Challenges Met

Charles was greeted by a harsh "Where have you been?" by Sugar, standing with arms folded across her chest in the entranceway.

"Apparently you haven't listened to the news or read the newspaper yet today, have you dearest?" Charles replied, the word "dearest" delivered with a shitload of sarcasm.

Sugar looked perplexed.

"See the two news trucks outside Sugar-dear; they too are interested in what I was doing last night," Charles snarled. "Maybe you'd like to tell them about how you were fucking Norman Bates while I talk about the incident in the Rooster Bar."

The color left Sugar's face. "I...I...don't know what you're talking about," she defensively responded.

"Sugar, did you forget what my profession is? I don't usually use my body language reading expertise in evaluating personal relationships but the conversation we had yesterday at noon before you 'left for work' told me exactly what you'd be doing last night."

"I still don't know what the fuck you're talking about," Sugar protested, as she stomped her foot on the floor while her face got redder.

"Well, let's see," Charles sarcastically responded, as he exaggerated purposefully stroking his chin. "You had every single body language indication of lying when I talked to you about why you wouldn't be home until midnight last night and what you would be doing. Remember how you were vague; offering few details, when I asked you about where you would be and who you would be with?" he rhetorically asked.

Sugar's eyes got wide.

"Remember how you repeated my questions before answering them? Remember how you spoke in sentence fragments? Remember that you failed to provide specific details when I challenged your story about Norman Bates not being there, and how you played with your hair while talking to me?" Charles continued. "All classic signs of lying, Sugar dear, and yours were the most blatant I've ever seen. It was no surprise, however, since you have been gradually lying to me more and more over the last six months."

With each rhetorical question Sugar's eyes got wider. Her mouth opened but nothing came out.

"Don't even bother trying to respond, 'darling.' What I was doing while you were fucking Norman Bates was stopping a suicide bomber from blowing up the Rooster Bar – a joint that I went to in order to get drunk in an attempt to drown the sorrow of having a cheating bitch of a wife," Charles snapped.

The doorbell rang.

Charles turned away from the still gap-jawed Sugar and opened the door up. Before the reporters from CNN and ABC could even speak he held up his hand and said "I'm not giving any statement to the press just yet. I'm still shell-shocked by what happened last night; my mind is fuzzy. Surely you can get most of what you need from the police reports."

"But Mr. Kane," protested CNN reporter Dexter Morgan, "your perspective is what the public wants to hear. They're dying for information."

"I'll give a statement along with Mrs. Desmond sometime tomorrow. If you give me your cards I promise to call," Charles replied.

Morgan handed over his card, as did ABC reporter Albert DeSalvo. "Thanks, now please leave, I need to console my frantic wife," Charles said, laughing as he closed the door.

Sugar was nowhere to be found on the first floor. Charles sprinted up to the master bedroom to find Sugar sitting on the bed with tears starting to form in her eyes. Charles Kane got right to the point. "We're through, Sugar. When I get back from filming the Today Show next week I want you gone."

"But..." Sugar started to protest.

"But nothing!" Charles yelled. "We're done, period. And tell your little fuck buddy Norman Bates that his time is coming. I'd never physically hurt a woman, but he's in for a world of physical pain, much more than I inflicted on the Rooster Bar suicide bomber."

Sugar's sobs provided the background noise as Charles lumbered to the back yard to call Norma.

"Hi Norma; and no I'm not going to boost your ego any more by telling you what a sex goddess you are," Charles chuckled.

"Fuck 'em and leave them wanting more, huh Killer," Norma chuckled right back.

"Something like that; anyway, there are two purposes for my call. The first is that I told Sugar that she and I are through – and we are. The second is that the Today Show wants us on Tuesday or Wednesday morning. Interested in going? We could spend a couple of nights together playing hide-the-salami in a NYC hotel if you've broken it off with Joe by then."

"No shit," Norma laughed. "I'll call Joe tonight; and yes I'd like to go on the Today Show. Wednesday morning would be best for me."

"OK; unless I call you back to tell you differently, plan on spending Tuesday and Wednesday nights in a hotel so that we can find all of the erogenous zones on each other's bodies." Charles chortled.

"That may take more than two nights, dude," Norma giggled.

"Oh, one more thing. I promised that we'd give a joint statement to CNN and ABC tomorrow."

