Back to School

She spent most of the day finishing up the reading for other classes while checking out some help-wanted ads. Around 4:30 she decided to change because well...well because. She couldn't think of a reason she actually needed to change just to study with someone but did so anyway.

She'd worn a comfortable gray sweatshirt and some blue lounge pants around the house all day. After taking a lot more time than was necessary, she finally settled on a coral-colored sweater with long sleeves and some black pants. She even thought about wearing heels until she realized how ridiculous that sounded. But there couldn't be any harm in adding in a gold chain and some earrings, could there? Of course not, so she did. There also couldn't be anything wrong with a small amount of eye shadow along with her normal amount of mascara. Another no-brainer. And then she realized that if she got dinner ready in time, she could still do her nails in a color that went with her top and dry them before he arrived. Wasn't that also something women did every day?

Claire had always enjoyed cooking and she decided to make sautéed chicken, mushroom and pea penne pasta, an easy but delicious meal. She had white wine chilling in the fridge and once things were all set, she quickly but carefully did her nails, frantically waving her hands around to dry them faster.

Everything was ready to go right at six which was exactly when the doorbell rang. "It's just dinner. It's just studying. It's just a paper." Claire repeated each of those lines twice on the way to the door. She stopped, took a deep breath, then opened the door.

"Hi, Aidan!" she said smiling brightly. "Please come in."

"Hi," he said smiling himself. "And...wow. You look amazing. I've never studied with anyone who looked this nice before."

Claire was furious when it happened again. Fortunately, she didn't blush too heavily this time, but this was getting ridiculous. Yes, he was cute, but he was a kid for goodness sake. It had to be due to the fact she hadn't really dated in forever and being around any cute male was the reason. Even so, it was very unsettling to do something she hadn't done since junior high school and do it so often.

As he came inside he said, "Something smells amazing! What's for dinner?"

"Sautéed chicken," she said. "I hope that's okay."

"I'm young, single, and starving. Anything's okay. Trust me."

"You just had to mention young, didn't you?" Claire teased.

"Sorry. Would young-er work better for you?" he teased back.

"It would be little bett-er," she said running with it one more time.

After dinner Aidan told her, "That was the best meal I've had in a very long time. I had no idea you were such a good cook."

"Thanks. I enjoy cooking. I enjoy it more when I have someone to cook for who appreciates it," she told him. "Do you want some more wine?"

"No thank you," he told her. "I'm gonna need a clear head to be able to spin my bullshit...sorry...my BS."

"You don't have to apologize. Profanity doesn't offend me until it gets to be gratuitous."

"I don't swear like a drunken sailor if that's what you're referring to. I just remember you telling me you enjoy being a woman and I'm the kind of guy who prefers to treat a woman like a lady...unless, of course, she swears like a drunken sailor."

Claire laughed and said, "Then it's not a problem," she assured him. Had she had one more glass of wine she'd have said, "It's not a fucking problem," but she couldn't bring herself to say it even though it struck her as being very funny.

"Okay, so are you ready to get started on our paper?" she asked.

"Definitely," Aidan told her. "I don't like procrastinating."

"Let me guess. You're always on time, too."

"Guilty," he said. "You?"

"On both counts," she said with a laugh.

"See? We are kindred spirits!"

They spent the next three hours working up an outline and sharing ideas as they did their best to support the former administration's decision to invade Iraq stressing everything they could find to show how the decision was legal and had bi-partisan support. Neither of them could stomach trying to make it sound moral or ethical, but they tried focusing in on the possibility the president didn't lie but actually believed the CIA/MI-5/6 reports about WMD in Iraq.

"Okay. I'd say we've spun a pretty good tale here," Aidan said as they revised their summary a third time.

"Yeah, I almost believe what we wrote," she said as word-smithed the last paragraph. The tapped out the final touch-up one last time and declared, "Done!"

Aidan offered her a high five and said, "A second glass of wine sounds like it might be order now."

"I couldn't agree more," Claire told him. "And I want to hear more about your company and your future plans, okay?"

"Be careful what you wish for," he called out to her as she went into the kitchen. "I may put you to sleep in short order."

