Becoming Just Another Family Ch. 03

"Why?" he asked with a little disgust in his voice.

I shrugged. "A memento, I guess. I found it on the window sill and kept it as something to remind me of the best birthday I had ever had. Granted, I got into a lot of trouble—"

Ryan gently squeezed my hand. "Yeah. Sorry."

"It's okay. It was worth it." It really was. I used my other hand to cover both of ours then continued. "I didn't know if we'd ever do it again. Whenever I looked at it, I thought of you and the risk you took for me. I know you could have gotten into a lot of trouble if you had been caught in your barely eighteen-year-old sister's bed taking her virginity and loved you that much more for it. Once we kept having sex, it became...I don't know...a good luck charm? As long as I had it, you wouldn't get tired of me and drop me like most of the girls you slept with."

"I'd never treat you like that," he said genuinely.

I took a deep breath, steeling myself for the admission that was about to tumble out. "I always thought I had the best big brother in the world. You always took care of me and watched out for me. I thought that what I felt was how all sisters felt about their older brothers. Now, I know that this is different, that what we have is different. I've been in love with you for a long time, Ryan."

"I don't know why, but I've been in love with you, too."

"Thanks, ya big jerk," I said, teasing him.

Ryan chuckled. "That did sound wrong. I mean, I hung out with Renee much more than you, but even when you were little, I knew we had a special bond. There was something about the way you looked at me that wasn't the same as everyone else. And as you got older, I just couldn't stand the idea of you being with another guy. I even hated that kid Chris you dated."

"I thought you liked him."

"He was better than most but he still wasn't good enough for you. No one was or will be. Not even me. I told myself that for your birthday I was just going to pop your cherry and leave but sitting across the table from you having dinner that night, I knew I couldn't do that. I didn't want to do that. You weren't just some chick I wanted to hook up with. You're my sister. That should've been reason enough not to climb in your window but it was the reason why I wanted to. If you said yes to me being your first, I knew that I stood a chance at having something more with you, even though I wasn't and still am not quite sure what that 'more' could be. I mean, it's not like we can get married and live together or anything. What I do know is that I want to take care of you and keep you safe, and I'll do my best to make it happen. I love you, Rach, and always will."

Hearing my brother's declaration, I smiled and leaned against him to rest my head on his shoulder. Ryan unhooked our hands and laid his arm around my shoulders. That simple act meant more to me than the words he had just spoken. I knew that it wasn't going to be easy but I was happy that he and I no longer had to hide our feelings from each other.