Becoming More Female Friendly

"How did you and Ross meet?" he asked.

"Freddie," Lucinda said, sounding appalled.

"No it's okay darling," Bonnie said. "I was the hostess at a small law seminar and Rossiter as he was called then was the presenter on the intricacies of medical insurance claims. Late at night we were drunk and ended up in bed."

"That's a far better story than having to admit you were introduced by your mothers at a church harvest festival."

Both women giggled and then the thawing Lucinda asked was Freddie married or had he ever been married.

"There's a turnoff to a roadside restaurant up head," he said. "Is it too early or about right?"

"About right," Bonnie said and Freddie pulled off at the exit.

The women ordered chicken salad and a glass of wine and Freddie chose a steak burger and black coffee.

"Don't you drink?" Lucinda asked and was told not when he was driving.

"Answering your earlier question, no I'm not married and never have come close."

"Oh," said Lucinda, leaning forward slightly. "And why is that?"

"I think I know," Bonnie said. "The mothers wanted you to have sex with them."

"Mom!" Lucinda chastised.

"No Bonnie is correct," Freddie said. "Would you like to hear about my thwarted romances?"

Instead of answering, both women learned forward slightly with expectant faces and so Freddie delivered.

He stopped as the waitress began delivering their meals and then resumed.

"Omigod didn't you have a dreadful time," Lucinda simpered when he finished.

"Mom at least appear sympathetic."

"Yes Freddie I am sympathetic," Bonnie said. "But I'm surprised you hadn't learnt you lesson though a greater understanding of women after that first incident and particularly after the nasty second outcome."

"I didn't think all women would be like that," Freddie complained.

Bonnie said no she guessed not and glanced at his fringe.

"Are you good in bed?" Lucinda asked, staring at him unfazed.

"Don't answer," Bonnie said.

"No it's fine. I invariably get pressed for repeat encounters and that must say something in my favor unless my women are too lazy to look elsewhere."

"Well you have a great chest and attractive facial features and your fringe is really cute," Bonnie said.

Patting her hair Bonnie asked, "Does anything about us attract you?"

"Yes your shoes," Freddie replied straight-faced.

Surprised, both women pulled out a leg from under the table to look at their shoe.

Bonnie tucked her leg back and called him a devious diversionary with a warped humor. But she giggled.

"Men always looked at our breasts when mom and I are together and are lightly clothed," Lucinda offered.

"Why?"

She appeared confused.

"Didn't I just say he has a warped humor," said her mom and Lucinda blushed.

Freddie learned Lucinda was studying for a business degree and was home for her mom's 'forty-something' birthday. That 'something' was not revealed.

By the time they were approaching Chicago both women were napping and Freddie was thinking which one of them might want to have sex with him.

Perhaps both?

He grinned and then thought no way and was right. No arrangement had been made to socialize when he left they at the hotel and he was not in contact with them again until arriving to collect them. They were tired but happy and said they'd had a great time. The trunk was completed filled by the time all their bags and extra shopping bags were compressed into it.

When they arrived home Ross helped unload the trunk and when Freddie closed the trunk and was about to step into the car Bonnie came out calling to him and attempted to hand him a couple of hundred dollar tip.

"No thanks, no tip," Freddie smiled. "I just loved being with you ladies and seeing you bent on enjoying yourselves. I really didn't think I was working."

"You are a very nice man," Bonnie said, stuffing the money into the top pocket of his jacket. She then swept his fringe back and kissed him rather firmly on the lips.

They smiled and said goodbye and Freddie drove off and to his surprise developed a boner.

"Jesus!"

A few days later Freddie came out of his office and saw Bonnie walking towards him.

"Oh hi, I was coming to find where you hang out."

"Here," he said a little embarrassed.

"I knew it would be the basement," she smiled, and looked very pretty dressed in white with a thick black belt.

He glanced at her tits and knew he'd been caught out as soon as he looked up. But she said nothing.

"May I look inside?"

"Yes," he said stiffly.

He'd cleaned up the room and added a mirror and a cheaply framed picture of a mountainous scene across Montana ranchland.

"You have made this comfortable and it's very tidy," she said, walking in a patting her hair in the mirror.

"Y-you shouldn't be in here," Freddie croaked.

