Bella

As I wiggled my way out of bed, I heard not one but two females complaining. After my bathroom stop, I got undressed and shaved and hopped in the shower. About halfway through, I felt a draft. Gina had drawn back the curtain and was "inspecting" me.

"Not bad", was all she said before leaving.

I started to protest her departure, but then I heard Bella's voice. I decided that I'd start researching summer camps for Bella. That way I could get some alone time with Gina.

It was a nice idea, but I found that there weren't any overnight summer camps around.

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The next couple of years just flew by. Bella accepted Gina and I as her parents. I really don't know when or how it happened, but one day I noticed that we were mommy and daddy when she referred to us.

Gina and I grew closer. While I was still gun shy as far as marriage was concerned, that didn't stop me from allowing her to move into my bedroom. Bella even stopped visiting us in the middle of the night.

Gina and I started taking afternoon naps when Bella was in school. Just in case we got a little visitor in the middle of the night.

As part of Bella's development, she started going to school with her peers. She did great!!!! She blended in with her age group and we had kids visiting the house almost every day. Our house became the neighborhood hangout. Every weekend Bella had a couple of her friends sleep over. Aolani loved the kids. Her grandchildren lived in California; these were her substitute grand children.

One day I asked her if taking care of all the children was too much for her. I know Italian women have a temper, but I never realized that Hawaiian women did also. And to make matters worse, Hawaiian women were really good with knives.

One of these days I'm going to learn to keep my mouth shut.

One Sunday Bella sat on my lap to chat. "Poppie, when are you going to ask Mommy to marry you? You know she loves you very much and you love her too. And besides, I want a baby sister or brother before you are too old."

And lot of thoughts crossed my mind in a few seconds. The one that ended up in the forefront of my mind was "why not?" so I asked Bella, "If you can keep a secret, you and I will go looking at rings after school tomorrow."

When I picked her up the next afternoon, she had a list of all the jewelers on the island. She wanted to visit all of them. What Bella wants. Bella gets. She and I spent the next couple of weeks shopping.

It was the usual conundrum. We ended up back at the first shop we had looked through. The ring we chose was a simple diamond surrounded by small cut birth stones. They were Bella's, mine and hers. The jeweler said he could add more birth stones if we had more children.

It was simple but elegant. Bella approved and I paid.

The next thing Bella did was plan how I was to propose. She told me, "You are the best dad, but you don't understand women. I'll plan the proposal."

And plan she did. She and Aolani worked out all the details for a special dinner. They planned it for the date that Bella found me at Starbucks. That sounded good to Gina.

A special dinner on the day that our little Bella joined me.

Aolani did her usual excellent job of preparing and serving the meal. We were having a very relaxed dinner when Aolani served desert. On Gina's plate was only the ring box. She just sat there with tears running down her face. Still not yet opening the box.

Bella broke the silence, "Well aren't you going to open it?"

Gina just sat their shaking her head and crying. She made no move to open the box.

Bella just looked at me and said, "Well ask her."

So I did, "Gina will you make me the happiest man in the world and marry me?" I know it wasn't an elegant speech. But I'm not that good a speaker.

At that point Bella put her 2 cents in, "Say 'yes' so you can start making me a brother or sister."

Gina picked the box up and held it in very shaky hands saying "Yes, Yes, Yes!!!!!"

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The women went crazy for the next three months. They decided the location for the wedding (the park at Waikiki) and they even got a Catholic priest to provide over the outside wedding. The reception was to be at my country club, where there were to be about 200 guests, the bridesmaid was to be Bella and the best man was to be Keanu. The rest of the wedding party was to be our friends. Some of Gina's friends worked for the Italian embassy in Washington.

They were invited all expenses paid.

Gina's parents had died but she did have a sister and brother in Italy. They, along with their entire families were invited. Again all expenses paid. There were even a few distant cousins. (Yeah you got it.)

The 200 attendees grew to a little over 400 (all expenses paid). I ended up renting a couple of floors at one of the beach hotels. I don't even want to talk about the cost.

You guys know the routine. I wasn't allowed to do anything concerning the wedding dress (except pay for it), but both Bella and Gina accompanied me to pick out the tuxedos. I was under the impression that all I had to do was basically pick one.

Well was I wrong! Let me tell you, Gina and Bella spent all afternoon making sure my outfit was perfect. They almost drove the tailor to a nervous breakdown down with all their changes.

I'm just glad it was a black tuxedo with a white shirt. Just think what would have happened if I had wanted a colored shirt or, heaven forbid, a patterned cummerbund. We'd probably still be in the store.

