Cross-Dressing, Gay & Lesbian Sex 04

How did she know? How did she discover the secret that he's kept from her for ten, long years? It had to be the nail polish remover or him using her eye makeup. What else could it be? He's always been so very careful not to expose his secret until he was ready to tell you. Whenever he tried on any of her clothes, he put them exactly back in the closet in the same spot and how she had them.

"You do?" Surprising even himself in not denying that he was a cross dresser, he was too curious as to how she knew that he was. "How do you know I'm a cross dresser?"

Instead of looking at her with guilt, he looked at her with curiosity mixed with shame. He looked at her looking at him as if she invaded his privacy when he was the one guilty of invading her privacy by snooping in her closet and trying on her clothes. Then, he thought the worst case scenario.

Damn, maybe she was snooping on his computer. Maybe she knows his password. Maybe she found his secret file of photos of himself dressed as a woman. Maybe she checked his cookies and found the links he saved to all of those cross dressing sites. Maybe she found his secret stash of women's clothes.

"Duh?"

With just her look, she made him feel so stupid. With just a look she made him feel that he was the one cheating on her when she was the one guilty of that with her cheating on him with Veronica. Her secret lesbian fantasy of wanting to be with a woman wasn't a fantasy but her reality when Veronica had already kissed, felt up, and masturbated his wife. In the way that it was okay with him for her to have lesbian sex, he wished it was okay with her that he continue to enjoy wearing women's clothes.

Yet more than the guilt he felt for hiding his cross dressing secret from her, she made him feel that there was something wrong with him for wanting to dress as a woman. Obviously there was something wrong with him for having the need to cross dress but having dealt with that all of his life, that was his cross to bear and not hers. Even though he's her husband, how dare she judge him by giving him that look? Especially that he's her husband, how dare she think less of him just because he likes looking sexy and pretty in the way she enjoys looking sexy and pretty? Just because she's a woman and he's a man, why can't they both look sexy and pretty?

"Duh what?"

She gave him a look of disappointment.

"You should have told me Daniel. You should have entrusted me with your secret," she said.

He stared at her not because he was embarrassed. He stared at her because she was so beautiful and so sexy. Hoping that she understood his need to cross dress, he stared at her fearing that he was going to lose her. Hoping not to ruin his marriage with her any more than how much he's already ruined it, he needed to come clean.

"How do you know that I'm a cross dresser?"

With him always being so careful to hide his secret life from her, he needed to know how she knew.

"You not only shave your face but also you shave your chest, your arms, your hands, your feet, and your legs," she said with a smug, little laugh. "Unless you plan on competing in the Mr. Universe bodybuilding competition, what man shaves off all of his body hair? And unless you use a razor on a stick or go to a salon to have it removed with wax, I don't even want to know how you remove the hair on your back. "

She was right. Funny how he was so guilty about completely shaving himself before, when he was younger, and not giving that a thought now, since he's been dating her and now married to her. She gave him that look again that made him feel that he was the weak one instead of the strong one. With her now in control and having the upper hand, she made him feel that she was the man and he was the woman. She made him feel small. She made him feel dumb. She made him feel crazy.

Duh is right and she's right. Not even giving it a second thought, he's been shaving his body hair off for so long that he didn't think she'd notice. Always taking care to groom himself for those times that he wanted to dress as a woman without raising suspicion that he was a closet cross dresser, because his hairline was receding anyway, he thought she'd figure that he didn't have much hair. He could always tell her that he was a champion swimmer but with his paunchy body, she'd never believe him. The only exercise he's done lately is lifting his hand to his lips to eat food and drink beer.

"I was going to tell you," he said in his feeble defense of not trusting her with his secret enough to tell her, his best friend, his lover, and his wife.

He looked at her ashamed and sorry that he didn't take her in his confidence but he couldn't. What woman wants to stay married to a cross dressing man? Only, now, with him allowing her to live out her lesbian, sexual fantasy, maybe she'll allow him to dress as a woman while they're having sex.

"Moreover Watson," she said as if she was Sherlock Holmes cracking a cross dressing murder case. "A simple deduction," she said with a thoughtful pause that provoked more his curiosity than his guilt. "I know when my things have been moved," she said pointing her index finger at him. "You've been wearing some of my clothes, haven't you?"

She seemed angry not that he was a cross dresser but that he invaded her privacy by trying on her clothes.

"You have such beautiful things," he said. "I just wanted to try some of them on to see how they'd look on me."

"It's okay," she said. "I understand your need in wanting to dress as a woman. I do. Only, I wish you'd buy your own clothes in your size instead of stretching out my sweaters," she said with a laugh.

"Sorry. I will," he said.

"Especially with me confessing that I'd like to have lesbian sex with a woman," she said with dejection as if she was weak and/or perversely perverted for wanting a lesbianism lover as her sexual fantasy. "I just thought it was time to get all of this out in the open," she said with a long enough pause to make him wonder what she was thinking."

"Yes, you're right. It's better this way. I'm glad we know one another's sexual secrets," he said with a relived smile.

