Chapter 02: Screwing up

"A dance is the lead showing his girl off to the world. If the lead screws up, the girl will show it. If the girls got it right with me the issue does not lie with them. Guys this is life. Your girl, your partner will show the world when you screw up by looking bad. You're not perfect, nobody is, the best you can do when you screw up is to say so and work at not making the same mistake again. That is when you become someone to respect! All of you try again. Liz, you're with me."

The guys and girls were lined up to watch and I demonstrated what was critical in the steps the girls were struggling with. Diedre came in to find Elizabeth stretched out in a dip being held up by me with one hand while my other tapped my legs showing where and how each should be. Elizabeth had an expression of complete trust and bliss on her face with her eyes closed her arms stretched above her head as I explained why, even the studio owner and Amelia were paying attention. I lifted Elizabeth easily and twirled her away from me then brought her back in a set of pirouettes to stop against me with me behind her holding her around the waist.

"Don't try that at home, that was a very advanced move with its origins in self-defense, get it wrong and you will hurt your partner. Mind you if she gets it wrong her knee is going to end up in your crotch." I said as the boys and girls gasped at how easy that had looked.

"That move was in Dirty Dancing!" A boy said.

"I don't know what that is." I said.

"It's an old movie about dancing dad. It was big when I was born. You were away a lot then." Cathy said.

"Mr. Bodenstain? Cath's mom said you're like super mean. Like you know martial arts that will kill you just to say." Another boy said.

"I can be a nightmare yes. But I learned to fight on a dancefloor, dancing with guys and girls. Let me show you what a simple starting grip can do. Liz let's take a waltz start."

I had her stand in the waltz pose and quietly told her how to move her top hand. Then I told her to turn her wrist. And she broke my grip behind her back, sending me tumbling away from her. Elizabeth stared in shock as I fell away with minimal effort from her. Everybody watching made a massive WHOA. I stood up and explained that the history of dance was from hunters recounting good hunts and teaching other hunters to warriors recounting battles and teaching young warriors how to move, how and enemy moved, and what worked. I suggested a music video of Zulu warriors dancing to show what I meant.

"The ability to make your girlfriend look fantastic and every guy watching jealous or to take any guy apart and have everybody watching afraid lies in dance. The difference between getting laid or sending your partner to hospital is slight. So if you get it wrong apologize and get it right."

The studio owner broke the lesson up as the last parents were coming in. Diedre was far from worried about Elizabeth's virtue under my hands. She was intrigued about the history I had discussed and perfectly happy as her daughter sat beside me putting sneakers on. I spotted the blush every time she looked at me and figured I was now the subject of a teenage crush.

Diedre had done some homework on me it seemed, not unexpectedly. She had found my thesis on three parent family units and what that would mean in an economy and society. She told me that she had started reading it and was interested in how I had come by the idea. I gave her the titles of a few science fiction books by Robert Heinlein and she was clearly impressed and asked why I read science fiction. I answered that science fiction was very often history applied to scientific or technological development. She nodded as I spoke about the cyclic nature of history and how we could use that to extrapolate what new factors would do. We could also predict when certain types of events would repeat in response to known factors.

We went to supper at a good restaurant with Diedre learning about research funding possibilities to find historic parallels for current situations and then to discuss how various factors built, sustained, or destroyed societies. The three girls watched Diedre and I in discussion and speculated about a future romance. They made it a daily deal to go to my house after dance clearly of the opinion that Diedre and I would be moving in together.

On Saturday I first showed the three girls and Diedre every part of the boats they would be using. Basic optimist class boats were designed for teaching, and as such very safe within set parameters. I explained the need for crash helmets as I let the boom swing from side to side, there was no need to say more. The life jackets were self-evident too. Then I showed them how to turn the main sail. I was not going to use jibs yet. I had them sit in their boats, explained that you could not go into the wind at more than forty five degrees and pushed them off to learn for themselves.

I watched as they caught the wind and heard the exclamations as the boats picked up speed with no effort or noise. Elizabeth turned out to have a flair for sailing as she quickly grasped what her boat would and would not do. Nicole was next to figure it out and whooped as her boat obeyed her. She learned to watch the water for where the wind was and was doing circuits in no time.

