Dark as Daylight Ch. 18

"Definitely saddle shoes."

"What size are your shoes?"

"The same size."

"The same size as what?"

"The same size as the measurement."

"You're shitting me."

"I don't believe now is the appropriate time to measure, but they are the same."

"Your shoe size, and your dick size are the same size?"

"My dick is not as wide as my foot."

"I certainly should hope not, it would kill me."

"No, it wouldn't, it would just be very tight."

"Says you."

"Think pleasant thoughts, dear."

"All I'm thinking about at this moment, is pain."

"It would not hurt, after the first dozen times."

Her hand shot up between his thighs and grabbed his manhood.

"Should we discuss this again, sir?"

"Becky, what did I tell you, during all our discussions? We are both going to be virgins the first time. We are both going to be frightened, excited, and inexperienced. The one thing we are not going to do is rush. When you are ready, you will tell me, and we will begin. We will not change that ever. We are still years away from that point. We have a lot to learn about each other, and about life. Don't ever be afraid of me, because I am very pliable. I am very easy to get along with, and I learn very quickly. If you want me to fuck you in the ass first, it's okay with me."

He drew up his knees, put his arms in front of his face, and tucked himself as tightly as he could to avoid being mauled by an irate female.

He waited, he waited, and he waited. Finally, he lifted his head and peeked.

He ducked back down instantly, as a nine iron flew over his head.

"You thought that was funny, Mr. Luck?"

"You didn't think it was funny, Miss Finch? You thought I was going to do that on our wedding night? When are you going to grow up, Miss Finch, and smell the roses?"

"I guess I am not as liberated as I think I am, Rich. I know all about sex, but you caught me off guard with that one. You can come out now."

"Has the golf club disappeared?"

"It will, soon. We have to discuss something else."

He came out of his cocoon and looked at her. Her face was a little flushed, and she was still twirling the club in her hand.

"Come here, Missy."

"I am not ready, yet."

"I didn't ask you if you were ready, I asked you to come here."

She walked to him and stood between his legs. He encircled her with his arms, but she was tense, and he didn't understand why.

"Did I say something, or do something so terrible in your eyes that is more obnoxious than the clothes I'm wearing?"

Without pushing her away, he stood up. She had to crane her neck to look up at him. He was looking down at her, with that funny multicolored rain hat on his head, oversized frog sunglasses, white zinc oxide covering his nose, a women's sleeveless fuchsia blouse covering his chest, knickers that ended just below his knees displaying a pair of large golf balls, where his testes would be, and argyle socks, in brown, white, and blue. Richard was truly a man among men.

"Richard, please sit down. You look funny without your shoes on."

"Is that the only reason I look funny?"

"Yes dear, after you put your shoes on, you will look stunning."

*******************

Debbie took Holden in a completely different way. She brought him to the discount portion of the store believing again she could outdo her sister. She immediately spied a pair of knee socks in 13 colors. They were truly horrid. To go with them she found a pair of blue short shorts with a diamond pattern going around. The diamonds never met anywhere. I don't know if they were supposed to or not, but they did not meet, and again they were horrid. She was wondering if she could get the tee shirt by her grandparents. It was a flimsy T-shirt with a picture of a tall-leggy blonde, in a bikini, holding her driver in one hand, and bending forward, placing her golf ball on the T. That was fine, until you saw the back of the T-shirt. You saw the leggy blonde from the back, putting the ball on the T. All you could see of her bikini was the string entering the cheeks of her ass at one end and exiting them at the other. It left nothing to the imagination. Debbie knew when her grandparents saw the rear of the T-shirt, they would go ballistic. She would have to make sure Holden kept facing them, until they were on the course, and nothing could be done about it.

The girls joined their grandparents and asked for a charge card to pay for their purchases.

Sam asked, "What did you buy?"

Rebecca said, "The boys couldn't go out on the course dressed in a suit and tie. We bought outfits for them so they could act as caddies for us."

Joan smelled a rat.

"Where are the boys?"

"They are right there, with Steve, and the other agents."

"Would you please ask them to join us for a moment?"

"Sure."

A moment later, both boys were at the checkout counter, and Sam was laughing hysterically. Joan had a problem with the T-shirt, but she thought Richard looked adorable.

