B&B

"I should probably get going, huh?" he asked his daughter.

"I guess so. Thanks for bringing me, Dad," she told him.

"I wouldn't have missed it for the world," he told her truthfully. "I'd apologize for staying three whole days, but knowing I'm saying goodbye forever, I won't."

She got up to hug her father. "Dad, it's not forever. It's only until Christmas break. I'll be back home the day after school's out."

Gary Fields knew it wasn't literally 'forever' but he also knew it would be in the sense she'd almost certainly never live at home again. She'd been his rock since her mother, Grace, had passed away a little over three years ago.

In many ways, his daughter Pamela, had been stronger than he'd been. Grace's death had devastated him and were it not for Pam, he felt certain he'd have found a way to be with his wife of 20 years by now. But Pam had some kind of unseen inner strength he admired and had leaned on time and time again just to get through one more day.

After her death, he'd buried himself in his work, but it just wasn't the same without her. The money kept rolling which was a good thing as his 'baby' would be going off to college in another two or three years, but he was bringing in far more than he spent. College wasn't an issue anymore because Grace insisted her husband pay for all four years of their daughter's tuition with the money he'd receive from her life insurance policy. The rest would go into investments until she went to school and be used to pay for room and board.

With college paid for and Gary having no desire to go anywhere or do anything, he was sure anything he earned would just sit in the bank and collect dust until death mercifully came one day and reunited him with the love of his life. And then—Pam could have it all. The house, the money, and anything else he owned at the time. They were just things and without either of his 'girls' at home, they were of little value to him.

His only child, his little girl, his daughter, was now safely at college, in her dorm room, and Fields really liked the nice young lady she had for a roommate. She was now completely set up, and Fields knew there was no justification for staying any longer so he hugged his daughter back—hard—and held her for a few seconds.

"You know how much I love you, right?" he said quietly.

"Yes. I love you too, Daddy," she said calling him by her childhood name for him for the first time in many years.

"Okay, then I guess it's time...for me...to head home," he said wiping away a tear he'd fought not to let fall.

"Hey, stop that!" Pamela said sweetly. She put her hand on his cheek and said, "Dad? You really need to find someone. I know you don't want to, but you need someone. You're only 41 and...well, all my friends say you're still really...handsome." She smiled then added, "Actually they say 'hot' but that's kind of creepy."

He smiled understanding how hearing that about her own father must make her feel. Still, Fields did say in excellent shape by swimming at least a mile every other day. Along with cooking, the career he often wished he'd chosen instead of real estate, swimming was his only other escape from the aching loneliness that never seemed to go away. As to Pam's friends, he also felt reasonably certain they would quickly add, "For a guy his age" when they said he was hot or whatever word kids used these days. Growing up, guys were called hunks and girls were babes. Now they were all just...overheated.

"So will you please promise me you'll at least try or at a minimum be open to looking for opportunities to find someone? Please?"

He wanted to tell her, "Sorry but—no. Not now, not ever," but couldn't. Anything his daughter wanted, she got. He hadn't always spoiled her and she had the character to prove it. But since her mom died, she was all he had and making her smile was the only thing he lived for. Okay, the perfect soufflé was pretty rewarding, but that was different. So when his Pammy wanted something, he gave it to her. In this case, he smiled and told her, "I can do that. The trying part, that is."

"So what are you going to do when you get home? Besides work?"

"The only thing I can think of is taking a trip to New England. It's the last part of the country I've never been to." He choked up briefly then fought it off. "Going alone doesn't seem like much fun, but next month is going to be beautiful up there."

"Oh, right! The leaves will be changing. Yeah, that'll be awesome. Take lots of pictures, okay, Dad?"

"I will, honey," he promised her. He held out his arms again and fighting back more emotion asked, "One more hug?"

"Yep. No problem!" she told him with a big smile as she did just that.

"Okay, then I'm outta here," he said reluctantly taking that first step out of her dorm room.

"Don't worry, Dad. I promise to call at least once a week and we can text all the time, okay?"

"Okay, honey. I'm gonna hold you to that," he said forcing a smile. "I love you, sweetie."

