Bless Me Father for I have Sinned 02

Now instead of thinking of him as her priest, she thought of him as if he was a sexual predator and he was. She looked at him in the way she looked at all men from her past when she told them that she was saving her virginity for her husband, whomever he may be. She looked at him in the way she looked at all men from her past who were intent on despoiling her and deflowering her after she told them she couldn't see them anymore. She looked at him in the way she looked at all men from her past who were intent on despoiling her and deflowering her after she told them she that she was intent on becoming a nun. She looked at him in the way she looked at all men from her past who were intent on despoiling her and deflowering her after she told them she that she was saving herself for Jesus.

Instead of respecting her, thinking she was just giving them an excuse not to have sexual intercourse with them, they laughed at her. Instead of honoring her decision to remain a virgin, they tempted her with sex before trying to force themselves on her. As if she was their mountain they needed to climb and their conquest they needed to make, seemingly she insulted their manhood by wanting to remain a virgin. Yet, instead of apologizing to them for accepting their invitation to go out on a date with them, even though she had already given her heart, her body, and her soul to God, she never saw them again. Obviously, they didn't care about her as a person and in the way that her priest obviously doesn't care that she was a nun. They just wanted to have sex with her. They just wanted to fuck her.

'Good riddance. Bye,' she thought whenever thinking about closing that door to her past and to all of those men in her sexual life.

Those men who constantly and continually pressured her to have sex, especially those men who pressured her to have sexual intercourse, inspired her to become a nun. Before she made her decision to become a nun and to give herself to body, her mind, her soul, and her heart to God, she gave her dates hand jobs. She even gave them blowjobs while they felt her tits and fingered her nipples but she wouldn't make love to them. She wouldn't have sexual intercourse with them and fuck them of course. With her still indecisive about becoming a nun, just in case she made her decision, she needed to remain a virgin. A rare woman and an odd duck, with her still a virgin and with it an odd thought for her to have, she was saving her pussy for Jesus.

She still couldn't believe the inappropriate behavior of Father Thomas. How dare he touch, feel, and fondle her breasts through her clothes. How dare he sexually arouse her by fingering the impressions of her emerging nipples through her habit and her bra? How dare he reach around behind her to feel her virginal ass and part her ass cheeks with his fingertips through her habit and panty? How dare he try and kiss her, French kiss her, and kiss her in such a passionately sexual way while feeling her tits, fingering her nipples, and feeling her ass through her clothes? How dare he tempt her to break her vow of celibacy?

Instead of having to handle a horny man on a date, a man who seemingly had four hands, she had a new threat to her virginity from unexpected villains, first the Holy Mother, then sisters Christine, Angelica, and Dolores, and now her priest of all people. It was one thing when Mother Superior pushed her back on her bed when she unexpectedly came in her room to talk to her in private. It was quite another thing when she touched her naked breast through her nightgown, fingered her nipple, and reached between her legs to finger her naked pussy.

'Oh, my God,' she thought to herself while remembering that disturbing episode of sexual abuse.

It was something else entirely when she tried to part her lips with her tongue and tried to kiss her, French kiss. Feeling sexually abused from all angles, it was another thing when Sister Christine touched her naked breast and grabbed her naked ass when she was taking a shower. Yet this, her own priest trying to have his wicked sexual way with her was too much. Continually having to defend herself to save her honor and her virginity, she rebuked the Holy Mother in the way she reproved Sister Christine, Sisters Angelica and Dolores, and now admonished Father Thomas.

Who next? The Bishop? No doubt, if she met the Cardinal, he'd want to fuck her too. Maybe, if he had the chance to have an audience with him alone, perhaps the Pope would do her too. As if they never made them before God, how could these men take their vows of celibacy so lightly?

How dare he treat her in such a disrespectful way? How dare he touch her, feel her, and fondle her through her habit and underwear? How dare he sexually arouse her and give her erotic thoughts by fingering her nipples through her habit and bra? How dare he sexually excite her by fingering her nipples through her bra and feeling her ass through her habit and panty? How dare he disrespect her station in the church and disrespect her holy crucifix that hung from her neck by feeling her ass through her clothes while trying to French kiss her?

'Oh, my God.'

Maybe he should grope, feel, and fondle one of the other nuns, nuns she knows who have had sex with men and/or with women even after taking their vows celibacy. As if they're still whores, some nuns are just as slutty now as they were before they took their vows of celibacy. As if they're celebrity movie stars going to a club, some nuns don't even have the modesty of wearing panties beneath their habits. As if they're looking for someone to help them break their vow of celibacy, some nuns curse and tell off color jokes about men's private parts.

