Dark as Daylight Ch. 17

Hubble's constant was: Ho = 67.11 parsecs/per millisecond.

The new Constant is exactly: To = 74 parsecs/per millisecond. It is verifiable by any telescope on earth, and by any sentient being in the universe."

"I know this is going to bite me in the ass. No let me just say it. The 'T' is for Truman and Tatum?"

"Of course, it is, mom."

Gray said, "I hate myself."

Gordon laughed. "I knew you would."

"What or who allowed you out of bed?"

"I have a meeting to go to in 20 minutes, and when no one was at the meeting room I figured I would come outside to see where everyone was. Guess what; my family was having a meeting, and I decided to join in. I did a little work with the 'T's' on this Hubble project, and I knew they would nail it. I was waiting to see if my niece had finalized her project. She's been sneaking away from me lately, hiding behind corners, and playing shy. What's up my partner in crime, or am I still to be left in the dark?"

"Oh yes, she is going to put you in the dark, all right, really in the dark. I may leave you out there."

"What's up cupcake? What do you have in store for me, because you know anything you ask of me, I will do."

"Will you walk outside the spaceship for me?"

"Even without a space suit, if you want."

"You would die!"

"I would die for you. I remember what you did for me. I owe you, and I will repay you with my life whenever you wish."

"I need you to catch 'Dark Energy' for me."

"No problem, when are we going?"

Delicious exploded. "No Problem! Do you realize what she just asked you to do?"

"Yes, I do, and I will do my best to catch 'Dark Energy', because I suspect she has a plan for me to do it. Don't you Teddy?"

"Yes, I do, uncle Gordon, it's a very easy plan too. We will leave the planet and pick up speed until we are moving at 2 ½ to 3 times the speed of light. You will go outside the spacecraft, as far as you can, on the tether. You will have a closed radiation proof jar attached to your chest. Face the same direction we are going, and when you are ready, open the lid, wait 10 minutes, and close the jar. Then you can return to the ship. If all went properly, enough 'Dark Energy' will have compacted itself in the jar to power my mommy's newest engine."

"What new engine? Hello, I didn't know you working on a new engine?"

"I just found out about it a few moments ago."

"If I can be of any help, just ask."

"Thank you, Gordon, all I have to do is get you way from Zoey."

"Who opened their big mouth? We haven't said a word to anyone."

"Don't bother Gordon, the cat is out of the bag. How far along is she?"

"She is almost 4 months gone."

"I thought you lost weight."

"She is very tough keeping up with."

"Try eating more vegetables in the morning, and meat for lunch. According to Hannah, it's supposed to help keep weight stable."

"Look me in the eyes, sis; does my wife have company?"

"Holy crap, do you have x-ray vision too?"

"No, something odd is going on and I picked up on it."

"What was it, what gave it away?"

"You have to promise me one thing before I tell you what it is. You can't stop doing it, and you can't hit anybody; especially that, you can't hit anybody."

"Okay Gordon, what gave it away?"

"If you break your promise, every time I see you, I'm going to whack your behind so hard, you're going to scream. Do you understand, Delicious?"

"Yes, I understand. Now tell me, what gave it away?"

"It was very simple. You are holding Gray's hand, and stroking it softly."

Before she could move, and she really wanted to move, Tatum was sitting on her lap, Teddy was squeezing her left arm, and Gray had his hand down the back of her slacks, grabbing her ass.

Tatum said, "Hi mommy, did Truman tell you about our discovery? Isn't it wonderful; now we are real scientists. Isn't that great mommy? Are you in there somewhere, mommy?"

"Yes sweetheart, I am in here. Truman did tell me about your discovery. I am going to ask some of our senior scientists to verify it for me. I believe what he told us is true. It will just be another set of eyes verifying your work. It is done all the time on Earth, and probably throughout the universe. Honey why did you jump on my lap just now?"

"I didn't want uncle Gordon to spank you again. You always get angry with him, and you are always wrong when it happens. He only told you the truth. Why do you get angry with him, when he tells you the truth?"

"I don't know. I think it goes back to when he was a young boy, and hid from me at the dinner table. He would climb underneath it so I couldn't get to him. It was so frustrating. All I wanted to do was tickle him."

