Congi Dae 03

Congi Dae 03

[Knock, knock, the side door drifts open]

"Oh, Zack, I mean, Zack, why are you here to visit with me then since your rep walks so far in front of you, hmm? I'm not Congi Mew, so?"

"Ah, you ordered a single can of cola from the Pizza Shop, Congi Dae, so?"

[Delivery people never enter the house that they are delivering at. Most of the time]

"Well, fine, you schmoozed me with your words, Zack, so, step inside of my place, but that's all, so."

I mean, listen folks, that idiot half-brother Congi Boi of mine, Congi Len, has scheduled a pizza party for later tonight and that Congi idiot thinks my perfect party match is David and trust me, David is not my perfect match! Oh, and trust me even more that Zack is not my perfect anytime match since his rep turns left before he does at the traffic lights, but, um, well, never mind.

"So, sup?"

"OMFG, Zack, now you expect a blow job from me just for bringing me a single can of cola! That's some nerve that you "sup" have there then, so?"

Guys, right? Well, delivery guys, right? They always want their tip and then they want the tip of their hard cock in your mouth!

"Um, the party..."

"Stop already, Zack, I mean, fine, I have no interest at all with hooking up with that David guy, but the truth is that Congi Bar has been dating around lately and has a couple up on me now, so?"

"So..."

"OMFG, Zack, that means not only am I the second Congi Boi in the birthday sequence and the second hottest Congi Boi, I mean, I mean, I mean, I'm in second place almost everywhere else, Zack!"

Well, that didn't take much. And apparently, all two people need is an empty couch to lean over.

[Thump, thump, pump, thrust, thrust, shelf slam, slam, slam, slam, ooh, oh, thump, pump, slam]

"Ugh, ugh, ugh, I meant that I would give you a lap dance and a blow job, Zack, OMG, OMG, OMG."

"Shut it, Congi Dae and push back more! Fuck me as hard as I'm fucking you! And shut it!"

[Thump, thump, pump, thrust, thrust, shelf slam, slam, slam, slam, ooh, oh, thump, pump, slam]

I mean, just how the hell does one keep the rhythm when Zack is a wild man with his wild man stick, hmm? And I wouldn't be mad if you let it be known to Congi Bar that, ahem, I'm light enough and small enough to be flayed all about by a wild lover! Let's just keep the "OMFG, that hurts" part between us, tee he, okay? I mean, I held position and took it, so. (SOB!).

"OMG, Zack, spew that condom already, Zack, go ahead and make it go all "spew, spew, spew" already, Zack, OMG, ugh, OMG, ugh, OMG, ugh, spew, Zack, spew!"

[Thump, thump, pump, thrust, thrust, shelf slam, slam, slam, slam, ooh, oh, thump, pump, slam]

Well, I was biting the rear of the couch, so, he may not have heard that.

[Argh, spew, ugh, spew, argh, splat, ugh, blast squirt, argh, spew, spew, spew, argh, squirt, argh, ahh]

Finally, I think. I mean, I don't know, I passed out over the couch for a moment.

"Wake up, Congi Dae! I think you were mumbling something about keeping the used condom, so, wake up and take care of that (wheeze)."

Oh, trust me, I mumbled no such thing.

"[Such a careful peeling off of the boyfriend's condom] well, are you my boyfriend now, Zack? And you can answer that in terms of after you butt bang all of us Congi Boi's, so?"

"Called it! You said it, Congi Dae! I mean, what? Who, me?"

Well, there must have a been a "thank you" or a "that was great" in the somewhere, right?

"And you can thank me later for greatly catching you up with Congi Bar, so, bye!"

Well, I heard it, so. I also heard that Zack is my boyfriend after making the Congi rounds with Congi Bar, me again, Congi Len, Congi Mew (good luck) and Congi Que (if Congi Que is interested), so, tee he, I'm basically in the front row!

And I was basically working the front door at Congi Len's place because, ahem, Arianna, from the Lava Jave Coffee Shop was late! I mean, Congi Len and Arianna have this weird friendship from hanging out on the Strip together and for how Congi Len collects $10 bills from literally everybody and how it's become a thing to fold them long ways as a, um, as a measure tape, I mean, I don't know, I'm Congi Dae, the calm one.

[Knock, knock on the front door and the door opens to a nice surprise]

"Yay, Jimmy J delivered the pizzas to Congi Len's pizza party! Wait, I mean, boo, because officially, this is not our half-sister, Congi Sia Lia Mia's boyfriend, Jimmy J, but yay, this party is getting started now!"

