Congi Dae 02

Congi Dae 02

Well, I'm a team player and when my half-brother, Congi Que, put out the family call for the rest of our Congi clan to recruit people to make sure that the press release conference for Congi Sia Lia Mia's reveal was packed as possible with people, I mean, I stood up, I chipped in and I recruited! But I guess I didn't read the rules of proper recruiting.

"Oh, hi, guys, I didn't know that the gamer crew slipped upstairs from Jasper's basement, tee he, but, um, hey guys."

Note to self, every time you entered a friend's bedroom wearing a warmup suit, exit that way too because people notice that!

"Oops! BRB!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Congi Dae, I mean, you're fine the way you are, um, I mean, have a seat on the couch and tell us all about your day and you know, start with how you just left Jasper passed out and how you're just getting your second wind and then let's circle around to how a BLT sandwich party at your place would be 50% safe and, I mean, let's chit chat, Congi Dae!"

"Oh, stop being naughty, Dexter and at least let me slip my warmup suit back on, tee he!"

"I mean, I mean, I mean, zippers, buttons and warmup suits are so overrated, Congi Dae, so, where were we, huh? You were saying that you have been taking cooking lessons or something, tee he, right, Congi Dae?

Well, I may have said before and a few of my friends deserved to be fed better because guys need food, sex and video to live, but I really don't recall saying that when they caught me exiting Jasper's bedroom, which was an innocent exit, by the way. I just made myself comfortable and nothing more. It's like on page two of the recruiting handbook.

"Alright guys, now that we have the naughty talk out of way, I'm here on a recruiting mission and I have a recruiting speech and you three are going to listen to me and maybe next week, I mean, I'll make a better attempt at scrambling your eggs, I mean, tee he, making you guys some scrambled eggs."

Well, I had to get the last of the naughty talk in, right? I mean, I'm Congi Dae!

"Now, lean back, Dexter because my recruiting story is real. And tee he, Jasper is passed out, but never mind that because I expect all three of you, Dexter {smooch}, Conner {smooch} and Freddy Ready {smooch, smack, smooch, smack, smooch, smack, mwah, mwah, smooch, smack, smack} to show up at the "Peep & Pull" adult bookstore tomorrow for the big press conference as called by Suzie from the Pizza Shop and attendance is not optional, it's mandatory!"

I mean, they may have noticed that Freddy received a couple of extra of recruiting smooches, I don't know.

"Aha, aha, aha and no judgement for um, um, us exchanging some cash for some um, tokens for the candy machine because that's the only reason in the world that we visit the "Peep & Pull, Congi Dae! It's all about the candy machine."

"Tee he, it's always "tokens for the candy machine" with you guys and I already know that it's about a porn actress named Candy! However, no judgement, Dexter {smooch}, no judgement, Conner {smooch} and no judgement, Freddy Ready {mwah, mwah, smooch, smooch, smack, nibble, bite, smack, smack, peck, peck, mwah, peck, neck peck, chin peck, ear peck, mwah, smooch, smooch, hmm, smack, peck, peck, smack}, so?"

I mean, they may have noticed that I favored Freddy, I don't know.

"Ahem, we can count, Congi Dae!"

"Oh, and can you listen too, Dexter because for you, my precious little bushy hair nerd, Dexter {smooch}, I have selected "Wrong House, Right Delivery" and for you, my quiet little nerd, Conner {smooch}, I have selected "Mrs. Robinson Home Alone" and for my special friend, Freddy at Ready {mwah, mwah, smooch, smooch, smack, nibble, bite, smack, smack, peck, peck, mwah, peck, neck peck, chin peck, mwah, smooch, smooch, hmm, smack, peck, peck, smack, lap hump, grind, peck, smack, smooch, smack}, I have selected "You're My Sisters Roomie?" and there are two roomies! And the sister isn't home! Also, I did nothing in Jasper's bedroom other than to make him pass out, Freddy, I'm So Ready!"