Cathy struggled. I got into a paddle ski and paddled out to help her. I explained what she needed to do and let her sail away shouting happily. I paddled to Diedre who was just letting her boat go where the wind pushed it. Diedre had emotion in her eyes for the first time I had seen her. She was deeply satisfied with what she was doing.

"I don't think anybody let me set no expectation before. This is fantastic. Nobody wanting something, no competition to do better. No criticism. It's brilliant Nicholas."

"Call me Nick."

"Nick then. Care to join me?"

"Not very doable Diedre. I'll capsize the boat getting over the side. Just enjoy the silence, the time without pressure."

I let her go and paddled back to the jetty. While they all enjoyed themselves I used the time to consider Esther. Cathy had written her mother off as fast as her mother had left. Nicole still wanted some form of motherly relationship. Esther herself was rapidly going into self-isolation by pushing everybody away. Depression had probably set in, suicidal tendencies would not be far away. I wondered what reversals had happened while I was overseas that I did not know about, her condition so fast indicated other causes. It was more for Nicole and the complete lack of other maternal alternatives than for any other reason that I decided to see about keeping my ex-wife alive if possible.

Diedre had brought a lot of salads and side dishes, I had brought an open fire barbecue with a few steaks and sausages so I made a fire and got a drink. I was thinking of maternal options for Nicole as the fire burned. I had been at a few social events like this in South Africa, a braai, there was something about an open fire that encouraged thinking and now was no exception.

Florence knew she was a revenge screw to me primarily. Although what it did to Esther didn't bother her too much; she had already made it quite clear that our relationship did not extend to children taking care of each other's children. I thought it likely that Florence would find another man soon. She was a lot more confident now than when I had met her, and more likely to let a man she wanted know that she was interested.

A sneaky realization came over me as I considered Amelia and Diedre. I was considering a second wife, Nicole's needs were only a justification. I had a massive issue in this regard though. While I was at play, achieving a mission and using a character I invented I was brilliant; the real me sucked at romance. I thought about my psychology degree, it had been about relationship dynamics, and how I had written it. I had been as bad as Diedre, my tone had been entirely dispassionate and analytical; here and now it meant that I was at a complete loss as to how to find a healthy long term relationship.

Elizabeth tied her boat up at the jetty as I was seriously thinking about taking my father in law up on his suggestion of courting and marrying Ruth. I heard her coming, the fire was ready for the sausages, I started putting them on.

She came to me quickly and as I looked up to ask her how she was enjoying the day she jumped up and kissed me. The timing was perfect; her tongue darted into my mouth and was out again so fast it took a moment for me to realize it had happened. She backed off a pace with an exclamation and held her hand over her mouth while blushing furiously.

"Thank you. Was your tongue an accident?"

"Oh shit don't tell mom, she'll kill me!"

"I won't. But don't do it again, kiss on the cheek rather unless the boy is your age and you want to take it further."

"Okay... I just wanted to say thank you! Sailing's as close to magic as I can imagine. Can I do this for my sixteenth birthday?"

"I don't see why not, we'll clear it with your mother. When is your birthday?"

"July twenty second."

"Mine is July twenty third." I said in surprise.

We were talking about birthdays when Nicole arrived and impulsively gave Elizabeth a hug. The smell of steaks and sausages cooking brought the other two quickly, they chatted about sailing as they got drinks and waited for the meat. Diedre was keen on celebrating Elizabeth's birthday by having a sailing day, unspoken between us was that she wanted Elizabeth to know the man she was being arranged to marry. She had other things on her mind though.

"You're wrong about not being an author. Harvard University Press is publishing all three your dissertations next year."

"Shit." I replied.

"Why dad; it's awesome!" Cathy said.

"Because it means that any relationship I have with a woman is going to be looked at very carefully. Three parent families? Polygamy is illegal in the USA, somebody is going to look at my family very closely."

"Domestic disciple and corporal punishment within a marriage relationship is also open to being considered deviant despite the historic foundation for it." Diedre said.

"Dad spanks instantly if we screw up." Nicole said.

"Yes but he never spanked your mom right?" Diedre said.

"He should have." Cathy responded.

"I'm right here. Don't speak about me as if I am in Algiers."

