Book 02: A Match Made Ch. 03

"I'll give the two of you some privacy," Susan said before leaving.

"Was that why you tried to hurt yourself, lover?"

"I couldn't fucking believe it. We were hugging, kissing, and then you said something that made me cry. I fell asleep. When I woke up you were gone. I... it's stupid but I panicked. I should have known you were with Shade and Destiny."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. But I also realized this was more about how messed up Kara was emotionally. In those few sentences I realized that a lot had changed. Lots of time would be needed to help my blondie regain her footing - emotionally and physically.

"I'm so sorry, lover," I said as I bent to kiss her. She put her hand behind my head and held me to her mouth. The kiss was as desperate as it was delicious. It was a kiss we would have shared before that mess in August.

I waited until she turned me loose before I said anything more.

"I didn't know, Kara. It never occurred to me that you would think like that, react like that. How are you feeling?"

"I'm achy, tired, and hungry." She smiled at me. "And horny." That was said while wiggling her eyebrows. I laughed.

I drew little circles on the hospital gown where her nipples were, which elicited a throaty groan.

"I want to touch you, baby." I smiled, pulled my blouse out of the slacks, and put her hand underneath. The blues stayed on mine as she walked her fingers up my tummy to the girls. They perked right up at her touch. Kitty fainted.

"Kitty's gonna kill me; you know that right?" Kara giggled. I sighed. "I've missed you, and for way more than this. We have a lot of work to do, lover."

"I need you." It was said in such a plaintive way I almost cried. I shook my head.

"I want you, Kara. You've always been so strong. It's one of the things I love about you. Needing me is something else." I took her hand from under my blouse and kissed it. "How long were you taking that crap?" The blues went flat.

"I don't want to talk about it." Yeah great!

"Kara?" I waited till she looked at me. "A decision needs to be made about whether you need to be admitted to rehab." Her eyes got wide for a moment then fire shot at me. I nodded. "Whatever you're thinking, just say it."

"That fucking bitch is a shrink. She fucked with me and did the same to you. You asked me in Michigan if there was more." That's true. "After I went along with the shower thing, she threatened to tell you that I'd gone along with it." I felt my heart speed up and my jaw clench. "I see the anger in your eyes." She closed her eyes for a moment. "She wanted to fuck me; wanted me back under her control."

"What!"

"I don't know, Lissy. She was in love with you I think, or wanted to be. I'm not sure. I think she hated that we were so much in love. Maybe she was jealous that I'd found happiness with you."

I tore my hand from hers and walked around the room.

"Don't leave me again, please." I stopped.

"I'm furious, Kara, but not at you. I'm so angry with that bitch. She used what I told her in confidence to hurt you, to hurt me, in an effort, apparently, to drive us apart. I'm still trying to figure out how Becky figures in to all of this."

Kara started to cry. She turned on her side away from me while she did. Totally confused, I tried to figure out what she was crying about.

Susan wandered into the room, all bright eyed and smiling - until she saw Kara. She looked at me with questions in her eyes. All I could do was shrug.

"Kara, what's the matter? Do you hurt?" Still crying, she shook her head. "Lissy, do you know?"

"No, not really. We were just talking about some things. I made a statement about someone; how she fits into all of this."

"She made me do it. I thought it was you. She tricked me; she had me zoned out of my head on that shit."

I'd brought my hands to my mouth when Kara had said, 'I thought it was you.' That fuck must have raped her. I was boiling with rage.

"Is it what I think it is lover?" Still crying, she nodded.

"May I tell Susan?" Another nod. "May I do it here or should I tell her in the hallway?" She waved her hand.

Her pretty face showed confusion and concern when Susan turned to me in the hallway,

"Someone tricked Kara into having sex? Did I get that right; somehow she thought it was you?"

"I dated a woman named Becky Reynolds a couple of times. The connection isn't completely clear yet but Becky bailed Kara out after she was arrested. I only saw her by accident. A friend of Kara's called me after she turned Kara down. I went to the station; she was gone. We wouldn't have known who did what if Becky hadn't come back." I wanted to break something and wanted to vomit. I bolt of lightning struck. "Holy shit; I just thought of something." I shook my head.

"What is it?"

"Becky called me maybe 5 minutes before Kara did." I looked into her eyes. "It was the first time I'd heard from Kara in all the time we were apart. I hadn't given it much thought before she said what she did. I wonder if it isn't all connected."

