Banished Pt. 14

"I think Bianca might be rubbing off on you," he replied. "Bianca... that was the last time I felt that anger course through me like that. Sometimes I still remember it when I look at her, and see those scars."

"Bianca seems fond of those scars," I said, and he shook his head.

"Good for her," he replied. "Know what the saddest thing is? I spent all of my life seeing people looking at me with... outright disgust. I always worked with my hands, and they just never seemed to get clean enough for me to get anything but those 'dirty Mexican' looks from everyone who didn't work like that. When I started hunting, those looks turned into fear, but they still didn't see me... just what I was capable of. Then all of that changed with that girl."

"Alva?"

He nodded.

"Someone who looked at me with... interest? Curiosity. I'd never been looked at like that before in my entire life, you know? It pissed me off a little, even, so I started telling her about the terrible things I did, and she just shrugged."

"Did she say something all philosophical?"

He laughed, then nodded.

"I think it was, 'you walk a path of despair, but the choice is yours; if you want to stay there, or seek a different path'," he said, and I snickered at the comment.

"Not bad."

He shook his head, then looked up into the canopy above.

"Not bad, huh? My grandmother would have loved her..."

"Well... for her sake, treat her right, then," I said, and he turned away and sighed.

"Feels like the best thing I could do for her sake is leave her alone," he said. "I've killed a lot of people. Karma isn't exactly going to let me live peacefully without paying for that. Would be a pity if I made someone else share the sin."

"Well, how about you leave your punishment to Karma then. No need to punish yourself as well. And let Alva make her own choices. She might be young, but she's not exactly a naïve little girl."

I waved as I turned to leave, but just as I started scanning the cluster for Bianca and Lucia, I spotted a familiar face beside a group of Kobalt workers, who seemed to be building something from the wood we'd brought along.

"Gunter! I thought you were dead!" I called, and the boy turned, and rubbed the back of his head.

"Apology, Herr Götze! Injured," he said.

I shook my head as I examined him for some sign of injury, and he smiled nervously as he held up a finger, which had been bandaged.

Seriously? I thought.

"Broken," he announced, and the Kobalt man beside us scoffed.

"There is no 'injured', Auslander. Lazy!" the man chided, and I laughed in response.

Just then, I spotted Lucia and Bianca heading toward the supply carts, and as I waved them over, an idea occurred to me.

"Gunter, you're going to help Lucia with her training from now on," I said, and the boy eyed Lucia with a bit of a smirk.

"Training?" Lucia asked, her interest piqued, and she sized Gunter up, with a look that said she wasn't impressed.

"Yes. Whenever you feel like training, and Francesca is busy... you can chase Gunter here with your wooden dagger, and stab him thoroughly when you catch him."

Lucia's eyes lit up.

"Good training!" she exclaimed, and Gunter stepped backwards, a slightly panicked look on his face.

"Auslander, the part... is broken still."

"That's fine," I replied in German. "You only need your feet to run anyway, right? How about we start right now?"

I turned to Lucia, and she smiled.

"Start!" she exclaimed, and Gunter backed away, but Lucia didn't waste any time as she lunged at him and struck him square in the jaw.

"Owowow!" Gunter exclaimed.

He shot me a pleading look, and I grinned wickedly at him.

"Better run," I said, as Lucia prepared to make another strike, and this time, Gunter turned and bolted, and Lucia took off after him with serious pace.

I stared after the two with an amused look.

"She's quicker than I am," Bianca said.

"Really?"

She nodded.

"I'm wearing speed one armor. Without it, I'm just my regular old self. But she was keeping up with me even so."

I frowned.

Lucia wasn't wearing any armor.

"That's odd. She shouldn't have learned that already... I mean, I think I'm barely to speed one myself, and I practically live in this set."

"That's not all. You know how she understands us?"

"A translation skill, I'm guessing?"

"Yeah, well at first I'd have to repeat things before she understood. Now she understands me all the time."

My mind went back to her dagger skill which also seemed to be more advanced than Bianca's.

It was interesting to say the least.

Was her drive merely motivating her to learn skills more quickly?

Or was she simply practicing her abilities way more than I'd realized.

I turned to Bianca and examined her core a bit; it was a bit low, but not exactly close to depletion yet.

"Hey, go deplete your core a bit," I said. "Use Raul, but... don't go so far as to pass out. Keep a little bit of energy for us to spend some time tonight."

