But I'm Innocent

I gave her a hug and slipped out of the bed and went to the bathroom and gave my cock a quick wash and dry. I don't know if there were any not nice particles on it but I didn't want to take any chances. I crawled back under the covers and held my new bride and we quietly discussed these new experiences and fell asleep.

The next morning Lacie didn't seem the worse for wear so we did the tourist thing for the day and had a great last night in the hotel before flying home in the morning.

When we returned we set up housekeeping in my small two bedroom apartment. There wasn't enough room for all of Lacie's belongings and her household goods so Brenda got to use them for the short term. We immediately started to look for a house. Lacie wanted to start our family immediately and wanted to bring home the first baby to our home, in her words, "a real house."

I had saved some money since my needs had been few and, since starting to date Lacie, I had been anticipating needing a house in the 'burbs for a future family.

It took a couple of months but we found the house of her dreams. It was a large four bedroom three bath two story house in a good neighborhood. The schools and a park were nearby. For a family it would be almost ideal. We were disappointed it didn't have a pool or hot tub but those two items could be installed later.

A month or so later we were setting up house in the new home. Since it had a full basement with an extra bathroom roughed in we contracted a craftsman to partially finish the basement into a large man cave, bedroom, laundry and bathroom combination. The rest of the basement would be used as storage until we needed the room.

Lacie insisted on us buying the largest bed I had ever seen for our master bedroom on the second floor. Thankfully the room was big enough for it. I didn't know why she wanted all that room since we tended to sleep very close together. Hell, a twin bed might have been big enough but she stated she wanted something big enough for when the kids were old enough to climb into bed with us during storms and whatnot.

I just shrugged my shoulders and said "Whatever." Just like a hen-pecked husband I guess. We did romp all over it when making love. No chance of anyone falling out onto the floor unless you wanted to.

My old bedroom set went into a spare bedroom as did Jacie's old set. We kept the last bedroom for a nursery but didn't go buy anything to put in there. I thought we had plenty of time to finish that room.

We then "broke in" every room in the house. We made love and occasionally just made hot monkey love all over the place. One night while she was making supper I stripped my bride and sat her on the counter and ate her until she was unable to catch her breath. That cabinet height was just a little high for my cock but I made it work with her butt on the counter, her back against the upper cabinets and her legs around my waist. Afterwards I made her leave the slimy semen and her copious fluids on the countertop so we could remember what we had done there.

We were still in our honeymoon phase of our marriage. The only regret I had was that I had early on, while we were just starting to date, agreed to let her and Brenda have their girls' night on Friday nights and I mean every Friday night without fail except when we went to visit my parents.

I know, I know, I did mention earlier that Brenda did occasionally go out with Lacie and I but Lacie always insisted on one night a week for her friend. As she explained it, after all, before me they had been true friends, almost like sisters and had seldom been apart. They had gone to school together and then even college and had been dorm mates there.

I shouldn't have been too upset, after all I got Lacie the other six nights a week but it did put a crimp on plans for weekends and holidays. I didn't think that they were going out trolling for men since I had never seen Brenda do more than dance with a guy when we had all gone out together. I trusted them both.

On occasion Lacie would call the house about midnight and tell me that they had been into the wine too heavily while watching some tear jerker and she would just stay overnight with Brenda instead of trying to drive home safely. The first few times I offered to come and get her but it was about an hour each way to fetch her and then we would have to go back the next day and retrieve her car.

What I hated was sleeping alone in that huge bed. After the first night of tossing and turning I started to sleep in my old bed in the room down the hall. At least in that bed I had spent many a night alone.

It was kind of funny the first time Lacie came home early enough to catch me in that bed. I was sleeping like a log when she suddenly started to call out my name. She had come up the stairs quietly, I suppose to jump my bones and surprise me and she couldn't find me. I was still trying to wake up, as I do sleep very soundly, when she opened the door and found me. She was upset to find me there. I guess she thought I was angry at her for not coming home.

