Bad Moon Rising

I took one of her hands in mine and lifted it to my mouth so that I could kiss and suck each finger in turn. I held her soft palm to my lips and licked it lightly, covering it fully with the tip of my tongue. I flicked my tongue between her fingers and sucked each one again before gently biting the mound of Venus at the base of her thumb. First kissing the back of her hand several times, I moved my lips and tongue to the inside of her wrist to kiss and nip all the way up her forearm to the hollow of her elbow. I lifted her other hand to treat it in the same way. Amber's hands were probably the loveliest I had ever held or had caressed with my mouth and tongue.

I continued with my feather-light fingertip strokes round Amber's shoulders and from her upper arms to the warmth of her underarms where a soft down had appeared during her long period of incapacity. Now I'm an advocate of smooth underarms but this felt so sensuous that I could feel myself starting to become aroused. I quashed the feeling as well as I could. This was for Amber, not me, and I couldn't afford to forget that.

I moved my hands round, one to massage Amber's upper chest, the other to turn her head towards me so that I could plant gossamer kisses between her eyes and down her nose, finishing with a kiss that barely brushed her lips.

I slid my hands down so that I could cup her breasts. Her stubby nipples were hard and I could feel her areolas pebbling as I ran my fingers around them in circles. Taking a nipple between each thumb and forefinger, I tugged at them and squeezed very gently. Leaving one hand where it was to continue playing with Amber's boobs, I rubbed her soft belly with the other. It seemed to be rather more plump just below her belly-button and caressing it gave me as much pleasure as I hoped Amber was feeling. Almost as if she could read my thoughts, Amber emitted several small moans. As I played with her boobs and belly I nipped the nape of her neck, not too hard yet not too soft, soothing each fresh nip with the point of my tongue.

Her inner thighs quivered under my hands and I tickled the hollows at the top of Amber's legs before running my fingers lightly round the outer lips of her pussy. Sliding a finger up and down her cleft, I found that this time she was very wet and slippery and I was able to insert my finger as far as our awkward sitting position allowed. "Give me your hand, Amber," I said.

I guided her to her clit and with my hand on top began to make circular motions around the tiny pearl, at the same time introducing two fingers of my other hand into the moist folds of her pussy. Amber moaned again and her breathing was becoming slower and heavier. Increasing the pressure on her clit, I managed to find the spongy tissue of her g-spot and rubbed it. Amber gave a loud cry and then she came hard, her vagina pulsing heavily on my fingers. I didn't let up but continued using both our hands to stimulate clit and g-spot. Amber had barely come down from her orgasm when she began to pant rapidly as another built up. The second time she came was more powerful than the first and her whole body seemed to jerk and shake as she cried out several times before collapsing back against me. I carefully eased my fingers from her pussy and brought them up to my face. They were thick with shining come and I put them into my mouth, one-by-one, to clean them. The tangy taste of the nectar was so good that I couldn't help two or three little moans of my own.

Amber half-turned, throwing an arm around my neck and kissing my cheek. She was crying but the look of joy on her face told me they were tears of relief. "Cerys, that was so wonderful. Thank you..."

I held her, soothing her, and we stayed that way for some time until I heard the slam of a car door. "The nurse is here, Amber. You'd better get your pyjamas on while I go to meet her."

As I left the room Amber whispered something. My hearing's quite good and I'm fairly sure she said: "I love you, Cerys..."

* * * * *

Amber decided that the time had come to see if she was capable of working again. We consulted Doctor Premnath and he agreed that it might be a good thing on condition that Amber felt up to it. "I can't just not do anything for ever," she told me, "I'm feeling as fit as I'm ever likely to. Alibert's medical insurance has kept my private treatment going so I think I owe them something in return. I'll make enquiries about returning to work."

I took Amber to Alibert Securities, to an appointment with their head of Human Resources. They were a successful and wealthy company judging by their entrance hall with its dove-grey tiled floor, marble columns which gleamed and polished wood reception desk. And yet to me there was something cold and unfriendly about the place... The icy blonde manning the reception desk certainly didn't radiate warmth and welcome, looking at me as if I were a street person who'd wandered in by accident. Perhaps I was just being oversensitive. For weeks I'd been surprised by the fact that nobody from the company had ever visited Amber or even enquired after her welfare despite the fact that she was a top employee.