Only, she wasn't one of those nuns. Even though she had a sexual past, she wasn't anything like them. Already having had her sexual experiences that she appropriately put behind her, she was a good, kind, and morally modest nun. If any nun was a Sister of the Holy Order of Virgins, she exemplified the definition. She was here for God and not here to have sex with other nuns, her priest, and/or her parishioners.

Now, after catching Sister Mary with Playgirl magazines and catching Sister Theresa reading erotic and pornographic stories on Literotica, that was mild in comparison to what Mother Superior wanted and what Father Thomas was intent on doing to her virginal body. She was embarrassed when she walked in on Sister Angelica and Sister Dolores when they were both naked, going down on one another, and having lesbian sex while in the 69 position. She was even more embarrassed when they showed her no embarrassment, shame, modestly, and/or remorse by asking her to get naked too and join them.

Just as how dare her priest try and have sex with her, how dare the Holy Mother proposition her? How dare Sisters Angelica and Dolores try and enlist her into their little lesbian conclave? Obviously, when it comes to breaking vows over sex, the Church is broken? Obviously, when it comes to taking the vow of celibacy, with the Church turning a blind eye, these vows were meant to be broken. These vows were meaningless in the eyes of the Catholic Church.

'Dear God in Heaven, please deliver me from evil,' she thought when looking at her priest.

Seemingly twisted in his own mind, he looked at her as if she sexually wanted him as much as he sexually wanted her and maybe she did. Seemingly, he looked at her as if she wasn't a nun and a Sister of the Holy Order of Virgins but a slut and a whore and maybe she was. Maybe he saw something in her that she was unable to see, admit, or realize. Seemingly possessed by the Devil, he looked at her as if he was no longer a man of God but a disciple of Satan.

How dare he treat her as if she was just another woman, a slutty whore from his congregation of lonely, sexually frustrated housewives, instead of treating her as one of the wives of Jesus? How dare he violate his vow of celibacy, abuse his power as a priest in the Catholic Church, and shame his collar by trying to have sex with her? How dare he? How dare he? How dare he?

"Of course. I see the issue now. I understand. I'm sorry. Relax. Bless you, my child," he said blessing her by making the sign of the cross with his extended hand and fingers. "In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost," he said. "We should talk about this before we continue, shall we?"

Talk about what? What's there to talk about? There's nothing to talk about. Continue? Continue with what? She's not going to continue with anything that he wants her to do sexually. The only thing she wanted to continue with doing was to leave the rectory and to return to the sanctity of the convent and to the safety of her room. Not inviting her to sit, with her looking as if she was ready to bolt, Father Thomas walked around her and locked his rectory door.

'Oh, oh,' she thought. 'Now what? Is he going to strip himself naked? Is he going to strip me naked too? Is he going to rape me? Is he going to force me to give him sex? Because she's now being kicked out of the convent as of this day after meeting with her priest, is he going to ruin her for God and fuck her?'

"Father?"

Now panicked, Sister Kathryn looked from him to look at the locked door before returning her focused attention to her priest. She could run, perhaps even beat him to the locked door but, unless she lifted her habit to mid-thigh, it was hard for her to run without tripping over what she was wearing. She didn't know what to do other than to pray.

'Dear God in Heaven, please save me from this demonic priest. Dear Virgin Mary, please allow me to keep my virginity. Dear Saint Michael, please slay this diseased priest,' she silently prayed.

"There's no need to worry, my child. I'm not going to rape you, Sister Kathryn," he said with a demonic laugh. As if she was the crazy one, he talked to her in a calming voice, a voice that a psychiatrist would use with a patient. "Just in case there's an intruder, I lock my door whenever I want privacy," he said. "As you may know, this church is filled with prying eyes, busybodies, and sexually frustrated housewives who don't have a life of their own and who have grown sexually attracted to their priest."

'Sexually attracted to their priest? Oh, my God. By his own confession, the rumors of him having sex with the sexually frustrated housewives of his congregation as well as weak nuns are true,' she thought while trying to remain calm and not panic.

Suddenly, a myriad of thoughts ran through her mind. She wondered how many women he had sex with in his congregation. She wondered how many women he had sex with from other congregations. She wondered how many women he had sex with since becoming a priest. While leaving their morals and modesty behind, she wondered how many sexually frustrated housewives he counselled and consoled without the modesty of their clothes. Seemingly, his priestly position and white collar worked as a chick magnet.

Then she wondered how many women he impregnated and how many children sitting in church were his. He has no right to call himself priest. He should be excommunicated. He should be banned from the Church. How dare he call himself a priest?

