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"Now, that's an idea." He sounded pleased, so I turned around and looked at him over my shoulder. He was completely naked now, his body tighter and more athletic than I'd imagined, with a generous amount of brown hair on his chest, lower stomach, and thighs; His pubic hair was trimmed short. He was smiling and looking at me hungrily, slowly stroking his cock. It had to be nine inches long, wider in the middle than at the base, and with a big, well-defined head. He stepped over to me and stroked it against the side of my cheek.
"Now we'll see what you'll really do to get out of trouble."
- COMMENTS
BuckyDuckmanover 9 years agoBefore I head off to eagerly read Chapter 2, a few notes about this one. GREAT! I loved the "Do you remember 1996" and how you brought back memories of what it was like to surf for porn on a dial-up modem, the anticipation of waiting for that next picture to load. . . great fun! Good handle on reluctance, too. She's both eager and shy at the same time. Great job!
Anonymousabout 10 years agoAt first I really liked it, it came across as a real memory and seemed well written.
Then when the heat turned up, it turned into a fantasy. This guy doesn't bother to ask if she is virgin or on the pill, he doesn't suggest a condom. He just comes across like a hardup single guy.
As a first effort, it's very good, but if you are going to try to write about realism then keep it real. If you are trying to sell it as fantasy, then don't bother with the "Do you remember 1996?"
I want you to understand, it's a very nice concept as a story. In time, as you develop as a writer, you will understand what you can do and what you shouldn't do. There is one intrinsic concept that you might want to consider. It's actually very helpful to new writers, it's deals with when you