"Are you referring to the first call from this Becky, the call from Kara, and the sexual assault?" I nodded.

"I have to ask Kara, but yes. I'll tell some friends of ours about this later. Come on, I don't want to be away from her too long." We hustled back into the room. I walked over to my honey and kissed her. I grabbed a box of tissues that was on the table next to the bed. "Dry your eyes and blow your nose, beautiful. I have some questions for you."

"And I have to do nurse type things like take your blood pressure."

"Blondie, I'm trying to figure something out. I think it was a week ago that you called. Becky called me a little bit before you did. She wanted to go to dinner again. I told her I was still worried about you. Did she say anything when she told you to call?" She shook her head.

"She brought me the phone and told me to call. She was standing real close and told me it was time to go long before I wanted to. She took the phone with her after giving me 3 pills and telling me to take them." My heart was breaking. "I was either asleep or unconscious, maybe both. I didn't know if it was a dream. There was very little light in the dungeon anyway. I saw brown hair; she used your name. That's why I started to cry when you kissed me."

Susan started to cry. I'd almost forgotten she was there. Through sniffles, she said, "I'm sorry. It's not professional but I can't help it. I'm so upset and I don't even know the two of you. That's among the most disgusting tales I've ever heard." She tried a brave smile that came out sorta floppy. "Kara, can I get you anything? Lunch should be up soon."

"No thanks. I'm sorry if I upset you. I didn't figure it out for a few days and was heartbroken and full of guilt when I did."

"Like I said, I don't know the two of you, but it's clear you're very much in love." She laid a hand on my arm and said, "Love is precious, ladies, and it takes work to make a relationship work. Do whatever you have to and make this right." After giving us a brilliant smile she left.

We looked at each other. I saw sorrow in the blues. I wanted to climb on the bed, hold Kara and tell her it was okay, that I didn't blame her for what happened. Any of it; we both made mistakes. I was an idiot for not staying, talking, and hearing her side of the story. Neither of us called the other - the reasons didn't matter anymore. And there's no way in hell she could be blamed for that bitch taking advantage of her while she was under the influence of those drugs.

"We'll get past this, Kara. We have to get you healthy and get your emotional health back." She shook her head.

"I don't know. I'm pretty broken. I looked forward to what she did to me; the pain I mean. I snuck extra pills, which I knew meant she'd beat me even more." She looked away from me, shrugged, and said, "With enough of that shit, the pain didn't get through the haze, which was exactly what I wanted." I shivered. I know some of that feeling.

Fuck it. I lowered the railings climbed on the bed and lay next to her. I didn't think Susan would mine one bit; she'd probably laugh. Amusement and surprise battled in the blues. I put my arms around my girl and kissed her. 3½ months isn't a long time, I suppose, unless it's spent apart from someone who was such an important part of my life in so many ways. Point? I've mentioned that we were just about living together. There was the rhythm of everyday life; and then there's the sex. As if our hips contained magnets, our bodies moved together.

"We can't do this here, even if it is a private room. That woman will be back, plus she said lunch will be here soon."

"I know, baby, but my body is screaming for us." I nodded.

"Mine too if it's any consolation. Kitty miss us much?" Giggling broke out.

"Mm hmm. Yours?"

"Mm hmm."

All this was said in whispers in between kisses.

"I'm scared, Lissy." I nodded.

"It's okay to be, honey. I'm so angry with myself we let this go on as long as we have. If I'd called, you wouldn't have had..." She stopped me.

"Don't. There's no reason in the world to blame yourself. Alexis..." Kara shook her head. "Bette is an asshole. I never should have answered her calls, never should have listened to her bullshit. She had no hold on me; you would never have believed any of her bullshit." I nodded.

"Okay, blondie, let's do this. There is no winner here; we're both losers. There's plenty of blame to go around and zero need for either of us to let it fester in our hearts or minds. I don't know how long it will take for us to work this out, but I promise you I'll do whatever I have to in order for us to get things straightened out and us moving forward." She nodded.

"Yeah, I'm with you. I wish it hadn't happened ... but it did. I'll do whatever to get things back to the way they were."

"That makes my little heart sing you two." We looked at each other and giggled.

"How much of it did you hear, Susan?" Neither of us made any attempt to move or unwind from each other. I'm pretty sure kitty was looking for a way to cut through my clothes to get to her honey. And if the way Kara's hips were moving was any indication, her honey was more or less doing the same.