She had a good mind to report him to the Bishop. Only, with the Bishop a man too, who probably has had sexual indiscretions with parishioners as well as with nuns, what good would her reporting him do? If the Catholic Church didn't take action when priests were sexually abusing children, why would they take action now when priests use their position of power to sexually abuse nuns and parishioners? Especially when some of those nuns and parishioners who were sexually solicited were consenting adults, just because priests and nuns had broken their vows of celibacy, seemingly as far as the Catholic Church was concerned, it was no big deal. In the way that politicians customarily take bribes and police officers are on the take, the clergy have sex behind closed doors while imposing their holier than thou wills upon the masses.

Are there no more honorable people in the world? If she couldn't trust a politician who proclaims that he or she is a public servant, while serving their own personal agenda, who could she trust? If she couldn't trust a police officer who is sworn to uphold the law and then breaks the law by stealing from those thieves and drug dealers who steal from the public, who could she trust? If she couldn't trust her own Holy Mother and her sister nuns who made lesbian, sexual passes at her, who could she trust? If she couldn't trust a priest who took a vow of celibacy and was now determined to have sex with her in the private sanctity of his rectory, who could she trust? Is there no one, other than God, that she could trust?

As if Father Thomas was about to say a silent prayer, he bowed his head before looking up at the statute of Jesus that was positioned on the rectory wall behind her. Then, looking down from the statue, he looked at her with sexually excited eyes. With her trying to understand his motives in wanting to have sex with her, she looked at him with questioning eyes. In the way she took a vow of celibacy, he did too. In the way she was a woman of God, he was a man of God too. Yet, now erasing all of that with just a look, in the way he looked at her with sex, she looked at him with fright.

"Talk about what? I don't even know why I'm here in the rectory alone with you," said Sister Kathryn with a defiant attitude. She folded her arms across her breasts in the way one of the disobedient, young girls does that she teaches in parochial school.

Even though she was shocked, insulted, and angry that her priest touched, felt, and fondled her breasts while fingering her nipples, feeling her ass through her clothes, and trying to French kiss her, unable to stop the rush, she was sexually excited. Other than by her own fingers, it had been a very long time, years, since she was this sexually aroused by a man. Now feeling shame and embarrassment that she'd have such human, sexual feelings, she'd have to say a thousand Hail Mary's and flog herself with her leather rosary beads as soon as she returned to her room. Even more than that and even though none of this was her fault, she'd have to ask for God's forgiveness for sexually desiring a mere, mortal man over him, her husband. How dare she?

Perhaps, something planned between Mother Superior and Father Thomas, being tempted, maybe they were testing her faith to see what she'd do and how far she'd go. Maybe instead of falling to her knees to pray, they suspected that she'd fall to her knees to suck. Maybe this was nothing more than a test of her faith and the reason why Mother Superior sent her to see the priest. Duh, how dumb can she be not to see that this was nothing more than a test of her faith?

'Yes, of course, that's what this is. Especially when she had already rejected Mother Superior's lesbian solicitation, this is a test and the reason why the Holy Mother sent her to a priest, a man for this test of faith,' she thought. 'Of course this is a test, what else could this be? This is a test. This is just a test. No sense getting my panties in a bunch, it's just all a test of me and of my faith. If that's the case and if, indeed, this is just a test, I welcome the opportunity to pass such a test of my faith,' she thought to herself as if talking to herself.

After the recent sexual abuse scandal of Catholic Priests sexually using and abusing young boys, she had confessed to Mother Superior that she was having a difficult time believing. She was conflicted whether she should leave the order for marriage and to start a family. After working with children for so long, she'd love to have a child of her own.

Yet, now that such immediate action was taken on her behalf, she needed to be judicious in what she voiced to her Holy Mother. Obviously, what she deemed as just a hiccup in her faith was a monumental moment to Mother Superior and Father Thomas. Instead of being angry with them, she needed to thank them and be grateful for their immediate help and spiritual support.

'God bless them. God bless the both of them,' she silently thought.

She laughed at her folly in thinking that the Holy Mother and her priest were trying to temp her to break her vow of celibacy. How silly for her to think that? So foolish of her to think that such a holy woman and such a holy man would break their vows of celibacy for mere sex, she needed to be more trusting. She needed to believe that not everyone was out to get her. She needed to know that she was now in a safe place.

'Now that I know what this was, this is just about them wanting to see if I'd stumble in my faith for sex,' she thought. 'If that's the case, bring it on Father. Give me your best shot and I'll show you that, just as I'd never break my vow of celibacy, I'd never lose my faith in God and/or in my religion for sex with you or with anyone else but with Jesus.'

To be continued...

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