Boot Camp

None of the men ever said a thing about it, but when they yelled at Castille from then on they did it from a foot or more away. They all found out rather quickly that she responded much more strongly to a soft, dangerous tone than a yell anyway. She buckled down without complaint when they jumped on her, and glowed under praise. He wondered how close that "Roman slave girl" was to the surface.

Taglieri forced himself to stop musing, stood up, and ambled back to the rec-room to discuss the following day with the other Instructors.

III.

It had been another grueling three weeks. The squad was down to 4 people. Castille had been the squad leader for the last mission. The mission was successful, which meant she had immunity from the next vote. She would be one of the final two and allowed to compete for the big prize. Her mission had been artwork, all of the direct leadership she had been holding back during the previous weeks came to the surface and the squad had shined. The Instructors were extremely proud. Taglieri was so pleased with Castille's performance as a squad leader, he had to restrain himself from hugging her.

As with all the missions, reward came to the squad when they were successful. They were given a night at a swanky hotel. However, they were still kept under discipline. They weren't allowed to order room service or dine in the restaurant. The squad had been living off of C-rations for the three days. They were hungry, but the hot showers and softness of the hotel beds made up for their growling stomachs. The next morning they were surprised and delighted when their Drill Instructors wheeled in a huge breakfast. The bonded 4-some were allowed to eat in peace and greatly enjoyed their last hour of pseudo-freedom.

The shit hit the fan a couple of hours later. The squad was in their shared barracks when the Drill Instructors stormed in like a hurricane. None of them had any idea what had happened to piss their tormentors off so much, but they hadn't seen them this nasty since the early days. They all stood at attention next to their racks, shaking.

McCafferty stepped forward and snarled, "We got a call from the hotel. One of the mints was taken out of the room."

Castille thought to herself, All this over a freakin' mint? She hadn't even seen any mints!

McCafferty's accent made his voice strident, "So it seems that we have a thief in this room. A dirty, nasty thief! I want my MINT! I WANT MY MINT!"

None of the recruits said a word or even breathed.

The Drill Instructors stepped forward as one and started tearing apart their gear. After about 5 minutes of hell, McCafferty's voice rung out. "I found my mint! I found my MINT, CASTILLE!"

Castille whipped her head around. He was in her stuff! He held the rucksack she had taken to the hotel in one hand and in the other he held a slender, wrapped chocolate. Her mouth dropped open, she hadn't taken the damn thing!

Both Taglieri and Schell's mouths dropped open, they *never* would have guessed Castille would do anything so stupid. And *especially* not own up to it before everyone's things were torn apart. There had to be another explanation.

Castille looked at McCafferty moving in on her and said, "I didn't do it."

McCafferty shouted, "You have my mint! You HAVE my MINT! Are you LYING to ME, CASTILLE?!"

Castille's eyes narrowed, "I'm *not* lying! I have never *lied* to you! I didn't take the damn thing!"

McCafferty got an inch from her face, "WHAT IS THIS?! THIS is MY MINT, CASTILLE! WHAT do you MEAN you aren't LYING TO ME, RECRUIT?!"

Castille snapped. She just completely lost it. She couldn't believe the young Instructor that had gotten to know all of his recruits so well would believe her a liar and a thief.

She screamed back at him, "ARE YOU QUESTIONING MY FUCKING HONOR?! ARE YOU CALLING ME A LIAR AND A THIEF?! AFTER ALL THIS TIME?! YOU *KNOW* ME!! YOU KNOW ME AND YOU ARE ACCUSING ME OF HAVING NO FUCKING *HONOR*?!!"

The room went into loud chaos. Schell and Taglieri flanked her immediately, backing up McCafferty. They shouted at her to stand down. She backed up against the edge of her rack. They were surrounding her like a pack of loud, rabid dogs and she snarled back at them, whipping her body left and right to face each of them off. She had never felt angrier or more desperate in her entire life.

Taglieri finally roared, "ENOUGH, CASTILLE!!" The other two Drill Instructors went dead silent. Castille was breathing hard and growling audibly. She managed to stop and clench her teeth when Taglieri pinned her with a savage gaze.

He stepped up to her and ground out. "We will deal with your gross insubordination later. Right now I want to know one thing. Why was the mint in your pack, Castille?"

She struggled to keep the tears in her eyes from falling. Her voice was a hoarse growl, "I. Don't. Know."