"Well, I heard the names Alexis and Bette and whatever came after. Kara, I need to know if you're feeling any effects of not having taken any of the drug for more a couple of days." I was curious as well.

"I get sweats out of nowhere, and it's not like the room is too hot. I've had some muscle cramps in odd places. I don't miss taking it, nor do I miss how it made me feel." Yay! I kissed my girl.

"That's a good sign. It may be that you were dependent on it but not addicted. If you were going through withdrawal you'd know. It's not pleasant. Are you tired?" Kara looked at me.

"Actually I am. I think I'll take a nap." I smiled; Susan laughed.

"All righty then, you two have a good 'nap.'"

"Tired huh?" I felt a hand tug on my blouse. Uh oh!

"Yeah, I'm tired of you having all these clothes on."

Insistent fingers dove under the cup of my bra and found my nipple. Kitty was begging. The girls were giggling. I wasn't sure where this would wind up and I wasn't sure I didn't want it to include nudity; lots of nudity. Both of us.

"Even if you're not hooked on that shit, Kara, you and I both need to go to a shrink. We both have a bunch of stuff to work on and work out. Plus, you have to find a job."

"Can I ask you something?" Blondes!

"You're retarded, do you know that?" A gorgeous pout was my reward. I laughed. "I missed that pout, lover."

"Something you said is bugging the hell outta me. You said you dated this Becky woman. You had a dinner date with Bette on Halloween. Why?" What!!

"Kara, there is no way in hell I would ever do anything like that. She came to my table, said hi, and wondered where you were. When I told her that we weren't seeing each other she was shocked. Beyond shocked; stunned. I basically told her to go fuck herself. She walked away; I never saw her again." I saw confusion and more in her eyes. Then it hit me.

"Wait, were you following me? I saw you that one time at the coffee shop just for the briefest of moments. The only other time I saw you was a Saturday when desperation and curiosity got the better of me. I went to your place. I nearly fainted when I saw you walk out the door. I thought maybe you spotted me when you came out and walked away. I ducked under the steering wheel, panicked that you had."

"I don't want to interrupt, Lissy. Let me know when you're done."

"I'm done."

"I got to a point where I had decided I wanted to find you so we could settle this. I saw you at Dunkin Donuts on my birthday. At least I think it was then. I did see you in the car but I couldn't bring myself go talk to you. By then I was well on my way to being wasted on that shit. I craved numb; it's pathetic to admit but it's true. Numb felt so much better than the pain, the loneliness, the missing you." She shrugged before continuing.

"I went absolutely nuts that night. It was snowing. I walked and walked. I have no idea where." After a pause, she said, "I need to pee. I'll be right back." I panicked.

"You're not going to hurt yourself are you?" She made a face.

"I need to use the goddamn bathroom. I'll be right back."

After a kiss she got up and headed around the corner. Exhausted, I turned on my back. I felt all the energy leak from my body. I have no idea if this could be considered therapy but I felt every bit as drained as I had after some of my sessions.

A knock on the door startled me. A lady came in with what could only be a food tray. I saw her eyes widen and smiled.

"Thank you." She nodded and left.

Maybe a minute later blondie wandered back to bed.

"Yay! Food!" She headed to the tray. "I'm so hungry that even this tasteless crap is good." I laughed.

"You have your lunch, lover. Can I grovel enough to get your coffee?" I got her sly smirk in response.

"It will involve sexual favors." I rolled my eyes.

"You drive a hard bargain, you slut. But coffee is worth whatever the price is." I saw an eyebrow arch.

"Slut is it?" I nodded.

"My slut." She nodded.

"That I am. Pet." I shivered.

"Can we not go there right now please?"

"Yeah okay; I'm sorry. That's probably a good idea right about now." She lifted the cover on the 'entree' and giggled. "Oh yay, something masquerading as turkey, I think, with grossly overdone veggies and mashed potatoes. I think I'll start with the ice cream." I pushed up in anticipation of Kara handing me coffee. She arched an eyebrow.

"What?" She smirked.

"Coffee deserves sexual favors." I closed my eyes and shook my head.

"Give me my coffee, you bitch, and eat your lunch. I'll have dessert after you finish." She giggled; I did too.