"I love you too, Dad!" she said as he turned and walked away. He swallowed hard several times and blinked several more then headed downstairs and out to the parking lot. He got in his car, looked at her dormitory one last time, then backed out and headed to Charlotte to start the rest of his life...truly alone. Maybe it was finally time to get the dog he'd promised Pam they'd get when she was five and every year until she quit asking but never did.

Pamela was less than three hours away at The University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill, but she may as well have been on the moon as far as Fields was concerned. He made it as far as High Point before pulling over into a rest stop. He parked as far as he could from other vehicles and sat there for a few seconds before letting it all out.

There was no stopping it this time. He'd put it on hold for the last three years only letting drips and drops find their way out. It was time. It had to happen. Tears quickly turned to crying which led to sobbing as memories from the past flooded over him. Meeting Grace, their first kiss, their engagement, the wedding, Pamela's birth, her first steps, learning to read and ride a bike, her first date, her mother's illness and suffering, her death, and finally Pam's graduation from high school and ending with him dropping her off at college. He sat there and waited for it to run his course before pouring some water from a plastic bottle into his hands and washing his face the best he could.

"You big baby," he said out loud as he looked at his puffy eyes in the mirror before getting back on the road.

By the time he got home, he couldn't believe the difference in his outlook. It was as if a kind of emotional dam had burst releasing a torrent of toxic emotion that had built up over the last three years. For the first time since his Grace's passing, he felt...different. Not good. Not okay. Just...better. A part of him even felt...hopeful...and that felt really good.

He felt good enough that he decided to go for a swim in the pool in his backyard. Some 75 laps later, he was both exhausted and exhilarated. He showered, dressed, made a very extravagant dinner for himself, then opened his laptop and started researching his first-ever trip to New England.

Other than the foliage, he had no real idea what there was to see and the thought of just driving around and looking at whatever he could find appealed to him. He planned to see everything he possibly could while staying somewhere in northern Vermont. The only real requirement was a swimming pool. He laughed when he realized it also had to be heated pool. North Carolina got chilly in October. Vermont had to be downright cold.

His choices were narrowed to two bed and breakfast inns and the final decision was made easy when he saw the size of their pools. One was barely 12 feet long while the other was a very respectable 24 feet. He picked up the phone and dialed the number while looking at various photos of the inn itself.

"Maple Leaf Inn," he heard a female voice say.

The Maple Leaf was in the town of Sheldon just south of the US-Canadian border. The inn had a rustic charm to it and the kind of pool Fields was looking for. Case closed.

"Yes," he replied. "I'm interested in making reservations for the first week of October if you have any rooms available."

"We do indeed!" he heard a cheerful voice reply. "We have two left."

He was looking at the choices on line and said, "Is the one that leads out to the pool one of them by any chance?"

"Oh, have you stayed with us before?" she asked.

"No. I'm looking at your rooms on line and that's the one I'd like if it's still available."

"Ah, that makes sense. Either way, you're in luck," she told him. "How many nights would you like?"

"Um...let's say three for now. Can I leave it open-ended?"

"Hmmm. That's our busiest time of the year with the foliage change," she told him. "But if you want to put down a deposit, I can book you for the three days and try to hold it for you after that. The day you arrive, you'll need to let me know for sure though, okay?"

"Deal," he said. "Sign me up!"

She asked for his name then said, "Did you say you'd stayed with us before?" she asked again. "I'm only asking because I just took over running the inn from my mom and dad and I don't know names so if you stayed here before, please forgive me."

"No. This is my first time," he told her.

"Okay. That's wonderful," she told him. "So...three nights. For how many people?"

Fields felt a lump in his throat and that sick feeling return. "Sir? I was wondering how many are in your party?"

He was trying to speak but still couldn't. He cleared his throat then finally said, "Sorry. I lost my wife a while back and it's still hard sometimes."

To his surprise, the voice on the other end didn't say, "I'm so sorry" or "Sorry for you loss." Instead he heard her say, "I understand. I lost my mom and dad to a drunk driver on the 4th of July. I...I quit my teaching job to come back and run the inn. I'm not sure how long I can do this but...." She stopped talking and said, "My apologies. I didn't mean to burden you with my loss on top of your own." She paused again then said, "It really sucks losing someone you love, doesn't it?"