She stared at me.

"Is that a naked cuddling offer I hear?" she asked, and as I nodded, she practically leapt off her feet.

"Fuck yeah!" she exclaimed, as she bolted off after Raul.

"Meet up in your room, okay? I'm gonna go check on the others!"

I turned and made my way towards the grove tree where our rooms were, but I paused as I spotted Casey beside Gisela, over by the supply carts.

She didn't look over, but Gisela caught my gaze, and shot me a worried look.

I gestured to her that everything was fine, and she nodded, as I turned and headed off.

When I got to Cameron's room, I found Leanna and Jordan up there, along with the baby monster.

Leanna seemed to be quite distracted by the little thing, and Cameron came over to my side as soon as I entered the room.

"How is she?" I asked, and she smiled.

"Well, she's feeling better after that whole debacle, that's for sure. Although..." she dropped her voice down to a whisper, as she continued, "when I said I was coming to look for you, she had this panicked look on her face like, 'please don't leave me here with Jordan' so I'm thinking Molly was right about a few things."

I chuckled nervously.

"How is Jordan taking that?"

"Oh, he doesn't mind. This might just be the 'fix a broken white girl' project he always wanted," she joked.

"Well, a little bit of effort tends to go a long way. Besides, I don't think she's all that ill-natured, just maybe... taught some bad habits."

Cameron nodded.

"Is she gonna be sleeping with us too, now?" she teased, and I bit my lip nervously.

"Actually, I kind of promised my night to Bianca," I admitted, and Cameron frowned.

"Aww. I got so many nights in a row; I was starting to get a little spoilt."

"Do you mind?" I asked, and she shook her head.

"Maybe we can spend the time focusing on her instead. You were right about a lot of things... she was really lonely."

I sighed.

"Makes me wonder if we couldn't have saved Emily and Candace too..."

"That might have been more difficult. I mean, a few less votes, and we wouldn't even be able to save ourselves," Cameron said.

"Democracy is a bitch sometimes," I admitted, and Cameron laughed. "There's something else I wanted to ask," I began, looking around. "But she won't let you leave right now, huh?"

"Actually, let's just sneak out and see if she even notices," Cameron said, and as she gestured for the door, we crept away.

She pulled the door slowly in, leaving it ajar, and as we listened for a moment, then heard the snippets of their conversation continuing, we headed down the hall toward my own room.

As soon as we were in the room, however, Cameron kissed me, and wrapped her arms around me in a comforting embrace.

"What was that for?" I asked, and she shrugged.

"Do you feel like if you lost Casey today?" she asked.

"Not sure... I lost my trust in her, for sure. But... maybe I'm still holding onto hope for her."

"I think she'll come around. She just needs to sort out her feelings."

"Well, I'm not sure there's still feelings. I relieved her of her hypnosis," I explained, and Cameron studied me.

"How?"

"Combination of her pledge, and energy manipulation. I don't think I can do it otherwise, though. Sorry..."

Cameron shook her head.

"Are you kidding me? I'm terrified of losing this," she said, and I smiled as I pulled her in for another kiss.

"I hate to spoil the mood, but I actually need some help," I began.

"With one of your girlfriends?"

I nodded sheepishly, and Cameron smiled.

"Which one? Bianca?"

I nodded again, then gave her a breakdown of what had happened that morning, though I didn't mention the specifics of where or when it happened.

"Hmm... she doesn't freeze up when you touch her, does she?"

I shook my head.

"We've only really kissed, though. Not much petting... but she has tried to get me to feel her up a few times."

"Didn't really shy away from blowing you either, huh? I kind of get the whole 'getting off by herself' thing though. A few times I was with guys that I kind of liked, but I just couldn't really get into it with them. Like, the way they touched me, or maybe the way I instinctively reacted... I would tense up. So, sometimes I would get worked up, then... masturbate after they left, or something like that."

"Hmm..." I replied, as I gave the matter some thought. "I do see how it's easier to be comfortable with your own touch," I conceded. "And Bianca did say something once, like, that she wasn't as into sex as most people were, or something like that."

"Oh~? But even when I wasn't having sex, I kind of knew it was awesome anyway. But now I'm kind of offended. I mean, I had my own intimacy problems, but your touch is something that I spend days craving after I leave your arms. How is she not coming around to that?"