I think it took about an hour to reassure her that I just wasn't comfortable in that huge bed all by myself and I just couldn't get into my deep sleep without her there but I could get a good night's sleep when alone in my old bed.

I don't know if she was mollified much by my explanation but she did strip down and make me lick her wet pussy until she came before climbing on my cock and riding me to a fare thee well.

Since I am writing this journal at about the one year anniversary of our marriage I guess we never got out of the honeymoon phase before it went to hell.

June 8

I finished the first part of this journal late at night. By that time I was so tired and worked up thinking about what happened next I couldn't continue. Since this journal is on my laptop and not in long hand form it doesn't show the editing, the strikeouts, and then the frustration and anger I started to have when not remembering the good times we had.

I know that I have been so angry since writing the first day's entry that I was nauseated all the time. My head has been pounding in time with my heart all day long, every day and I have been having a hard time sleeping again. I had to take my prescription sleep aid for the last six nights. Last night was the first night since starting this journal that I was able to fall asleep without help, not that I got that much sleep as it was. I was just getting fed up with waking and feeling like a zombie all day. At least today I am tired but not strung out.

I also became so upset that first night that I couldn't even read what I had typed. It was just multiple consonants and then vowels put together. Whether it was just tiredness and my attempt to put down all my thoughts at once or just frustration and anger at what happened I don't know. It probably was a combination of tiredness and anger. I just couldn't go on.

Work has been a chore since this all happened. I have to stay here in this city, which will remain unnamed. Let's just call it Central Shore for now. I have a contract with my firm that will be up for renegotiation and renewal in a few months but has severe penalties if I break it early. I have already put my resume out to the online sites and have gotten a few inquiries back. Hopefully I will be gone by this time next year.

I have no enthusiasm for my job now. It is just a place I go to be distracted from my personal hell.

Anyhow, to tackle the elephant in the room.

June 10

I couldn't do it. I stared at the screen for about an hour. I cried for two hours. I yelled at the ceiling. I went outside and found something soft to punch until my hands ached. I had to take something to relax me. God, I hate how that stuff makes me feel. I really thought I was getting better but no, not me, I am still a wreck.

I went to see my therapist yesterday. He is still advocating that I continue the journaling. He didn't read it. He says it is for me to use to help me heal. We talk about the events in the therapy sessions and I still have trouble just verbalizing what happened.

What I remember is that Lacie came home one evening from her workplace and announced that she had to go to a three day conference at a hotel and conference center in another city in a couple of weeks. She would have to fly there and back as it was too far to comfortably drive. It was seldom that she ever had to go to any conferences, she was too low on the totem pole at the time.

We made the arrangements and she told me the name of the hotel. Since she didn't have the itinerary of the conference she said she would call me whenever she had the time. The conference was slated to start on Friday morning, and go all day that day, Saturday and then Sunday morning before her flight back late Sunday afternoon. There was usually a hospitality room where networking occurred and there would be a banquet on Saturday night. I was reluctant but agreed to let her call me.

The two weeks seemed to fly by. On Thursday night, before she was slated to fly out, she told me that she had "great news" to give me when she got home. She gave me a kiss and was out the door headed to the airport.

I was lonely for three nights. Thankfully I had to go to work on Friday. Since she was going to be gone all weekend I went to a work friend's house on Friday night and played poker until about 1:00 a.m. before heading home to my lonely bed. Lacie didn't call me that night.

She did call me early in the morning on Saturday. Everything was going well on her end. She had been at the hospitality room until late meeting new people and didn't want to disturb me when she finally got to her room. We talked for a few minutes before she had to get ready for another full day of classes and seminars.

That afternoon she called as soon as she was done with her last seminar. We talked for about an hour until she had to get ready for the banquet. We figured she wouldn't call again before getting home late the next afternoon. She promised to rock my world. I hung up with a grin on my face. Maybe we would do that anal thing again. It had been quite a while.

