Captured by the Elves Ch. 13

I've had many relationships with different elf women over the course of my life, but I don't believe that I could ever had something as deep and fundamental as what those two had. Many years later when Landa and I parted ways, the two women would reconcile. I was happy for them.

Later, as we neared the time that we would finally depart, I sought out Landa. I eventually found her in the small building that the elf-chieftains maintained as their headquarters. I noticed new sets of armor set up against the walls. Some still had blood on them. If anyone explored the settlement after we departed, I wondered what they would make of it. The outside world had condemned these women--those that knew of them anyway. What would they see this place as? The surrounding area would be filled with evidence of the invading army and the battles that had taken place. What would it be a monument to?

Teagan wasn't in the building. The tall blonde now spent her time with Dria and the other southern girls. She appeared to be in good spirits. The elves from the south were excited about having one of the pure bloods join them. I could already imagine Teagan rising as some beautiful and terrible queen in the south. Did those ladies know what they were in for?

I found Landa staring at a wall. The tall red-head appeared deep in thought. An old piece of animal skin was stretched upon the wall. On its surface was both the old she-elf language, which I still hadn't learned, and the corresponding pictographs that it'd seen in the ancient city.

Landa said, "I remember when this was put here. I was still a new girl. Rather like you perhaps. It was important back then. A blending of the old and the new. If I try to take it with me, I might destroy it. So, I must leave it here to uncertainty. That's cruel."

"Our people will come back here," I told her. "This will happen."

"And how do you know?"

"I can't explain."

"More uncertainty," she said. "This is what you have brought to me."

Landa refused to face me. I knew there was something wrong. I forced the issue by walking around to face her. She quickly recovered, but I could tell that her eyes were red and swollen. She'd been crying.

"Why are you here?" she asked. "Surely, there must be packing to do still for Braith. Your household has grown, but there is a lot to move. You'll have plenty of help though. You're very popular now."

"I came to see you."

"How generous. You seem to have grown in your power much recently."

"I did my best to survive."

Landa laughed. "You certainly dd. Some would say that I chose well."

"Where's Teagan?"

"I'm sure that you saw her. Making plans with Dria."

"I'm sure that she'll be fine," I offered.

Landa did her best to hide a sniffle. "Yes, of course she will. My sister is very capable and Dria has assured me that she will look after her."

"Is it dangerous in the south?"

"It's dangerous all over," said Landa. "That's our fate these days."

I tried to put my arms around Landa to comfort her. She shook me off. "Not right now," she said. I back away, but she grabbed my hand. Landa said: "I'm not angry at you. This...this whole thing has been very difficult for me. I had my greatest victory and my greatest loss on the same day. I find it all to be rather draining."

"I'm sorry," I told her. "What I did wasn't fair to you."

Landa offered me a curious smile. "Oh, darling..." she cooed. "I doubt that you're sorry, but I am glad that you care enough to worry about my feelings. How long will that last though?"

"Landa...I'm not like that."

She pulled me towards her. Gripping me with a strength that I couldn't match, and was of mysterious origin because she was rather trim despite her height. She kissed me until it hurt. Then let me go. I was still a toy to her sometimes.

"It will be harder in the north," she said. "Are you ready for that? Can you be strong?"

"I'll have to be."

"Good. I'll be harder on you as well. You're going to be an important woman now. As such you will need to be a responsible one."

"I'm a servant," I reminded her.

"In the bathhouse perhaps, but I'm thinking that you and Braith will have enough converts to fill those roles. You'll be in charge of those women and in charge of much eventually. That is the will of the goddess."

It was a lot to take it, but there was no choice for me. Fate had me securely in its jaws.

"Landa," I said. "What is to be done with Raina?"

"I should've guessed. Well, she is our responsibility, but it's not looking well, is it? We will try and work with her. A tragic case like her is rare, but we must endure. I'll have her bound and Braith will give her medicine to keep her calm. We'll take her with us. Perhaps she'll improve over time. If not: then she will serve as a sad lesson to our new converts as to why they need to embrace their new lives. Such things are not pleasant, but they are effective at teaching others. You'll learn this truth. I hope."

"There really is no hope?"