"Why didn't you spank mom dad?" Nicole asked.

"I didn't want to. When I wrote that Es was always angry at me, I could do nothing right. So I was looking for a way to end that constant fighting at home. I wanted her to tell me what I was doing wrong, spank me, then we could put it behind us and carry on without a bad mood and some issue cropping up every hour we were awake. She started accusing me of having affairs after she read that."

"You have a point though." Diedre said.

"I think so. It's not easy you know girls, hurting someone you love on purpose. Every time I have spanked either of you I spent hours or days wondering if I did the right thing. It forces you to think, the caveat to that is if you're a loving and reasonable person. Additionally getting spanked lets you know quickly that you were out of line, it opens a channel for remorse, and it is an event from which a new action policy can start. I have always tried to give an alternative course of action before spanking." I said.

"Mr. Bodenstein; would you spank your next wife?" Elizabeth asked.

"By agreement, yes I probably would Liz."

Diedre filed that away. It was something to negotiate about in future. I considered this, I still had no intention of marrying Elizabeth or Diedre. I was conflicted though; I wanted to see what buying a bride would cost and how prepared Diedre was to sell her daughter. I thought it likely that Elizabeth would refuse and decided to put willingness to marry me as a foundational clause in the agreement if we got that far.

"Do you guys know that I hate Liz? It sounds as if I'm being called lizard but you're just too nice to finish the word."

Everybody was surprised at that. I was most surprised that she had had the courage to say it. I was more than a little impressed by Elizabeth at that revelation. I took a closer look at her, she was not the shy suspicious girl who had come to the dance studio and hesitantly joining Cathy on the dance floor. She was more confident, instead of rounded shoulders she was standing with a straighter back. She was growing in strength of personality too. I considered what a few changes in style would do for her.

If the spectacles that had been inherited from a librarian in the nineteen seventies were changed to something more modern her face would look so much better. A hairstyle that was not designed for cheap maintenance and easy management on Nicole would help too. A wider choice on wardrobe, or at least some advice would add to her appeal. She was actually turning into a beautiful woman.

I looked at Diedre as the girls were apologetic and they got to calling Elizabeth something else. Diedre herself was a few years older than I, late thirties, I was going for thirty two in July. She was in fact quite tall, she also had jet black hair and blue eyes, nice breasts. But bad style choices made her look less than she was. I wondered what effect a make-over would have on mother and daughter and their relationship.

"How about going to Delaware next weekend?" I asked.

"Grandad?" Cathy asked excitedly.

"Yes, but there is also a day spa there. I am thinking of given all of you a pamper day while I encourage some of the people working there to come here when the hotel opens... just to be clear, all of you. Diedre, you and Beth too."

"Are you courting me?" Diedre asked; her look plainly telling me that she wouldn't accept if I said yes; tension built as they waited for my answer.

"No, I'm courting Beth." I answered.

There were four gasps of shock and surprise then laughter as the tension broke. Elizabeth blushed furiously again but looked at me and grew a little to realize that she could interest a guy. Diedre laughed in appreciation at the deflection with complete truth and her look clearly said she understood a skillful preparation for revealing what we were negotiating. I left her to overthink as I got busy turning the meat over.

From then my divorce stopped being my top priority, rather what to do after my divorce became the focus of my efforts. I seriously thought about Esther and what to do about her when the divorce was over, mostly. Esther was finished at the DOD, the court appearances and counseling sessions would go a long way to destroying her social confidence. if she didn't commit suicide before the court case she would soon after unless she had something to cling to.

I thought it likely that Elizabeth would lose her teenage crush on me. any negotiations Diedre and I achieved would be meaningless when she turned eighteen. Diedre was not interested in marrying me either so somebody else would be needed.

One woman came to mind, I had been involved with her for just more than a year now in a variety of ways. She knew me as a terminally nice but socially awkward guy, although she had dealt with me in a variety of other personas. She was Jewish though, her father a rabbi. she was one possibility.

Another possibility was unknown although intriguing. I had received a key in the mail at the safehouse I kept. A simple and very feminine letter had come in the same envelope, although with very little information to track the woman down who said that that particular key would unlock her affection and love. the desperation that gesture took was something to explore. I decided to see if I could track her down now that I had the time.