Debbie said, "Grandma, it's a cheap T-shirt, which he is going to wear once and throw away. What is the big deal? It's not as if she were alive, and on the course with us."

Holden said, "I wouldn't mind that."

"Exactly how much trouble are you looking for?"

"I'm just trying to get you excited, so Richard can beat the crap out of you tonight."

"Remember who you're hoping to go home with."

He pulled the T-shirt away from his chest and asked, "Her?"

Richard got in the middle quickly, stopping a war before it started.

"You are only carrying my clubs, I am using them. Remember that, and it will serve you well."

"I can add up all the numbers of the clubs, can you?"

Richard asked, "Holden, what's gotten into you? Do you remember what she did to you the last time? You wound up in the hospital, and that was under controlled conditions. Stop it, and act like a gentleman."

"Yes daddy."

"Don't you yes daddy me. Wise up."

"Okay, I'm sorry. I really am sorry Debbie, I acted like an ass."

"Yes, you did, and this time I'll forgive you. The next time I'll set you up on the T, and use a 3 iron on you."

"Finch party, Finch party of four."

"We are here."

"Please advise your security personnel to stay well clear of the fairways."

"Our personnel are well-versed in their duties sir. There will be no problems with your other guests."

"Thank you very much sir. You will be up on the T's in eighteen minutes. Have a wonderful time."

Sam said, "Go ahead boys, and girls."

Debbie grabbed Holden as he began to move towards the door.

"No grandpa, you lead the way. I don't want to see you crying before we get to the first green."

"You're getting 50 yards on this hole, it doesn't seem fair."

"Grandma should we let grandpa play from the lady's tees. It would stop him from crying all day long."

"If you are going to let him play from the lady's tees, I think you should play him even, instead of giving him three strokes per side."

"What do you think grandpa? Do you still need the three strokes if you play from the lady's tees?"

"No, I will play from the lady's tees, and I will play you even."

"Debbie, it's a shame we are not playing him for money. We would be richer then the Saudi mint."

"I'm going to beat you two to a pulp. Okay, we will play for standard household bet. One dollar per hole, one dollar per stroke. Are you in, Joan?"

"You bet your ass I am."

Rebecca said, "Debbie, grandma, I want the first hole."

"That means I get the second hole," Debbie shouted.

"We can half the third hole, if that's okay with you grandma."

"Grandma, are you ready for your first hole in one. This one is right up your alley. A little fade at 140 yards, two bounces, and you are in the hole."

"You three think I am of no consequence on this golf course, don't you? I've played here many times before. I know all its quirks. I've watched Jack play this course. He designed it. It's not as easy as it looks."

"No golf course is as easy as it looks, grandpa. Golf is 90% mental, and 10% physical. Women are smarter than men, and we are going to take you to the cleaners."

"Pride goeth before the fall."

"Yes, it does."

"Finch, party of four. Finch, party of four."

"Here we are. Don't mind him, he came out of the closet yesterday. We are playing from the lady's tees"

"Is there an open grave anywhere on this golf course today?"

"I don't think so, but there are plenty of alligators roaming around the edges."

"Thank you very much, they will do just fine."

"Age before beauty grandpa 289 yards, straight downhill."

"You hit it straight downhill, it will roll down into the right rough. You have to hit it to the left side so it rolls down to the middle."

"Good luck grandpa, and watch that rough on the left side."

Using a three wood, Sam hit the ball down the left side waiting for it to curve back to the right. He started yelling for it to curve but it never did. It landed 225 yards downrange, in the deep rough, 40 feet left of the fairway.

No one laughed out loud because of the look Sam was giving them.

Joan got up with her driver hit her ball down the center of the fairway where it landed 208 yards away, right beside the 210-yard marker.

Rebecca took her three iron and hit her ball down the right side and watched it curve back towards the center of the fairway 215 yards away.

Deborah used her driver, and knocked it 232 yards straight down the middle of the fairway.

As they sat in their cart, Sam said, "Don't say a word."

"Are you going to be a piss poor sport all afternoon?"

"How many years have you known me?"

"Coming up on 58."

"Then what is the answer to that question."

"Samuel, I will have one of the guards take me home if you going to act like this. I want to have a fun afternoon. Those two girls could turn pro and you know it. They are naturals. Their swings are beautiful. You should be proud of yourself because you taught them. Now please, let's have fun. You're only going to lose $270."

