rushed to be at Bolt's side. When she arrived she was heart broken to learn that Bolt thought that she was his mother, not his fiancée. After a few visits to the local psychiatrist, he seemed to be fine.

***

(we will return to the second half of "As The Mouse Clicks" after this message from our sponsor....)

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(and now, back to the show)

***

Meanwhile, Marlowe, who is Dr Hunter's 18 year old daughter, had been getting very addicted to internet chat rooms. She was posing as a 21 year old exotic dancer named HootrGrl. She had made plans to meet up with BigWillie in Las Vegas. BigWillie, who she thought was a 19 year old construction worker, was actually Wilbur, a married 49 year old pig farmer.

Upon arriving in Vegas, Marlowe went to the hotel that she was to meet BigWillie at and checked into their room. Horrified at the site of him and thinking she had confused the room, she tried to leave but Wilbur put his pork sandwich aside and grabbed her. He apologized for lying, but he had found her just too irresistible. She listened to his story of his horrible wife, Beula.

Marlowe found herself strangely attracted to Wilbur, despite his looks and the age difference. She confessed she was only 18 and he didn't care. They began planning ways to dispose of Beula. Being that neither of them had a lot of money, hiring a hitman was out of the question, so Wilbur decided to stage an accident back on his pig farm in Omaha.

Once Marlowe was back home, her father, Dr. Bo Hunter, told her that her real mother was Rainbow, Bolt's ex-wife, and that Paige was really her sister. He also told her that she had a long lost uncle living in Omaha as a pig farmer. Devastated, Marlowe ran away from home and became a nun and was never heard from again.

Bolt had a relapse that was uncurable and is currently residing at the local psychiatric hospital where he has a strong relationship with a sock puppet named Bo-Bo.

Paige won the lottery and is currently touring the world under the alias of Carmel Apple.

Rainbow and Dr. Bo Hunter began dating after she gave birth to septuplets for her sister, Brite.

And so goes another day on "As The Mouse Clicks."