The HR director, a man called Costigan, came to meet Amber, doing nothing to disguise his shock at the sight of her face. Amber tried to introduce me but he barely glanced my way before taking her to his office., leaving me to sit and admire the floors and the columns. I wasn't even offered a tea or coffee. Not the kind of place I'd want to do business with. Perhaps if I'd been visibly stinking rich my treatment might have been different.

After half-an-hour or so the two returned, Amber looking visibly upset. They shook hands briefly and that seemed to be that. I knew by now that I had grown very fond of Amber and couldn't let the evident lack of compassion go by unquestioned. As we left the building, I asked Amber to wait for me by the Land Rover and dashed back inside to catch Costigan before he returned to his office.

"Mr Costigan, will you please tell me why no-one from the company ever visited or even phoned Amber during her convalescence?" I was becoming indignant and forced myself to be calm. "It was as if nobody cared. Seems a shoddy way to treat a valued employee."

His glare was angry and for a moment I thought he was going to tell me to mind my own business then he said: "Perhaps nobody did care. How well do you know Ms Lytton?"

"Not very well, I suppose. I've only known her for the few weeks I've been her carer."

"So you really don't know her, do you? True, Ms Lytton was one of our most effective employees, she's an expert in her field and helped keep the company on top. She was also probably the most unpopular employee we've ever had. She trod on too many toes on her way up, didn't care who she hurt. In fact, we've long suspected her of using unethical methods to get rid of people she perceived as being in her way but she was far too skilful for us to prove anything. Frankly, I can assure you that most people here wouldn't have cared if she'd died in that accident, including me. And that's why we treated her so 'shoddily'. For your information, we replaced her some time ago. Nobody's indispensible and there are plenty of experts out there. Now if you'll excuse me..."

You lousy bastard! I thought as I put out a hand to detain him. "Supposing I told you that she has changed, that she's not like that now..."

"A leopard doesn't change its spots," he scoffed and walked off before I could say more. So that was Amber, the most effective employee, dismissed as a cliché. The ice queen at reception smirked as I turned to leave so I smiled sweetly and gave her the finger. Petty but it made me feel better.

When I reached the Land Rover, Amber was leaning against it as if defeated and she had obviously been crying. "They don't want me, Cerys. I couldn't remember anyone there but they clearly knew me. Nobody asked how I am, if I'm well now. And there was nothing but dislike, perhaps even hatred, in the eyes of the people I did see. I've been offered redundancy on health grounds and I guess I'll take it. They used my memory problems as the reason but it was so obvious that I wouldn't be welcomed back. Cerys, why do people dislike me so much?"

"I think we'd better have a word with Lydia," I told her, "Not Mary... Lydia."

A couple of days later, with Mary out shopping, we sat down with Lydia. First I told Amber of what I'd heard then Lydia spoke. She pulled no punches, telling Amber exactly what she had been like to be so detested in two towns. When she finished, Amber's tears were flowing and I had trouble holding mine back. "How could I have been like that? Cerys... Lydia... I don't want to be that person any more..."

I took her into a hug, holding her shaking body closely. "You won't be if I have anything to do with it, Amber," I said, "And forget about owing Alibert's—you'll have helped pay for that insurance through your salary. Now you owe the cold-hearted buggers nothing."

Lydia and I went to prepare lunch that day and I said: "I know Mary's unlikely to accept it but I truly believe that Amber has changed. What do you think?"

Lydia considered. "Yes..." she was slightly hesitant and then more positive, "Yes, I think she has changed for the better. The only thing is, will it last?"

* * * * *

I had thought that Amber's rejection by her former company might leave her depressed but within several days she had cheered up. "Who the hell needs them?" she asked, "There must be more to life than Alibert Securities. Don't know what I'm going to do but there'll be something." Which gave me an idea although I decided to keep it to myself until the time was right.

Doctor Premnath came to visit Amber. After checking her over he said: "Physically you seem to be fine—barring any relapse, I think we only need see you every six to twelve months. Any problems you'd like to discuss?"