"It really does," Fields said feeling less sorry for himself. "Are you thinking about possibly selling the inn?"

"I don't know," she replied thoughtfully. "I left here when I was 18 to go to college and vowed I'd never come back. Not because I didn't love my parents. I did. I loved them dearly. I just wanted no part in the family business. Growing up, I felt like I never had any real privacy, you know? There were always new strangers in my house. I got used to it, but I never liked it. After Mom and Dad died, there just wasn't anyone else to run the businsss and I had the summer off so I came back here tried to make sense of everything. By the time I got it all figured out, I needed to go back and start teaching, but I couldn't. So I'm taking a year off and giving this a go. I'm still not sure what I'll do yet, but I can tell you I really miss teaching."

"What grade?" Fields asked.

"Kindergarten," she said with a hint of nostalgia in her voice. "I often feel like they're my own kids." She sighed then said, "Maybe someday."

"They're so sweet at that age," he remarked.

He heard her laugh then say, "Sweet works for most of the kids. I wouldn't use it for all them, though."

"I guess that makes sense," Fields said as he found himself chuckling, too. "I know not all five-year old are angels."

There was another short pause before she said, "Anyway, three nights for one person, right, Mr. Fields?"

"Oh, right. Yes, just little old me."

"And when will you be arriving?" she asked.

He gave her the day then said, "Okay, you're all set. My name is Misty, and I'll be here to check you in and I have to warn you, I'll be cooking for you, too."

Fields laughed again and said, "It can't be that bad, can it?"

Misty laughed too, then said, "No, not at all. In fact, I'm a pretty good cook. I just don't like doing it which is one big part of why I'm not sure I'll stick with this. But that's my cross to bear and not yours."

"Okay, well, I'm looking forward to meeting you Ms....?"

"Vincent. Misty Vincent."

"All right. See you then, Ms. Vincent, and thank you so much."

"You too, Mr. Fields. I look forward to meeting you."

Fields sold high-end real estate on both the private and commercial sides and rarely took time off, so when he announced he was taking a week off in early October, no one blinked an eye.

It was two weeks after Labor Day when the weather turned chilly in Charlotte. In preparation for his trip, Fields broke down and finally bought himself some new clothes—something he hadn't done in a very long time other than stuff for work, then invested in a high-quality video camera, a pair of binoculars, and began doing some research on what there was to see in northern Vermont.

As time passed, the highlight of his days were the texts he regularly got from Pam who did her best to keep him informed on her classes, the friends she was making, and the occasional guy she met whom she found interesting. Saturday was the best day of the week as that's when she'd call and he could have her all to himself for half an hour or so. Just the sound of her voice did so much to cheer him up. The difference it made in his mood was like night and day.

The good news was his better mood had, for the most part, stayed with him since the emotional dump he had on the way home from Chapel Hill. He wasn't 'happy' or 'perky' but he no longer felt despondent or depressed. He'd even finally gone on a date with someone from work, and Pam was thrilled when he shared the good news with her.

"Dad! I am SO proud of you! Did you have a good time?" she wanted to know.

It had just been dinner and nothing more but it had been pleasant talking to someone in a social setting outside of the office. "Yeah, it was okay, honey," he told her.

"So...are you going to see her again?" Pamela asked hopefully.

"I don't know. If I do, that's fine. If not, that's okay, too. Baby steps, right?"

"I can live with that!" she told him. "You are just so awesome, Dad! Keep it up, okay?"

Fields tried to do just that. A few days later he went on another date with someone he hadn't seen since high school. She'd asked him out once a year or so ago, but he hadn't been ready. Not sure if she'd even still be available, he was a little afraid to call her. Well, that and the fact he hadn't called a 'girl' in...what? Twenty-two years or so?

She'd happily said 'yes' and they'd had a very nice time eating dinner and going dancing later. Fields was more than a little surprised when she invited him in for a drink and blown away when she asked him if he'd like to stay.

"Um...well, um....I, um...stay? As in...stay?" he'd asked not sure how to process what he'd heard.