"Uncle Gordon is ticklish?"

"Of course, he is. All you have to do is get behind his ears, and he will run away laughing like a tiny baby."

"Uncle Gordon, where is mommy ticklish?"

Delicious yelled, "Don't you dare."

He replied with a big smile on his face, "It only seems fair."

"I will put you in the jar, with the 'dark energy', and open it in a year to see who wins."

Monty said, "I hate to break up this family feud, but we have a meeting to attend in five minutes."

"You lucked out, Gordon."

"You can look at it that way, sis. Congratulations on the boy, by the way."

"Dammit, how did you know it's going to be a boy?"

"Your mother said you were supposed to have seven children: four girls, and three boys. You have the four girls. It was not hard to figure out that this one was going to be a boy."

"Why do you always get me on the easy things. Sometimes I want to punch my own lights out, because you do that to me so often."

"Can I watch when you do it."

That was the last straw. She went after him like a missile with his name on it. He was running just fast enough to keep her 3 or 4 steps behind him. He kept taunting her as he took the stairs up to the third level, and charged into the conference room. He nearly ran over his mother, Janet, and Fred, who were already seated by the oval table.

Jennifer yelled, "Are you two at it again?"

"She's out of control mom. Her hormones are overflowing. She tried to beat up Gray, but he escaped by the hairs of his chinny chin chin. Her children are driving her crazy, because they are smarter, and faster than all of us old people. And to top it all off, she's pregnant with number seven."

Jennifer shouted, "Thank goodness, this madness will finally end in a few months. How pregnant are you, Delicious?"

"Mom, that's not fair. I only wanted 1, possibly 2 children. I wanted no part of 7."

"Look who you are talking to Missy, when you talking about having a brood of children. Look what your father put me through? After my 3rd, he asked me if I wanted him to have a vasectomy so I wouldn't have any more children. I told him I didn't want anymore, and he was such a wonderful, and caring husband, he had it done. I thought I was in the clear for the rest of my life. I should've known better. He cheats everyone, and by that, I mean he would have cheated God, if that was at all possible.

Everything he did scientifically, he was told was impossible. He thrived on that word: Impossible. Give him an impossible deadline, and he'll meet it. Give him something that's not possible to do, and he'll do it. His children are following close behind him.

They are following in his footsteps. I don't have to tell you two what you've already done, because we wouldn't be here, on this planet, if you two hadn't done the impossible. We wind up with floating sofas in the basement, because of a 15-year-old girl living in Maine. A tiny television station, in Austin Texas, announces the invention of the ages. Atomic energy, with no waste products.

A 16-year-old boy invents Nuclear Fusion, and gets grilled, live on television, by his father's former teacher at MIT. Isn't that wonderful for everyone involved, except for me, because I got pregnant again. The wonderful darling husband of mine that I adored, and fawned over had the vasectomy reversed, and he didn't bother telling me. I wound up having 3 more adorable children. Wasn't I lucky?

If I didn't love the bastard so much, I would have cut him to the quick. That weapon of his, oh God, I loved that weapon of his; I loved it so. I have a total of 7 children implanted in me by that wonderful tool.

My first child was given to me, while I was a young and tender 19-year-old college freshman, and I issued forth Gordon. I received six more geniuses from Dr. Even Luck; that no good cheating bastard. He never cheated on me, he never had a woman before me either. He swore he never had sex before he entered me. He told me he knew nothing about sex, but he read a lot about it. By the time he was finished with me, on our wedding afternoon, I had a permanent smile on my face, and I was bowlegged, and pregnant for life. No one can possibly be that big, without being surgically enhanced. After being with him for a while, I knew in my soul he probably did the surgery himself.

As I said, he cheats everyone. He cheats science, because he gets things done that are scientifically impossible. Ask any of his peers if the things he has made work can possibly work. If you get a yes as an answer, please let me know.

He cheated death, because he had his pilot crash their airplane into the trees, BACKWARDS, because of a joke I told him on our way to Anchorage, from Minneapolis. He is unscathed, but the pilot is seriously injured. He disassembles the airplane, builds a rickshaw out of the aircrafts parts and walked over 40 miles out of the cold dense Alaska wilderness straight up to my front door.

