Conversations 12

"But why?" she screamed, dropping off the settee onto her knees. "Why? I've never slept with any other man! And you didn't care about me fucking with my girlfriends, so it can't be over. That's not right! It's not fair!"

I sighed and lifted the strap-on for the last time. "Sue, when you involved this fuckstick in your games, it wasn't sex, it wasn't an act of love, it was an act of war!"

"What do you mean?"

"I measured it. It's eleven inches long. So – and believe it or not this was the first time I ever did this – I measured myself. I'm seven inches long, and that's only when I press the base of the measure firmly against my belly."

"So what? Who cares how long you or that thing is?"

I pressed the remote.

"Oh God, I love that thing. It fills me completely ... perfectly." The voice seemed to fill the room.

"How do I compete with that? I can't make my cock grow another four inches. Not only that, this thing seems to have given you the right not only to look down on my apparently imperfect size, but to extend that into the rest of my life to sneer and denigrate me whenever you feel like it. Just like when you arrived home."

"No."

"Yes!" I shouted. "For the last three months you treated me like some second class citizen in this marriage. Consciously or sub-consciously, you decided I no longer measured up as a man, as a husband, as a lover. And you decided that gave you the right to lord it over me from some great height, as if by only having a dick that you could replace with a piece of moulded plastic anyone could buy in the shops, I was a lesser man.

"You decided I was a lesser man than you, you bitch-cunt!"

I was panting when I finished. Gone was the level-headed rational man. Present was a raging, broken-hearted Neanderthal.

After a moment broken only by her sobbing, I tossed the strap-on to the floor at her feet.

"Here. When the one you bought proves to be lesser than you deserve, try that one. It's actually a full twelve inches. The shop didn't have the eleven inch one the video shows."

I got to my feet slowly and painfully, as if I had become an old man in just minutes. It felt as if I'd aged centuries.

"You four – or you six, it doesn't matter how many – can probably go back to sharing a place together. Or maybe it will just be you. Maybe the other guys won't care, even now they've seen the video I sent them. Or maybe they can strike a deal with you all, to get in on the group orgy action. Me, I just want to be left alone. So go away. Just leave. Or I will. Whichever, doesn't make any difference. This is not a home, it's just a rented sham."

Sue got to her feet. "I'm so sorry."

I sighed, feeling only impatience. "Thank you. Your regret has fully healed my pain and distrust. We can now go forward together, arm-in-arm, on our yellow brick road to see the great wizard."

She flinched.

"I didn't realise I was acting that way. I didn't mean to. Please don't be upset."

"It makes no difference now."

"It's just a sex toy," she said, reasonableness oozing from every pore. "Surely we can't end a great marriage over a sex toy."

I clicked the remote which kept repeating that phrase over and over until she unplugged the television at the wall.

I tried to be reasonable. "Don't you see, it isn't just the sex toy. You had three other lovers and I looked the other way, believing that you needed more than I could give. Then it became five other lovers. Then it became the love of five other people and four other inches that I couldn't give you. How much more do you want me to give? Because I have nothing more left! You've drained me of love. You've drained my trust. You've drained my manhood. You're nothing more than a vampire who's drained away everything good in my life!

"I have nothing left to give you. You took it all, every single thing that I ever was and ever will be, and it wasn't enough!"

She looked shocked, and then horrified that I thought that of her. She had always regarded herself as a fairly moral, upright person with a strong social conscience. She recycled, gave to charities, worked a few days a year as a volunteer, and wasn't racist or homophobic. The latter was fairly obvious by her actions.

So seeing herself as I saw her must have been a massive blow.

"Are you going to leave?" I asked.

She shook her head. "No, I'm not giving up on this marriage!"

I tried to speak calmly. "I figured you wouldn't have the decency to move out, even with your ongoing betrayal. So I packed up after you left on Friday. I've left a list of things I would like to take and will move them out sometime during the week. If you really want them, keep them. I don't care enough to fight about them."

"Goodbye Sue. I won't wish you a happy life, because I don't feel that way."

I walked to the door, holding her off as she tried to physically restrain me from leaving – which was never going to happen with me being a foot taller than her. Everything was already in the car, so I simply grabbed my car keys.

"Oh," I said as I opened the front door. "Thank Jenny for giving me the heads up, even if she thought I'd never pick up on her hint."

"Fuck Jenny! Fuck that stupid bitch!" she screamed.

"Oh, I did," I said, turning away and leaving as she stood dumb-founded and open-mouthed on the doorstep. I hadn't and never would fuck Jenny, even with someone else's dick. But it was a parting hint – a gift that would leave suspicion of betrayal in its wake. Cracks would appear in the Fab Four or Super Six or whatever they would turn out to be in the future – if they had a future.

Meh! Fuck 'em if they couldn't take a joke.