"Nonsense," she said. "When are you inviting me out for a drink?"

Freddie found it impossible to answer her.

"Please give me your cell phone number and I'll call you. It will have to be somewhere discreet."

Freddie handed across his card and thought if she attempted to kiss him he'd have nothing more to do with her.

"Thanks," she smiled and walked off.

Freddie watched her butt critically, looking for a hooker-like sway, but there was no sign of excessive movement.

God what was happening? Was his calm little world about to be blown apart? For the first time in his adult life Freddie was in fear of a woman.

The call came two days later.

"Hi Freddie."

"Hi Bonnie," he said weakly, having at the last millisecond diverted from calling her Mrs Franks.

"This social drink I spoke to you about. How about this Friday night at 6:00?"

"That would be fine."

"For the comfort of both of us I have chosen a small local bar out at Flagstaff."

She gave him the address and he said that sounded great and he agreed to arrive on time and she'd arrived ten minutes late because she didn't wish to walk into a bar unattached.

"Are you comfortable about meeting up like this?"

He replied he was becoming more relaxed.

She said it was a drink and not a seduction. "Are you more comfortable now?"

"Now you've disappointed me," he managed and she laughed and cut the call.

* * *

Conversations in the bar ceased when Bonnie entered. Although she had her hair tied up in a knotted headscarf thing and was wearing dark glasses and a muted colored long dress and boots, she had failed to hide she was a standout female.

Freddie was already on his feet waving and she walked to him and when she sat without Freddie kissing her, bar room conversations resumed.

A server came over and took their orders and Freddie said, "I had to peer hard to confirm it was you."

"I dressed down for this occasion."

"Why?"

That surprised her and she said he should know why and then she caught herself and said no perhaps he didn't.

"Freddie I'm in need of an affair and have decided it should be you."

"I see."

"Do you? I need sex Freddie and am not getting it. Months ago Ross became entangled with one of his former girlfriends of his youth who moved back here after becoming widowed. Since then I've lived on scraps, so to speak. Lucinda suggested if I came on strong to you I'd probably land you."

"That is very frank of you Mrs Franks," Freddie said.

"Oh god I'm not doing well, am I?"

"Very well I believe. I like a straight talking female and if she has great breasts then all the better."

"So you do like my breasts. I worried when you merely glanced at them that they might be too big for your liking."

"Bonnie that's akin to blasphemy."

She looked delighted and giggled and said the inevitable word many women seize, "Omigod."

"If Ross learns about it you'd be fired and I would be for the chop as well."

"Isn't that part of your greater plan?"

Bonnie's jaw dropped. "I knew you are smart but not that smart."

"Bonnie am I worth it? I'm only a car driver."

"Bullshit you have a master's in computer science and for some years worked in computer technology. I looked up your CV. For your information I'm only a wife with a diploma in events management."

"Are you good at sex?"

Bonnie eyed him and replied quietly, "What do you think?"

He blushed and she looked very pleased with him.

Bonnie then attempted to pin him down.

"Are you prepared to have a fling with me and hope like hell we can pull it off without being caught?"

But before answering that Freddie asked what are the rules of engagement?

"All you have to do is be long enough for me, keep it up long enough, don't worry about me being twelve years older than you and do everything to ensure we don't get caught."

"Okay I can comply."

"What are your terms of engagement?"

"Oh that's easy. Make sure we don't get caught and that you are not too large for me."

"God you are rude," she said, becoming very red-faced.

They talked about different locations to meet secretly and none of them really appealed because of the relative ease of possible discovery.

Finally Freddie said, "Perhaps we could meet away from the city? I've been thinking of buying a car."

That threw Bonnie into a new line of thinking.

"That's it. I'll hire a small house or cabin on a ranch. We would arrive and depart separately and spaced apart. I have two close friends who sell real estate. They will find me something."

"They might guess why you want it?"

Bonnie smiled and said they almost certainly would. "Most of my friends assume I have affairs because Ross is so much older than me."

"Ah yes and why would they need to enquire who is the lucky guy?"

"Or lucky woman or lucky bunch of guys."

Freddie grinned and said he liked her relaxed style. "Let's not hurry this. Take time to set it up properly and we'll enjoy it more."