"My memory," Amber told him, "I can't remember anything before the accident. Although that's not quite accurate. I can recall all the everyday things. I know instinctively that I'm gay—" she looked doubtfully at the doctor as if expecting disapproval but he just smiled and gestured her to continue, "—My vocabulary is unaffected, I remember about IT systems, general knowledge, stuff like that. All that seems to be hardwired into me. It's me I can't remember, the personal things. I've no idea what I was like as a person. If it wasn't for people like Cerys and Lydia I wouldn't even know who I am. I can't remember this house, or the people I worked with or others I knew before or what our relationships were like. I didn't know that woman who said she was my solicitor. I don't even know why I was out driving that night. So much of me is missing..." There was a catch in her voice and I put out a hand for her to hold.

Doctor Premnath nodded in sympathy. "You have what we call retrograde amnesia. I'm sorry but it's likely to be permanent. The only comfort I can offer is that your memory from when you awoke should be okay. Another thing, because of the brain injuries you could start to suffer from epilepsy. I'm not saying you will but it's a possibility."

"So I'm likely to have seizures and fall down foaming at the mouth." Amber brightened a little. "You see, I know what epilepsy is."

"There, cling on to the things you do know," the doctor approved, "Try not to fret about the things you can't recall. As for seizures, they may not necessarily be of the 'falling down and foaming' type. Epilepsy is a bit of a blanket term—different patients are affected in different ways. For instance, some seizures may take the form of apparent out-of-body experiences which can be quite scary until you're used to them. And it can have adverse effects on the memory. But this is only a possibility. It might not happen. I'll prescribe medications which will help although it may take a while to find the correct balance.. But your life can be good, Amber, you'll just be starting from scratch, a tabula rasa as it were. It's up to you what you make of it." He gave me a keen look. "I think with Cerys here, you have a friend who can give you a great deal of support."

As I saw the doctor out I asked him: "Can head and brain injuries alter a person's personality?"

"It's quite common," he said, "Has that happened with Amber?"

"I believe so."

"For the worse, perhaps?"

"I didn't know her before the accident," I said, "but from what others have told me, it seems to have been very much for the better."

"Mmm, that's less common but not unknown."

"Is there likely to be a reversal?"

The doctor shrugged. "It's possible, every patient is different. But in my experience personality changes following head trauma usually tend to be permanent."

Which is what I'd hoped to hear.

* * * * *

A few days later a policeman came to visit Amber, a Sergeant McKeown from the traffic division. He brought flowers with him which was a decent gesture because he had no need to do so. After all the usual questions about how Amber was doing and so on, he said: "I've got some bad news, Ms Lytton. The other driver, Poulton, was on the road illegally—he was already serving a lengthy ban for drink-driving so he had no licence and therefore no insurance. Cover for your car will have to come from your own insurance. If you want compensation you'll have to sue Poulton in the civil courts. I'm sure a court would award you substantial damages but getting the money out of Poulton would be a problem. Anyway, he's behind bars now so a civil court award is unlikely to do any good."

Amber shrugged. "Okay, I'll claim the cost of my car from my insurance. But I won't be buying another one," she said, "My doctor told me that because of my head injury I might be subject to fits and therefore potentially dangerous on the roads. I've surrendered my licence already."

The sergeant nodded in sympathy. "Wish more people would show the same common sense. It would make our job easier."

"You said the other driver's in prison?" I butted in.

"Yes, thankfully we got a tougher than normal judge on this case. Poulton got six years and a ten-year driving ban starting when he gets out. Don't believe for a minute he'll observe it. He's shown no remorse for the collision and Ms Lytton's injuries and he's filled with self-pity, sees himself as the victim of serious injustice. I'd bet a tenner that he'll be back inside within a year of his release."

"Or dead," I said.

Sergeant McKeown gave a sober nod. "Yes, or dead," he agreed, "Although the trouble with bastards like him is it's usually other people they kill."

* * * * *

Now that Amber was up and about I observed the common courtesies. I knocked gently at her bedroom door before stepping into the room. Amber, fully dressed, was standing in front of the large cheval mirror, leaning towards it to peer closely, apparently examining her face. I saw her raise a hand to explore her broken nose and scars and the stubble covering her head. Her touch was soft as if to avoid causing further damage.