Tag's eyes burned as he growled, "That's not good enough."

Her face registered complete shock. He didn't believe her. Taglieri, her favorite, the one she tried so hard to please, didn't believe her. Her anger was tapped out. She didn't have the energy to snarl anything. She felt like he had slapped her. Her head dropped into her hands and she started crying.

All three men were stunned, they had never seen this girl react violently or cry before. It was completely uncharacteristic. They were also deeply confused. Despite what McCafferty had shouted, he really couldn't believe for a minute that she would lie outright. None of them believed that. But they were professionals and couldn't get soft now. Taglieri started to growl out something else when a soft, very reluctant voice sounded in the room.

"Uh, Sir?"

All three men rounded on the voice. The male recruit who had spoken cringed.

Taglieri barked, "What, Davis?"

"Ummm, I...I...put the...mint in Ca...Castille's pack. I...I didn't...I didn't know we couldn't take it. We had just eaten breakfast and I...found the...mint on the bed table and slipped it into...into her pack as a surprise...." He finished trailing off miserably.

Castille groaned. Davis was a very nice, 21 year-old boy and she liked him a lot. But he was as dumb as a bucket of rocks.

Taglieri snarled, "Why didn't you say anything when Drill Instructor McCafferty asked about the mint?"

Davis shook, "I don't...I mean...I...I was...He didn't...really...*ask*...I...I was...too scared to tell...to say..."

Schell cut him off, "The sand pit, Davis, NOW!"

Davis scurried out the door. Schell followed him, his mouth a grim line.

Taglieri looked at Castille. She had stopped crying, but looked completely done in. He leaned forward and growled, "I'll deal with your outburst later, Recruit Castille." Then he turned on his heel and followed Schell.

McCafferty followed him out with a snarled, "Clean this mess up!" to the three remaining recruits.

Castille just sat down quietly on the edge of her bunk. She didn't notice the cameras or hear the other recruits. He didn't believe her. *He* didn't believe her. None of them had believed her. She had nearly killed herself for these men, especially Taglieri. She had done everything she could to make them proud of her and respect her. And now, at the very end, it had come to this. If she could have walked out that very minute she would have.

Two hours later a shaken, completely exhausted Davis re-joined the others. Castille was sternly ordered out to the sand pit. The cameras gleefully captured every second of her grueling two-hour punishment. The Instructors never talked to the cameramen and didn't know if they even noticed that something was very wrong with Castille. There was no spark, no fire, no good-natured acceptance. She went through the motions like a robot. She obeyed every order given to her, but her eyes and voice were dull. She didn't speak unless she was forced to, and then only in monosyllables. It was totally unlike her.

The Drill Instructors conversed quietly, privately several times during the two-hour stint. They all noticed it and were worried. The girl couldn't be off her game now. It was the finals. They knew she had a hellish 48 hours coming after tomorrow and right now it looked like she would never make it. Castille was going to need every ounce of her strength and good humor for the final battery of tests. They would never admit it, but all three men were rooting for her to win the game.

When the two hours were finished the Drill Instructors let her go, the cameras turned away to beat her back to her barracks hoping for some last interesting thing before being turned off for the night. Castille paused when Taglieri stepped up to her. His voice was nearly a whisper when he spoke.

"2100 hours Castille. The briefing room. Bring your shower kit. Make sure you don't run into an off-duty cameraman. This isn't for the viewing audience." He melted away and she continued wearily to her barracks.

IV.

Castille slipped into her night-Ops clothing and snuck out the door. She had no idea what this was about, but Taglieri had told her not to be seen, so she didn't plan to be. She still felt pretty lackluster, but the little stealth mission perked her up a bit. She would have had fun if she didn't have this aching, empty cavity in her gut.

She slipped into the large main building and made her way to the Briefing room. The room was in the center of the building. It had a solid, locking door and no windows to the outside. The Instructors could scream their heads off at her and none of the TV people would ever hear it. She figured that this was what this little night-Op was about. She stepped into the unlit room and immediately slipped into a dark corner. She heard the door shut and lock, then the light went on. The three uniformed Instructors faced her, blinking in surprise at the black-clad female. She stood her ground holding her small shower kit and said nothing.

Taglieri broke the silence, "Why are you out of your fatigues?"