He purchased a two-year old Ford Fusion painted Silver Birch, thinking that car would always look inconspicuous. Two days later Bonnie contacted him saying she was calling from a public phone. She sounded very excited.

"I've just come back from viewing our place for assignations. It's a former ranch manager's house no longer required since a large section of the ranch was sold off. The elderly woman uses it for her spinning and weaving hobby. She has agreed to set up the kitchen and will provide a mattress and bed linen from one of her spare double rooms. I have agreed to pay the rent in advance for six months with right of renewal of this arrangement. All I have to do is to call her when I intend occupying the place casually and she and her husband will keep away."

"So she understands why you want the house?"

"Of course she does. I told he I wanted a place in nowhere to relax away from the bedlam of the city."

"It sounds perfect. When can we start fucking there?"

"God you are coarse. This weekend will be fine if you are free. Ross and two friends and no doubt their girlfriends are away this weekend staying at a golf and fishing resort."

"Right so please set it up. What should I bring?"

"As usual girls do everything. I'll bring the food and some DVDs and DVD player. Everything else will be there. You might like to bring vodka and gin for martinis and some good wines... white for me."

"Great and good as done. Oh I must share the rent or even..."

"No this is on me. I have plenty of money and I'm the one desiring sex."

"Actually I'm very keen to plunder a cunt this weekend."

Bonnie sighed and said she would prefer him to express himself more elegantly. But then added, "No don't bother. Your crude naughtiness makes me more than a little excited."

CHAPTER 2

Freddie drove toward the well-lit two-bedroom farmhouse feeling excitement grip.

Bonnie rushed out on to the porch waving and wearing a tight black dress and probably little or nothing else judging by the way her tits were bouncing.

"Welcome, welcome," she screamed and when he leapt on to the porch she kissed him hugely, dribbling down his chin.

"Oh I'm so excited. I'm afraid I'm leaking down there."

"Well I'm not afraid of pussy juice."

She sighed and lunged at him and kissed him again

Freddie pushed a hand under her skirt and his fingers met a bald and wet pussy devoid of covering.

He pulled his hand back out and presented his two dripping fingers for Bonnie to suck. She did so without hesitation and he kissed her open-mouthed and his tongue gained easy entry and he tasted the faint presence of pussy juice.

Bonnie pushed away and said looking very serious, "Freddie I must tell you that you're not the first. I've had several short affairs since my marriage."

"Good then you'll be experienced?"

"What?"

She frowned momentarily and then worked out what he was on about and slammed her groin against his and laughingly simulated sex.

"Whoa let's not rush it," he soothed.

"That was my thinking too but my restraint has been blown apart by the excitement of your arrival and you doing that disgusting thing to me."

Freddie asked, "Don't you like the taste of pussy juice?"

"I didn't say that. I used the word disgusting to try to avoid you thinking I was a whore."

"Be my whore, I won't mind. Alternatively be what you want to be and I won't mind providing we fuck."

"Oh we'll fuck. Bring in your beer and the martini stuff and we'll have a drink and talk sex."

"Is that what you really want to do?"

"Yes absolutely. I've only just turned forty-three and so have not lost my lust for sex."

"That makes you thirteen years and nine months older that me. I have no problem with that age difference."

"Am I allowed to say I love you and call you darling?" Bonnie asked, as Freddie climbed up the three steps carrying a carton of liquor, soft drinks and canned fruit juices.

"Yes you may and it doesn't matter if you are not all that sincere about it."

"I have good feelings about you," she smiled, reaching to push back his fringe.

Her phone went. She checked for the name of the caller and then answered and after saying yes dear listened and turned white.

"Oh god," she whimpered. "That was my daughter Lucinda to say her father, my husband Ross, has a tooth giving him hell and decided to return home. She is on her way to pick him up. Sorry but I must go. God I'm crazy to have set you up like this. Well I'm off. Have a drink and take your things when you go, shutting the door. Bye."

She didn't attempt to kiss him and Freddie went on to the porch to wave her goodbye but she ignored him, not looking in his direction.

He grunted, "Hysterical bitch."

Freddie sat on the porch drinking a beer and wondering what Bonnie had meant about being crazy to have set him up. He paled and let fly and oath and groaned, thinking how could he have been so stupid. The bitch was setting him up, wanting to be caught with him so that Ross would demand a divorce and she would exit with a pile of money.

