Congi Bar 01

"Well, to be honest with you, I'm surprised you all made it through school. So, um, it was what, like an entire fraternity or something, right?"

"Hm, it's not quite an entire fraternity, Brad, but there is me, Congi Bar, and then there is Congi Dae and then there is Congi Len and of course, there is Congi Mew and then there is the ever so weird Congi Que and then I mean, there is Congi Tam, but we don't talk much about him. But listen, Brad, I mean, tee he, we grew up, right, Brad?"

"Oh, oh, your entire fraternity troupe grew up alright, Congi Bar! And all this came from one single anonymous donor at the clinic, right?"

"Well, we don't talk much about that either, Brad, but it seems that 19 years ago, some schmuck ran amuck through the Fertility Clinic after hours and seeded a bunch of vials of lady eggs and ta, da, here we are today, a bunch of half-brothers, who want to be half-sisters and all grown up!"

"(Fuck!) And you all look a lot a like these days then as I understand it, right, Congi Bar?"

"Oh, hm, we all have very similar hair, which we all refer to as "uneven cut" as opposed to "unkept bedhead" style and we're all about the same size and our facial makeup themes are of similar natures, but our other features come from our mom's, I suppose."

"(Fuck!) Yeah, but, yeah, but, yeah, but, listen, Congi Bar, you all have unique..."

"Tee he, I'm known for my sass and my impossibility tight ass, my half girly brother, Congi Dae, is known as the most adventurous, my half girly brother, Congi Len, brings the booty and I mean, all of da booty and my half girly brother, Congi Mew is known as the bottle of spice for normal couples, tee he, and my favorite girly brother, Congi Que, works at the shady "Peep & Pull" adult bookstore, which we can go to any time you want to and we don't talk about Congi Tam, so?"

"(Fuck!) I mean, I mean, I mean..."

"Ah, ah, ah, Brad, we don't talk about that either, but we're all basically the same size there too with the exception of Congi Mew, who is closer to four, but none of that matters because we don't expect any of our boyfriends to worry about that, so?"

"(Fuck!) And, and, and..."

"Hm, I haven't the way you're thinking right now, but when my time comes, I mean, I want to grimace and grimace so hard that we had better be in a sound proof room! Well, if I'm using the word grimace correctly anyways, but I tell you this, Brad, I'm all grown up and I don't believe any guy should ever experience the color combo of purple and blue unless it's a shirt!"

"(Fuck!) And the six of you, minus one of you, are seeking five separate crews to hang out with on the Strip then, Congi Bar? I mean, if there are five of you, why not go with the Congi crew and be done with it, huh?"

"Hm, we fight worse than any real and natural born sisters, Brad. Also, Brad, do I keep my cheeks too red [eye bat, eye bat], Brad?"

"(Fuck!) Last crew question then, Congi Bar, I mean, all the mom's, I mean, they all managed to live through all this then, right?"

"Oh, they formed a "pull your hair out" ladies club for the first 18 years, but they are all now in a hair regrowth program these days and almost doing well for raising six boys as girls, so?"

"(Fuck!) And not only do all of you look similar and act similar, I mean, all of your birthdays ended up close together then, right, Congi Bar?"

"Oh, we own the last week of October, Brad and my birthday is on the 31st Halloween and now that I've grown, I mean, my little sassy body will work in almost any costume, don't you think, Brad, hmm?"

"(Fuck!) Okay, okay, okay, maybe starting next Friday night you can hang out with my Boot Cut Jeans crew, but I'm assigning an initial handler to you, so?"

"Oh, I mean, like Maye Mia Maye? I mean, for the long-term initiation because for tonight, I mean, your crew guy, Danny, owes me an explanation anyways over the Sadie Hawkins dance and maybe, just maybe, I owe him an explanation back on a couple of things, so?"

"(Fuck!) I mean, I mean, I mean, I wasn't even there and that's my story, so, I mean, I mean, um, well, I don't know what I mean, but I mean something and um, um, Danny! Front and center!"

Well, it was a tie at the dance, but then Danny asked me if I wore stockings with little bow ties high on my thighs under my slacks and maybe there was a large "seven minutes in heaven" closet available to proof that to him, but I was worried that it was a setup, so, um, well, I sent him a selfie and that was all that happened, the end.

[Danny reports front and center because that's what crew dudes do when called]

"Sup, Brad? Oh, well then, Barton..."

"(A quick hushing finger to the lips) it's Congi Bar now, Danny! And we left things at a tie, so?"