"Did I just hear what I think I heard?" Oh great; Susan wandered in, all smiles. Kara blushed. I smiled.

"We were just talking about what a fine nurse and human being you are, Nurse Susan." I got a hearty laugh in response.

"You are thoroughly and delightfully full of shit, young lady." I put my hands on my hips.

"I'm every bit as old as you I'll have you know." She rolled her eyes.

"Drink your coffee and shaddup." I wondered if I had met my twin and if we were separated at birth.

"You're quite odd and frankly, I like it." She shot me a smile.

"How's the feast, Kara? You look like you're enjoying it." Kara snarled.

"I'd eat dog food as hungry as I am. It's crap and I may lick the plate." A hearty laugh ensued.

"Poor food service always gets the worst patient reviews. They have the most impossible job trying to serve healthy meals for, literally, pennies. I'm always super nice to those poor women. They're generally not paid that much for all the work they do." She shook her shoulder length hair. "I'll be back later. You two be good." She laughed as she left.

I looked at blondie and said, "Lick the plate, huh?"

Kara never looked at me; she laughed, nodded and said, "It could happen."

She ran a finger through the 'gravy,' brought it to her mouth, and make lewd slurping noises. When she was finished with her ridiculously hysterical display she let her eyes roll up in her head, scrunched her shoulders together and shivered, mimicking, I thought, the tail end of an orgasm. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. My girl was back!

"Are you done yet?" She picked up the plate and licked it. I laughed. "Stop it!! Just stop it! I can't stop laughing."

The little snot had the nerve to bow, after a fashion, from her bedside chair.

***

It was about 2:30 when Susan wandered in. You'll be shocked, I know, to hear that we were in bed cuddling. Yes we were clothed. I think she was half expecting us to be in some state of undress. She certainly started off with a bang.

"How was your nap, Kara?" We laughed. Blondie came back with a good one of her own.

"Not half as good as lunch!" More laughter.

"Touché, Kara; that was very well done - almost as well done as the vegetables." I wondered if she'd ever get to whatever it was that brought her to the room. Eventually she did.

"I've talked to Dr. Hamilton and he's on board with discharging you." We looked at each other. "Is that a surprise?"

"You're the patient, lover; you go first." Kara nodded and turned to Susan.

"Yeah, I guess so. I'm a little nervous about getting out. It's been a while since I've lived normally."

"Lissy said you were going home with her..." Kara turned her head quickly; I smiled. "So you'll be with your honey. I assume you're familiar with wherever she lives."

Still looking at me, Kara said, "Yeah, I am. You trust me, even after all this, to be alone with you in the house?"

Startled, I blanched. "Yes of course I do, lover. We'll have the weekend to get acquainted again. We'll deal with Monday on Sunday maybe. Whenever. Point is... we've both waited for this day, hoped for it, wondered what we'd do if it ever came. Well, it's here." I kissed her. "Let's go home."

"You two are amazing. I'll be back when I have the paperwork."

Kara said, "I don't exactly have a lot of clothes to wear. And how do we get there? You said you were staying with Shade and Destiny, in part because you didn't have the car."

"It might work out, especially given the clothing situation, if we spend tonight at your place. We can order something for dinner if you like, spend a quiet night, and go to the house tomorrow." Kara nodded in agreement. "Among other things, it should be a lot quicker without Friday night rush hour traffic."

"I like it a lot, baby. It will be nice to get home and sleep in my own bed for the first time in forever." She smiled shyly. "And it will be heaven to have you next to me - at last." Without a word, we took each other's hand and leaned our foreheads together.

***

"Kara's home, Jenna!"

"That's fabulous, Mom. My god, that was quick. Can you tell me what happened?"

"Well, let me start with today and tomorrow. I stayed the last couple of nights with Shade Nguyen and Destiny Langan, friends of ours. Destiny dropped me off at the hospital today before she went to work." I gave her more of the details.

"Wow, that's wonderful. Where are you? Are you excited?" I smiled at my honey, whose head was on my lap on her couch.

"I'm content more than anything. She's safe, she's home, and she's with me. We ordered dinner delivered and are spending a quiet night together. We'll get up tomorrow and head to the house for the weekend."

"Oh I'm so excited for you both!! I know Ian will be happy as well. Um, do you mind if I ask about your visit? Does Kara being home mean you won't come?" I looked at blondie, who looked at me with questions on her face.