Cock in a Box Pt. 01

How they convinced me I'll never know. Well, that's not true. The allure of free alcohol after dropping nearly $17k on my upcoming wedding certainly helped fuel my willingness to participate in this embarrassing contest.

Without going too far into a back story that I'm sure you guys don't care about, this past weekend was my bachelor party. I was taken to Atlanta by a group of my good buddies and the 7 of us in total were living it up for a long, 3-day weekend in and out of bars, hotels, and strip clubs. It was our first night there when Kevin heard about a bar with an unusual game: Cock in a Box.

The gist: there's basically a line of glory holes that you stick your junk through for the audience to vote on which they like best. All participants get 2 free drinks (well, of course; no top shelf stuff) BUT the chosen winner gets free drinks all night, whatever they want.

The downside is that if you're chosen to be the winner, you have to accept the award so everyone would know it was YOUR dick. Apparently pictures are allowed at this bar.

With enough liquid courage in us we all reluctantly agreed to give it a go, some of us probably more excited or terrified than the others. I thought to myself, I'll get two free drinks and some people will have a picture of my dick but no way to link it back to me. I mean, my cock was fine, Sarah didn't seem to have any complaints, but I knew I was average at best. I assume the crowd will go for the biggest one and I wager one of my buds is packing something bigger. I'd hate to be them. Or would I? I guess I wouldn't mind a couple extra inches.

Anyway, we got to the bar and it became clear pretty quickly that this wasn't a bar catering to female clientele.

"It's a fucking gay bar, guys!" Brad exclaimed when we got there.

"Well," Rodger said, "I guess that makes sense. I've never really seen a lot of women vying to see a bunch of dicks."

"That's not the impression I got from your wife," Dan joked.

"Oh ha ha ha."

I spoke the first words of hesitation, "do we still want to go through with this?" It was one thing to be showing my dick to a bunch of female strangers, it was another thing for them to be gay men.

Kevin doubled down, "It's still free booze. Who knows, someone might even buy me some drinks in an effort to get lucky!"

The group razzed him on that and how not even a troll would find him hot, but I did have to admit he had a point. Our group was, generally, good looking. We'd all taken care of ourselves in the years following college sports and while some of us packed on a few pounds since the glory days we were all still big. I knew gay guys liked that at least.

"It's Ben's big weekend, let him make the choice," said Mike.

Sean, my little brother, was the last of our group to speak, "I'm not a big fan of this idea either, but if Ben's in... brother solidarity."

I leaned into the crap Sarah was always spouting out about 'live in the moment' or 'enjoy the ride of life' and said, "fuck it. Let's get some free drinks."

At the front part of the club, Kevin expressed our interest to participate in the game. It quickly surfaced that we were a bachelor party of straight guys and that seemed to tantalize the person taking covers. He let us in for free!

Once we were inside one of the staff ushered us over near the back of the club and explained what we were to do. Apparently we had arrived just on time as the game starts around midnight on Fridays only.

There were 10 boxes near the back part of a stage where I assumed drag shows or beauty contests or something went on. You could get into them from behind the stage so no one could see which one you got into. They were basically just telephone booths made out of plywood. Not super appealing but I guess did the job.

The staff member said once we were in there the MC would start the show and more or less we'd be told what to do from there. They would narrow down contestants by number, which was painted on the outside of the boxes as well as the inside so we knew what number we were.

The guy checked us all out, salivating, and recommended we play with ourselves a bit when we get into the booth to 'fluff up a bit.' That idea sort of grossed me out and I knew I wasn't going to be winning anyway so I already decided this crowd would be getting a soft, limp anonymous dick in exchange for free booze.

It's probably worth noting that all my buddies and myself included are white(ish). I'm not racist, I swear, but at the small Tennessee college I went to there weren't many people of color. I say this only to demonstrate that I felt like I had a good level of anonymity since it would be my dick against 9 other dicks that probably looked like mine.

The staff guy said to choose a booth when Sean asked where the other 3 guys were. There were 10 booths and we only made 7. "Oh," he said, "when management heard you seven were together and straight, he decided to make it just you guys."

We looked at each other and silently decided if we were still okay with this but I guess what does 3 other dudes matter. I guess now we knew one of us would be getting free drinks. That is, if they accepted their win.

