Black Man Marries Arab Woman Ch. 07

The life of a Lebanese-born Canadian Christian woman married to a Haitian-American pagan doesn't sound like the easiest existence in the world, does it? My name is Antonia Abdirahman and I was born in the town of Hermel, Republic of Lebanon, and raised in the City of Montreal, Quebec. My family left the Republic of Lebanon in 1977, three years after I was born, due to the Lebanese Civil War. My folks, Muriel and Elias Abdirahman came to the Confederation of Canada as refugees, and although they raised me to be a proud Canadian, I was taught to be mindful ( and proud ) of my Arabian heritage. Never forget where you came from, my father used to say.

There are lots of Arab Christians living in Canada today, hailing mainly from Lebanon, Syria and Egypt. As the Islamists whip up anti-Christian sentiment throughout the Arab world, more Arab Christians leave for North America and Europe than ever before. We form huge communities in places like Quebec and Michigan. I went to a High School full of our people in the south side of Montreal. I started the Lebanese Christian Club at Saint Marie Academy. I'm told it's still active to this day. In 1992, at the age of eighteen I enrolled at the University of Montreal to study business administration. While there I met a handsome young man named Joseph Suleiman, the son of multimillionaire realtor and Lebanese Canadian icon Samson Suleiman. We fell in love, with our parents approval, and had a whirlwind romance. It was perfect, at first.

We came from the same community, had similar views on many things and attended the same church. Joseph was smart, attentive and charming. And he lavished me with gifts. I thought I had found prince charming. The guy swept me off my feet, and I became the envy of my girlfriends. Unfortunately, he revealed himself to be something else entirely. One day, I caught him in bed with Jacqueline, a Jamaican chick I knew from school. When I saw the love of my life in bed with another woman, it broke my heart. I ran home and cried...for three days. You've got to understand that Joseph was my first in many ways. I lost my virginity to that guy. I guess all that glitters isn't gold, eh? Wish someone had told me that at the time.

Life goes on after heartbreak, I guess. I focused on my studies, graduating from the University of Montreal with my bachelor's degree in business in 1996. I later earned my MBA from McGill University in 1999, and began working for Hydro Quebec as an account manager. I stayed at that job for six years, parting ways with the company in 2007. I got laid off due to the Recession. Although I was devastated at the time, I eventually saw this for the opportunity it truly was. In life, everything is either a calamity or an opportunity, depending on how you look at it. I decided to expand my horizons, and instead of trying to rejoin the rat race, I went on vacation. While visiting the island of Saint Lucia for thirteen days of pleasure, I met a tall, handsome young man. Jean-Michel Salomon, a Miami-born Haitian guy who made a living working at the Imperial Hotel as an entertainer. The guy was good-looking, witty and charming but I'd been warned about silver-tongued Caribbean guys who preyed on wealthy, naïve female tourists. I wasn't about to open my heart or my wallet to the likes of him.

I made the most of my stay on the island, enjoying myself on the wind-swept beach, trying out some culinary delicacies I'd certainly never heard of and taking in the raw beauty of the island. The men and women of Saint Lucia were very different from the folks of Montreal where I lived. They were friendly, free-spirited and easygoing. In the big cities of Quebec, people are so busily trying to make money that they forget to live. Nothing unusual about that, it's the North American way of life. Get up early, get out there and make money. Always chase money, even if you kill yourself at work before you get a chance to enjoy it. That's how we measure success in Western society.

The people of Saint Lucia seemed to have a different mentality altogether. A time to work, a time to pray and a time to play, that's what everyone in Saint Lucia understood. I admired that about them. I've never seen such a happy people. In spite of myself I became curious about their mindset, their outlook on life, and who better to ask than Jean-Michel Salomon, entertainer extraordinaire and island life expert? I approached him one night at the hotel store and asked him a few questions, which led to more questions. Jean-Michel was all smiles as I approached him. He told me he was surprised that I came to him since I'd been cold towards him since my arrival on the island. I'm a reserved person, I said by way of apology. He seemed pleased, then asked me to join him on a tour of the isle.