All I can say is when Bella gets married, I'm going on a yearlong around the world cruise, ending the day before the wedding. I'm not going to be around for all that planning. I just couldn't stand the stress. I'm just going to leave the American Express card.

Every time Keanu walked by me, he just laughed. I was going to fire him after the wedding. I told him so, and he just laughed even harder.

The big day finally arrived. I wasn't allowed in my own house the few days before. I ended staying in the hotel with all Gina's relatives. They turned out to be a really fun bunch. Between my broken Italian and their broken English, (and my credit card), we got along famously.

There I was, standing in front of the makeshift altar with the priest, when this beautiful vision in white started down the aisle with the bridal party leading the way. She was my soon to be wife, Gina.

The rest of the afternoon was a blur. I remember saying "I do". I remember the reception.

I remember everyone congratulating me. And most of all I remember the wedding night........

That night we started on making a baby. But Gina had been on the pill and it took almost five months before it took.

Gina and I were gone three weeks on our honeymoon. She took me to her homeland and showed me the land of her birth. Italy is a beautiful country. And every night was special.

I hated to leave and return home to normal. That is if you can call living in Hawaii, normal.

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I really don't know who was happier between the three of us. All I know was that Bella helped pick out everything for the babies room, helped send out shower invasions, and accompanied Gina on all her visits to the OB.

Gina did draw the line at the labor room. Only I was allowed in there.

It was a beautiful May afternoon when Giorgio Douglas entered the world at 8.3 pounds. A very healthy baby boy. When Bella was allowed in the room, the first thing she did was visit her new brother, "Hi Giorgio, I'm your big sister. Welcome to our home."

The nurse picked the baby up and let Bella hold him for just a moment before giving him to his mom to start feeding. Bella watched everything Gina did with the baby. Bella had discovered the miracle of life and started to realize her place in it.

The wait in the hospital worked out, it was two days before Gina and son could leave the hospital. I think they were the longest two days in Bella's life. Bella had arranged to take the day off from school and was up and dressed at dawn. She supervised Keanu's installing the baby seat, placement of the diaper bag, and, of course, picked out all the baby toys. She lectured Keanu on keeping to the speed limit, missing pot holes, and general safe driving procedures. She informed him, "You are driving my brother home."

I knew I had to give him a bonus at Christmas for his patience.

Bella had plans to show her brother all the sights on his way home. Unfortunately, he slept all the way.

Anybody who has raised children knows that for the first few months, the child just eats, sleeps, and uses up diapers. Bella spent all her free time just watching her brother and asking Gina all sorts of questions. If I wanted to visit with Bella, I had to pick her brother up and leave the room. Bella followed as if on a leash.

I still can remember at about 3-4 months when Giorgio recognized his sister and gave her a big toothless grin. Bella was hooked. From that point on, Bella was his perfect big sister.

When Bella's friends came over they were subjected to tales of Giorgio's accomplishments. But being girls, they, loved it. It was cute to see all the girls watching when ever he needed a diaper change. And it was even funnier, when one or two of the girls got baptized during the changing.

They all complained....

I whispered to Gina that when the girls got older, they might enjoy getting squirted in the face. That earned me a punch in the arm and a dirty look. "I didn't know I married a pervert." was Gina's only comment.

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It took another year before anything of note happened. Gina and Bella had their annual physicals. Gina wanted to accompany Bella because Bella was approaching puberty and the check up would be more intimate.

When they returned, Bella was a very quiet little girl. She and Gina disappeared into Bella's bedroom with a pamphlet the doctor gave her. I guess Gina was going to tell Bella the facts of life.

Dads were not invited to these discussions.

They spent until dinner in Bella's bedroom. But when they sat down to dinner, Bella was acting like her old self. Gina held my hand through the meal. But she did give that, "We'll talk later." look.

We did talk later. Gina explained everything she, Bella, and the OB/GYN discussed. The out come of our talk was that I was to "keep my mouth shut, and not embarrass Bella."

I guess there are things fathers can't know concerning their daughters.

About a week passed when the doctor's office called. We were to bring Bella in for some additional tests. "No big deal, but the doctor just wants to check some additional things". The nurse gave us a series of appointments at the hospital and the lab.

The end result of all the tests was that Bella has leukemia.

We had a family visit with an oncologist. The man was full of hope and good news. There were phrases of "We caught it early, a bone marrow transplant and a little chemotherapy is all that's required."

And most important, "She'll live a long and productive live."

I was worried about finding a bone marrow donor because of our non-blood relationship. We got lucky. Bella had a very common bone marrow type. A match was no problem. A lot of Bella's friends volunteered to be tested as donors. While none of them were used, it made Bella very proud of her friends.

