Casey's Bat

The examiner taped the last of the electrodes to Donny's skin. "Okay, a couple questions for a baseline. Please answer these honestly." She paused and asked, "What is your name?"

"Donald Plesac."

"In what city were you born?"

"Dearborn, Michigan."

"Those readings are normal. Now I'll ask you two questions and I need you to lie. First, what is your date of birth?"

"February 31, 1573."

"And what is your occupation?"

"I am Prime Minister of the United Federation of Galaxies."

"Good. Now, for the matter at hand. Are you on any sex offender registries?"

"No."

The examiner said, "The graph says that you're telling the truth. Is your home lease or your mortgage in good standing?"

"Yes."

The examiner said, "The graph says that's the truth as well. Have you ever been arrested?"

"No."

The examiner said, "According to this, you are not telling the truth."

Donny corrected himself. "Oh, wait, I forgot. A few years ago, I got arrested during a protest. The cop hadn't even put the handcuffs on me when the media showed up, so he said, 'It's your lucky day,' and let me go. Since he never formally did anything, I forgot about it."

The examiner said, "Your corrected answer is the truth. Next question: Have you ever had sexual relations with a man?"

Donny didn't hesitate. He said, "No," matter-of-factly.

Casey stepped out from behind the one-way glass. "That's all I needed to hear." She kissed Donny and said, "My answer is yes."

*** ONE YEAR EARLIER ***

Donny went to his e-mail feed. The first one looked like spam, so he reported it. The subject line of the second read, "Friday vs Cardinals." He opened it. "Mercator Financial Advisors has two tickets to Friday night's game against the Cardinals. If you would like one of them, reply to this e-mail. Two individuals will be chosen at random this afternoon." He typed, "Yes, please!" and hit Reply.

That afternoon, the e-mail notification screen appeared in the corner of his computer screen. He could see it was the result of the drawing, and he saw the name Casey, but it faded too fast for him to see the rest. He opened his e-mail again. The subject line only said, "Drawing held." When he opened it, it read, "Congratulations to Casey O'Brien and Donny Plesac, who will see the Cardinals take on the Reds tomorrow night." Everyone who entered was pictured at the bottom of the e-mail, but since he and Casey were the first two recipients, their profile pictures were first. Donny didn't recognize her, but there were seven floors in their building, so that didn't mean anything. The picture was cropped so close that he couldn't tell how long her light red hair extended.

Donny felt bolder than usual. He found her name in the index of the company's messaging system. "I'll probably go directly from work," he typed. "Wanna carpool?"

When she replied, the message window used the same picture, but larger and cropped lower. When he saw that her hair was at least shoulder length, his heart jumped. "I need to get someone to let my dog out. How soon do you need to know?" Even her font was cute, one of those that resembles handwriting.

"No rush," he said. "As long as I know what to expect when I leave, I'm good."

Casey sent a group text to some of her friends on her cell phone. She turned to the messaging system at work, looked in her list of frequent contacts and found Andrea. Andrea had entered the same drawing, so she knew they'd won the tickets. "Don't know if ur allowed to do this, but Donny P wants to carpool to the game. Is he safe?"

A few minutes later, Andrea replied. "It's a company-sponsored event function, so it's not considered 'snooping.' As far as we know, he's a poster boy for how to work in a diverse workplace."

"k thx," Casey replied.

A few seconds later, she got a reply on her phone. It was Tom, her next-door neighbor. "I'll take Bowser out. I was going to take Jerry to the dog park anyway. Now they can have a play date."

"Awesome," she answered.

She re-opened the window with Donny. "It's a go. What floor are you on?"

"6. I usually take the elevator across the street from the parking garage."

"4, same. Meet me on the way down. I'll be wearing my Johnny Bench jersey."

"I'll have my Reds jacket on. What elevator do you usually take?"

On Friday at 4:33, the elevator door opened. It was crowded enough that Casey couldn't make out Donny's face, but she saw a large foam finger in the left corner, so she got in. As the door closed, she called, "Donny?"

He waved the finger. "Right here!"

The secretary next to Donny moved toward the center, and Casey navigated her way next to Donny. "That's an older logo," she said. "Is it vintage or throwback?"