Castille murmured, "You said be stealthy, Sir. Night-Ops gear fits closer and doesn't rustle around like the fatigues. Plus if anyone did catch a glimpse of me, they would just see a person dressed in black, it wouldn't register that it was a recruit."

It hadn't occurred to Taglieri that she would take his instructions so seriously. Approval flared up in his dark eyes for a moment, but he merely nodded and murmured, "Good thinking." He gestured to a chair, "Take a seat, Castille."

She moved to the chair and sat, setting down her shower kit. The three Drill Instructors stood around her chair, arms folded, looking extremely stern. Oh lovely, an Interrogation set-up. Just what she needed.

Taglieri murmured, "What was that out in the sand pit today, Castille."

She stared at the floor, "I don't know what you are talking about, Sir."

He gritted his teeth, "Bullshit! You know exactly what I am talking about. You weren't even *there* this afternoon. What's going on with you?"

She looked up at him and stared at him blankly. "What's going on with me? What's going *on* with me? You actually have to *ask* that, Sir?"

Schell stepped forward, "Apparently we do, Recruit Castille. You completely lost it today and then you shut down. You haven't bothered telling us anything, so of course we have to ask."

She looked from man to man, a look of utter disbelief on her face. "Permission to speak freely, Sirs?"

The Drill Instructors all nodded.

She slid to the front of her chair and leaned forward, resting her hands on her knees, her voice full of a frustrated exhaustion. "Before I start, I want to apologize. You are right Drill Instructor Schell, I *did* completely lose it. I'm not proud of that and I feel bad about it, and I certainly shudder to think what the TV people are going to do with that outburst." She paused rubbing her forehead. "However..."

She straightened up, eyes moving from one to the other. "...I cannot *believe* you people don't understand why I'm shut down." She stood up and pointed at McCafferty, facing him. "I've never given you any reason to not trust me. I've always been honest and forthright to everyone here! I've always tried my best here and I have *never* shirked. And the second, The SECOND, something happens that doesn't have a simple answer, you throw out 13 weeks of knowing me and question my honor!"

She stepped over to the large young man, getting in his face. "My *honor* McCafferty! I know some of you military guys don't think civilians even know the definition of the word, but *I* do, Marine!"

Taglieri flicked up an eyebrow at the familiarity but said nothing.

She continued, warming up to her rant, "EVERYTHING I have put into this place, put into *you*..." She thrust a finger towards McCafferty, "...went up in smoke right at that moment. It was obvious to me that you didn't give a good God Damn about what kind of person I am. Obviously all of that talk about staying engaged with your troops and guiding them according to their strengths is a bunch of BULLSHIT! I showed you who I was from Day freakin' One! I've never given you any reason to think I was anything but on the level, and you call me a Thief! What's worse you called me a LIAR! And all three of you inferred that I was a FUCKING COWARD because it was obvious you thought I had taken that stupid fucking mint and been too scared to SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT! *GOD*! AND...*AND* You people obviously think I'm STUPID! Why for Fuck's sake would I take something I hadn't been TOLD I could take? We can't even MOVE without you people telling us we can! I've lived this way for 13 and a half weeks, you think I'm just going to FORGET that?!"

She paced back and forth in front of the chair gesturing, "I know all about the practice of 'breaking them down, then building them up' that the military uses to train new troops. I know you are supposed to make us fear you and not even think about disobedience. But I also know that Drill Instructors are supposed to *know* their people! You *made* us reliant on you! You *made* us want to please you! You made it the primary objective of our LIVES to get your approval! You can't cultivate the kind of feelings we develop for you people and then BETRAY that trust!"

She spun on a heel and jabbed a finger at Taglieri, "And YOU! You Goddamned well know that I would take a fucking BULLET for you, and the only thing you give me is 'That's not good enough.' Well FUCK YOU MARINE! That was the ONLY answer I had! And if Davis hadn't come forward you would made the same accusations that McCafferty had! I have nearly KILLED myself for you TAGLIERI! Hell for ALL of you! You *made* me want your trust and respect and approval more that ANYTHING else I have ever wanted in the WORLD and you just THROW that away!" She paused breathing heavily.

Taglieri cleared his throat, and took the opportunity to speak while she was grabbing a breath. "This afternoon was chaos, Castille. But you completely misunderstood. None of us thought you were a liar. As for what I did, I did what I had to do. You are a recruit and we are Drill Instructors. Nothing I said was personal."

