Danish Pastry

It all got back to business when Irene came back.

New Year's Eve came and there were parties out the ass. Everyone was having a party. I was invited to seven and accepted two of them. I went to the first and never made it to the second. The first was hosted by our division chief. That was obligatory... couldn't turn that one down. There were about 30 people there and was at the Chateau he and his wife rented as their home for the three years they would be there. The place even had a moat. A fucking moat!

In addition to our little staff and the spouses of the three married ones, family members and friends were also invited. I knew a lot of the people there from my association with them at work. One of them I had dated, but she was with someone, so I stayed away from her. I did dance with three others and saw and said hello to all the guys I worked with. I even had a glance of Irene who was with an older couple.

My boss, his wife and I chatted for a few minutes before they continued circulating among their guests and I continued to mingle. It was a fun party and I thoroughly enjoyed the social interaction with such a diverse group.

It was about 20 minutes after 11 and everyone was gearing up to welcome the new year. The older man I had seen with Irene earlier came up to me and started speaking in broken English. "You will forgive from me my words. I am not good so with you language. It makes sometimes no sense from me." He hesitated, struggling for the words. "But I try much to say you. She is right. I see how you make her sad." He hesitated again before sternly saying. "Don't my Irena hurt some more." Irene appeared out of nowhere, gently took his arm and spoke to him in Danish and led him away. They had only taken a couple of steps when he turned back and said what sounded like 'ga vaek'.

I felt a hand on my shoulder. "What did you do to him?" Asked Tommy, my British officemate.

"Nothing. I don't even know him."

"I do. That's Irene's father and I think he just told you to go away."

"Go away? From where? For what?"

"Beat's me, mate. I'm getting a drink and finding my wife. She gives good kisses at midnight." He laughed as he waltzed away.

I didn't last until midnight. Irene's father might have told me to go away again if he saw me; only it could have been more public and embarrassing to us both. He appeared to be 'in his cups' and not knowing how he would react if he got any drunker and saw me again, I did another Irish goodbye.

New Year's Day, like Christmas was on Friday. I didn't go back to the office until Monday. I was the first one in. The boss was next. I thanked him for having invited me and told him how much I enjoyed it.

He was German, so we spent time talking about how much fun it was with all the different people. Irene was the last one in the office and like every other day, said good morning to everyone but me on her way to her desk.

The boss called her into his office and they were there for just a few minutes. When they came out, he gathered us together. "Irene is being transferred. She will leave in two weeks when her replacement is scheduled to be here. Until she leaves it will be business as usual. Also, as we all know, Captain Donati will be returning to Italy at the end of the month. His replacement will be here next week. Lots of changes in a short time, but we can't lose sight of our mission. Back to work."

I returned to my desk and set to work, but stopped when Irene walked past. I watched her walk and for the millionth time enjoyed the view. I'm going to miss that image I thought, but I'm damn sure not going to miss her attitude toward me.

That week was worse than normal. It was like she was rubbing my nose in the fact that she didn't like me. Before, she just ignored me, but then she started making a point of showing her dislike. Several times she would start a conversation with someone else, but sit on the corner of my desk with her back to me and carry on her conversation.

I had been there long enough to know that bad manners is one thing, but blatant disrespect in any culture is a definite no-no.

We all had "in boxes" and "out boxes" on our desks for incoming and outgoing documents, correspondence, reports, projects, etc. "Excuse me, but would you not sit on my desk?" I said as I pushed my in box against her gorgeous ass when she sat on my desk.

She continued talking but stood. She was talking to Tommy, the Brit. He looked over her shoulder at me. We made eye contact and he rolled his and almost smiled.

The next day I received a call. "Lieutenant Parker, may I help you?"

"I'm Captain Annika Nilsson in the travel office. Would you have time for coffee? I have something to discuss with you."

"Travel Office? Why would you have anything to discuss with me? I haven't done any SHAPE travel."

"Please, Lieutenant, meet me in the cafeteria at 10."

"How will I know you?"

"Don't worry. I will know you."