"I'm sorry, my love. If there way, then believe me: Teagan would be trying to take Raina south with her. With Teagan losing hope in Raina this makes Raina my problem. I promise that we'll do what we can for her. I always take care of our people. I hope that you'll learn that from me."

I would. This I promised her and I meant it. I meant it with my flesh and soul.

I left Landa in that building. She needed time to grieve for the change. I would learn so much from her as our relationship evolved. I would never be Landa, but I would feel like a failure if I didn't try to be. And that notion led me to choose my next action. I had no choice, but to do it.

It was just minutes later that I decided to try Braith. Hoping that she would have a more hopeful answer.

"Is there no hope for Raina?" I asked. "Nothing that you could do? I mean: you know everything, Braith."

She looked at me with such a gentle expression. She said, "That's very flattering of you to say, my love. So often, I would have something to offer you, but maladies of the mind are something that the best physicians in this world struggled to treat. Even those who utilize magic, which is mostly a mystery to me, are not able to truly heal it. Amongst our kind: often we hope that a convert forgets their old life, and it does often happen gradually if not completely. That makes it easier for them to accept their new one. It's a fine balance that we operate on. Even now I am still learning."

She wasn't making it any easier, so I had to go further. This wasn't just for Raina's sake. I knew there was something. Some last-ditch effort. I said, "After everything, to lose Raina like this...I don't know what to do."

"I'm very sorry, Kiari."

Maybe it wasn't related, but I had to know. After what Landa had told me, I figured that this was worth it.

"Braith," I said. "I've had connections with the goddess. This was how I learned about the old settlement and how I saved Katania. Do you believe me?"

Braith looked at me for a long time then said, "While I am still a realist, I suppose that I have no choice but to believe you. Katania is healed and you have...changed her. Its unprecedented. Considering how strange you normally are I'm not sure that I should be surprised."

I embraced her. Holding her tight. "Braith," I said, "I saw it. I saw you in front of the great tree with the original 'Kiari'. You didn't bury her in front of it like you said. She didn't die. Please, tell me the truth about what happened."

She looked at me with tears in her eyes. "How?"

"I can't explain. Magic maybe. The goddess. I'm still waiting for you ladies to teach me more of these things. Anyway, other people have suspected. Someone told Raina. She knew it and she mocked me for it."

"It's not your fault," she said. "This is my sin. My failing."

"Please, tell me."

She looked down to the ground for the longest time. Then back to me. Braith took a deep breath. She said, "The other Kiari...she was one of my converts. I've told you that I've converted many. Most drift away from me, but we still care about each other. Like Yanitza. With Kiari, I thought that I'd finally found a life-long companion. That's what I was hoping for. She ended up being like your Raina. She couldn't cope with the change. She saw herself as 'Peter' and nothing I did could change that. I tried so hard to work with her. Meet her halfway, but she was miserable. She threatened to kill herself. What was I supposed to do?"

"What did you do?"

"I studied the change even before I changed. I studied it for years and eventually I had some theories. We are the children of the goddess and while there is magic in that there are also some natural rules. We promote being together and are naturally drawn together. If alone, one of our kind is likely to convert another to satisfy this need. Many forget their old lives and develop their new one based on this need."

"What do you mean?"

"It's all related. We're in proximity to each other, we share our seed with each other. The purple fruit...we all eat them. This is what makes us 'us'. I told you about the she-elf that I found when I was still human."

"Yes."

Braith took another breath. "I didn't tell you everything. I traveled with her for longer than I said. Without other she-elves around her the girl began to change. She was gradually beginning to turn back into the young man that she had been. She did regain consciousness. I tried to get information out of her, but she was barely aware of where she was. It was like she was forgetting things.

"Later, much later, I would ask Margot, my predecessor at the bathhouse. She tried not to answer me at first, but like you I was insistent. She agreed with me about the theory. She said that we she-elves long to be near each other and when we're not we are compelled to make more. What I had witnessed on my journey was a rare event. Margot was surprised that I saw it."

"And Kiari?"

"She kept begging me for some solution to her problem. Could she go back?"

"And you gave it to her?"