"I know, right? Danica even said it's an actual skill," I joked, and Cameron smiled.

"Maybe you just need to level it up a bit," she suggested, pulling me in for another kiss.

I returned the kiss, slipping a hand under her shirt and glancing the little bump there, my eyes opening up a bit as I felt a significant increase in how pronounced it was.

"What?" she asked, as I paused to study her, and I shook my head as I summoned up the image of Leanna, then created a clause in her pledge to paralyze her indefinitely if she ever tried to hurt Cameron or my baby.

It wasn't that I didn't actually trust her, but something in me just felt extra protective of Cameron and my unborn child, and I also did the same for Raul and Casey, before leaning in to kiss Cameron again.

"It's nothing," I said, but there was still a searching look in her eyes.

"Were you worrying about this again?" she asked, gesturing to her stomach, and as I nodded, she smiled, then kissed me.

"Nate?"

Cameron looked over her shoulder, as Bianca's voice called to me from outside.

"Looks like my time's up," Cameron joked, caressing my face, and stealing one more kiss before breaking away.

"Wish me luck?" I joked, and she smirked a little.

"Go get her," she said suggestively, as she pushed me out the door.

"There you are," Bianca said, but as her eyes moved past me, I bit my lip nervously. "Cameron?" she mouthed, and as I nodded, she smiled a little, then pulled me with her to her room.

She shoved me inside, shooting me a teasing smirk, before slamming the door shut just hard enough to alert Cameron.

I shook my head, as I took a step back, and waited until she returned.

"What was that about?" I asked, and she shrugged.

"Doing my job?" she answered nonchalantly, and I eyed her.

"Really now..."

She smiled proudly.

"Casey's jealousy got in the way of your plans, didn't it? I'm just trying to gauge whether or not Cameron will be a problem in the future."

"Huh..." I answered, intrigued to say the least. "And what's your assessment?"

"Well, she did look this way when she came out of your room, but she didn't have that clearly bothered look that Casey always had whenever you headed in the direction of anything female. In my estimation, she's more possessive of you than you might think, but not unwilling to make allowances to keep you by her side," she said.

I ruffled her hair affectionately.

"I think you might be the best decision I made so far," I said, and she smiled happily at the praise.

"Not that you'll sleep with me even so," Bianca replied, and I shook my head.

"Nope," I replied, and she folded her arms, and turned her head away defiantly.

I began to strip off my armor, however, and I shot her a wry grin as she instinctively glanced in my direction.

"Oh... are we really doing that?" she asked, as if she had forgotten about the deal, and I nodded.

"Uh-huh. A promise is a promise," I said, but my mind for some reason went to Casey, and my promise to make her smile, and Bianca caught the slight inflection in my eyes.

"We don't have to, you know," she said. "I'll be happy just having you stay for the night."

"Maybe this is just how I always sleep?" I suggested, and Bianca licked her lips.

"Can I keep my clothes on then?" she asked, and I shrugged.

"Suit yourself," I answered, as I stripped down to my short cotton pants.

As I climbed onto the bed, Bianca took a seat beside me, and again, I noted that she seemed kind of nervous.

It was pretty uncharacteristic of her, and I studied her for a bit.

"What's on your mind?" I finally asked, and she quickly shook her head.

"This is the first night I'm going to spend with someone who isn't my husband," she finally said.

"Hn~. I see," I replied, as I scooted back to where I leaned against the wall, and as I patted my lap, Bianca crawled over and rested her head there.

"Do you remember the first night I lay down on your lap like this?" she asked, and I chuckled.

"It was, literally a week ago," I replied, and she sighed.

"I feel like if it changed my whole world," she said, and I caressed her hair soothingly. "I had no idea that I could actually be useful, you know?"

"There are a lot of people who go through their entire lives feeling useless... and sometimes, all it takes to change that is for one person to take the time to pay attention to them," I replied.

Bianca turned and looked up at me.

"Would be stupid to fall in love with someone for something like that, huh..."

I shook my head.

"I think it'd be cute. Romantic, even."

She sighed, then turned onto her side again.

"Doesn't matter... I'll never give you what she already has."

"What're you talking about?" I asked.

"Cameron," she said, her voice low, and a little despondent. "She's pregnant, isn't she?"

I paused my stroking for a second, giving the situation some thought.

"What makes you think you'll never give me that?" I asked finally, and she scoffed.