She approached me as soon as I walked in the door. "Lieutenant Parker." It was a statement of fact, not a question. "May I call you Phillip?"

"Phil, please."

"Good, I'm Annika. Shall we have coffee?"

"What's this all about?"

"Coffee first." We got our coffee, found a table and sat and looked at each other for several seconds. Actually, I looked at her, but she studied me until I started feeling uncomfortable."

"Captain Nilsson," I started...

"Annika, please."

"Annika..."

"Do you know the word doppelganger?" She asked.

"I do."

"I didn't until recently. By recently, I mean this past month or so. My husband and I arrived at the beginning of December. We had only been here a couple of days when we met Irene Bundgaard at a Danish gathering at the Officers Club. She and I were instant friends; sisters almost. We have since discussed lots of things, some of them personal and she gave me this." She handed me a photograph.

I looked at it, then like Annika had done me, I studied it for a long time. It was like looking in a mirror. The face I saw was my face. If I had an identical twin, we could not have looked any more alike. "What the... who is this?" I asked.

"It was Irene's fiancé. Just before she came here, he cancelled their wedding and broke up with her." Well, hell, that answered a lot of questions. Actually, it just answered one, but that was all it took. Annika went on to say "Irene couldn't believe it when she first saw you and instantly disliked you because you reminded her so much of him." She pointed to the photograph. "Even some of your, how do you say in English, uh... manners... mannerisms... things you do without thinking are like him. Do you know you spin pencils with your fingers when you are talking on a telephone?"

"Uh, yeah, I know I do that."

"So does Frederik, her ex-fiancé. She knows a lot about you and you have no idea how your presence here has affected her. At first she thought she could ignore you and live with it, but it has gotten worse, not better, and even though she loves it here at SHAPE, she has asked to leave because of you." She paused and sipped her coffee. "She feels bad about how she has treated you, but she can't help herself. She has much dislike for him and has taken it out on you."

"Why hasn't she said something?"

"She was going to, but soon time went by and it got more difficult for her. Do you see that?"

"Yes."

"Then it got worse because she was mad with herself for not doing it. Then mad with you just for being you, which is not fair for her to think. You must know that none of this is your fault. It is hers."

"Oh, believe me, I know it isn't my fault."

"You must help her."

"What?"

"You must help her not feel so bad. If she leaves she will feel bad forever."

"Why should I? She's treated me like dirt for a year and never thought of my feelings. And why are you getting involved? Did she send you?"

"She did not send me, and would not. Ever. But she is my friend."

"You've only known her for a month. How much friendship can you develop in a month?"

"Friendship comes fast when sadness is there. Irene is sad. Sad for you because how she treated you, but mad for herself because she did it."

"Good. She can stay mad. I have no intention of helping her. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to work." I stood and left.

Irene was just coming down the hall in the opposite direction when I got to the office door. Normally I would indicate she, or anyone else, should enter first. I didn't that time; I opened the door and stepped in front of her. I was pissed that I would be asked to help assuage her feelings when I was the one mistreated.

It was a slow day and I sat at my desk going over some papers that I wouldn't need for several days. Occasionally, I'd look in her direction and a couple of times I thought I caught her looking in mine. Fuck it. I called Kristen to see if she was available for dinner. She wasn't. The whole office got involved in a discussion so I was distracted until it was time to leave.

I went to the BOQ, sent an email to Willy and told him about my day. He answered almost immediately and was laughing his ass off. He knew about Irene of course and kept teasing me about having the hots for her. I kept telling him to kiss my ass.

Dinner is usually eaten later in Europe than we in America are used to, but I had gotten used to it, so it was almost 8 when I sat down to order it at the Officers club that evening. I had just been given my menu when she came to my table.

"Do you mind if I join you?" She asked.

I didn't hesitate. "Yes, I do mind. I'd prefer not to eat with someone who has treated me like I don't exist. Go give someone else the pleasure of your shitty attitude." With that I just looked at her.

She stood there for several seconds, then spoke. "You're right, of course. I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry. You remind me of someone I dislike and you didn't deserve to be treated like that. I'm sorry."