"OMG, hush, Congi Dae! I think Suzie, I mean, Congi Sia Lia Mia has a hot mic hidden on me or in the pizza boxes! Also, mm, mm, mm, Congi Dae, mm, mm, mm! Also, did you go horseback riding today because your Congi Boi legs seems a little wobbly, so?"

LOL, and they say our Congi family says stupid stuff, right? And when you've been sexed up by a wild man like Zack, I mean, it was a wonder that I was walking at all, but, tee he, none of us need to share that with Zack since his head is big enough as it is. Both of them.

"Yay, Congi Mew, front and center! You have a hot mic body search to perform! And by front and center, I mean, take it in the spare bedroom and tee he, we expect a full report back on his thigh hair status!"

LOL, and they say that men don't cry! With pleasure! I mean, maybe I turned an ear towards the spare bedroom door, so, what? I mean, that doesn't matter at all, because all that matters is that Jimmy J brought his own alibi team as protection against Suzie, I mean, Congi Sia Lia Mia from knowing that he was in the Congi house.

"(Aha, aha, aha, aha.) Do me, do me next, do me now (aha, aha, aha)."

Ugh, Timmy!

"Timmy, beat it. Well, I don't mean that literally since you literally beat off all the time, but, um, go try to schmooze Congi Bar because sometimes complete opposites attract, um, yeah, um, bye, Timmy."

[Goes to close the front door, but a huffing and puffing extended arm prevents that]

"[Wheeze, huff, puff] I'm here, Congi Len, ooh, sorry, Congi Dae, but I'm here [wheeze, huff, puff] and I'm ready to collect many, many, many $10 bills for Congi Len, so?"

"And you taped a folded long ways $10 bill against your cheek and down into your throat area, Arianna, hmm?"

"[Rips it off] oops, that's still there, I mean, I mean, I mean, ooh, I hear Jimmy J screaming with delight, so, watch the front door for a minute while I measure Jimmy J up! I mean, it's Congi Len's rule and all for his pizza party, so, you know, shut it! Things have dry lately."

Hmm, when the blogs have the "dry period" going on three years, is it really a dry period, hmm, folks?

"Hey, what's going on in Congi Len's kitchen?"

[A neck hickey fest breaks up. Which was worth gold since it was Congi Bar and Timmy]

"[A stunned and wide eye Timmy] bah, bah, bah..."

"Shut it, Congi Dae! We weren't doing anything and even if we were necking, I mean, Timmy and myself size match up anyways since you know, you're slightly, slightly, slightly taller than me, the hottest Congi Boi, so?"

"[A stunned and wide eye Timmy] bah, bah, bah..."

"Oh, well, let's see about that then because I spy with my little Congi Boi eye the left side of his neck wide open and since I'm tired you going one up on me, Congi Bar, I mean, make room because my love bite hickey lips are coming in!"

"[A stunned and wide eye Timmy] bah, bah, bah..."

[Love bite hickey sucking kiss right, love bite hickey sucking kiss left]

"[A stunned and wide eye Timmy] bah, bah, bah..."

"(Psst, Timmy, I'm Congi Dae and my color of purple on your neck is the best!)"

"(Psst, Timmy, I'm Congi Bar and my color purple will look like a designer neck dickie and I'm the best!)"

[Love bite hickey sucking kiss right, love bite hickey sucking kiss left]

"[A stunned and wide eye Timmy] bah, bah, bah..."

"(Psst, Timmy, I'm Congi Dae and I'm going to rub you now.)"

"(Psst, Timmy, I'm Congi Bar and I'm going to massage your colorful balls now.]"

[Love bite hickey sucking kiss right, rub, love bite hickey sucking kiss left, massage]

"[A stunned and wide eye Timmy] bah, bah, bah..."

"(Psst, Timmy, I'm Congi Dae and you can whack off into one of my socks.)"

"(Psst, Timmy, I'm Congi Bar and you can whack off onto my bare feet.)"

[Love bite hickey sucking kiss right, rub, rub, love bite hickey sucking kiss left, massage, massage]

"[A stunned and wide eye Timmy] bah, bah, bah, (collapse)."

"Grr, Timmy passed out because of me, Congi Bar!"

"Grr, no way, Timmy passed out because of me, Congi Dae!"

"Well, tie then, Congi Bar?"

"Fine, it's a tie, but I'm still one up on you, Congi Dae, so."

[Meanwhile, there's a commotion back in the living room by the front door]

"[Bang, bang, bang] let me in, Arianna! I'm Congi Dae's pizza and sex date! (Bang, bang, bang)."