Huh! He got the message. I mean, the message was for I'm so Ready for you Freddy to pull your dick and I actually delivered that message personally because I'm Congi Dae and my boyfriend shouldn't have to guess about stuff, so, um, my message was clear.

And maybe all that left Dexter and Conner with a clear view of me just getting after sucking "Freddy was definitely Ready's" dick as my form of recruitment!

[Oomph, slush, oomph, gasp, oomph, slurp, oomph, suck, oomph, gasp, gag, ooh, gag, ooh]

And the recruitment handbook does say to always make your campaign message clear to the people!

[Oomph, slush, oomph, gasp, oomph, slurp, oomph, suck, oomph, gasp, gag, ooh, gag, ooh]

"(OMFG, Congi Dae is sucking Fred's cock right in front of us, Conner!)"

"(I can't look away, Dexter, but look how Congi Dae's body is moving!)"

[Oomph, slush, oomph, gasp, oomph, slurp, oomph, suck, oomph, gasp, gag, ooh, gag, ooh]

"(Look at Fred's face! He's passing out, Conner!)"

"(Look at how sexy Congi Dae's back looks, Dexter!)"

[Oomph, slush, oomph, gasp, oomph, slurp, oomph, suck, oomph, gasp, gag, ooh, gag, ooh]

"(What are we supposed to do [fap, fap, fap, fap], Conner?)"

"(Mm, mm, mm [fap, fap, fap, fap], mm, wiggle Congi Dae's shorts off, Dexter!)"

Hah! Like I would let either of them do that! I managed it myself without breaking my stride, so.

[Oomph, slush, oomph, gasp, oomph, slurp, oomph, suck, oomph, gasp, gag, ooh, gag, ooh]

"(I never saw a real blow job [fap, fap, fap, fap] before, Conner!)"

"(I never had a real blow job [fap, fap, fap, fap] before, Dexter!)"

[Oomph, slush, oomph, gasp, oomph, slurp, oomph, suck, oomph, gasp, gag, ooh, gag, ooh]

"(I'm passing out [fap, fap, fap, fap], Conner!)"

"(Me too [fap, fap, fap, fap], Dexter!)"

They always pass out. But not Freddy, I'm Ready! Not yet, anyways.

"OMG, OMG, Congi Dae, Congi Dae, you can spit, but please don't spit, OMG, OMG, Congi Dae, aha, aha, aha, you can spit, Congi Dae, but aha, aha, aha, please don't spit!"

Spit? Who does he think I am? Congi Mew? I'm Congi Dae and I follow through! And that meant that my Ready Freddy was ready, tee he, right? Well, he had one little thing to say first.

"And tee he, I've saw the memes, Congi Dae! Gaze up at my eyes! And then, OMG, OMG, something tingly is happening to my nuts, Congi Dae, aha, aha, aha!"

You know, some kneeling positions lend themselves to gazing up and some don't! Or I still have a couple things to learn, but I was ready for Ready Freddy besides that! I'm Congi Dae and I know what eventually happens to a guy's nuts when they get all tingly!

[Blast, gulp, spew, gulp, squirt, squirt, squirt, ewe, gulp, gulp, spew, spew, gulp, gulp, ooze, ahh]

"I mean, I mean, Congi Dae, I have more..."

Oh, well then, Ready Freddy, I figured that!

[Engulf that purple mushroom again, drizzle, slurp, drizzle, slurp, ooze, slurp, ooze, slurp, ahh, ooh, ahh]

I am Congi Dae and I follow all the way through and I am not afraid!

"OMG, OMG, I mean..."

"Pass out, Freddy Was Definitely Ready, pass out!"

"Oh, but Congi Dae..."

"Hush, I'll be your boyfriend every 13th of the month and every full moon, Freddy, who was just a little too ready for his first Congi blow job. Pass out!"

It's the only time that they listen! Just after you sucked their nut out and you authorized them to pass out! Guys, hah, right?

[Story pause, ahem, Todd, if you're there, ahem, that could have been you last Spring! Idiot! You had me! Resume story.]