"Are you serious? I can't have kids, remember?"

I laughed, and she turned to look up at me.

"What?"

"Did you ever have yourself checked out. At a fertility clinic, or whatnot?"

She shook her head, and I shrugged.

"See? The problem could have just as likely been him. Women tend to get the majority of the blame for infertility, but the statistics show that men are just as likely to be the problem when couples have difficulty conceiving."

"It could have still been me," she countered.

"Sure, but even if it was, I'd bet that your present body probably can even if your earth body couldn't..."

She bit her lip uncertainly.

"You really think so?"

I nodded, and she squirmed a little bit.

"Have you thought about it?" she asked, and as I nodded, she sat upright to study me.

"With me?" she asked for clarification, and I smiled as I nodded again, and her mouth fell open. "But... why?"

I looked away for a bit, as I tried to find the words to express how I felt, but also the best way to convey that to Bianca.

Eventually, Bianca took my hand, then held my gaze.

"You said I could be the most important person to you, right?" she asked, and I nodded. "Then tell me... honestly. You love Cameron, right? You want the child that she's having?"

"Yes."

"But... you want me anyway? Why?"

"I wanna fall in love," I answered, and she eyed me, the uncertainty plastered on her face.

"In love? With me?"

I nodded.

"Why?" she asked, her confusion visible, and I shrugged.

"Hard to say. That's just what I've wanted since that night... since I first comforted you."

"Is that why you saved me?" she asked, and I shook my head.

"When I saved you, I thought you were just another Candace," I explained. "A threat we'd have to deal with eventually."

"Then why did you save me?"

I shrugged.

"It was the human thing to do, wasn't it?"

She shook her head, as she continued to study me.

"Then when did you decide that you wanted to fall in love with me?" she asked.

"When I first came into that room, and saw you curled up, crying, scared... alone. I thought... you need someone to love you, and I felt an instinctual desire to be that person."

She shook her head at me.

"I didn't need love. I needed safety."

"Aren't they essentially the same thing? I'd never been in love before Cameron, but when she holds me in her arms, I feel the world melting away from my mind," I explained, and Bianca's mouth fell open.

"That sounds perfect... but if you have that with her, then why do you want it with me?"

I bit my lip.

"I didn't choose Cameron, and the feelings I have were created artificially..."

"Hypnosis?" Bianca asked, and I nodded.

"I've never fallen in love... but it feels nice. Kind of made me want to experience it for real. Besides... you're very pretty," I said, and Bianca blushed as I continued, "and there's something about how difficult it is to see you smile that just makes me want to see it for real."

She eyed me teasingly.

"I smile all the time," she announced, putting her hands on her hips, and I shook my head.

"You haven't... not once since I've met you," I countered.

"I'm smiling right now!" she shot back, and I shifted a little, moving her off of me, and leading her down onto her back.

"This isn't your real smile," I explained, as I crawled on top of her, and pinched her nose between my forefinger and thumb, wiggling it teasingly.

She giggled a little, then studied me.

"What if I can't smile?" she asked, and I shrugged.

"Maybe you can't... maybe I can't fall in love; who knows? I wanna try though. And if you wanna try with me, then... maybe this could be interesting."

Her hand wandered to my chest, and as she trailed the now firmly developed muscles there, she licked her lips.

"Honestly... I don't know what I want. I like this, though. And I like being important. I'm not sure if I'm comfortable about this love business, but... I don't mind so much, if it means we keep doing this. And maybe a little bit more," she said, her eyes flicking lower down my body a little suggestively.

I moved in to kiss her, but she placed her palms against my chest, stopping me.

"I paid for the full show," she teased, and I frowned.

"I'll show you mine, if you show me yours," I countered, and as she frowned, I eyed her teasingly. "You know, you practically tore your clothes off in front of me the first few times we were together. Why so shy all of a sudden?"

She shrugged.

"It was easier when I could just assume you were gonna grope me... all of this 'love', and 'tender kisses'. It just weirds me out."

"Forgive me for treating you like a gentleman," I replied, in a mock sarcastic tone, and she stuck her tongue out at me, before wiggling off her pants underneath me.

"I lost the pants, now you lose yours," she said, grinning at me a little, and I rolled my eyes.

I tapped her cotton shirt, and she rolled her eyes, before nodding as I pulled the thing off, and dropped it off the side of the bed.