"I'm not going to win one hole, am I?"

"Sam, you should know better by now. Unless one of them breaks both arms and one leg, you haven't got a prayer. You also must remember, they're not really trying to win, they are only having fun. Can you imagine if we put them in a tournament, where big money was involved? I shudder to think what they would do to the competition. They would be like Tiger in his early days. Low 60s, and possible 59 and 58 every weekend. People would be having them tested for every kind of medication known to man. I think your balls in there."

"I do to. I think I'll take a wedge and just pop it out into the fairway. I'll take a six iron with me, just in case I got lucky."

"Watch out for alligators and snakes, please."

"It's 10 feet to your right Mr. Finch."

"Thanks Augie."

Sam used his pitching wedge and knocked it 90 yards into the fairway. Joan was away.

She picked out a five iron, planning to leave herself a pitching wedge of 70 or 80 yards to the green. She hit the ball perfectly and it landed just to the right of the sand hazard.

Rebecca decided to try her three iron again to see if she could get it to roll up onto the green. The only hazard was on the left side and if she could clear that she was in good shape.

She reached back and swung as hard as she could and hit the ball cleanly, not even moving a blade of grass. The ball flew true straight towards the green. It hit a sprinkler head and took a huge bounce towards the green. Sam watched it, as it bounced 20 yards short of the green, then on to the apron.

Then he yelled, "Don't you dare."

He stood on the edge of the golf cart as he watched the ball slow and curve towards the pin. Richard was yelling, Debbie was yelling, the agents surrounding the green were yelling as the ball slowed and curved towards the pin and all Sam could yell was, "Don't you dare."

Then there was a roar from the men surrounding the green as the ball hit the pin and fell in for an eagle. Rebecca was dancing. Richard was dancing with her. Then they were dancing together. Debbie ran over to her and began to dance with them both. Holden joined in and the four of them danced around in circles, screaming and yelling.

Sam sat in the cart and pondered why it could never happen to him.

Then there was a scream above all the other screams, and suddenly everything became quiet.

Joan yelled, "Let me see that shirt."

Richard walked towards her without a care in the world.

"Not you Richard, I want to see Holden's shirt."

"You saw my shirt, Mrs. Finch."

"I want to see the reverse side of your shirt."

"I don't think so."

"I want to see that shirt, Holden, and I want to see it now."

"Mrs. Finch, all that is going to happen is you are going to be very upset."

"I want you to take that shirt off and put it back on inside out this minute. Steve?"

"Yes Mrs. Finch?"

"Would you please send someone to the Pro shop and get this young man a decent T-shirt to wear, before I strangle him with the one he has on."

"We took the precaution of buying him one just in case this happened."

"Would you please make the exchange, before I kill my granddaughter."

"How did you know I did it?"

"I know Holden has better taste than that."

"Mrs. Finch, that is one fine looking woman, and any man would be happy to have her on his arm."

"I agree, but she is not supposed to be on the back of the 15-year-old boy."

"I agree."

"Does anyone remember that I just got an eagle?"

Sam said, "So what."

"Just for that remark grandpa, I am going to go all out today and try for a score of 58."

"Sam, you will never know when to keep your mouth shut."

"What would you like to do if you get a 58?"

"Nothing that you can give me grandpa."

"Why, what is it?"

"I would like to leave next month to see my mom. I really miss her, dad too, but I really miss mom."

Richard said, "We can't leave next month, baby. I think we can leave in 10 or 11 weeks, depending on the water. The water is the thing. We can start pumping it in to the spacecraft in three weeks, and advise everyone to be here for liftoff in eight weeks. If there is a delay, it will not be for more than two weeks. My dad left on Christmas Day, we can arrange to depart on July 4 if that is okay with you."

"Please, don't do it for me. Don't do anything that would make the departure date hazardous. It would be stupid to move up our departure and have something go wrong while we are in space."

"Rebecca, the spacecraft is finished. Everything has been checked, rechecked, and rechecked again. It is ready to go. The final touches on the inside is what's happening now. Holden, do you agree on an 8 to 10-week departure date? July 4th, it is just a little more than eight weeks."

"Absolutely, as you say, the thing is the water, and the water is the thing."

"There are a group of golfers behind us waiting. Let's play."