"I just thought that if I was to get together with Ronnie," she paused long enough to make him wonder what she was going to say next. "Perhaps you could get together with Martin," she said efficaciously but with a non-judgmental shrug.

* * * * *

Martin? What? She wants him to get together with another man? Surely, she doesn't want him to go bowling, to a ballgame, or to play cards. Definitely, knowing that he doesn't hunt or fish, she doesn't expect him to go hunting and fishing with him, does she? She must be thinking of him having sex with Veronica's husband, Martin. Yet why would she even think that? It's one thing for her to discover his cross dressing secret but how could she possibly know about his sexual fantasy of him imagining having one time bi-sexual sex with a man? Unless she could read his mind, there's no way that she could know that.

Unless, assuming just because he was a cross dresser that he'd be interested in Martin, she looked at him as if she had already answered her unasked question if he was gay or bi-sexual. Just because he's a cross dresser doesn't necessarily mean that he's gay. Just because he's a cross dresser doesn't necessarily mean that he's bi-sexual. Just because he's a cross dresser doesn't necessarily mean that he'd have sex with a man. Even though having one time sex with a man has been his secret, sexual fantasy for a long while, he felt as guilty as he felt insulted that she assumed his secret.

Feeling transparent, he felt so angry that he was so exposed. Whether she was right or wrong in her assumption about him being sexually interested in Martin in the way she was sexually interested in Veronica, unless he confessed and/or acted out his sexual fantasies, his sexual fantasies were none of her business. His sexual fantasies were personal and private. His sexual fantasies were all he had to save him from his boring, mundane, little world by giving him his fantasy of living a cross dressing life.

With him having the sexual fantasy for so long of being with a man, sometimes he thinks it's real. Sometimes, when sleeping next to Emma and dreaming, until he awakens, he imagines he's sleeping with a man. With her looking nothing like a man, if only she knew that he fantasized that she was a man, she'd be so angry. Then, he wondered if Emma fantasized him a woman when she was sleeping next to him and dreaming.

Even though there are some cross dressers who regularly have sex with men, most cross dressers are heterosexual. Even though some cross dressers may have thoughts of what it would be like to have sex with a man, most cross dressers would never have sex with a man. As if complimenting them by dressing like them, most cross dressers are content to look like women while only having sex with themselves or with their wives or girlfriends. Most cross dressers have too much appreciation for women and for themselves than to be dressing like a woman just for the sake of impressing a man and to be with a man.

Yet, with some cross dressers born more female than male, some cross dressers are women trapped in a man's body. Running the whole sexual orientation gambit, sometimes one never knows if a cross dresser is heterosexual, bi-sexual, or gay. Moreover, just because he's heterosexual doesn't mean that he can't have gay or bi-sexual thoughts. Only, he wondered, if he had bi-sexual sex one time, not counting what happened with his roommate, would that make him gay?

He didn't know if one time gay sex would make him gay but the thought of him being gay or bi-sexual, along with his wife's assumption that he'd be interested in Martin, bothered him. Maybe he was gay and didn't realize it until now. Maybe his cross dressing got in the way of him realizing his true sexual identity. With him not yet knowing if it did or didn't, why would it bother Emma if he cross dressed or was bi-sexual? It didn't bother him that she had lesbian thoughts. If anything, it excited him that she wanted to have lesbian sex while he watched. Wouldn't it be something after all of these years being married to one another if she was more lesbian and he was gayer than they were heterosexuals?

'Wow!'

Then again, there are cross dressers like him who've never been with a man but are sexually curious what it would be like to have sex with a man. Yet, not ready to have sex with just any man in a men's room at a bus station, he'd have to be a special man for Daniel to want to have sex with him. He'd have to be an attractive man. He'd have to be a man who not only interested physically but also who excited him sexually as well as cerebrally. Perhaps had he not had the brief gay, sexual encounter with his roommate twenty years ago, he wouldn't be thinking about having another bi-sexual encounter now. Nonetheless he needed to set Emma straight.

"Just because I'm a cross dresser doesn't mean that I'm gay. I'm not gay Emma," he feebly protested.

"I know that," she said with some assurance.

Yet, with him so fastidious about everything in the way that Liberace was with his furs, his jewelry, his homes, and his pianos, his compulsion to always have everything perfectly just right bordered on OCD, obsessive-compulsive disorder. Always figuring that he had a touch of OCD, now he wondered if he was gay instead. Then again, he could be a gay, cross dressing man living in a straight man's body who has a touch of OCD.

Assuredly, if he was given the opportunity to explore his gay side, he'd certainly find out his sexual preference once he had bi-sexual sex with Martin. Maybe not giving into his homosexual impulses, he'll just remain passive instead of aggressive. He'll just allow Martin to have his wicked sexual way with his cock instead of the other way around with him giving Martin's cock his hands-on attention.

"I've never been with a man," he said suddenly feeling guilty for the brief, gay make out session that he had with his roommate twenty years ago.