"Oh, oh, we have totally different definitions of being tied, Congi Bar, but I've grown into a reasonable person, so, um, you look thirsty, Congi Bar, so, um, how about I take you for a Frosty Swirled Twist, huh?"

Well, that was just dirty pool then!

"Blue, green, red, right, Congi Bar?"

Oh, well, maybe my days of stroking my dates off was finally behind me then! But don't be so quick to discount that! I'm very good at it. Well, twice anyways, but both without complaints.

"Ahem! Excuse me! I just heard that this little Congi bitch belongs to me, so?"

[Tosses truck key fob to Maye Mia Maye and Maye Mia Maye snatches it mid flight like a short stop, which by definition means "fine, go ahead this time, but then your impossibly tight little sassy ass belongs to me" according to the playbook]

Well, two people can't leave things at a tie forever, right? It's just not mentally heathy, so.

"[Seat belt click] we were too young back then, Danny."

"[Seat belt click] and that's in the history books now, Congi Bar."

"[Pissed off that the seat belt has nothing to make the seat belt effect out of up in the chest area] is this a tie breaking date or just a dance reunion of sorts, Danny, hmm?"

"[Reaches over and checks Congi Bar's seat belt buckle, rattle, rattle] people shouldn't live with a tie forever, Congi Bar, it's not mentally heathy, so?"

Well, that was just a little too déjà vu on point!

"Well, I'm not saying that my Capri jeans won't come off some day, but they won't come off very easily tonight, Danny, so?"

"Hah! That's what you said when you stopped by with a pizza in your hands two days after the Sadie Hawkins dance, Congi Bar, so?"

Oh, I mean, that was a mistake and a huge mistake and I mean huge like Mrs. Bentley is huge of a mistake!

"(Giggles)"

Also, the lesson learned is to always check in advance who and how many of his buds are visiting before showing up unannounced with a pizza in your hands. Especially when wearing tight skinny jeans that scream of a challenge of "hah, just try to shimmy these off of me guys" or something like that. The other lesson learned is that guys will gladly accept sex even when the "painted on" jeans remain on, not that I didn't run before that happened.

And just to clean that mistake of a day up, my final lesson learned was to not, not, I repeat, hand off a slice of pizza while tease whispering that it was a shame that we were too young for anything else at that time, especially when knucklehead Zack reminded me and the others that the Sadie Hawkins Day dance was held after my Halloween birthday and everything was legit that day! LOL, that's when I ran!

But my sassy ass probably looked pretty good as I trotted away, so.

Oh, and I'm not trying to over sell my small, yet sassy ass, but my half girly brother, Congi Len, owns the rights to the "booty" in our test tube vial transitional family and we all respect that.

Also, oh, oh, there are a couple of mandatory things in the transitional Tranny world, right? I mean, first and foremost is the mandatory, yet ridiculous bannered selfie that states "I showed you my dick, please respond" that is always the number one selfie on one's Chang homepage and secondly, I mean, it's known that when on a dance reunion date in an SUV, I mean, the Tranny has to prop up on all fours across the front seat and body tease the date driver. And to speak into the squawky speaker.

Also, shoot, oh, oh, oh and by the way, folks, the "I showed you my dick, please respond" selfie is just a gimmick and not actually asking for you to respond. But you won't be blocked for responding.

"(Squeak, squawk) thank you for using the Frosty Swirled Twist Shop's drive through window system, so, I have one blue, green red Frosty Swirled Twist for Congi Tease and one blue, blue, red Frosty Swirled Twist for the date who thinks he can bring Congi Bar out of his shell. Do you need bendy straws or is this a date that actually might happen so that his stiff straw gets all limp and bendy afterwards then, hmm (squeak, squawk)?"

"(Squeak, squawk) Brenda, shut it! But what you just said, so? But my driver date might like his frozen twirly swirl tips inverted (squeak, squawk), so?"

"(Squeak, squawk) this is why I have to wear three shirts all the time because some damn customers want me to inverted their twirly twist tips by using my nipples to impress the twisted tips the other way! Sheesh! Please pull forward to the waiting lane spot and pulling out is never a guarantee (squeak, squawk)."

"Ahem!"

"Oh shush, Danny. It's just sexy drive through window talk and even I know that it's expected, so, shush it and park it in the waiting lane spot because I'm going inside to pick up our beverages."

Well, I had confronted Danny about a couple of things and it was clear that the tie was in my favor and there couldn't be any more between us anyways, especially if I were to actually be accepted into the Boot Cut Jeans crew, so.

[Frosty Swirled Twist Shop front door chime jingle, jangle]

"Oh, there's nothing suspicious about this, Congi Bar!"