Donny hesitated a moment before he answered. He was too fixated on her hair. She'd let it grow to elbow length since she took the picture, and it was a brighter shade of red than the computer screen had suggested. It made up for her modest chest size. He realized he'd been staring, and he said, "Throwback. Christmas gift last year."

For Casey's part, she thought Donny had more of a baby face than the profile picture had suggested, apart from the five o'clock shadow. He wasn't as tall as she imagined, which is why she couldn't see his face at first. He was probably five foot ten, only an inch taller than her, but he wasn't wiry or lanky. She tried to keep the conversation going in a direction that would be comfortable on a work elevator. "Been to many games this year?"

"Two," he said. "Usually I go to more, but they didn't have as many good give-aways."

"I think I've been to one each month," Casey said. "My dad used to be a season-ticket holder."

Knowing how much season tickets cost, Donny worried that Casey was high-maintenance, but he wasn't going to bring that up right now. By now, they were on the ground floor. "My space is on the second floor," he said.

"You get a reserved space? Nice!" Casey replied. "I started parking on the roof because it was easier just to go all the way up than to see which floors still had spots available. It's nice on days like today, but it sucks when it's raining."

Donny was relieved. If she came from money, they'd obviously taught her a good work ethic. The cross walk signal had just started counting down when they got to the curb. He started to tell her to run, but she was halfway across the street before he could say anything. He caught up to her just as they got to the curb on the other side. "Looks like a long wait for the elevator," he said. "It'll be faster to take the stairs."

"Nice to have that option," Casey said.

She got up the stairs faster than Donny did. "Turn left when you get off the stairs. I drive the blue Corolla."

As they were exiting the garage, Donny flashed his badge to the reader, and the gate rose. "I didn't think about parking," he said. "If you've got cash for parking, I'll pay for the food."

"Got it," Casey said.

The Reds were having a bad season, so there were plenty of replica rings from the 1975 World Series left when Donny and Casey got there, despite a construction delay covering half their drive. Donny asked, "Do you want to find our seats first, or get food first?"

"Get the food, and meet me at the seats."

"Okay, what should I get you?"

"Their chicken fingers combo is good," she said. "And a beer."

Thirty minutes later, Donny found Casey at their seats. "Take your beer first; I'm afraid I'll spill it."

Casey took her beer and then pushed Donny's seat down. "So you don't have to let go of your food to sit down."

When he sat down, he handed her combo to her and put his soda in the cup holder. "I see you bought a score card," he noted. It had been unseasonably cool for the weekend after Labor Day, and they both wore jackets. It had warmed up that afternoon, so Donny took his off; Casey left hers on.

"Every time I come," Casey said. Donny opened his mouth and then stopped. "What?"

"Sorry, I was gonna make a crude joke, but I thought better of it. Besides, it wasn't very funny."

"That's okay," Casey said. "I set myself up for that one."

"Since you score the games, I'm guessing you don't need me to explain the infield fly rule."

"This isn't verbatim, of course, but when there are runners on first and second, regardless of third, if the umpire believes that a ball in the air could easily be caught by an infielder, he'll invoke the rule. The batter is out automatically, and the runners advance at their own risk," Casey cited. "Give me something challenging."

"At what point in 1994 did Ray Lankford lead all of baseball in home runs?"

"First inning, opening day against the Reds, when no other games had started yet, 'cause baseball still had the tradition of the Reds having the first game of the year."

They spent the next half-hour exchanging trivia about rules and games. In the third inning, the Cardinals had runners at second and third with one out. A ground ball landed in front of the pitcher, who picked it up, ran to first base line to tag the batter and then threw home to complete a double play. "I did something like that once," Casey commented.

"Little League?"

"Church softball. I got the runner on the third base line and then threw to first. Did you play?"

"I was a bench player in middle school. I couldn't field for shi-to save my life, but they could count on me to get a good bunt down."

"You don't have to watch your language," Casey said. "We're not at work."

They talked more about their athletic endeavors until the middle of the fifth inning. Each of them was eating a hot dog when the Kiss Cam came on. Donny finished his just as it stopped. "Don't worry, I wasn't going to try to force myself on you," he told Casey.

She finished her hot dog while he was speaking, then told him, "I was just about to tell you the same thing," she said, and they both laughed.

"I'm gonna get a Coke. Do you want anything?" Donny offered.

"I haven't had a soft pretzel since they stopped selling 'em at the cafeteria," Casey answered.