"Ahem, I watched that, Congi Dae! And that was so fucking hot!"

"Well {smooch, smack} make sure that all of you are at the press conference tomorrow and clean, Jasper and um, well, for you I, ugh, selected {whisper, whisper, whisper}, um, but you can change it to any other peeping video genre that you like so, um, okay, bye!"

I mean, who am I to judge over "Granny Next Door", right? I just hope that granny next door had teeth! Tee he, they come in and out, tee he, which segways into "Gummed by Granny Next Door", but um [violently shakes head from side to side and almost straightens out the infamous Congi Unkept & Uneven cut style hair], but whatever, whatever, whatever, whatever, right?

"Oh, I mean, I would have chosen something totally, totally, totally different, Congi Dae, but, um, since you went through all the trouble and all, I mean, I mean, I'll muddle through it and tee he, manage somehow, tee he."

Oh, but about half through the video, um, well, the guy actually seemed to enjoy his gum job, so, um, maybe removable dentures aren't that bad, but, um, moving on, I had more press release recruiting to do.

[Knock, knock, the side door opens]

"Well, SOB, which one of the Congi funny boys are you then, hmm? And don't you usually wear a warmup suit? And then a Hazmat suit over that? And then a spacesuit over that because my hubby and his garage buddy are home!"

"Tee he, hi, Mrs. Peterson, I'm Congi Dae, um, so is Peter home? I'm on a recruiting mission for the press conference attendance tomorrow, so, is Peter, home?"

"Whew, no, Pete's over Josh's place. It's Vinyl Vanessa's birthday or something, so, um, the press release conference down at the "Peep & Pull" adult bookstore then, Congi Dae? Also, is it Day or Dae, sweetie?"

"Dae, Mrs. Peterson, Congi Dae. I mean, I'm recruiting any and all, Mrs. Peterson, so, um, have you been to the seedy, yet clean bookstore before, Mrs. Peterson, hmm? And can I step inside? I can feel the neighborhood burning holes through my shorts, so."

I mean, sometimes you can just sense it, right? Especially when they are like laser beams! And even more especially when the laser beams just start walking and migrating towards you! As you stand there is Denim shorts that shouldn't be worn in public so much.

"Well, get inside before I'm up on fag gang banging charges, but hearing about how I may or may not have worn a wig and large sunglasses at the "Peep & Pull" a couple of times will cost you a trade of info, Congi Dae! Also, hold please. Harold, Phil, swerve left this instant and take your bent wrenches to the garage! You can tinker with the hubby and his garage buddy in there (faggots) and keep things busy for a while because we have some girl talk business inside of the house."

Well, recruiting sometimes requires a little negotiating, right?

"Oh, oh, Mrs. Greene! You're here for a spot of tea with Mrs. Peterson then? How is Greg? He seems to have been left off of my recruiting list for today, so, I'll have to circle back!"

"Hah! Well, he picked up Vinyl Vanessa's birthday cake and I'm willing to turn a blind eye if even you or literally any other Congi boy gets him off of the plastic girlfriends! It's not healthy! But have a seat since I know that Paula has a couple of Congi things to talk to you about. Also, Congi Whoever, do you even have a dick, hmm?"

"Oh, I could never satisfy a woman such as yourself, Mrs. Greene, especially since you are all women from your feet up to your middle and then even more woman all the way around the middle and back again and especially since you have such heavily sagging boobs, which, my half-brother, Congi Que, claims there is big market for when presented in a bathroom mirror selfie, unsupported, of course, so?"

"Hmph! One photo and one photo only, hmm?"

"Oh, one full frontal photo, one side photo with no sucking in the gut and one leaning forward photo and here, take this with you, so?"

"A banana? What the hell am I supposed to do with a banana? Suck on it in a fourth photo that is half frontal and half sideview, hmm?"

"Oh, so, you've done this before, hmm, Mrs. Greene?"