Oh he'd been so stupid.

He decided to stay the night. In the morning he saw an elderly lady walking a French Poodle.

"Hi," he called and went over.

"Good morning. I thought Mrs Ross was renting this house to get away from everything?"

Mrs Ross? Ah Bennie's false name, her husband's first name. She was unlikely to forget the name with that prompt.

"I'm Freddie. Mrs Ross is my aunt. She was called away suddenly just after I arrived last evening and didn't tell me where to place the key."

"I'll show you. I'm Mrs Roberts. My husband and I own this ranch."

"I've found it very relaxing here away from the bustle and noise of the city."

"Then you'll have to come more often. What was the emergency for Mrs Ross?"

"I really don't know. Something to do with her husband I think."

Mrs Roberts laughed. "Well having one myself I daresay he demanded she come home and find the bottle opener for him."

They laughed and Mrs Roberts said she would continue to walk Paris. You appear to be a very nice man. When you come again come over and meet Dan."

"Thanks, that's very neighborly of you."

Two nights later Bonnie called and apologized for her sudden departure and Freddie said that was okay.

"Look that little experience gave me a huge fright, making me realize just how close I might have been to losing the comforts of my marriage. I've decided I'm not going back to the cottage. I have leased it for six months, paying the rent in advance. That stupid woman wanted only $20 a week so I've called her to say I won't be returning and she said there would be no refund and that doesn't worry me. You are free to use the place, every weekend if you wish for the next six months. Just take down this phone number..."

"Thanks, got it."

"And let Mrs Roberts know you will be arriving so that she can air the place and place linen on the bed. Just tell her you are my brother. She'll accept that line."

"Okay and thanks. If you change your mind or want to send anyone there just let me know a few days in advance."

Bonnie cut the call without saying another word.

"Rude bitch."

Next Thursday morning Freddie called Mrs Roberts and said he'd arrive on Friday evening. She invited him to dinner saying their married daughter was staying and would welcome some younger company.

And the daughter Lisa was probably missing hourly sex, Freddie thought optimistically.

Lisa Young was no beauty queen and had small tits but great hair and a wide smile. Plus she was intelligent and lively. She enjoyed squeezing personal details out of Freddie for her mom's benefit. In disclosing personal information, Freddie took the liberty to promote himself as manager of VIP services for a major law firm.

"And that's your company car?" Lisa said, unimpressed, having seen the cheap car arriving before turning off for the small farmhouse.

"That's my mom's car. I'm not permitted to take my company car more than 30 miles away from the city without express approval. That approval is easily given but saying I wanted to go 55 miles beyond the city to a country hideout might not have impressed my CEO."

"Yes, good thinking," Lisa, said. "Would you like me to come over for lunch tomorrow? I'll bring food."

"Yes that would be great."

Her mom said Lisa should remember she was a married woman.

"Oh yes, I'll bring a near-neighbor, my long-time friend Amy who's also married."

"God the poor guy won't get a word in edgeways once you two get going," said her father.

The women laughed and Freddie thought well that would be half of Saturday wasted. As it turned out the women were good company and rather keen to find out about his opinion of what real interest men had in women.

"Strip off and I'll admit you into the innermost secrets of the Brotherhood."

They giggled and horsed around and then declined. So he picked up the newspaper and began reading until one of them said coyly, "Freddie?"

He looked over the top of the newspaper at two pair of floppy tits, two fat bellies and two hairy pussies.

Well any thought of a threesome was off. He preferred his women to be lean with firm tits and hairless pussies. So he began relating all the bullshit that he thought women would like to hear about what men thought of them and how they liked being fed well and had the house tidy and did all the small jobs on upkeep they were capable for doing. He injected a bit of sex lore during the diatribe and watched the toes of both of them curl when he alleged all men lusted for anal sex even if they professed to have no interest in it.

He never saw either woman again and had no idea why. Mrs Roberts also kept away from him but whenever her husband went by he always waved out cheerfully. After two more weekends, unable to lure any woman to the hideout and thinking it was a bit of a bind to go that distance at weekends to hangout and being bored he never returned again. He was annoyed he'd squandered the perfect weekend set-up to fully sexually exploit women.