The Cardinals tied the game in the ninth inning on a wild pitch. "Pinch-hitting for an All-Star catcher just came back to bite us in the ass," Donny noted.

"Don't blame the catcher. Williams has no business closing games any more," Casey replied.

In the bottom of the ninth, the Reds loaded the bases, and the manager sent in Ruggieri, a September call-up, to pinch-hit. "I like this guy," Donny said. "He knows the strike zone. He's good at taking one for the team."

Casey added, "You may be right, but what worries me is that there's one out, and the right fielder has a better-than-average arm. If Ruggieri hits it there, he's likely to end the inning." The count on Ruggieri went full, and most of the fans were on their feet. Donny took the occasion to put his jacket back on. Ruggieri was hit by the pitch, driving in the winning run. The applause was deafening. Casey turned to Donny and said, "You called it! He took one for the team!" She pulled him to her, kissed him on the lips and went back to jumping up and down. After the public address announcer read the score and the winning and losing pitchers, Casey looked to see Donny sitting down, motionless but smiling, and she smiled back.

When they made eye contact, Donny asked, "Are you ready to go?"

Casey tried to think of an excuse not to leave yet. "Well, I want to visit a souvenir stand to see if there's anything interesting, but then we can go." The first one they came to had mini-figures of some current players, but they agreed that none of the players were worth the money. No matter, she'd held his attention for a little longer.

Donny drove back and walked Casey to her car. He awkwardly shook her hand before she unlocked the door.

The next afternoon, Casey texted Andrea. "Help!"

"What's wrong?"

"I kissed him."

"Did he kiss you back?"

"Well, he didn't resist, but I was too excited about the game to notice."

"Ok, so this was when the game ended."

"Right."

"What's the problem?"

"When I asked U before, U said it's not snooping b/c it's a work function. That means I kissed a co-worker at work!"

"What happened after that?"

After Casey related the remainder of the evening, Andrea said, "Relax. If he didn't like it, he wouldn't have gone up to the top floor to see you to your car."

As Casey read the reply, Donny was shopping online. He needed his credit card, but it was in his jacket. When he put his hand in the pocket, he found a slip of paper. It had Casey's name and a phone number. He knew it was her cell because it had the same area code and prefix as his sister's. He pulled his credit card out and completed his purchase of two tickets for Wednesday night's game. He waited until that evening to text her. "Just realized I've got an extra ticket for Wednesday's game. Wanna go?"

Casey's heart jumped. She didn't even entertain the thought of making him wait, but she still tried to be coy. "Who's pitching?"

"Let me check. ... Reds TBA, Nelson for the Brewers."

"Sure, why not. I got nothin else goin on."

Donny had to wait this time while Casey changed into her Joey Votto jersey. It was a real button-down jersey, not the T-shirt replica. The Reds were down by double-digits after two innings. "Do you wanna stay for the whole game?" Casey asked.

"Not really," Donny answered, and he got up. Casey followed him to the walkways. He suggested, "There's a nice coffee shop not too far from the office. Let's go there."

"I'd rather go to Taft Park," Casey countered.

"Why? What's there?"

Casey looked him in the eye and said, "Nothing. Just a nice place to walk."

Donny smiled. "That sounds good."

They found a parking spot next to a foot path. They'd gone about half a mile when Casey said, "I lied about not having anything but a nice place to walk. They have nice benches," and pointed to one.

They both sat down. Donny started the conversation. "I bought a scorecard on eBay from the first game at Riverfront. Do you have any memorabilia?"

"My dad bought the bat from Sean Casey's 200th home run at a church auction for me."

"Wow! Where do you keep it?"

"At home, in my apartment."

"But you have a dog! Aren't you afraid he'll damage it?"

"No, I've got a secure display case. I figure what's the pointing in having stuff like that if you can't look at it?"

They talked about other collectibles, and then Casey asked, "When you were in school and had to write papers, did you do any on baseball topics?"

"I didn't write any research papers, but my college published a literary magazine every year, and they accepted my story about a husband and wife who managed competing minor-league teams."

"So you're a published author?" Casey repeated.

"I got $50 for my effort," Donny said. "It wasn't even enough to pay for my English textbook."

"That's more than I've done," she responded. "My greatest accomplishment in writing is getting a letter to the editor published."

