Dark as Daylight Ch. 19

Chapter 19

77. Brilliance Runs (in the family)

Delicious ran from the science section, down the stairwell, and out of the spacecraft screaming, "I am smarter than my kids! My kids are not smarter than I am. I am smarter than my kids, my kids are not smarter than I am. Thank you God for giving me a husband who has been able to keep me sane, because I am really smarter than my kids!"

Normally when Gray saw her looking at him like that, he ran the other way, but not this time. She was smiling at him, and she just paid him a compliment. So, he figured what did he have to lose; except his life, if he stood still.

Delicious jumped into his arms, and kissed him.

He whispered, "I have already gotten you pregnant. Unless you want me to do, the one thing we've never done before, but you have been talking to Laura about, may I ask what I did that was so special today?"

"It wasn't just today, it was every day. Your love kept me alive long enough to prove that I am smarter than at least four of those twerps of ours."

"In that case, you are welcome. It's been my pleasure, most of the time."

"Gray, don't screw this up for me."

"I promise, I won't."

Truman, Tatum, Lynn and Lane looked up from the project they were working on with indifference.

Calmly, Lane said, "You must 'PROVE IT TO US First', mom."

"Keep up that attitude you insignificant dwarf, and I will leave you attached to the 'Null' when we arrived there."

Lynn said, "Let her be, Lane. Mom's been spending too much time over the reactor core. The neutrinos have finally invaded her brain stem and she's gone buggy."

"Grayson, either you plant those two children of ours in the ground, or I will, and I can promise you, I will plant them deeper."

"My love, can I plant them after I hear what you have to say?"

Gordon said, "I'll dig two of the holes for you, Gray, if this has to do with her 'New Engine'?"

"Dammit Gordon, why do you have to ruin everything for me? Of course, it has to do with my new engine."

"I will plant two of your children, for free, if you let me help you build it."

"How deep?"

"Up to their necks."

"Thank you, that will do nicely. Now I need help, from nearly everyone within the sound of my voice."

Monty said, "We are in deep crap. We are going to be carrying boulders all over the camp so she can show us her design."

"No, you are only going to have to use your feet. If everyone would stand up and follow me into the field."

Including the teenagers, and children, there were 74 people nearby.

Teddy rode up on Daylight to see what was going on.

"Do you need me, mom?"

"Not really, honey, you can watch if you'd like."

"Okay, I'll stay with Daylight, she's pregnant again."

"She's very good at that."

"This will be her last one. I haven't told her yet. I'll tell her after she has the baby."

"I think that's a good idea. Let me continue with my test."

"Okay."

"Monty, since you are a senior captain, you stay here. Brendan, do you want to stay with mommy, or with Teddy, on her horse?"

"Tedddyyy."

Monty said, "Was there ever any doubt about it?

"No, but I had to ask him."

"Here you go big boy, up."

"Don't worry Big Captain, I have him."

"I know you do Teddy."

"Okay, let's start over.

"Gray, walk about 40 feet straight out, stop and turn around."

"I can do that."

"I know you can, because you're my husband, and you are a genius, just like I am."

"I am in trouble, she paid me another compliment."

"Shut up, walk 40 feet, and turn around."

"Yes dear."

Everyone follow my husband, and form a straight line equidistant between Gray and Monty."

It took less than a minute to form this line.

"Now, here comes the hard part. Who is number one in this line?"

Monty smacked Delicious in the back of her head.

"I am."

"Yes, you are. I'm going to move further away, so my next question won't hurt me so much."

"Who is number three

It was Audrey, from the media section.

"I am."

"Very good. Now would each odd number shout out as it works its way down the line. Number one number, three, five, seven, and so forth, until we reach Gray. Please begin.

"1-3-5-7-9-11-13-15-17-19-21-23-25-27-29-31-33-35-37."

"Perfectly done. Number 19 would you please take two steps forward. Number 18 would you take two steps backward and turn around. Now, number 18 take an additional 12 steps away from the line."

"Yes, that's perfect. Even numbers if you would proceed from Monty (A), and Gray (B) to join and number 18(Q).

Tatum yelled out, "Mom this is too simple for words."

"I am humbled by your mathematical prowess. Now try this."

The line that left Monty (A) was at 20° angle, and not a 45° angle, where it would have met (Q) exactly at 500 million miles at some point in space.

Odd Numbers: stay where you are, but straighten your line. This is the 1-billion-mile base line.

Monty is the letter ('A')

Gray is the letter ('B').

Number 19 (C) is the midpoint point of our baseline at 500 million miles."

"Even Numbers: From ('A') turn 65° left and intersect with number 18 or (Q).

Number 20 would you turn and form a line between B and Q.

Okay all you math geniuses; I have a two-part question for you.

1. What is the distance from B to Q?

2. Who is going to get to 'B' first: The Odd or the Even numbers?"

Francine said, "I think this is a trick question."

Her father said, "Smart girl."

Delicious asked, "What is she studying, Stan?"

"Molecular biology."

