Cash Taxi

"You told me to tell you one thing!"

"Yeah, one thing like...I don't know, my eyebrows? Or maybe my nose? Not my boobies!"

Wade opened his mouth to speak, but nothing but random sounds came out.

"Tsk tsk, little brother," Jenny said, smiling in spite of the awkwardness she felt. She pitied Wade in that moment, knowing that he regretted saying what he had said. "It's okay, Wade," she assured him.

"Is it actually, though?" Wade asked, his face bright red.

"Sure," Jenny assured him. "Want me to make it less awkward for you?"

"Dear god, yes," Wade begged.

"I've always thought you have nice arms."

"Wait...really?"

"Yeah, really. Granted, I haven't seem much of them lately. But remember a few years ago when we all got together at that lake?"

"Yeah?"

"I remember being shocked when you took your shirt off. Your arms really...impressed me? I don't know, I just thought they looked nice and...firm and whatnot."

"Oh," Wade said, his face slowly turning back to its normal shade. "Well thank you. For the compliment, and for lowering yourself to my level."

"It felt super weird saying that about my brother, not gonna lie," Jenny joked.

"Yeah," Wade agreed. "Wanna pretend like none of this ever happened?"

"Hell yeah."

They finished up their meal slowly, enjoying some conversation and having a couple more drinks and dessert before finally asking for the check. Wade made sure to leave a generous tip for their poor waitress as a means of apology for the awkwardness of the evening. Much to Wade's surprise, Jenny was the one who scooped up their mother as they headed out of the restaurant and onto the busy sidewalk.

"I didn't realize how late it was," Wade said, looking up into the night sky. "What time's your flight tomorrow?"

"Noon," Jenny replied. "Are you sure you're gonna be able to come back in a couple of weeks and handle the sale of the house without me?"

"It's no problem," Wade replied. "The sucky part's gonna be transferring whatever money we get from that directly into the hands of the driver of the 18-wheeler that Mom crashed into, though. In a perfect world you could be here for moral support, but I get why you can't."

"Yeah," Jenny sighed. "Fuckin' truck driver. Can't believe he won that lawsuit. Emotional distress my ass. Just spray the bits of flesh off your damn radiator and get on with your life, you know?"

"Right-o, sis," Wade agreed. "Right-o."

She looked down at the vase. "Guess we'll need to get up early and find a nice place to put her, huh?"

Wade shrugged. "I might just take her home with me," he said. "Maybe keep her for a while instead of finding somewhere in a rush, you know? I mean Mom and Dad only lived in this city for less than a decade. Why should she care about her ashes being spread here?"

Jenny nodded. "Sure, sounds good," she said, feeling strangely relieved at his offer. She knew that it was her that should be offering to take the ashes, since she still lived very near where they grew up and all shared a home together. However, she was not in a place emotionally that she could do that, and was very thankful that Wade seemed to sense that.

"Shall we get a cab and get back to the hotel then?" Wade asked, looking up the street at the oncoming traffic in search of a taxi.

"I guess so," Jenny agreed. As Wade stood beside her looking through traffic for a sign of a cab, Jenny watched him and felt a small pang of sadness at the fact that it would be their last night together. She hadn't seen much of her brother since he moved to the opposite side of the country, and she really didn't know when she would see him again. As it was, it was the first time in over a year that they had seen each other, and it obviously wasn't under the greatest of circumstances. For what it was though, she had really enjoyed their time together. Maybe it was the dread of returning back home to her stressful life, but she suddenly felt herself wishing she had a couple more days alone with Wade.

"Such is life," she said out loud sadly. Wade looked down at her.

"Huh?" he grunted in confusion.

"Nothing," she said.

"Ah, here we go!" Wade exclaimed as a taxi pulled up to the curb right beside them. They opened the back door and crawled into the backseat.

"Where to?" the driver mumbled quietly. The taxi was oddly dark, and the man seemed to be purposely obscuring his face from their sight as he spoke.

"33rd and Maple," Wade replied, sitting down first. "The Cozy Inn." Jenny sat down beside him, then reached over and shut the door.

As soon as the door closed, they were suddenly engulfed in a cascade of flashing purple and green lights all around them. A weird siren noise erupted loudly from within the cab, and the driver turned back to look at them full on, a crazed expression on his face.

"What the fuck!?" Jenny screamed, sliding her body as close to Wade as she could, grabbing his arm for safety and comfort. She looked up at Wade's face and saw that he was equally terrified.