"Yes," she said. "That kind of stay. And why not? You're still as cute as you were back in high school. I had a thing for you then and the fire is still there. Now we're both free again so...yeah. Stay with me stay."

Fields let the 'free' comment pass even though he blanched when she made it. He hadn't had sex with a woman since shortly after Grace was diagnosed with cancer, and the thought of sleeping with another woman caught him completely off guard. He hemmed and hawed and eventually found a way to excuse himself leaving a very frustrated date home alone as he went back to his place...also alone but happily so.

After that, he decided to put dating on hold until he got back from his trip and even then, he planned to take things slowly.

He was packed and ready to go shortly after breakfast when the 4th of October finally rolled around. He was staying Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, to avoid the weekend crowd even though he knew the B&B only had five rooms making the word 'crowded' a relative term. Even so, it just seemed like a smart thing to do. If he was enjoying himself, he could stay there a couple more days or maybe head up Maine and stay somewhere else.

The weather was crisp and clear as he headed out and turned onto the freeway to take him to the airport where he'd fly into Montpelier, the capitol of Vermont, and rent a car before heading north toward Sheldon.

The leaves were gorgeous, ranging in color from a beautiful shade of dark orange to a rich, deep red. It was every bit as beautiful as he'd been told, and Fields couldn't help but wish his wife could have seen it with him.

The winding roads were as much a part of the scenery as the leaves. There was just this amazing country charm all around him and trying to take it all in was probably as dangerous as texting and driving. The good news is there was very little traffic to contend with.

Fields stopped anytime he saw something worth recording whether it was a particular group of trees with red leaves or a quaint little chapel or a some tiny town with one street and a single stop light. He didn't know anything about how Vermont looked the rest of the year, but this kind of beauty was something he could get used to. Then again, not having someone to share it with made it all seem rather hollow and even pointless.

He pressed on consoling himself with knowing Pamela would enjoy the footage and the scenery and that maybe, just maybe he might one day find someone with whom he could again share all of life's wonders. He smiled when he realized one of those wonders was the beauty of a woman's body and the accompanying sounds of her gentle sighs and moans which came from an equally gentle touch.

Without warning, he realized something else had happened for the first time since she left this world. He was hard, and it was even more surprising when he realized he hadn't been thinking about his late wife.

There was no specific woman in this fantasy. It was more a mental compilation of all the things he found attractive in women. This image, this...fantasy girl...was all of those things rolled into one. From her silky hair to what she was wearing and everything in between suddenly appeared to him and for the first time in as many months, he desperately wanted to be with 'her', or least with some reasonably close version in real life. And yet, as desperate as this need was, Fields wasn't about to settle for just any woman who came along and that, he understood, was why he'd said 'no' to the invitation from his high school flame from so many years ago. Time was on his side and there was no need to rush. She, whoever she might be, would enter his life at some point and when he found her, he was convinced he'd know it. Until then, he'd do as Pam had suggested and patiently watch for opportunities to present themselves.

Fields wasn't certain he'd entered the city limits of Sheldon even when he saw a sign which read "Sheldon, Vermont, Site of Civil War Action, October 19, 1964." It was nothing but a sign along the side of the winding road he'd been following for some time. He continued along the road for another half mile when his GPS told him to turn left in one mile. He slowed as he approached the turn and received another warning just as he reached it.

"Destination is on the right in half a mile" the voice said.

It was a large, beautiful, two-story house with a large front porch. It was painted dark blue with white trim and there was a small, tastefully-done sign out front which read "Maple Leaf Inn, Sheldon, Vermont."

He pulled around back and smiled when he saw the swimming pool enclosed in a large glass shelter, its blue waters beckoning to him. He stepped out and took a long look at it before retrieving his bags from the trunk.

As he grabbed his suitcase, clothing bag, and gym bag, he saw a rather attractive woman maybe ten years older than him coming down the steps at the back porch. Having no idea how old Misty might be or what she might look like, this woman fit with the mental image he had of her. She was not only nice looking, he didn't see a wedding ring. He smiled as his first thought was this might a very nice place to say.