While he was trying to keep the pilot alive, and waiting for rescue to arrive, he told me we were going to get married, and to be ready to leave for Denver the following morning. He didn't ask me if I wanted to get married to him, he told me. We only knew each other for the hours we were on the aircraft heading to Alaska, and I was impressed with him and his knowledge. I knew there was something between us, and I wanted to pursue it, but marriage was a big step. He was adamant. He told me we were getting married in no uncertain terms. He said he would wine me and dine me, when we got back to Denver, and I would love living where he lived, because his home was out in the middle of nowhere, just like my house in Alaska was.

I guess I helped him cheat death that time, so I kept him, as long as I could, until that rotten bastard decided to vanish from our spacecraft, while we were in the middle of nowhere.

I know exactly where he is now, and know he's going to be there until they destroy his computer chip. Now, he's trying to cheat a computer in a game of chess. Trust me, if it can be done, Dr. Even Luck will find a way to do it."

"Are you sure it's only 7 children, mom? If that smile on your face gets any larger, it's going to crack. Viggio is a very happy man, and rumor has it that he has taken up permanent residence in your apartment. Some mornings he's late for work, and we don't keep time schedules. I can't imagine why anyone could be that late? I'm going to have to keep Teddy away from you two. I don't want her to see what wyandotta has done to you."

"Monty, do plastic surgeons know how to wire jaws shut?"

"I think that's one of their specialties, Jenn."

"Would someone please block the exit to this room, my son and I are going to have a parent/ child conference."

"Mom, do you remember the night you took me to Walgreens to buy me a pregnancy prevention item, and I fulfilled a life long wish of mine. It's been a very long time since that night, and it would be my privilege to do it again."

"I will get a gun, and I will not miss."

"It does not mean I will not get my wish."

"Before the entire Luck family gets into a brawl, this meeting is called to order. You are a little testy, Jennifer, are wedding bells in the air?"

"Well, since his ship is gone, and we really don't know how to get to his star system, I guess you could say I have him by the nose."

"Are you sure, it is only, by the nose, mom?"

"Delicious grab your brother as he comes by. I will kill him, when I get there."

"With pleasure, mother."

"I don't know why you're up in arms over my question, mom. I only wanted to find out how long I was going to have to wait to walk you down the aisle, with my new stepfather. You were the one that told me I was going to do it. Don't you remember?"

"I remember, but did you have to be so crude, in the way you phrased your question?"

"You should be happy I didn't ask if you were going to perform your wedding, according to the constitutional marriage rite of the Nasralvhrnec?"

"Show off; there are only three people on this ship that can say the name of his home planet, and two of them are in this room. Viggio can say it, but I swear sometimes he doesn't say it properly. I am happy I can spell it properly."

"Thank goodness it doesn't have to be put on the wedding invitations. We are having the wedding here, aren't we, mother?"

"I will let you know, when the time is right, my son."

"Aren't you interested in knowing about Viggo's wedding ceremony, mother?"

"Does anyone in this room have a gun, or a long blade. I know I'm going to want to kill Gordon, after I say, 'Yes', to his question."

Everyone in the room checked, but they knew beforehand they had nothing Jennifer could use to annihilate her son."

Delicious said, "I will kill him for you, mom."

"No, I want to kill him. I just need something to do it with."

Gray said, "You could always swing Delicious at him. If their heads collide, that will kill them both."

Delicious growled, "And what about our baby, asshole?"

"Mommy, you said a very bad word."

"Your father made me very angry. However, that was no excuse for my inappropriate verbal outburst. I'm sorry. I will go to the chapel later, and pray."

Monty said, "Teddy, look what you've done for your mother. I never thought I would see the day when she changed her ways. You were just a baby when you started in on her. It took you less than 10 years to make your mother change the way she uses language.

Now, she is a completely different woman, because of your unflagging efforts. You are to be congratulated. If I had a medal to give you as a sign of excellence for doing such a magnificent job, I would do it in front of the entire crew. It would show them how well a job can be done, and should be done. Thank you, Teddy, thank you for giving us your mother, the way God intended her to be for us."