Amber became aware of my presence and turned, giving me a wry little smile. "What with this and possible epilepsy and most people hating me for the bad things I've done, poetic justice wouldn't you say?"

For a minute I wasn't quite sure how to respond. "I don't think anyone deserves that," I said after a brief moment's thought.

As far as I could tell, there was neither resentment nor bitterness on Amber's face. "I've tried but I haven't remembered anything yet," she told me, "Probably won't anyway, thinking on what the doc said about retrograde amnesia and possible epilepsy. Don't think I want to remember really. I've heard enough to know that I was a pretty odious piece of work—I guess you might say spite was my mantra. You know, Cerys, I guess the old me would have been dying for vengeance on the drunk who did this to me. However, maybe he did me a favour. Now I feel nothing for him, except perhaps forgiveness."

"Well, I didn't know the old Amber," I said, "though what I've learned about her wasn't good. And you've heard stuff from Lydia. I don't think Mary Tallis will forgive you easily for what you did—or tried to do—to her granddaughter Hal. Mary's a good soul and she's given it her best shot to help you get well but what you did to Hal and her girlfriend was just plain nasty. While I believe you're a different person now, I'm not sure people like Mary will accept the change so readily."

Amber slumped down on the edge of the bed. "You and Lydia told me I tried to hurt Hal and—what was the other girl's name, Lydia's daughter...?"

"Berry," I prompted.

"Oh yes, Berry. I don't really know what I did or why, been told I tried to break them up out of spite. Lydia said there was another woman involved, a friend of theirs..."

"Tina, maybe," I said, "she's a barmaid at some local lesbian club. I've been told that Hal and Berry were breaking their hearts and Tina persuaded you to tell the truth about what you'd done." I said nothing more about that to Amber but from what Mary had said, Tina's powers of persuasion were a bit on the rough side.

"What happened with Hal and Berry?"

"Oh, everything's fine with them. They're married now."

"Good, I'm pleased about that." Amber shook her head with what appeared to be genuine remorse on her poor, broken face. "What can I do, Cerys? About the people I've hurt, I mean."

I sat down beside her, taking one of her hands between mine. "I've heard that in Alcoholics Anonymous, one of the steps to recovery is to try to make amends with those people your actions have hurt. It might be difficult for you with the amnesia but you could always give it a try, even if it means just writing a letter of apology. I'm sure Lydia would distribute it to the people she knows of. Only if you're truly sincere, though, and only when you're ready."

Amber squeezed my hand. "Thanks, Cerys. The sincerity's genuine enough and perhaps when I'm ready..." She stood and went back to the mirror, touching her face again. "Whatever, I'll always have this to remind me. Guess I'm in for a long, lonely life. Who could be interested in me now with a face like this?"

"I could."

Amber spun round, astonished. "You could? You must be joking."

Standing, I went to her and cupped her face in my hands. Leaning forward, I gave her a long and gentle kiss on the mouth. "You forget, I didn't know the old Amber. I only know the new one and I think she's here to stay. And I'm interested in the new Amber. And I think it was that visit to Alibert's that made me realise how I feel about you."

Tears filled Amber's eyes as she raised a hand to her cheek. "But I'm so ugly..."

"You're not ugly, Amber, not to me. You've got a damaged face, yes, but I hope I can see beyond that. Truth be told, you were probably more ugly when you were beautiful because your beauty was just a façade—the ugliness was deep inside you. That seems to be gone now. But you know, if you're really upset about your face you can always consider cosmetic surgery."

Amber pondered for a moment, shook her head and made what I thought was a very brave decision. "No, I think I'll stay the way I am. It'll remind me of what I was and what I've become. Cerys, did you really mean it when you said you could be interested in me?"

"Yes, I really meant it—your looks don't matter a damn to me, it's the person inside. Anyway, God knows I'm no knockout—just an ordinary plain-faced Welsh lass from the Black Mountains."

Amber took hold of my hands. "You may be just an ordinary Welsh lass but you're certainly not plain-faced. You've got a very nice face and you've got beauty inside too. It shines out of you. Cerys, will you hold me for a minute, please?"