"Hmph! But I'm glad that you're still a perv for boobs under all that and by the way, my ass and body used to be like that!"

[Pause for an outburst of laughter and knee slapping giggling, ahh, we have fun]

"And then before you leave, Congi Dae, maybe you can stroll out the Paula's garage and get a rise out my limp dicked hubby for me!"

[Pause for another outburst of laughter and knee slapping giggling, ahh, we have fun]

I mean, I'm Congi Dae, not a wizard. Oh, oh, note to self, be a wizard for Congi Bar's Halloween birthday this year! And put a spell on Congi Bar and bar him to the basement in chains because he steals all the best boyfriends! Well, shoot, guys will just like Congi Bar in chains even more!

[Photo flash, photo flash from down the hallway, photo flash]

And by the way, for those of you readers who like to keep score, I did not have the heart to tell either of ladies that their son's have upgraded Vinyl Vanessa to Sally Silicone since they got summer jobs, so, just mark down on your scorecard that Congi Dae needs to be grilled and possibly scolded over his intentions of why that information was withheld, the end, when you determine it's the end.

"Well, that didn't take much, Mrs. Peterson, so, let's hear about how you have infiltrated the security system at the bookstore a couple of times while wearing a wig, large sunglasses, a blue summer dress, a matching shoulder strap purse, matching blue heels and a matching blue thong, Mrs. Peterson, so?"

"Oh, well, I still have needs too, so, um, shut it, Congi Dae!"

[More photo flashes, more photo flashes from down the hallway, photo flash, banana peel???]

"Whatever, Mrs. Peterson, but I'm on a recruiting mission today, so, let's hear about what info you want to trade and I will start out by saying that I never, ever, ever anything with Peter and I have a twice a month boyfriend now anyways with Freddy Fredericks, so, ease your mind, Mrs. Peterson and let's hear it then and you know, start out with popping a couple of buttons on your blouse, so?"

"Hmph! But screw it since I've heard that Congi juice is good for the chest skin anyways [pop, pop, pop]."

Huh, I've heard that too lately.

"I mean, maybe I'm a boobs pervert in reverse anyways, so."

"Ahem."

"Fine, I was a stripper dancer out of school, but college costs money, so."

I mean, I've heard that her All-Star photos still hang in restroom hallway at Hilda's Hideaway Strip Club, so, now I know.

"Alright, Congi Dae, first this conversation never happened because I'm jumping the gun here and I could get kicked out of the gossip club, but listen, I may or may not have some info that the G Girls, Gabbie, Gibby, Gilly, Gitty and Giddy, are positioning themselves to raise the next generation of Congi test tube fem boy babies and my daughter, Ginny, is crying to be left out, Congi Dae, she's crying for being left out from raising the next breed of Congi humans, crying I say."

Well, I passed out from being told that. But nothing happened because, huh? I mean, you would think that I would know something about that before the gossip club did, right?

But then, tee he, I woke up when Mrs. Greene used her swinging and swaying boobs to slap me in the face, which, huh, screw smelling salts!

"Wake up, Congi boy! Paula was trying to tell you she would make a great Congi Grandma! Who still needs her chest skin care treatments! And who just promised to switch over to a green dress when she sneaks into the "Peep & Pull" bookstore to get her glory hole doggie sex! Who also just asked about how to reverse the camera system! And who also just passed out because I'm giving out too much sneaky side sex information!"

[Tea bag dip, tea bag dip, tea bag dip, tea bag dip, tea bag dip]

Well, I passed back out. Tee he and needed to revived again, tee he.

"How big of a market is there for sagging boobs, Congi Dae, hmm?"

"Oh, you would be surprised, Mrs. Greene, but listen, you a few years in advance yet, but a couple of before makeup selfies to imply a granny look has a market too."

Well, that time I passed because Mrs. Greene slapped me silly for saying such a thing, but my friend, Jasper, right, he needs it at 60 plus and I'm Congi Dae and I accommodate my friends! When I'm not passed out.