"Penthouse?" Donny asked hopefully.

"People," Casey told him.

After a brief, awkward pause, Donny confessed, "I lied to you. I bought tonight's tickets just to have an excuse to go out with you again."

Casey laughed. "Why do you think I accepted? I'm even glad the Reds are losing." They had turned to face each other.

Donny gave her a fake horrified look "Why's that?"

"I wanted a chance to kiss you and not have it be about baseball."

"Oh, I thought maybe you wanted them to put you in the game. Come in closer," Donny said.

Casey answered, "No, I know the rules. Only men are allowed." She lifted herself up and sat on his lap. "This close enough?"

Donny put his arms around her. "Yeah," he said. He leaned in and kissed her. He ran his fingers through her hair.

"You like redheads, don't you?" Casey asked.

"Hell, yeah. I'm glad we're under a light, 'cause it's night and I can still make out the color." When Donny moved his hand down, he noticed that the tail of her jersey had come out of her jeans. Hoping it was intentional, he moved his hand inside the shirt and rubbed her lower back. She kissed him harder, and he moved up a little.

"What took you so long?" Casey asked.

"I wanted to be sure," Donny answered.

"You'll be disappointed," she said.

"Because you're teasing me?"

"Because I don't have much for you to find," she sighed.

"I wasn't even thinking that far ahead," Donny said. "Besides, I could tell before, and it doesn't matter."

Casey pulled up on the hem of Donny's T-shirt and rubbed his back as he'd done to her. He found the back of her bra and put his thumb under the band. For the first time this evening, Casey sounded hesitant. "I, um, ..."

"Too much?" He didn't remove his thumb, but he didn't move it either.

"I don't wanna get arrested," she said.

Donny moved his thumb from side to side. Casey pulled him closer. Donny asked, "Friday night?"

"Definitely."

"Where would you like to go?"

"You decide," Casey said, "but pick me up at home. I'll text you the address."

"So, a real date, then?"

Casey's face lit up at that word. "Yes, and if you make it a good one, so will I."

Her face lit up again on Friday when Donny showed up. He had gotten his car washed, and he'd even cleaned it out. He wore a polo shirt and black jeans. She wore a light blue blouse and slacks that were a slightly darker shade of blue. The blouse had padding, even though he'd seen in her in a T-shirt that gave him a realistic idea of her measurements.

Donny took her to a steakhouse. He didn't mind the fifteen-minute wait, because it prolonged the evening with this friendly woman. He thought she seemed nervous while they waited, but once they were at their table, she relaxed again. "They have good chicken, too," he explained. "I figured if you eat chicken at the ball park, you're not a vegetarian, but maybe you don't like the usual offerings at some places."

"I love steak," Casey assured him.

Just after the bread arrived, she excused herself. "I'll be right back. I don't date much, so I'm used to having a girlfriend join me when I go to the ladies' room." She looked nervous again, but when she returned, she was fine. Donny realized he was too taken with her long red hair to notice what kind of butt she had.

By then the food had arrived. They talked about their interests, their friends and other things. At one point, Donny brought up the note. "When did you slip it in my pocket?"

"When you got up to buy my pretzel," Casey answered.

When asked about dessert, Donny looked at Casey. She shook her head. "No, thank you," Donny told the waiter. "Check, please."

Casey explained, "I'm not going to order something just to make you spend more, and I'd just end up taking half of it home with me. There's only one thing I want to take home tonight."

"Eddie Money?" Donny asked.

Casey didn't react to the joke. She just said, "I mean you."

"I like that," Donny said.

"I should hope so! I haven't invited a man into my place in close to a year. Well, besides the cable guy."

"I meant the fact that you didn't laugh at my joke," Donny explained. "It wasn't that good, and you didn't try to build me up."

"I don't fake things. It's counterproductive," Casey replied.

"I've heard that about other things in a relationship," Donny said. He didn't literally wink, but he gave her a look that gave away the allusion.

"What makes you think we're in a relationship?"

"For one thing, the fact that you want to take me home."

"Ya got me," Casey said, and she grasped his hands across the table.

"You don't have to do that," Donny said. "I don't want to put my hands any place that would keep them from letting us come back again."

"Good," Casey said. The waiter showed up with the check. Donny added a generous tip and they left.