We all walked up and into our respective booths. Kevin was beside me to the left and Dan was to my right. The other guys filed in. When I got in and drew the curtain behind me for privacy, I realized that I was NOT in box "3" like I thought I would be but "5."

I heard Kevin yell, "I guess they randomize the box order too."

Then Sean called out, "That's good, I was worried you'd be sad when they talked about how small #2's dick was and we'd all know it was you!"

Laughter among the guys, including myself, rang out.

In the box, there wasn't much and not a lot of room. There was the infamous hole on the front side about three and a half feet up. I wondered what shorter dudes would do but then I also saw the wooden blocks stacked up on the side. I guess that's for them to stand on if they don't reach the hole.

The hole.

I looked at it timidly. My nerves were starting to climb as I realized what I had signed up for. What we had all signed up for. The plywood had been sanded smooth around the lip of the hole so my fear of splinters was gone but not my fear of the unknown number of gay dudes on the other side eagerly awaiting to look at our dicks. MY dick!

I was starting to second guess this whole thing and chicken out. The guys may not let me live that down. Well, I'm not going first at least.

The music faded out after the end of the song and someone cleared their throat into a mic.

"Gooooood evening, queers, steers, and bears. Oh my! Welcome to this week's Cock in a Box competition. I'm your host, Anita Gudphuck, and we have a super special treat for you men tonight."

My palms were getting sweaty.

"For you see, tonight we only have 7 contestants..."

Boos erupted from the crowd along with vocal pleads that they wanted to see more dick. I swear, gay people.

"But the seven we have are... straight guys on a bachelor party weekend!!"

The original distaste for the limited offering turned into an uproar of cheers and whistles. What's the deal with gay guys liking straight guys so much anyway?

"But, we're all in for a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity if we all agree to play by some secret, sexy rules. Will you all play along?"

More cheers from the audience. What did he mean by 'secret' rules?

"Okay, now, no one shout out the secret rules as we don't want our mystery men to know. Up on screen there, you'll see what to do."

There was a few moments of silence and then some laughs, some 'oh my goods,' and a ton of applause and cheering.

"Do you think you can all follow those rules?"

"YESSSS!" the crowd yelled.

"Okay, well then let's play Cock in a Box! Straight boys back there, are you ready?"

I didn't want to shout out but I guess none of my buddies did either. Maybe that would reveal us when we had to go out and get our drinks.

"I'll take silence as a 'yes, ma'am!' Now, get your cocks in hand and ready to be judged! I recommend a few pumps and shakes to liven the guy up."

I can't believe I'm doing this. How did I let Kevin convince me to do this? How did he convince all of us to do this? I undid my jeans and shucked them down my thighs. Looking at the bulge in my boxer briefs I took a deep breath. There's no way I can do this right? No way any of us could do this, right?

"Okay boys, Let's! See! Those! Cocks!"

I stood there for a moment, unwilling to be the first in case this was some sort of prank. The seconds felt like eternity.

"Are all you straight boys shy? Or are you just embarrassed by your tiny dicks?"

The audience laughed and started to call out things along the lines of 'show us what you're working with."

I was sure we had all gotten cold feet when the crowd started applauding.

"There's our first contestant! Ooo and what a nice dick!" Whistles in the audience agreed with her statement.

"Oh and another! And another! That's three straight boy dongs right there."

They're actually doing it. Fucking hell. Well, tipping my metaphorical hat to Sarah's dumb slogans, 'when in Rome...' I reached into my briefs, pulled my dick out and stepped forward, guiding it through the hole.

Even more cheers through the audience, louder than the others it seemed like.

"Four, Five! That's some nice looking - oo Six!"

"Come'on last guy, don't be shy. Your friends all took the plunge."

I wonder who was getting cold feet. I noticed now that there was a mild warmth on my dick which I now wagered was spotlights making sure people got good looks.

A final round of applause, "and there he is. Nothing to be ashamed of there, number 8."

And just like that, we all had our dicks out to a crowd of gay guys on my bachelor party weekend. I didn't necessarily want to be on the other side, but imagining the site was ridiculous. A long plywood wall with seven cocks sticking out of it with numbers crudely painted above them.

Dicks of straight men in a gay club, selling out the exposure of our junk for a couple free drinks. This would make a weird story to tell in the future I guess, at least among ourselves. I wasn't planning on sharing this with anyone else.

Little did I know how weird, embarrassing, and hot the night was going to go.