To make Sam more miserable than he was, Debbie took a five iron and landed it 3 feet from the pin.

Sam took a six iron and landed it in the sand trap in front of the green. He was very unhappy.

Joan took her pitching which and landed her ball 10 feet behind the pin for an uphill putt.

Sam used his sand wedge and knocked the ball 12 feet to the left and behind the pin. His putt was perfect, until it got to the cup, where it spun out, and rolled 3 feet away. He did not say nice words.

Joan putted and it went straight into the center of the hole.

Sam did not say nice words.

Debbie lined up her putt from 3 feet away, tapped it lightly and it stopped right on the edge of the cup. Debbie just shook her head.

Sam jumped in the air and shouted, "Yes!"

When he landed, the vibrations were just enough to allow Debbie's ball to fall in.

He fell to his knees and screamed, "NOOOOOO!"

Debbie ran over and kissed her grandfather.

"Thanks for the birdie, grandpa."

"You're welcome, sweetheart," he grumbled.

He went to his ball, lined up his put and was about to hit it when Joan shouted, "Stop, you're going to miss this putt, because you are so angry, you could bend hardened steel. Step back and breathe. We've talked about this before."

"Thank you, dear, you are right, as usual."

A moment later, he addressed the ball, breathe slowly and hit it firmly. It went in the center of the cup. It was an auspicious 6 on the first hole.

Rebecca received her amazing eagle 2. Debbie, her birdie 3. Joan, her par 4, Sam a double bogey 6. It was only the first hole, and Sam already lost $12 dollars, with 17 holes to go.

As predicted, Deborah won the second hole, the third hole was split three ways with three pars, and another double bogey four Sam.

Joan missed her hole in one because the ball bounced off the flagstick and stopped 1 inch away. Debbie's ball bounced off Joan's ball and they nestled right next to one another. Rebecca's ball wound up leaning against the flagstick. They all got birdies on the fourth hole.

Oh, you want to know where Sam's ball is, don't you? Well, they knew it was to the left of the green, where the trees are, and they saw it coming down in the area where the reddish-brown mulch is. They looked for five minutes until Steve spotted it. It was stuck between branches, about 10 feet up in a tree. It was not alone. There were several others up there with it. Sam took the penalty, dropped a ball over his shoulder, took his pitching wedge and chipped it nicely onto the green, about 12 feet from the pin. He three putted from there, for another double bogey.

He did not say nice words.

After four hours of sun and fun for the three ladies, Sam saved his day with a very respectable 78, because he parred every hole on the back nine. Each of the girls beat him as he took the cards after they signed them. Joan 72, Deborah 67, and Rebecca 59. She missed a 3-foot putt on the final hole, failing to reach her goal of 58.

As Rebecca's ball slid by the whole, and before any words could leave his mouth, Joan hit Sam's' ankle with her driver much harder than she intended, but hard enough to get the reaction she wanted.

"What the fuck...?"

"I'm sorry dear, I was taking a practice stroke. I'm up next."

"You've already finished, and what are you going to do, putt with your driver?"

"It's been done."

"I know what you did, woman."

"If you had done it, you would be wearing this around your head."

"Oh, I'll leave it like this."

"You are learning, Sam; with another 100 years, I may get you trained."

"God..."

"If you finish that statement, you will be wearing this just as before."

"I'm not going to win this either way."

"I can be that cruel, Sam. Now say something nice to your granddaughter, while you give her-her well earned money."

Rebecca said many nice words, as she collected his money, and tipped her caddie 50% of it. She also promised him a very warm reception when they retired for the evening.

All he wanted to know was when he could get out of his funny clothes?

"Grandpa, are you going back to the hotel now?"

"Yes, why do you ask?"

"Debbie wants to get her ass kicked, so we are going to go over to the main building to get it taken care of. Afterwards, we may go to a movie, or get into some other kind of trouble; is that all right with you?"

"Thank goodness you two sent Joe home this afternoon. Otherwise, he might have taken you out on the mat and showed you another type of trouble, Rebecca."

With her pointing finger under her chin, and a cute smile on her face, Becky said,

"I'm a good girl, grandpa."

Sam nearly choked. "The way you said that, I could almost believe you."

"Have a good time with Deborah, Richard. Just make sure she is in one piece, when we leave for Atwater Luck."