Braith was crying. "It was the hardest moment of my life. I told her what I knew and what I suspected. If she went off alone away from the others and stayed that way then perhaps, she would go back. She may end up forgetting everything including me, and be some version of her old self again. So, she left. Walked out of here and out of my life.

"I don't what happened to her. Whether it worked or not or whether she died. I hope that she found some kind of peace. Is this what you wanted to hear?"

I held her. "I'm sorry," I said. "I know this hurt you. I know that my leaving to help Katania also hurt you. I'm sorry for that as well."

"It's not been an easy time, Kiari. I mean: we're married, are we not? And the fire..."

"Don't worry about the fire. That's over. We are still married, Braith. That didn't change."

"You still want to be with me?"

I nodded. Then I kissed her. This pleased her, but Braith knew there was more to everything.

She said, "So, now we have Katania in our house too?"

"The bathhouse can be fully staffed," I said. "The next one, I mean."

Leaving home was incompressible for everyone, but especially us.

"With luck, we can come back here one day," I offered. I was somewhat right about that.

Braith grunted something like an agreement with that hope. Then she said, "Now that you know my theory, what will you do?"

"I didn't say that I would--"

"--don't even, Kiari. You know how to manipulate and get your way. Tell me."

I was shocked by her accusations, but the more I thought about it the more that I knew it to be true. My wife knew me well.

"The war is over," I said. "We must move to be safe. We all know that. I'm up to do whatever we must, but let me make things right with Raina. Let me try to help her."

"I don't think you can."

"I must try."

It took me some time to find Raina. While she had been drawn to the fight with the humans and even decided to help Ericka save me, she still wasn't comfortable with the others. She clung to the periphery of the elf settlement for safety, and perhaps because some part of her still wanted to be near them. It was in fact the other elves' wariness of Raina that helped me find her. The elf scouts and guards kept tabs on her location out of fear that she might attack someone in her deranged state. They warned me to stay away from her, but I could tell that they were also wary of me. So eventually they gave in and told me where to find her.

I found Raina sorting a collection of loot and salvage that she'd taken from the human camp. These included even more filthy clothing taken off dead men. She still wore the rancid breeches that I could smell from several feet away. She heard me approach and reared up from her collection of treasures.

I held up my hands to show her that I was unarmed. Though armed or not I stood little chance against her. "Don't worry," I said. "I'm not here to hurt you."

Her eyes moved wildly side to side. Expecting that this was a trick, and I was some bait laid out in order to trap her. For a moment, I was actually worried about that myself. I knew what Landa's intentions were and she was clever enough to do it. Yet, Raina and I were truly alone in that moment.

"Go away," she said.

"Don't you want to come and join the others? You can get a bath and some food."

"I don't trust them. Or you."

"Let me help you. Please. You helped to save my life. I saw you there in the human camp. You kept them back while Ericka removed me from the pyre."

"You didn't burn," she said.

"It's hard to explain." I sure as Hell felt it, I wanted to add, but didn't.

She let me close the distance. "You shouldn't be out here alone," I said. "It might not be safe. We're going to be leaving soon."

"Not where I want to go."

"And where is that?"

"Home."

"Home is with the rest of us."

"No," she said. "It's not my home."

I finally got within range to put my arms around her. I expected a fight, but the oddest thing happened: she stood there sobbing. Raina was a broken thing then. She didn't resist as I gently encircled her. We just stood there for a time. I held Raina then. It was strange thing because she was still larger than I, and seemed so powerful. Yet in that moment I could've throttled her and she would've not fought back. My friend was broken and no matter what happened between us she was still my friend,

I felt it: the bond. I'd been in denial of it for so long, but it was there in all its fulness or as much as I had ever felt.

I asked her, "What can I do for you, Raina?"

"Brendan," she said meekly. "I'm Brendan."

I kissed her gently. Putting my forehead to hers.

"I know," I said.

Raina was crying. "She lied to me," she said. "The goddess. She said that if I brought you to that place then I could go home."

I didn't think that she would understand what happened in the old city.

I took Raina's hand and led her away from her make-shift camp and farther away from the others. There was one place for us to go. I knew the way so well by then I could've done it blindfolded. The others were getting ready to leave and I knew that I wouldn't be able to stay away for long. Braith was still somewhat distant. Fortunately, there were many things for her to be focusing on. I would be blamed for years for us moving, but eventually she would see that it was the best option at that time.