She handed him a glass and sat across from him. Aidan said, "How about a toast to kindred spirits?"

"I like the sound of that," Claire told him truthfully and with a warm smile.

After a first sip she said, "So what's next for you, Aidan? Keep growing the business?"

"For now, yes," he told her. "In fact, we're opening an office next week. I was going to mention it at some point because I'd like you to be there."

"Really? That's wonderful! Of course I'll be there. Wow, that's really something. Where's it going to be located?"

"For now, it'll be out of my parents' home. We live in a rare area zoned for both business and residential and we just got permission to work from the house. I'm not even gonna tell you how much it cost just to get the approval."

"Did you know in Hong Kong you can open a business in 24 hours with one piece of paper?"

"I did," he told her. "It's amazing what you can do when government gets the hell out of the way."

"So is the moving business your long-term goal, as well?" she asked out of genuine interest.

"Yes and no. I'd like to grow it and maybe eventually turn it over to someone else to run so I can pursue another goal I've had for several years."

"What goal is that?" Claire asked sitting up straight wanting to hear more.

"Well, I want to join the FBI after I graduate in June."

Claire's eyes opened wide as she said, "Really? Wow. You are aiming high." She took another sip then asked, "So what is it that appeals to you about becoming an FBI agent?"

"Several things, I guess. I was in the Marine Corps for four years. In fact, I'm still in the reserves which is why I wear my hair like this. I also...."

"Hold on for a second. You were in the military? So you're not 21 or 22?"

Aidan smiled and told her, "No. I'm 25 and will turn 26 just before I graduate. Why? Does that matter to you for some reason?"

Claire was actually thrilled to learn he wasn't as young as she'd thought. She was also puzzled because he looked SO young. Perhaps it was just that his being a lot younger than her and having thought he was even younger than he was since she met him accounted for her misperceptions. Even so, she wasn't sure why it mattered or why she suddenly felt heartened by this revelation. "Oh, it's not important at all," she said trying to convince herself that was true. "I guess I just assumed you were a typical senior who came to the UW right out of high school."

"No, I joined the Marine Corps right out of high school mostly for the GI Bill. I also got to um...see the world...courtesy of Uncle Sam."

"As in...war?" she asked tentatively.

"Just one tour in Afghanistan," he replied. "But that eight months was enough to last a lifetime."

"I'll bet," she said. "I don't even want to ask what you saw."

"Thank you," he told her. "I don't like talking about it. But being on active duty got me thinking—a LOT—about future careers, you know? This moving business happened on a whim and it's fine, but I want something I can really feel proud of. Owning a business is great and so is helping people move. I mean, someone's gotta do it, right? But it isn't exactly satisfying to pick furniture up and set it back down. It's a paycheck, and we all need money, but I want more out of life than that. Don't get me wrong. I like money. I'm just not wired to pursue it above all else."

Claire took another sip of wine and said, "I'm not only surprised by all of this, I'm very impressed. You have so much going for you so early in life and well, as I said before, you are a very nice-looking guy."

"Hunky I believe was the word you used to describe me," he said with a laugh.

"Well, it's true," she said not sure why she said it. "You are kind of...hunky."

"So tell me about you for a while, Claire. Or...yourself, if you're a stickler for grammar."

"Me? Hah! What's to tell? I already told you I dropped out of college my senior year, married Michael, got played for a fool, and now I'm on the verge of being divorced. I'm back in school and still looking for a job. End of story."

"I don't think that's the end of the story," he replied. "You strike me as someone who wants more out of life. What is you want, Claire? What matters to you?"

"You know, I really don't have big dreams in the sense of 'the greater good' or anything like you. I guess I'm your typical middle-aged woman who'd like to believe good men who won't cheat still exist and if I'm really lucky, maybe I'll find one and even raise a family before it's too late to do so. Other than that, I don't really have any burning ambitions." She finished her wine then added, "That sounds rather pathetic when I say it out loud."

"No it doesn't," Aidan told her. "It sounds like you know what you want. And for the record, you're hardly middle-aged. In fact, you're the perfect age at least as far as I'm concerned."

Claire shook her head as she closed her eyes and said, "Excuse me? I'm the perfect age? What am I missing here?"