"Welcome to the Cash Taxi!" the man exclaimed loudly. "The game where you get a chance to earn cash on your way to your destination! I'm Marty, your host and driver for this evening."

"Cash...Taxi?" Wade asked cautiously, relaxing only slightly.

"That's right!" the man replied excitedly.

"I thought it was called Cash Cab?" Wade asked suspiciously.

"Different show," Marty replied. "Similar, but different. We're a little lesser known than that show. Rules are basically the same though. Just think of us as the ugly little sister to Cash Cab."

"I'm not so sure I wanna do this," Jenny said nervously.

"Oh don't be scared!" Marty assured her. "Seriously, we're legit! See?" He reached out of sight briefly, pulling a huge wad of cash into view.

"A giant handful of cash isn't making us feel much better, Marty," Wade said nervously.

"Look us up online real quick, you'll see!" Marty suggested. Wade pulled out his phone and did just that, Jenny leaning over close to him to see for herself. Her breast slightly grazed up against Wade as she did so. She pulled back quickly as they shared the quickest of glances. Luckily, there were more pressing matters at hand.

"You're only like the seventh link down in the search results," Jenny complained.

"Like I said, lesser known, but just as legitimate," Marty repeated. "Anyway, you guys are perfect to be on our show! Just the type of people we need to try and gain an audience, you know?"

"How exactly is it that we're 'perfect'?" Wade asked.

"Because you're both hot!" Marty explained unabashed, still talking like a game show host. "See, the bosses specifically want me to pick up the 'pretty people', as they put it. They think that'll grow our audience better than, well, you know...the alternative."

"I assume this part of the conversation will get edited out of the show?" Wade asked.

"Oh god yes," Marty confirmed.

"Can you kill the lights and the siren?" Jenny asked, feeling very overstimulated by the situation.

"Just a second," Marty mumbled. He cleared his throat and regained his crazed look from before, clearly pandering to the hidden cameras. "You guys ready to earn some cash!?"

Wade looked over at Jenny. "What do you think?" he asked.

"What the hell do we have to do?" she asked skeptically. "I still don't quite understand what's going on."

"Haven't you ever seen Cash Cab on TV?" Wade asked

"Yeah, but this is Cash Taxi," she said.

"Like I said though, same exact concept," Marty interjected. "Try and answer some questions on the way to your destination, maybe win some cash. Get three questions wrong, I kick you out and you go home empty handed, nothing lost. So what do you say, guys? Wanna play?"

Wade looked at Jenny and shrugged. "Could be fun," he said simply.

"Could be lucrative," Jenny added, feeling slightly enticed at the idea of winning a few bucks.

"There's the spirit!" Marty exclaimed. He turned the lights and siren off, put the car in drive, and pulled away from the curb.

"Alright, so here's how this works," Marty began in his very official game-show host sounding voice. "You'll answer as many questions as you can between here and your destination. For the first round, each question is worth fifty bucks a pop."

"Woohoo!" Jenny exclaimed.

"Second round, the questions get a little harder and are worth $100 a piece."

"Fuck yeah!" Jenny yelled excitedly.

"We're on TV, Jenny!" Wade scolded.

"Oops," Jenny replied, not sounding the least bit sorry.

"Any question asked after the second round will be worth $200. During the rounds you may also use up to two shout-outs for help, one in the form of a phone call and one in the form of a street shout-out. Remember though, if you get three questions wrong before you reach your destination, the game is over and you walk away with nothing. Ready to play?"

"Let's do this thang!" Wade exclaimed, raising his fist into the air.

Jenny looked at her brother judgingly. "Did you really just say that?" she asked while laughing at him. "'Let's do this thang!'" she repeated in a mocking tone. "Seriously, Wade? Stop trying to be Mr. Cool Guy for the cameras."

"Fuck you!" Wade snapped back.

"Okay, so let's play!" Marty interjected. "Here's your first question. What is the name of the song by the iconic British band 'The Who' where Roger Daltrey starts off by singing 'out here in the fields, I farm for my meals'?"

"Oh that's easy," Jenny began calmly. "It's-"

"Oooh, I know this one!" Wade interrupted excitedly, raising his hand like a school boy. "It's Teenage Wasteland!"

"No!" Jenny shouted, but it was too late.

"Oh, so sorry!" Marty replied. "This song is often mistakenly called that, but in fact the actual title is Baba O'Riley."

"Dipshit!" Jenny said angrily, smacking Wade lightly on the back of the head.

"Sorry," Wade replied, lowering his head in shame.

"From now on we talk about each question first before either of us gives an answer. Got it?"