Unable to erase his bi-sexual thoughts and with him not even knowing what the man looked like or if he'd even be sexually attracted to him, he couldn't stop thinking about Martin's hand wrapped around his erect cock. He was getting an erection thinking about Martin kissing him while stroking him before Veronica's husband lowered his mouth to suck him. Suddenly, freeing himself from his guilty conscience about his secret life as a cross dresser, he was unable to free his mind from the guilt of his homosexual thoughts. Going with the perception that Emma mistakenly had of him and going against his feeble protest that he wasn't gay, he not only invited but also now welcomed his sexual fantasy of having sex with a man.

* * * * *

He thought of Martin passionately French kissing him, unzipping him, taking his erection in hand and stroking him before leaning himself down to suck him. Suddenly, adding even more to his sexual excitement, Daniel thought of taking sexual advantage of Martin in the way that he imagined Martin taking sexual advantage of him. Suddenly, going where he's never gone before, he imagined stroking Martin's stiff prick before sucking his stiff prick and having gay sex with him while dressed as a woman.

'Wow!'

Having never had anal sex before with anyone, not even with Emma, he wondered what it would feel like to have anal sex with Martin. He could probably fuck Martin in the ass if he was drunk and horny enough but he wasn't sure if he'd want Martin to fuck him in the ass. Imagining that it would hurt having a cock buried in his ass, yet just the thought of having anal sex gave him an erection. Just the thought of him having sex with a man while dressed as Danielle was something that he never thought would ever happen. Only having the thought of having sex with a woman while dressed as a woman, that thought was now superseded by the thoughts of having gay sex with a man while dressed as a woman.

"I'm sorry that I implied and/or assumed that you're gay. In the way you make love to me and so enjoy having sex with me, I know you're not gay Daniel," said Emma with conviction.

If only she knew what he was thinking now about having anal sex with Martin, she'd no doubt change her mind about his sexual orientation.

"Thank you for your apology," he said feeling even guiltier now than he did before for the homosexual thoughts that he was having.

"Actually, I just assumed that, possibly, you were bi-sexual," she said. "I just thought with you being a cross dresser that maybe you'd might want to more explore more of your feminine side...sexually?"

'What? Explore more my feminine side sexually by having sex with a man. Damn, Emma is more sexually daring and sexually tolerant than he is. Emma is more in tuned with my private, personal, sexual feelings that I am. Seemingly Emma knows me better than I know myself.

Maybe it's time I stop denying something that can't be denied. Maybe it's time I stop trying to control something that can't be controlled. Maybe it's time that I finally give into my homosexual feelings and go with the flow. Maybe Martin is my opportunity for me to experience more than my feminine side and more than my bi-sexual side but my gay side,' he thought to himself.

"By having sex with a man?"

Concealing his true feelings in being curious about having gay sex, now he looked at her as if she was the crazy one. Again, he imagined engaging in gay sex with Veronica's husband. He imagined Martin kissing him in the way that his roommate kissed him while feeling him. Then, feeling him through his pants while kissing him, he imagined Martin unzipping him and pulling out his cock.

Not surprised that he had an erection, he knew he would. He wasn't even surprised that he allowed Martin to masturbate him before sucking him. Maybe by thinking about Martin having his bi-sexual way with him, perhaps him having bi-sexual sex would really happen tonight. Oh, yeah, with his wife excited to have lesbian sex with her new lover, Daniel was equally excited to perhaps have bi-sexual sex with Martin.

"Just thinking out loud while thinking out of the box, maybe he could masturbate you in the way that Veronica masturbated me," said Emma as if able to read his mind. "Maybe if you're more comfortable not doing him, he could just do you. Maybe he could suck your cock," she said persevering in her attempt to get him together with Martin.

He wondered if those were her thoughts of someone else's. He wondered if Veronica had pressured her to pressure him about having bi-sexual sex. Maybe Martin was the one who ask her to ask him about him masturbating and sucking him. Wouldn't it be something if this whole thing had already been prearranged and he was nothing more than a pawn in their swinging games?

"Maybe," he said not wanting to rule out the offer of masturbating him and/or sucking him.

"Maybe if you allowed me to have sex with Martin after I had sex with Veronica and you had sex with her too, you may be sexually excited enough to change your mind to have sex with Martin too."

Wow! Holy shit! A sexual overload, he would have been happy just having his wife helping him to dress in women's clothes. Before Veronica came along, he would have been happy having hetero sex with his wife while dressed as a woman. Now, with a whole new sexual world opened up to him, he remained quiet while looking at her and while thinking of not only having sex with Veronica but also with Martin too.

As if seeing her for the first time, he stared at Emma. She was so beautiful. She was so sexy. He couldn't wait to see her naked with Ronnie. Then, he thought of cumming in Martin's mouth before he thought about Martin cumming in his mouth. Who knows, not ruling out anal sex, maybe anal sex with a man would be more pleasurable than not. What a difference twenty years can make, the idea of having sex with a man sickened him before as much as it sexually excited him now.

"Yeah, maybe I could do that," he said so matter of fact when he was totally aroused by the thoughts of having sex with not only Veronica but also with Martin.

The only thing better than watching Emma with Veronica having sex, better than watching Martin with Emma, and better than having bi-sexual sex with Martin was him having sex with Emma, Veronica, and Martin while dressed as Danielle instead of as Daniel.

To be continued...