"Evidently, a whole lot," he told her smiling his amazing smile.

"I must be because now I'm even more confused than I was. What kind of 'whole lot of things' am I missing, Aidan?"

"It isn't obvious to you?" he asked. She hated when someone answered her questions with another question.

"Why do I feel like I'm the only one here who has no idea what's going on?" she said doing the same thing to him.

"Because you are?" he answered with yet another question.

"I was thinking about having one more glass of wine, but if I'm this clueless, perhaps I should hold off."

"And I really should be going," he said setting his glass done only half finished. "I had a great time tonight, Claire. You truly are a kindred spirit."

Aidan stood up and offered Claire his hand to help her stand and the way he was looking at her caused her to wonder if perhaps the proverbial light bulb was coming on. Dimly, yes, but on, nevertheless.

"Kindred spirits. Right," she said letting go of his hand as though it might be radioactive.

"Oh, do you mind if I borrow our book until Tuesday's class?" he asked her.

"Not at all," she told him. She retrieved in and handed it to him then walked him to the door.

"So...I guess I'll see you in class then," he told her.

"Yes. See you in class—Tuesday."

"So...good night, Claire."

She'd been looking up into his eyes and suddenly found herself unable to keep looking. They seemed to be drawing her in like tractor beams or something. If she looked for just one more second.... She saw his hand reach out but she was so wrapped up in her fear of what might happen that she was unaware of her chin being gently lifted up or his lips softly pressing against hers. "Does that make things any clearer now?" he asked her quietly.

Claire's eyes met his again and as much as she wanted to speak, she couldn't. She wanted to tell him things were a lot more clear or maybe even that things were now much more confusing, but sound wouldn't come out.

"It shouldn't be this confusing for someone as smart as you," he told her with a smile. He opened the door himself and walked out. He gave another stiff-arm wave goodbye, but Claire's hands and arms weren't working, either. She managed to close the door and stood there unable to think, speak, or move. After what seemed like hours but in reality was only a few seconds, Claire robotically picked up the two wine glasses and took them to the kitchen sink. "What just happened here?" she finally said to herself in a whisper.

That night, she had the dream again. The big wave washed over them and when it passed he was inside her filling her completely. This time, she cried out in pleasure as her body shook when she felt him come inside her. The feelings were so intense and so real, she wasn't sure she hadn't actually had a first-ever orgasm while sleeping.

"Get hold of yourself," she thought as she sleepily opened her eyes and shook her head to start her day.

On both Tuesday and Thursday, she felt so out of sorts around Aidan she barely spoke. She did her best to try and be polite, but something in their relationship had changed and the change was so palpable, she could feel it every time he spoke or even just looked at her.

After class on Thursday, he waited outside the room for her. "May I walk you to class?" he asked with a smile.

"Oh, hey. I wasn't expecting you to be there," she said feeling that new feeling welling up inside her again.

"I hope I didn't disappoint you," he said with mock seriousness. "Would you prefer someone else's company?"

She shook her head slowly and said quietly, "No. No, I wouldn't. I...I like your company, Aidan."

"I was beginning to wonder," he told her as they walked toward the cafeteria. "You've barely said two words the last two times we've been in class together. Is everything okay?"

She stopped in the hallway and turned toward him. "You kissed me," she said looking up at him while holding her books in front of her body.

"Uh-oh. Is this a complaint?" he asked tilting his head waiting for her to answer.

"No. Definitely not," she said. "I just don't understand why. That's all."

He smiled so broadly she thought he was going to laugh and her first thought was he was laughing at her. "What's so funny?" she asked him.

"Nothing," he said slightly shaking his head. "Let me see if I can explain this. You may have heard that sometimes when a boy likes a girl, he shows that he likes her by kissing her. Have you heard that before, Claire?"

She narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips and said, "Once or twice maybe."

"Then how is it you're still confused? Am I that bad of a kisser or am I just not attractive to you?" Before she could answer he said, "I've never had any complaints about my kissing skills before so I can only assume I must not be good enough looking." He paused for a second and said, "As much as that bothers me, I can at least live with that because I can see how a woman as attractive as you are might be looking to meet someone better looking than yours truly."