When it came time for the transplant, Gina and I just about lived at the hospital. She got cards and letters from all her class mates.

The bone marrow transplant was a success, but the oncologist wanted to still do chemotherapy, "Just in case".

Bella was a sick little girl. Her hair fell out. Gina and I shaved our heads too. The three of us made quite a sight. Bella picked out head scarves for Gina and I. The girl's scarves looked good on them. Mine was a weird pattern and color. My girls would look at me and snicker. I knew I'd been set up, but if it helped Bella. I didn't care.

One day I got a phone call from the school. They wanted me to bring Bella in for a homecoming rally. When the date of the rally arrived, Gina and I escorted Bella into the school's gym. Imagine my surprise when we walked in and found we were facing about 200 bald teenagers.

Her class had decided to show their support by shaving their heads.

Bella was weak, but she held on my arm and just smiled from ear to ear. The kids just chanted, "Bella." over and over again. Bella and Gina cried.

Me? Well let's say I must have gotten something in my eyes because they watered freely.

It was about a year after that first meeting with the oncologist, that we got the good news. The Doctor said the chemotherapy had worked and Bella was cancer free. She could start high school in the fall as a freshman.

We were a very happy family.

That night I overheard Bella telling her three year old brother that she'd be around to help him grow up. I cried my eyes out later. I never realized that Bella was contemplating death while dealing with her cancer.

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Bella and her brother were inseparable. If you found one you usually found the other. It got so bad that Gina and I enrolled him in preschool. This allowed Giorgio to tell his sister all about his "day at school". Gina and I watched in amazement as the two siblings developed a special bond.

The years flew by. Gina and I grew closer. I guess Bella's sickness was the catalyst. We behaved like an old married couple. By that I mean, sex dropped off to once or twice a week, we didn't sit on the couch and cuddle every night. Only on those nights!

Bella's sophomore and junior years passed quickly. Soon we were discussing colleges. In Hawaii, there aren't a lot of choices. So we expanded our search to the main land. We searched the west coast and the ivy leagues on the east coast.

Bella decided that she really didn't want to leave home so she elected to apply to Brigham Young University -Hawaii (BYU). It was a beautiful campus next to The Polynesia Cultural Center.

It was during the Christmas holidays that I noticed Bella wasn't her normal cheerful self. I chalked it up to the strain of the holidays and selecting a college. Well you can image my surprise when the school called. Bella had collapsed and was taken to emergency.

The Doctors poked and prodded the poor kid. They kept her overnight. Gina, Giorgio and I slept in her room at the hospital that night. The next morning, her old oncologist visited her. He kept ordering tests most of the day. That night, he sat us all down.

All he said was, "It's back."

Gina collapsed and I managed to catch her before she hit the floor. Giorgio ran from the room wanting to be along with his fear. Me, I just walked over to Bella's bed and started talking to her, "We'll beat it again. They will have new medicines. You'll be ready to graduate this spring and before you know....."

The Doctor took my arm. He just shook his head "No".

"She has about four months. There's nothing we can do. It's just too far advanced."

Gina collapsed again.

I felt Bella's arms go around me from behind and she said, "Just hold me, Poppie."

My daughter and I had a good cry.

Bella didn't make the doctor's promised four months. Bella left us one night about three months later, with Gina and I holding her. Giorgio, holding Bella's great big Teddy Bear at the foot of her bed with tears rolling down his cheeks.

The funeral was a solemn affair. Most of her senior class showed up at the grave site carrying simple leis of white flowers. Most of them ended up decorating her coffin. I'll admit it. I blubbered like a fool, "My little girl was gone".

That night I had my first dream. It was of a little girl with beautiful eyes watching me at Starbucks. I couldn't get those eyes to go away. I got out of bed and opened a bottle from my bar. I sat on the couch and finished the bottle. It helped me sleep that night.

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One morning before I started on a new bottle I saw Aolani watching me. She had a disproving expression on her face.

"It helps me forget her. It helps with the pain. It will only be for a little while." I explained.

She looked at me and said, "You've been drunk for the last six months."

"Gina would not let me be that the way"

Then Aolani hit me right between the eyes.

"Your wife and son have left you. They have gone back to Italy. They won't return until you're sober."

It took a few minutes because my brain wasn't hitting on all cylinders, but it finally sunk in. I resolved to start sobering up.

I got up from the chair and opened another bottle. I'd start tomorrow or maybe the next day but Friday I was checking in for detox.

Then the plan was a visit to Italy to reclaim my family just like Bella would want her Poppie to do.

The end.