As we walked on the sandy beach, J.M. told me about the island of Saint Lucia's unique history, and spoke passionately about its culture and people. I saw the passion in his eyes, and couldn't help asking him if he was a native. To my immense surprise, J.M. revealed to me that he was born in the City of Miami, Florida, to Haitian immigrant parents. I was shocked, to tell you the truth. Laughing heartily, J.M. pulled his US passport out of his pocket, and showed it to me. I left Miami for Saint Lucia two years ago and I haven't looked back, he told me with a grin. He told me how the Imperial Hotel paid him three thousand dollars U.S. per month as its Director of Entertainment. I keep you tourists happy, he said. Good for you, I said, honestly impressed. This guy is making that kind of money for living on an island paradise. And I'm out of a job when I get back to Montreal. Life is funny, isn't it?

J.M. and I got to know each other better as the days went by, and he proved himself most friendly and charming. I confided in him about stuff I'd never told anyone before. I don't know why, I just felt comfortable around him. Jean-Michel could relate to what I was going through, even though we came from different worlds. I sensed that, like me, he was running from something by leaving Florida for Saint Lucia. When I pressed him about it, he revealed a piece of his past to me. A couple of years before we met, J.M. met a young woman named Fatima Osman in Orlando. She was a Somali immigrant. Born into a Catholic family, for her sake he almost converted to Islam. I walked away from the Abrahamic Religions and weird foreign women after Fatima ditched me for an Arab guy named Abdul, J.M. said grimly. I follow the Voodoo faith now, he added firmly.

There was a look of such sadness and elemental pain on Jean-Michel's handsome face that I felt moved to touch him on the shoulder. Whoever this Fatima Osman chick was, she hurt him real bad. The poor guy. We all go through hell for love of those who don't deserve us, I told him. He scoffed and wondered aloud what a beautiful, well-to-do woman like me would know of pain. I shook my head, and my grip on his arm hardened. I've had my share of pain, I said defiantly. Without being prompted I told him about Joseph Suleiman, my first love. Our whirlwind romance, his cheating, and how I've been unable to love ever since.

When I finished my impassioned spiel, Jean-Michel looked at me silently. I feel your pain, he said simply, and gave me a hug. And for the first time ever, I let go...of all the pain, anger, fear and loneliness I'd been holding onto for ages. I hugged him fiercely, and quietly sobbed. J.M. tenderly held my face in his hands, and told me I was safe with him. No one will hurt you if I can prevent it, he said calmly. That's when I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he and I were meant for each other. There we were, two people who had only known each other for a few days, holding each other and kissing like long-time lovers on the beach. A Haitian-American pagan and a Lebanese Christian woman. Talk about strange bedfellows!

Thus it began, my great love affair with Jean-Michel Salomon. When I came back to Montreal, he came with me. We decided to give a relationship a shot. Adjusting to life in Canada as an American national wasn't easy for J.M. but with my help he gave it a shot. He had to apply for things like a work permit and social insurance card. Thankfully, his bachelor's degree in Entertainment Management from Florida State University and his MBA from the University of Central Florida were valid in Canada. He found a job working for the Bank of Montreal as a cleric. Kind of an entry-level position he was overeducated for, but a job's a job. We were married a year after we met, and like every couple that ever lived, we've had our ups and downs.

In 2008, twins were born to us, Alexander and Rania, and they have been such a blessing. I'm now right where I was born to be. Living in beautiful Montreal with my husband and our lovely brats, and even though things haven't been easy ( my family wasn't happy about my marrying a Black man, there's a lot of racism in the Arab world ) we have persevered through the difficulties. In this life, none of us know what lies ahead. All we can do is move forward in spite of all the terrible things we've experienced. To do otherwise would be conceding defeat to death and fate. I'm simply not ready to do that. Are you?