"Aidan, I'm going to be 35 in a few weeks. I'm not all that great at math but I can subtract. That's TEN years difference. It makes no sense why such a handsome, very young guy would even be remotely interested in someone TEN years older than him."

"Hmmm. I never thought of it like that. You're right. You're going to be collecting social security any day now and in a wheelchair soon after that." He smiled at her and said, "I owe you a huge debt of gratitude. I almost asked out a woman who's funeral services I'll be attending before the school year's out. Thank you for that, Claire."

When he saw she wasn't laughing—or even smiling—he said, "That was meant to be funny not to hurt your feelings. If I did I'm...."

"You didn't hurt my feelings. But if you did ask me out I'm afraid I'd say 'yes' and that scares the dickens out of me."

"Why? What's scary about a date?" he asked her. "Especially with a kindred spirit?"

"Nothing," she replied quietly. "But not being asked on a second date is waht's scary. I...I don't do the hook up thing and I really...."

He put his hands on her shoulders and said, "I never took you for a pessimist, but you're looking at the glass as half empty. What if it's half full, Claire? What if I ask you out a second time and a third, or even a fourth?"

"I guess I'm just...maybe...I'm afraid."

"Afraid of what?" he asked.

"Of being hurt again," she said without looking up. "I told myself I wasn't going to date for a while and I thought I really meant it."

"But?" he said waiting for her to tell him the rest of the story.

"I didn't count on meeting someone like you." Her voice was small and weak and she'd stopped looking at him again.

"Come on, let's go get our coffee and I'm paying this time."

As they sipped the hot brew, Aidan said, "I tend to be too direct sometimes. That can be a huge plus in many instances, but it can also be a very big negative in others. But good or bad, that's just me." He reached out for her hand and waited as she hesitated before offering it to him. "I like you a lot, Claire." He put his other hand on hers and it held it with both of his. "I'm no Romeo or Casanova, but I've dated quite a few girls. I've just never met anyone—of any age—that I've liked as much as I like you. I can't change the year I was born and neither can you. And frankly? I don't care when you were born. All I care about is how you make me feel when I'm around you and I've felt that way since the first time I saw you in the bookstore. I don't want to scare you off so I won't tell you how you make me feel. I just want you to know that I think you're beautiful, smart, funny, and someone who sees the world like me and I'd really like to get to know you better."

Without looking up, Claire said very quietly, "I could have said those very same words about you, Aidan."

"Then what's wrong?" he asked as he held her hand in his.

"That scares me. That's all. I never once dreamed I might have feelings for someone...for anyone...this soon after my marriage ended let alone feelings like...these."

"I can't promise one or both of us might not get hurt. I can only promise I'll never hurt you intentionally. But I don't want to miss the opportunity to find out if there's something real here, Claire. That's what scares me."

"Me, too," she told him. "Even more than the fear of getting hurt."

"So will you go out with me?"

Claire's hand was trembling in his as she said, "Okay. Yes. I'll go out with you."

"We can start by calling tomorrow a date if that's okay with you. You haven't forgotten, have you?"

"Of course not. You're opening your office. I didn't forget. I was actually looking forward to it. You know, before I had to confront these feelings and could tell myself it was just sharing something important with a really nice guy." She put her other hand on his and said, "I really like you too, Aidan." He went to speak but she cut him off saying, "I hadn't had a single happy moment in my life since Michael told me about the affair. Not one. Until I met you in the book store. Since then, I've been happy—and confused and scared—every minute since then. I'm such a pragmatic person and pragmatically speaking, this—you and me—makes no sense. But in every other way I find myself wanting to be with you...." She looked right into his eyes and said, "Every minute of every day."

Aidan stood up without letting go of her hand with one of his own, moved around the table and leaned down and kissed her. This time she put her hand on his cheek and kissed him back. Claire didn't care who was watching or what anyone might be thinking as the kiss lasted for several seconds with the briefest of moments at the end where his tongue met hers sending a bolt of electricity through her body.

"Wow. You really are a good kisser," she said as he raised up.

"You're not so bad yourself...Mom," he teased.