And poof she was gone.

The day she left, she came to the office to say goodbye. She hugged and did the European cheek kiss ritual to everyone but me and they were all standing around her telling her how much they enjoyed working with her and how much she was going to be missed. I stayed seated at my desk pretending to work. When she was finished with them, she stood in front of my desk, laid a flower in front of me and left.

The office was silent with everyone looking at me. Tommy, the Brit walked over. "Do you know what that is?" He asked.

I looked up at him. "I have no idea."

"It's a Lily of the Valley. Among other things, people give them to those they seek forgiveness from. I know that because I've gotten them for my wife more than once."

I picked it up and smelled it.

The next year went very fast. Kristen and I became an item until her tour was up and she returned to Germany. Not actually to Germany, but to one of Germany's ships. Willy, Sophie and their son, Phillip, (who was named after me), and I spent two weeks driving around Europe after they spent time in Clifden with Grandma Katie.

It was early Spring and I was in my last few months at Shape. Annika Nilsson and I had maintained a loose friendship and had coffee together several times. I received a call from her one day.

"Just thought I'd let you know that Irene will be here Monday. She's part of a planning group meeting and will be here for a week. She asked if you were still here. When I told her you were, she asked me to ask you if you would consider having coffee with her."

I thought for a few seconds and remembered the Lily of the Valley. "Please tell her yes."

"I will do that."

Two hours later she called back. "They arrive Monday morning and their first meeting is at one in the afternoon. How about coffee at 11?"

"That will be fine."

Our meeting was a bit awkward at first. Neither knowing what to say for long stretches of time. By noon we had lightened up a bit and were even smiling at each other. She had just started telling me about her fiancé dumping her when she realized she had to run.

Back in my office, Irene's replacement, another Captain, but a male, was the only person who had been there less time than me. I was senior to him, timewise at SHAPE, but he outranked me, but so did everyone else. They were all Captains or Majors. I was still a Lieutenant, but a First Lieutenant because I had received a promotion.

Close of business came and I headed to the BOQ and my usual rest before dinner. At the club, I had just ordered when Irene came in, looked around, saw me and came over. I stood that time.

"We are having a welcome reception in one of the small rooms, but it will be over soon. Would you like to have a drink after?" She asked.

"Yes, I would."

That night, I heard the same story from her that I had heard from Annika Nilsson about the fiancé. "I was so mad and upset, and I treated you so badly. I can never apologize enough," she said. "My conduct was unacceptable and I embarrassed myself." The week she was there, we spent all of her spare time together. It was all fun except the last evening we had before she returned to Denmark. "Phillip, this week has been fun and I still regret the time we... I... wasted when I was stationed here. But you have to know something."

"Okay. What is it?"

"I know you have to be wondering if I am thinking of my ex-fiancé when I am with you. I know that because I wonder about it myself, and the honest answer is, I don't know. I don't think so, but you are so much like him and I fell in love with him and the things he was, that I don't know. You and he could be twins in so many ways."

The fact is, I had thought about that. I certainly didn't want to be a substitute for him, but I figured I'd never know for sure. A nagging doubt might always be there. It was a moot point anyway, because the odds were that week would be the last I would see her because I would be back in the States in a few months.

When we parted, I got the traditional cheek kiss and a warm, sincere goodbye.

I finished my three-year tour and went back to the states. I took a 30 day leave before reporting for duty at the Pentagon where I was an action officer; the same job I did in Belgium.

Again, I found myself the lowest ranking person in the office, and again, I thought it was an error. My boss even called the personnel office to see if they had made a mistake and was informed that no, they hadn't. He looked at me. "Lieutenant Parker, it would appear that someone has chosen you for the fast track. First SHAPE and now here. I suggest you keep your nose clean, work hard, and start work on getting your Master's Degree as soon as you can. It looks like you might be going places. All you'll need after this is some command time."

Going places, I did. From the office to another BOQ and back. Then I decided to rent a house. I did and bought furniture and all the shit necessary to furnish it. It was a relief to be able to spread out after years of living in one room of a BOQ.