I stroked off that night dreaming about Lacie and making love.

The next day I finished the yard work that I had started the day before. One of the downsides to owning such a large house was that it had to be on a large lot and the mowing and trimming took quite a while each week in the spring, every other weekend in the summer and leaves came from everywhere and needed to be raked multiple times in the fall.

After sweating in the yard I took a long shower and got ready for my bride to return. When she returned we had a great time making up for the lost time together. And, yes, she let me have her ass again.

That was about the best it got. From there it was downhill. Sunday night after she got home and we tired each other out she told me that I was going to be a father. It was a little earlier than I had anticipated but the sheer joy that Lacie expressed got me into the fatherhood mood immediately. We made love slowly and lovingly before giving up for the night.

On Monday night, when I got home from work at my usual time, Lacie seemed distant and almost angry but wouldn't tell me what was upsetting her.

We went to bed in our huge space and didn't touch all night.

Tuesday was a repeat of Monday.

Wednesday Lacie seemed a little more friendly but we hadn't returned to the feelings that we expressed to each other on Sunday evening. Since I had never really been around a pregnant female I figured this was just the beginning of the hormonal changes caused by the baby. I was prepared mentally to just give in to whatever she wanted until her mood swings evened out.

Thursday was even better. We were almost back to normal but no lovemaking yet that night. We had never gone this long without some kind of sex since our engagement. Even during her periods there was some kind of sexual contact. It might be oral for a bit from her and then mutual masturbation until we both came but there was some kind of lovemaking. We hadn't even cuddled in bed since Sunday night.

When we woke that last Friday morning we were once again cuddled in bed. Lacie smiled and gave me a passionate kiss. We actually showered together in our huge shower enclosure even though we didn't have time for any sex. It was nice just becoming close again.

Just before leaving for work Lacie whispered in my ear that she was going to rock my world that night. It gave me a lift and something definite to look forward to.

That evening Lacie fed me one of my favorite meals. Afterwards we played around for a few minutes before Lacie directed me to get naked and sit on one of the chairs in our huge bedroom.

She then got out the ropes and bound my hands to my thighs. This was a little unusual. I guess I need to step back and explain a few things. Since our honeymoon we have experimented with various toys and some role playing. One of her favorites is to be the dominant person and after tying me up, edging me until I am literally screaming with the need to shoot. She has learned how to lightly stimulate my cock and other erogenous zones until my cock is throbbing and bouncing with the need to cum. She will then let me relax for a few moments before starting again. This can go on for hours or so it seems.

When she finally relents and lets me cum the sperm shoots skyward. Sometimes she stops stroking as I shoot. Even though I am coming it is hard to continue without the physical touch. I guess this is called a ruined orgasm by some. Usually Lacie will grab my cock again and stroke me into an even greater orgasm. It is almost like I get to come twice in one single session.

My balls are usually drained and sore by the time she milks every last drop of semen from my cock. It is the most frustrating kind of sex for me to endure but, my God, the feeling of finally having an orgasm at the hand of a loved one is a mind blowing experience.

So, because we had done this little scenario before, I didn't try to keep her from tying me up. Usually my hands were tied behind my back so this was a little different.

Lacie made sure I couldn't get up or move much before having me spread my legs. Thinking she was going to start to stroke my cock I didn't hesitate to spread 'em. She did actually start stroking my cock. As soon as it raised up and became a little hard she fondled my balls a little and then slipped a noose around my balls up against my cock base. It was made out of fishing line, you know, monofilament line. Very lightweight and strong to help land the big ones.

"What is this for, Lacie? It seems a little dangerous to me."

The look on her face was a little daunting. She didn't answer yet. After the noose was in place she tightened it until I felt the pull. She let go the end but it didn't loosen a bit.