She strode over to him and leaned in close. "Bullshit." Her eyes were the color of a storming sea. "Bullshit. You think I haven't noticed how you look at me when the cameras are off? You think I haven't looked at you the same way when I thought I wouldn't get caught? Neither of us ever let anyone else see it, but *both* of us know what the subtext of this Recruit/Drill Instructor relationship has been for weeks now. And it's not personal?" Her eyebrows lifted and she murmured, "Yeah right. And don't TELL me that you didn't think I did it, SIR, because I saw the look on your face. You were completely furious and your eyes were blocks of *ice*. All you saw was a naughty fucking recruit that got caught." She finished her rant, her voice rife with disgust. She remained standing and slammed her arms around her body staring over at the lower part of a wall.

Taglieri snarled, his brown eyes crackling with fire, "Now who is calling who a liar?" He stepped up to her forcing her a step back, "You know what I saw? I'll steal your appropriate phrasing, *if I may*..." he ground out. "I saw a 'naughty fucking recruit' who had completely lost it! You were two seconds from going for McCafferty's throat! What would have happened, Castille, if you had actually attacked one of us?! You were snarling your head off! You were insubordinate to the max and totally aggressive! What if McCafferty would have had to restrain you? You would have been sent home on the first bus out of here and none of us would have been able to do a DAMN thing about it! You are so caught up in feeling betrayed and insulted you are ignoring *why* I was furious in the first place! McCafferty may have been yelling at you about the mint but he NEVER ACCUSED you of LYING! You had better think back because I was THERE, God Damn it! He asked you if you were lying to him! He SAID you *HAD* his fucking MINT! Not that you *TOOK* his fucking MINT!! You took his words to all the recruits and then his words to you and jumbled them up until you *THOUGHT* you heard what you heard! If you had STAYED CALM and kept saying 'I did not take the mint, Sir. I did not take the mint, Sir.' You Goddamned well KNOW that Davis would have cracked! We didn't KNOW how the fucking thing GOT THERE, Castille, but the only focal point any of us HAD was YOU at that moment, and that is where we had to STAY! And as for the mutual *looks*, you know as well as I do that neither of us can do a damn thing about that until the game is over. My *job* is to keep your ass in line! You snapped today! My reaction had NOTHING to do with any other feelings I have for you. Jesus CHRIST, I can't even *hint* about something like that while you are still a recruit under my authority!"

She sat down abruptly on the edge of her chair, her eyes flicking back and forth processing. Taglieri backed off a step and stayed silent while she did it. Any moment now...any moment that screaming match was going to play out in her mind and she would see that he was right. Her blue gaze froze and filled with shocked realization. There it was.

She raised her ocean-colored eyes slowly and stared at him, then flicked her eyes over to McCafferty and Schell, then back to him. She murmured distractedly, "Of course I wouldn't have attacked anyone."

He murmured back, "Doesn't matter."

She looked up at him, all of the self-righteous anger was gone. So was the lifelessness. At least that was something, Tag thought. But both of those were replaced with a despairing expression of guilt. He saw that she wasn't out of the woods yet. She would stay in that place unless he pulled her out of it. He exchanged a glance with the other two men. They had hoped that a simple talking-to, and letting her blow off steam, would get her back on her game and they wouldn't have to move on to phase two. It wasn't happening. Things were about to get a touch more complicated and the other two men hoped to God that Taglieri had read her right.

She murmured, "So...so...what happens now?"

Taglieri's voice was even, "You get punished. The insubordination is forgiven. We don't mention it again."

Her voice was distracted, "I was already punished."

He murmured, "It didn't take."

She leaned back in her chair with a heavy sigh. She was so tired. Her body was so tired. "Is there time for more punishment PT before the big showdown contests happen?"

He murmured, "Yes, but we aren't going to do that. If we run you down, your opponent gets an unfair advantage."

Her brow furrowed, "What then?"

He spoke quietly, "The other idea you had."

She looked at him puzzled, "What? What idea?"

He gave her a look. "Think back. You suggested it a few weeks ago."

She was totally confused. She thought back. When had she ever suggested anything to these men? Recruits didn't go around making suggestions. She thought back to the time she was punished for laughing, maybe she said something in the sand pit...No. She went back further and then froze...Oh he couldn't mean...