I tried not to worry about these things as I escorted Raina to the great tree.

"I don't like being near this thing," said Raina. "It doesn't feel right."

"Don't worry about that. You're in no danger here. I won't let anything happen to you."

When we stood directly in front of the tree, I embraced Raina firmly. I kissed her. "Raina," I said. "I want to help you."

"I'm Brendan. Stop calling me 'Raina'. She's a lie."

"I know how you feel. Becoming 'Kiari' has been a difficult thing, but I've been learning. I don't think we ever stop learning. Don't you?"

"I don't know."

I smiled. I controlled my breathing. I felt the power within myself, and then the goddess was standing there with me again. I'd never be alone again. I turned back to Raina with the power that I knew I had.

"Who am I?" I asked her. "Who am I?"

"The elf girl 'Kiari' from the settlement. I know you."

"Yes, you do. Who was I before?"

"I don't understand."

"Yes, you do. You made me this way. Don't you remember?"

She shook her head. "I did no such thing. I'm not like those elf women. I'm human. I'm just afflicted. I'm confused."

I said, "Yes. That's true. I am 'Kiari', but once I was 'William'. You know this."

"No."

"Yes. Landa and Teagan converted you. They made you 'Raina'. You were Brendan and became Raina."

She resisted, but I kept my eyes on hers. I knew that I had a power that she didn't fully comprehend. Even I didn't understand it at the time. This was something that I had to learn to embrace. A strength that I had to work to my advantage.

"You converted me," I told her. "You wanted me to be with you because of the bond, remember?"

Raina cried for some time. Then it finally came out. She said, "Why couldn't you just be with me?"

"I'm sorry. There was so much happening, and at the time it really appeared to me that I had been betrayed. I'm sorry, Raina. Blame my weakness, not yours."

I was silent for a time. Letting that sink in. I was to learn much about dealing with people in this way over the years. I never intended to be any sort of leader, but it was doomed to happen.

Finally, after much internal pain and debate, I was able to reach her.

Raina said, "You...were really William?"

"Yes."

She grabbed me and squeezed me so tightly then. "I thought that I had lost you," she said.

"You didn't. I'm here with you."

Raina kept crying. She said, "I wanted to believe that you were dead, because I saw the look on your face when you thought that I had betrayed you. That hurt so much, and I didn't want to believe that I could've done such a thing."

"I know. It was hard for me to accept what was going to happen. Please, let me help you now."

"How?"

"I'm hoping that if you let me make love to you then I could at least stabilize you. I was able heal Katania. Let me try to help you."

"How is that going to help you?"

"I don't really know," I said. "I'm learning new things that I can do all the time."

"How can you do these things?"

I really had no good answer for her or anyone. Later on, there would be people with theories. These would be quieter times when people could dwell on such things and try to apply rationality to them. As I got older, I found that it easier to indulge such leaps of imagination and thought. It was mostly younger people who did that, and why not indulge them? Of course, at that time I was one of the so called "younger people", so I had no idea how such things could be applied to me.

I said, "Please, give me this trust, Brendan. I'm your friend always. I am your convert. I love you. Please."

Raina nodded at me through the tears. She was mine in that moment. More than anyone would ever be. I leaned forward to kiss her again. She was so warm. So receptive. Kissing people can sometimes be so bland, but when you find the right person it's such a special thing. It's difficult to even quantify the importance to you. These people truly are a part of ourselves, are they not?

It was fun to strip Raina because she was taller than me, and so much more strongly built. Amidst those long limbs and all that muscle was still another of the elf girls. I pulled off her tunic and was delighted to see her breasts that were pert and built just large enough for her frame. When I kissed at them, I could taste her sweat. She hadn't bathed for some time. I felt like I was doing society a favor by tearing off her soiled and stolen breeches. I was frankly surprised that they didn't break apart as I did so. I tossed them away with nary a thought. No matter what happened, Raina was going to be free of them. Despite the breeches, Raina had kept the silken panties that the elves gave her. I slipped these off her and had her totally nude in front of me.