She then proceeded to tie my hands again to my thighs with more of the monofilament line. There was a noose around my wrist and then multiple wraps around my leg. Then she removed the rope and then stood back.

I asked her again what was going on and she still didn't answer me. She kept getting out lube and various dildos, gags, and hoods. I was starting to get a little freaked out. When I tried to pull against my leg the noose tightened around my wrist and actually seemed to cut into the skin a little. There was a drop of blood there.

"I wouldn't do that, if I were you." That was the first comment out of my loving wife's mouth since tying me up.

"Why don't you tell me what the hell is going on? I am not turned on and I certainly am not amused."

She ignored me for a few more minutes as she got a video camera out and placed it on its tripod. She checked the view and adjusted it a little. I presumed that she was centering it on me.

She turned it on and then faced me. She was still fully clothed. "I just want to know why you did it, Blake. Why did you do it?"

"I'm sorry Lacie but I really have no idea what you are talking about."

"You sack of shit, you know exactly what I am talking about. Why did you rape Brenda last Friday night?"

I have to admit I was so shocked that I couldn't reply. It was such an outlandish accusation that I had no answer. How do you prove a negative? It was like the question about how much you drink alcohol. If you say you don't drink someone can call you an alcoholic and that you are in denial of your drinking problem and you can't prove them wrong.

"Why would I ever want to do any harm to Brenda?"

"I don't know, that's why I am asking and if I don't get the answers I want then you might lose your balls."

"Again, why did you rape my friend, Brenda Givens?"

"I guess I have to ask when did I do the dastardly deed?"

"Last Friday night, you shit head."

"Well, I do have an alibi. I was at Parker Stevens' house playing poker all evening. I didn't get home until after 1:00 a.m."

"Nope, don't believe you. Brenda is devastated about what you did. She cried and cried when she talked to me on Monday. Then I saw the evidence. I saw the bite marks you left on her neck and her breasts that you put there. Her pussy was still so sore she had a hard time walking. And to cap it all she was still bleeding from your anal assault."

"How could I do all that when I was across town at a coworker's house with multiple witnesses?"

"I told you I don't believe you."

"Then call Parker, he will tell you where I was. He will also tell you who else was there and you can call each and every one of them. I think you will find that I am telling you the truth. I don't know what happened to Brenda but I had nothing to do with it. Why would I?"

"I think you found out about what she means to me before I was ready to let you know for myself."

'I still don't know what you are talking about. She was your roommate, that's all."

"No, that's not all. I was planning on telling you very soon so we could expand our family before the baby comes."

"What are you talking about?"

She sighed. "Brenda and I have been lovers since our senior year in high school. We started to play around one rainy night and suddenly we were in love with each other."

"Now I don't believe you. If you are in love with Brenda then what are we?"

"After college I decided I wanted it all. I wanted Brenda but I also wanted children. I couldn't have kids with Brenda so I needed a man. But that man had to be someone I could love. He had to be funny, articulate, good looking, and someone that would be a great dad. I also want more than one child and I don't want multiple dads. You fit the bill exactly. I know you don't believe me right now but I do love you and love our life together. I just need Brenda in my life full-time too."

My brain was on overload. It was like it was someone else in the room asking the questions while I stood back and just watched.

"Our whole marriage is a lie?"

"No, it's not a lie, not in the least. I love you and I love being here with you, well anyway, until this last week, that is. Why did you have to take out your anger on Brenda?"

"I told you again and again, I never touched Brenda. I didn't know about your lover. I had no clue. I would not be here right now if I had known that you prefer Brenda over me."

I paused for a moment. "Wait a minute, if I supposedly raped Brenda last Friday night, when did she tell you about it and why am I not sitting in a jail cell?"

"She told me Monday at work what you did. You're not in jail because she doesn't want the embarrassment of having it known that her best friend's husband raped her."

Lacie paused for a second and then mused out loud. "If only she and Angel hadn't cancelled on me and Mom last weekend."