"Yeah, okay," Wade agreed.

"That's alright," Marty continued. "Still lots of time before we get to your destination, and lots of time for you to win more money. Next question: What is the longest side of a right triangle called?"

"A math question?" Wade complained. "Who the hell's gonna know how to answer a math question on a trivia game show!?"

"Wait a second!" Jenny said excitedly. "I...I think I remember this. It's like a...hypothesis?"

"That doesn't sound right," Wade said. "But I think you're on to something. Definitely starts with an 'h'. Maybe a...hypoglycemia?"

"Hypo...hippopotenuse?" Jenny said, trying to sound out the word.

"Three seconds!" Marty said.

"Oh, a hypotenuse!" Wade shouted.

"You sure?" Jenny said quickly, sounding worried.

"No idea!" Wade replied.

"Hypotenuse is the correct answer!" Marty said excitedly. "That's fifty bucks!"

"These questions are a bit tough, don't you think Marty?" Wade complained. Nonetheless, they were able to get the last three questions in the first round correct without nearly as much strain.

"Alright, so your total is now up to $200," Marty explained as they started the second round. "Questions are now worth $100 each. You've got one strike. And...here we go. Known as 'The Land of Enchantment', which U.S. state has the fifth largest land area of all the states in the country?"

Wade and Jenny looked at each other hopefully, but could tell in each other's expressions that neither had a clue.

"Should we just make an educated guess?" Wade suggested.

"I don't wanna get another strike!" Jenny complained. "Let's try one of those shout-out dealies."

"Okay," Marty said. "What type of shout-out would you like to use?"

"Street," she replied. Marty pulled the cab over to the curb and rolled down the back window.

"Who can we ask?" Wade inquired.

"Anyone you see out there," Marty said. "You only get one, though, so choose wisely."

"Who should we go with?" Jenny asked as she scanned the pedestrians on the sidewalk.

"What about that guy in the glasses?" Wade suggested. "He must be smart."

"Just because he's wearing glasses?" Jenny said skeptically.

"Sure!" Wade leaned across his sister and poked his head out the window. "Hey, excuse me, sir?" he called out, looking at the glasses-clad individual. The man stopped and turned to look at them. "Hey, we're on a game show right now, and could really use your help answering a question," Wade explained.

"Huh?" the man replied, a very confused look on his face.

"We're on like a trivia-type show," Wade continued. "You know, like the show Cash Cab?" The man just looked back at them, comprehension nowhere to be found on his face. "Anyway," Wade said, "We were just hoping you'd help us answer a question."

"A question?" the man repeated. "I don't understand."

"This is not going well," Jenny whispered in Wade's ear. "Abort!"

"I've got a good feeling about him," Wade insisted. He repeated the question for the man, then waited hopefully while the guy continued to stand beside the cab, looking utterly perplexed. "Any ideas at all?" Wade asked hopefully after several seconds of complete silence.

"Uh, I don't know...Atlanta?" the man said with a shrug of his shoulders.

"The fuck!?" Jenny exclaimed, slamming her head back against the seat in frustration.

Wade stared bewildered at the guy for a few extra moments. "Okay, thanks buddy!" he said finally, giving the man a thumbs up as Marty drove away from the curb.

"What an amazing evaluator of talent you are, Wade!" Jenny said sarcastically.

"He had glasses!" Wade contended.

"Alright, need an answer guys," Marty said.

"Fuck, I don't know...Idaho?" Jenny guessed.

"Oh no!" Marty said. Jenny felt herself deflate. "The correct answer was New Mexico."

"Son of a shit whore," Jenny said, kicking the seat in front of her in frustration.

"You guys are going to have a lot of editing to do on this one before it's ready for tv, Marty," Wade said.

"Just a moment," Marty muttered softly as he pulled the car to a halt once more.

"What's goin' on?" Jenny asked. Marty put up a finger indicating for them to wait as he put a finger on his other hand to his earpiece and began talking to someone.

"Sure, if that's what you want me to do," Marty said to someone that was clearly talking to him in his earpiece.

"Everything okay Marty?" Jenny asked, finding his behavior to be slightly odd.

"Perfect!" Marty assured her as he pulled away from the curb again. "Still got one more strike left, guys," he continued in his cheerful voice. "Let's keep going. Alright, for $100 once more, what two colors mix together to make green?"

Jenny and Wade looked at each other happily. "Seriously, that's the question?" Wade said excitedly. "That's so easy!" He looked at Jenny seriously for a moment. "It is blue and yellow, right?" he asked nervously.