No one had ever talked to Teddy as if she was an adult, since her grandfather died. He always treated her as an equal, and she always tried to do her best work for him. She never let him down. She completed every task he gave her. Now, here she was 10 years later, and Monty was telling her the same thing. She felt..., she wasn't sure how she felt. Water was filling her eyes, until it finally overflowed their rims. Tears flowed down her cheeks, even though she didn't understand why she was crying.

Monty moved to her side, and hugged her.

"You are supposed to be smiling, little captain. What I said honored you, and your persistence in training your mother to be a good parent, a great mother, and a fantastic wife. But most of all she has become a wonderful crewmate to all of us. All of this happened, because of your constant presence in her life. If it wasn't for you, your willingness to be with her for hours, instead of playing with your friends; and your willingness to lose at monopoly, knowing that she was cheating, who knows what would've happened to her."

"I never cheated at monopoly. I swear I never cheated."

Everyone laughed at her outburst.

"I guess we will let that one go, Teddy. If it wasn't for you being beside her all the time, your mommy would not be with us today. She would have died of a broken heart, because she couldn't find the place in her heart where she was supposed to be happy. You brought her to that place Teddy. It was right here, but she didn't realize it. You would no longer be with us, either, and your daddy would only have Newton to watch over him. We all know how that would have gone, don't we Teddy?"

"Yes, big captain, but I wouldn't do that to my daddy."

"Apparently, neither would your mother."

Everyone laughed, until their sides hurt.

*****************

Gordon said, "I guess it's back to us now mom. Do you want to know what Yantal told me about their constitutional 'Primary Marriage Contract' or not? It does not make a hill of beans to me, if you want to know, or not. It's just a part of their history. I thought you might be interested in knowing about it, since you are going to be the 'First Homo-Sapiens/Human-Female' to Marry a/Nasralvhrnec/Male.' If I am correct, and I always am, you are also about 2, possibly 3 months pregnant."

Jennifer was irate. "Tell me, tell me how you knew I was pregnant. I haven't told anyone, dammit. I haven't told him yet. How did you know, and don't you lie to me?"

"Thank you for confirming my suspicions mother. I wasn't sure, one way or the other, but I took a good guess. You two have been screwing like bunnies, for the last 4 ½ months. I know you haven't been taking birth control pills since dad died, and he always said that he could walk past you, and get you pregnant."

"That bastard should thank the good Lord he's dead, because I would be fitting him into a stump grinder if he was here now."

"To continue, I had a discussion with five of our doctors, and there was nothing in our genome sequencing, or cell structures to stop conception, between our two species. As you told Monty last year, 'If you are going to play, you are going to pay'."

"I did not say that to Monty. It's what I meant, but I did not put it in those crass terms."

"I guess you don't want to know what Viggio's wedding ceremony would be like. As I said, it doesn't make a hill of beans to me."

"You must have a death wish. It must be so outrageous; I would want to kill you. So, my son, I am going to disappoint you. 'NO'; I don't want to know about the wedding ceremony. I would probably have to be naked when we were married, screw him during the reception; all while we were on a raised platform."

Gordon shouted, "You knew. You knew all along, and you lead me on. Way to go mom, you finally played me for the sucker."

Jennifer shouted, "I'm not only going to kill your father, because of the way he raised you. I'm going to kill you and him at the same time. No planet would have such outrageous rules of conduct. If they did, no man would have balls on their wedding night."

"Nasralvhrnec would be a lot of families, with only one child."

"Good, a woman would only have to go through one painful pregnancy during her lifetime."

Delicious said, "Gray, do you see what I mean darling; she may not be my birth mother, but I do get some of my temperament from her."

"You didn't need any help in that department dear. However, she did help you with your cooking. It took me a lot of years to work off the weight I put on, because of your wonderful meals."

"Thank you dear, you got out of that one gracefully. So, I'm not going to hit you."

"Good, that way I won't have to spank you, when we get home."

"Not even if I ask you to?"

"Little ears dear, little ears."

***********************

"Mom when dad left us, he put me in the position as 'Man of the Family.' I take that job seriously. I don't do the careless things I used to do, because I have people I must protect. I owe my life to someone, and I will be around, regardless of how old I am to repay that debt. Now, I told you how I knew you were pregnant, because dad gave me the cues he used to pick up on your pregnancies, and how to get the truth out of you, before you knew it."

Jennifer interrupted him.