Charles immediately called Lizzie Borden back. "OK Lizzie, here's the deal – take it or leave it. Norma Desmond, who played just as big a part in saving the Rooster Bar and its patrons as I did, and I will be there for a pre-participation interview Tuesday afternoon, and for participating in the show Wednesday morning. We're a package deal. In addition to our expenses – we need only one hotel room by the way – you'll make a $25,000 donation to the international charity of our choice."

"We don't normally do that..." Lizzie started to protest.

"What you normally do isn't important to me, Lizzie. You want this story really bad – before I talk in detail with CNN and ABC, who have already been knocking at my door. You do that, or I talk to them instead. Call me back within the hour to let me know if we have a deal," Charles concluded.

"Wait...not necessary," Lizzie replied. "OK, you got a deal."

"Send me an email confirming the deal. My email address is..." Charles started to say.

"We've already got it," Lizzie chuckled. "It will be there within the hour, along with details about the flight and hotel stay for you and Mrs. Desmond."

The joint statement by Norma and Charles to CNN, ABC, CBS, and Aljazeera the next day was short and sweet, and they answered only one question each.

*****************

Norma called Joe up Saturday afternoon. "Sorry to interrupt your trial preparation, Joe, but something came up here. Maybe you saw it on the news."

"You know I'm too busy to bother with the news," Joe sniped.

"Yeah, I figured as much. Not to bore you, but Charles Kane and I saved my brother's bar, and the lives of about sixty people in it, from a suicide bomber."

"What the fuck? Are you delusional? What are you talking about, Norma?"

"Go to Yahoo and search 'Rooster Bar' and 'suicide bomber' and you'll see. Also, by the way I'm leaving you for Charles Kane."

"What the fuck? Are you trying to destroy my concentration for the trial?"

"Despite what you think, not all life revolves around your trial, bozo. You haven't had any time for or interest in me for a long time. Charles does. Since we don't want to cheat he's advised Sugar, and I'm advising you, that we're done with the two of you. Tomorrow I intend to fuck his brains out."

"No...you can't do that..." Joe started to say.

"I just did. I'll be out of the house by the time that you get back in town ten days from now. I hope that your trial goes well," and with that Norma ended the call. Her cellphone was not again answered when "Joe" appeared on caller ID.

***************

The Wednesday interview on the Today Show went very well for Norma and Charles, almost as well as the hotel fuck fest Tuesday night had. Both Charles and Norma identified the other as the real hero, and were as humble as possible without being fake. Charles did go through some of his professional observations as a body language expert, but refused to identify the most important body language feature that tipped him off to the hoodie bine a suicide bomber lest another suicide bomber in the future practice to avoid that tell.

After the interview Charles and Norma had a fun day in NYC, including a quick dinner and a Broadway Show. As they lay in the hotel king size bed in post-coital bliss that night, while Charles lightly pinched and massaged Norma's nipples and Norma manipulated Charles' testicles Norma said "Where are we going to move in together when we get back?"

Charles smiled. "You don't think that's rushing it?"

"Hell no," Norma chuckled. "I found out what kind of man you are by your actions the last week. Although your take-down of the suicide bomber was very impressive even more impressive were your interceding on my behalf with Detective Harry Callahan, your insistence that I be included as an equal partner in all discussions and interviews regarding the situation, and the fact that since the night of the incident I've had the seven best fucks, and two best love-making, sessions of my life. I want to get used to being treated like that."

Charles smiled.

"Why, are you not interested in co-habitation?" Norma asked with a sly grin.

"Actually, my pent-up lust for you alone could keep me in blissful co-habitation with you for the next twenty five years, let alone my love for you that is growing exponentially every day. We've known each other, and I've lusted after you, for five years, so I know who you are, and your actions the night of the incident only enhanced the reverence I have toward you. In fact, I intend to propose marriage the second that our two divorces become final," Charles smiled.

In a serious tone Norma replied "Tell you what. Why don't you propose now premised on that one second after our divorces are final, and see what the response is?"

"OK," Charles sighed. Taking a deep breath he asked "Norma; will you make me the happiest man in the world by marrying me one second after our divorces are final?"

"Hmmm," Norma responded stroking her chin. "Let me give you a non-verbal response, Killer Kane. You're an expert on body language; see if you can figure out my answer out from this..."

With that Norma shinnied down the bed, took Charles' cock into her mouth and one testicle into each hand, and started sucking and fondling.

******************

Charles and Norma Kane lived happily, and lustfully, ever after.