"Yes genius," she replied. "Blue and yellow is our final answer, Marty."

"You've got it!" Marty shouted. "Great job, guys." The next few questions were of equal difficulty, if not easier, and Wade and Jenny were able to answer them with no issues whatsoever.

"I thought you said the questions were going to get harder as the rounds progressed?" Wade asked suspiciously.

"Just the host, not the question maker," Marty said dismissively.

"Stop questioning it, Wade!" Jenny scolded. She was quite thrilled at the pleasant turn of events, and very hopeful that she'd be able to walk away from this trip with at least a little something to show for it.

"Alright, so you guys are up to $500 now. We are just about 10 blocks away from your destination. We are also now entering round three, where the questions get even harder and are worth $200 each. Here's your next question: Inhabiting the fictional world of 'McDonaldland', what clown character is the primary mascot of the McDonald's fast food chain?"

"That's not a harder question!" Wade insisted.

"Shut-up, Wade!" Jenny said, putting her hand on his mouth. "Is it Ronald McDonald, Marty?" she asked sweetly.

"Indeed it is!" Marty replied. The next question was even easier, causing Wade to shake his head in confusion. Jenny didn't care. She was completely blinded by the money.

"Alright, we've got time for one more question," Marty continued. "You currently have $900. Get this one right, and you'll be able to walk away with $1100! Get it wrong, you leave with nothing." Jenny shook nervously, then took a deep breath to try and compose herself. "Here's you question: Which fictional city is home to Batman?"

Jenny looked hopefully at her brother. "Well?" she said expectantly after he didn't say anything.

"Well, what?" Wade replied.

"What's the answer, Wade!?"

"I don't know!" he said in a slight panic.

"What do you mean you don't know!?"

"I mean I don't know! That's what I mean!"

"You're supposed to know though!"

"Why me?"

"Because you're the boy!"

"Well that's just downright sexist. You know I never got into comics as a kid."

"Fuck the comics! There have been like, I don't...ten trillion Batman movies in our lifetime?"

"Then how come you don't know?" Wade countered. "You're the one with kids. Don't they watch Batman?"

"Not really," Jenny said anxiously, feeling as if she wanted to throw up.

"Wait, do you guys really not know this?" Marty asked as he pulled up to their hotel. His voice had lost its game-show tenor, and he strangely sounded a little worried himself.

"Wait, call Brett!" Wade suggested. "Don't we still get a mobile shout-out?" he asked of Marty.

"That's correct, you do!" Marty replied, sounding slightly relieved.

"Yeah, okay," Jenny said as she took her phone out. "He'll probably know." She clicked on his name and waited for the call to go through.

"Hey, it's me," she said quickly as soon as she heard Brett answer.

"Tell him we're on a game show!" Wade said loudly.

"Shut-up!" she yelled. "Brett, can you hear me? Goddamn reception." She pulled her phone away from her ear and looked at it. "Call dropped," she said in defeat. "My reception is not good out here for some reason."

"Well we get another call, right?" Wade asked hopefully.

"Sorry, against the rules," Marty explained.

"Well that's not fair!"

Marty leaned over the seat slightly and talked to them in what must have been his normal voice. "Look," he began quietly, "why don't you guys just guess something?"

"Guess?" Jenny repeated. "How are we ever going to pull that out of our asses with a simple guess?"

"You never know," Marty replied, giving them a subtle wink as he eased back into the driver's seat. "Alright, need an answer guys."

Jenny and Wade looked at each other once more. "Fuck, I don't know," Wade sighed, shrugging his shoulders in frustration. "Fuckin'...Batman City?"

"That was your best guess?" Jenny said sullenly, sounding crushed and defeated. She lowered her face into her hands, hoping she wasn't about to start crying on a game show.

"Batman City is correct!" Marty shouted as the colorful lights and noises rang out once more just like they did when they first got into the cab.

"Holy shit!" Jenny screamed as she wrapped her arms around Wade's neck and kissed his cheek.

"Wait, seriously?" Wade asked. Something definitely seemed off to him.

"You got it!" Marty said as he pulled a large wad of cash into sight. "You guys have just won $1100!"

"You did it, man!" Jenny squealed, hugging him once more and eyeing the cash in Marty's hand.

"That can't have possibly been right, though," Wade said. "The chances of me guessing that right..." he continued, trailing off. Marty seemed not to be listening to Wade, as he was once more preoccupied with someone talking to him in his ear. They could hear Marty's muffled voice, but wouldn't have been able to make out anything he was saying even if they tried.