The work hours were long. I did get most weekends off and I rested. I was there three months before I realized I needed to get laid. The Officers Club became my 'go to' place, but the pickin's were kinda slim. I did manage to hook up with another officer and we became fuck buddies, but nothing more. She outranked me by two grades and was five years older than me, but that didn't matter. We reserved our Saturday nights solely for sex.

That worked pretty well for almost a year. Then I received a phone call. It was my German Navy friend. She was assigned to their sailing training ship and it was going to meet our sailing training ship in Boston for a long weekend of Tall Sailing Ships display. She asked if I might be able to find time to see her.

I did. We met. Said hello. Had dinner. And went to bed. We stayed there as much as their three-day visit would allow.

Another six months went by. I was doing well in my job, Willy, Sophie, and my namesake, Phillip, were also doing well. We managed to visit each other every couple of months and he was still my best friend.

My fuck buddy and I still had our Saturday nights and life was good.

Then Willy called to say they were going back to Ireland. His grandmother was in poor shape and she wanted to see him. He asked if I were interested in tagging along. Things were slow for a change, so I took a two week leave.

On a hunch, I contacted my old office at SHAPE to see if anyone I knew was still there. Two were. I asked if one of them could contact the Danish Army Liaison Office and see if they would give them contact information for Irene. I left my own for them to pass on just in case they wouldn't or couldn't give me hers. Two days later I received a call in my office. It was her. The Danish Liaison contacted her and gave her my Pentagon number.

When I answered the phone and she told me who she was, I was a bit surprised. "I didn't know if you would remember me," I said.

She laughed. "Of course I remember you. I have asked your Liaison office at SHAPE for your telephone number several times, but they wouldn't give it to me." We got up to date with what we had been doing with our lives, but no boyfriend or girlfriend was mentioned. I told her I would be in Ireland for two weeks. "Can you come to Denmark? I would like to see you."

We discussed the possibility and decided that we would meet in Copenhagen.

After two days with Willy and his family in Clifden, I flew to Copenhagen. I was going to spend two days there, but it turned into a week. When I saw her at the airport, she hadn't changed physically and there was a happiness I hadn't seen.

"It is strange how I've thought about you, Phillip and I mean that. Not that other guy we won't mention who looks like you." We paused talking and just looked at each other. "Do you know when I first started looking at you differently?"

"I have no idea."

"That Christmas week that you volunteered to work so everyone could be off. I heard that you did it after you found out that if I worked on the day I was scheduled, I would not be home for Christmas."

"That wasn't the only reason."

"I remember other things too."

"Like what?"

"Like the party when my father talked to you. I went home for Christmas and they came back with me for New Year's. I told them about you and when I pointed you out at the party, my father, who was a bit drunk, decided he was going to talk to you and convince you to go away from there so I wouldn't have to see you. I apologize for that, too."

I chuckled. "That's okay. He was just looking out for your welfare."

As I said, I had intended to stay for two days, but she and I were having so much fun, I stayed for a week. My last night there, we had sex. I'd like to say it was the best I'd ever had, but it wasn't. We both tried too hard and it was rushed. We'd both had better.

Fortunately, we had other opportunities to improve. For the next almost two years, we took turns flying across the Atlantic to visit one another. My three years at the Pentagon were over and I was ordered to Germany. I sold my house, packed up and left.

I was, by then, a Captain and my new assignment was to USAREUR (United States Army, Europe) Headquarters. When I got my assignment, I remembered what my boss at the Pentagon had said about all I needed was command time; and I got it. Commander of the Garrison. It was slot for a Major and I was a Captain. Things were looking good.

The job was great, Irene was back at SHAPE and we spent most weekends together. Things were getting serious between us and I enjoyed the trip to SHAPE whether I took the five hours to drive or the four hours on the train.

After almost a year of that, she talked herself into a job as Danish Army Liaison to Headquarters, USAREUR and we rented an apartment together. We were discussing marriage when my Branch Office called me and told me that since my three years in Heidelburg were almost up, I was needed in Afghanistan.