"Shut it, Brenda! Trade?"

"Hah! Well, wait, I mean, Craig knows you were in the drive through window line with a bendy straw date, so, he's probably crying in the Men's room by now, but what did Danny say anyways, hmm?"

"Oh, you know, he's a guy and I can't make the "seat belt" effect up top, so?"

LOL, well, that didn't take much!

But I swear, when my transitional half-brothers all decide to change our hair, I'm voting for a bushy ponytail, just like Brenda's. And I would add that I would hope my booty would sway like Brenda's too while strutting away with a swinging pigtail, but I already said that Congi Len owns the booty in our test tube family, so.

[Frosty Swirled Twist Shop Men's room door creeps open slowly, clicks the little door lock]

"(Waah, waah, fap, fap, waah, waah, fap, fap, waah, waah, stroke, stroke, waah, waah)"

"(Psst, Craig, is that you in the center stall?)"

"(Waah, fap, fap, huh, sniffle, sniffle) what? Get out of here! I have frozen mushy in my eye!"

"Oh, I mean, I'll check your eye with some tissue paper then, just unlock the stall door, okay?"

"(Sniffle, floppy fap, sloppy fap, sniffle) is that you, Congi Bar?"

"It is me, Craig, now unlock the stall door. I know what you're doing in there and I don't think you're doing it right, so, unlock the stall door this instant!"

"(Shuffle, sniffle, tuck, zip, tuck, zip, shuffle, sniffle, click unlock) I mean, I wasn't (sniffle) doing anything, Congi Bar, so?"

"(Door squeak, click lock, mm, not doing anything, hmm?) Hi."

"(Sniffle) I mean, hi."

Fine, that was another mistake, but only because, I mean, is there a standard position in a restroom when the jeans won't come off and when there is no way in hell that expensive jeans were going to kneel down on a restroom floor, hmm?

"I mean, I guess I'll just have a seat then, um, right, Craig?"

[Two bodies shuffle around each other in the tight stall, which was, huh, the same as a feel up party from both sides and that was okay]

"(Sniffle, aha, aha, aha, sniffle) I mean, okay, Congi Bar, if you think that is best (sniffle, tee he, finally), so?"

Hah! Well, he won. And Craig won with a lot of power. But I kind of knew what was coming since, ahem, I said above that I've been a hand date before, so. Not that it was the same, but still, I had an inkling of what would happen. Also, sheesh! That was a lot of power!

[Two people shuffle past each other near the service counter]

"Oh, I mean, I didn't do anything in the Men's room, Brenda, so?"

"Oh, and I didn't do anything either other than deliver the beverages to Danny's SUV, so?"

"Oh, maybe I sat down or something then, but only because Craig was sniffling and crying, I mean, so?"

"Oh, and I only tested the myth that seat belts totally enhance the separation of boobs, even when leaning across and dipping my head down, so?"

"Oh, so, good talk then, hmm, Brenda?"

"Oh, good talk, Congi Bar."

Well, all is well that ends well, right?

"Well, wait, Congi Bar, I mean, Danny mumbled about spanking Congi Len around a little bit, so?"

Oh, everybody wants to spank my fem half-brother, Congi Len, around a little bit, so. He has that kind of booty and I can say that now since we're speaking in third party terms, so.

"Oh, I mean, Congi Mew visited with your auntie and uncle last weekend, Brenda, so?"

"Oh, I know and they both appreciated the spice. Also, I'll be your side arm date if you ever want to take me to seedy "Peep & Pull" adult bookstore where your other, other, other, other, other girly half test tube brother works at some night, so, I mean, just as your side arm and all, so?"

"Oh, we have a date then, Brenda, so, um, clean up in the restroom?"

"Oh, I'll have it taken care of then, Congi Bar, so, hmm, good talk, right?"

Well, if I didn't say it before, all is well that ends well. LOL, not the ride back up the Strip with Danny since trade sex seems to be awkward, but I already said that I just wanted to secure the tie in my favor and since, ugh, Craig actually responded to my version of the infamous "I showed you my dick, please respond" bannered selfie, I mean, I had to follow up with that, right?

And by the way, folks, it's just a Tranny gimmick thing and I never showed my dick in a selfie! That I posted on Chang anyways, so.

Oh, shoot, wait, the clean up in the restroom, I mean, I followed through with that too! I did not spit! I mean, I coughed and gagged and hacked and choked, but the cleanup was because apparently, guys roll over and fall asleep anywhere just afterwards.

End Congi Bar 01