[Hah, let's see that David guy even budge the front door with Arianna putting her shoulders and booty into holding the door closed! And that's a lot of booty to budge.]

"Well, what happened, Arianna? And whatever you do, hold that door shut! Not that my opinion of that David guy is ick, ewe, ick or anything!"

[Huh, Congi Bar is using the commotion as a distraction then, huh?]

"Oh, this guy David, almost got past me because he handed me a neatly pre folded $10 bill for entry measurement purposes, which was nice of him, but then I noticed that it was folded neatly half ways instead of long ways, so, I kicked him out!"

And they say that finding good front door workers are hard find these days.

Also, huh, myself, I would have placed a little woven basket by the front door to collect all of Congi Len's $10 bills, but I guess stuffing them in your waistband Stripper style works too.

[Text tap, text tap, text tap...]

"Oh, are you texting Giana for door control backup then, Arianna, hmm?"

"Um, yeah, either that or I'm texting Zack from the Pizza Shop and letting him know that my booty is lined up perfectly right now with the mail slot in door, um, hey, tee he, look, Congi Bar is helping Timmy away, tee he."

Hah! Like my boyfriend, Zack, would get a piece of front door mail slot glory hole booty!

[Blank eyes blink blankly rather quickly a few times]

"Oh, I mean, I'll help, Congi Bar! There, there, Timmy, put your arm over my shoulder too and we'll get you into the spare bedroom for a rest and (psst, you can pull yourself out, Timmy)."

"No, no, it's there, there, Timmy in my favor, Congi Dae! Go ahead, Timmy and wrap your arm all the way around me and have your way with my perfectly boyish nipple, Timmy and (psst, I'll pull it out for you, Timmy)."

"[A stunned and woozy Timmy] bah, bah, bah..."

"I mean, Timmy, maybe you need my special Congi Dae mouth to mouth then since you're so woozy!"

"No, no, Timmy needs my extra special and cute as all get out, Congi Bar, mouth to mouth!"

"[A stunned and woozy Timmy] bah, bah, bah..."

"Well, they say to loosen all tight clothing, so, um, I'm removing your belt, Timmy."

"Oh, and then I'll unbutton your cargo pants with my Congi Bar fingers, Timmy."

"[A stunned and woozy Timmy] bah, bah, bah..."

"Grr!"

"Grr!"

[Thump, thump, thump, thump, huh, mail slots can be glory holes then, thump, thump]

"OMG, ugh, would you two, ugh, ugh, Congi hens, ugh, ugh, stop fighting, ugh, ugh and let Timmy breath, ugh, ugh, wife me, Zack, wife, ugh, ugh, OMG, that's deep, Zack, ugh, ugh, wife me."

"[A stunned and woozy Timmy] bah, bah, bah..."

"Well, if this were a head injury, the doctor would relieve the pressure, so?"

"Oh, Doctor Congi Bar reporting for duty! I'll relief your pressure, Timmy!"

Damn, I messed up with that one! See, see, that prissy little Congi Bar always has to be one up on me!

"Timmy, you can relieve your pressure into the rear of my undies!"

"OMG, Timmy, you can relieve your pressure directly between my bare Congi scalpels!"

"[A stunned and woozy Timmy] bah, bah, bah..."

"Timmy, I'll directly relieve your pressure with my hands into anything you want!"

"Timmy Poo, how will Congi Dae whack you off if I'm gently pucker kissing you there, hmm?"

"[A stunned and woozy Timmy] bah, bah, bah..."

"Timmy, I'll use my feet on you and choke Congi Bar with your pucker kissed Timmy, Timmy!"

"My dearest Timmy, I'm already used to a folded long ways $10 bill cock down my throat, so?"

"[A stunned and woozy Timmy] bah, bah, bah..."

"Ugh! Timmy, I'll lay down for you naked and let you saw away at my thigh gap until you burst!"

"Oh, Timmy, I'll lay down for you naked and prop up my perfectly shaped Congi Bar booty to give you prefect access to my Congi thigh gap, which you can have your way and I'll even reach under and make a little cup with my hand to sensitize your mushroom until you blast off!"

"[A stunned and woozy Timmy] bah, bah, bah, OMG (spew, spew, spew, spew, spew, spew!)"

"Huh!"

"Huh! Congi power, Congi Dae! High five!"

[Huh, so there is a Congi five high sequence then]

Or, and Timmy passed completely out, so.

End Congi Dae 03