[Knock, knock]

"OMG, get inside now, Congi Bar!"

Fucking asshole, Ben!

"Ahem, I'm Congi Dae, Ben!"

"Oh snap, Congi Dae, my apologies then, I mean, I mean, you Congi boys have to get distinguishing tattoos or something! It's not my fault that I get confused. Anyways, please forgive me and come on inside, so, I mean, hi."

[A slip inside of the house and the door closes behind Congi Dae and Ben took a peek at that ass that is just as tight as Congi Bar's ass. Like this close and that's close enough]

"Hi, Ben and that's not a "hey there, hey" by the way, Ben, but listen, I'm on a recruiting mission for the press release conference tomorrow at the peeping place and I need to know that the Congi clan has your support, so?"

"Oh, if it's judgment free and I mean, absolutely judgment free, I mean, I'm all in then and shower with me Congi Dae, so?"

"That's dangerous, Ben, but in two weeks, on the 22nd, maybe I'll dry your back after your shower."

"And I don't have to pretend to be asking for tokens for the sandwich vending machine, right, Congi Dae? And will you make me a BLT in one week on the 17th while wearing a frilly house maid uniform, huh?"

"Mm, I'll sit on your toilet and talk to you while you shower in three weeks on the 30th and it's actually a bit of a thrill for my half-brother, Congi Que, when guys get all "I'm only looking for tokens for the soda machine" and I don't want to take that away from Cong Que, so?"

"Ah-hah! I knew it! Oops, I mean, I would have known that if I ever visited, tee he, the peeping place, so, um, we should stop with the naughty because Fred will never, ever dump you now that you gave him sex, Congi Dae, so, I'll be there in support (and crying), so?"

"Oh, how do already know about that, hmm, Ben? And I'm not ashamed, I'm just asking, so?"

"Oh, I mean, you did it in front of the knuckleheads and it was their first sex too! Also, Dexter managed to whip off a terrible, terrible, shaky video of it, I mean, tee he, he must have been pulling on himself like he does in peeping booth #4!"

Well, it was, tee he, a pretty shaky video clip and you couldn't hardly even tell it was me except the back flips of my Congi cut hair, maybe, but they had the rearview and ahem, even though the video wasn't boosting about or posting, ahem, it clearly showed that my butt is just as appealing as the princess Congi, Congi Bar's butt! And feel free to say that in the comments area since I posted it anyways.

And, and, and, give your opinion that Freddy Poo won't dump me (no matter what I do going forward).

"Well, Ben, I need to move on then, but I'll be sure to schedule a, um, what do you like at the peeping place anyways, hmm?"

"Oh (whisper, whisper, whisper), so?"

"Really? Do you have a toga costume so I can have Congi Que find a (whisper, whisper, whisper) video for you whack off over, hmm?"

Huh. The royal queen has the slave boy whipped for peeking, huh, well, there is truly something for everyone at the peeping booth place!

[The Toga Costume Shop front door jingle, jangle]

"Well, well, well, look who finally entered my costume shop on the Strip. The infamous Congi Bar!"

Fucking Shelia!

"Damn it, Shelia, I'm Congi Dae!"

"Oh, sorry, Congi Dae, I mean, you Congi boys seriously need to get distinguishing tattoos or something, so, how can I help you today and you are total boyfriend material, so, I might be interested in being your goth girlfriend, but we have to commit to putting a Congi breed baby in my belly soon, so?"

Shelia, wait, what? Um, boyfriend material? I never heard that before and neither have any of my Congi half-brothers, so, feel free to post about that and um, I'm looking for a toga costume for my friend, Ben, so, his size is, um, a large bed sheet or something, right, Shelia?"

"OMFG, Congi Dae, my sweet innocent, Congi Dae, the royal queen is his slut of a step mom and she runs around the house all morning in a very sheer morning gown! And your friend, Ben, doesn't even live there, so he has to drive over there a few times a week after his dad leaves for work! Are you receiving my message loud and clear here, boyfriend, hmm?"