"Very nice, very, very nice. I am going to need her very soon. Get the whip out."

"Her mother already has it out."

"Okay let's continue. Everybody sees the triangular equation. Now I need six very fast youngsters to form it physically. Girls, boys, age doesn't matter."

Elizabeth screamed, "Newton get back here."

"She said age doesn't matter."

"She said youngsters, didn't she?"

"I'm still young."

"Do you really want to reach 23?"

Zoey said, "And I thought I was evil."

Gordon said as he moved out of the line, "You are dear, you definitely are."

Gordon took off like a rabbit towards Delicious. Zoey was one step behind him, and gaining."

The youngsters didn't have a prayer.

"You wanted me, sis?"

"You two are a hard act to follow. Get back in line."

"When I get my hands around his throat, he will be easy to follow."

"Zoey, he was in stasis for four months, and you were ready to eat the walls. If you killed him, you would walk the plank voluntarily, just as he was ready to do."

"When did you become logical?"

"Ever since I figured out a way go from one end of this universe to the other in less than one year."

Gordon's ears perked up. "One year?"

"You got it, baby brother. We had the answers all the time, but we never knew what questions to ask."

"Isn't that always the way? It was like that day in the auditorium, when I figured out how to go from nuclear fission to nuclear fusion. It was like a lightbulb turned on inside my head, because everyone was throwing questions at me.

Dad said, "Don't ask me, I'm only an engineer."

You yelled, "Do the math, you're only two steps away."

I was so sure you knew the answer, and you were just goading me on. You told me afterwards you had no idea what was happening, but suddenly it was there.

"How did you do it?"

"I'm about to show you. Stay here, and get ready to learn the new math."

Zoey was about to hit Gordon, but Delicious grabbed her arm.

"You, get in the even numbered row, now."

"My day will come, Delicious. I'll see him winding up to hit you, and I won't say a thing."

"Bitch, you never do."

"I don't, do I? I must enjoy seeing you writhing in pain, and laughing."

Delicious shook her head, and walked away.

"Okay everyone, I'm the teacher, and you are my students. Math class is open. Monty is the Beginning of Everything, The Null or as she is known to us, 'The Big Bang'."

Monty shouted, "You bet your ass I am."

Jackson smacked her behind. "There are children here, dear, watch your language."

"Yes dear; I apologize for my language."

Teddy shouted, "Thank you for taking care of that, Mr. Oberlin."

"You're welcome Teddy."

Monty said, "You did that, because you enjoyed it, husband."

"You are right, my dear. There is no finer ass on this ship than yours!"

"If you're trying to make me blush, it's not going to happen, Jackson. Just because you kept losing at cards to Jack, which caused him to have conversations with me about how he should approach"

"I could make you blush, here and now, in front of all our friends my dear, if I wished, without revealing any of our intimate secrets."

Delicious continued, "From Monty(A) to Gray(B) is a distance of 1 billion miles. From 'A' to the halfway point, or 'C' or from 'B' to 'C' is 500 million miles. Now here is your first question. What is the distance from 'A' to 'Q' and 'B' to 'Q'? If you get one right, you get them both right.

Q

/ X A and Q

A to Q / X What is the distance between Q and B?

/ X

Monty (A) 65°) _______________ C ________________ (? __B Gray

< 1 Billion Miles >

Gray immediately raised his hand.

Gordon jabbed Gray in the ribs. "Don't answer this question, or your wife will laugh at you for the rest of your life."

"Why, it's an easy triangle question? Then you use the Pythagorean theorem: A² + B^{2 =} C²."

"That's the right answer, if you could stay on Earth. Can you stay on earth for 1 billion miles?"

"That woman is a Bitch."

"You should know, she's your wife."

"She was your sister first."

"I was too young to warn you about her. My dad did, and you ignored him. You let your little head do your thinking for you."

"I may have, but look what it got me."

"Gorgeous, 6 ½ children later, and she still gorgeous."

"What about me asshole?"

"You are so tiny after all these years, Gray's body blocked yours, and your beauty."

"You're lucky I'm pregnant, again, otherwise I kill you."

"Should I take the spacecraft into the outer reaches of our universe, and step out as I wanted to do years ago? If that would solve your problems, better than your gun. Say the word, and I am gone."

"Okay, you two, this stops now, or I will put you in separate rooms, with bars as doors for one week. Could you do that Zoey? Could you stay away from your husband for that amount of time?"

"I am not the 18-year-old girl that went crazy when he was in stasis. I could take being away from him for one week, even longer if I had to do it."

"I will talk to you two, when this test is over."

Gordon smiled evilly at Zoey. She felt this wrenching fear creeping along her stomach. She knew she had bitten off more than she could chew. It was like driving a car. She knew after the aircraft landed, with its front wheels in the bed of her truck, she was never going to drive again, no matter what. Now, what was she going to do if they took Gordon away from her for seven days? He was the glue that kept her together. When she fractured on the day she shot him, and should have killed him, he was the glue that put her back together. She watched that video at least 100 times, and could not believe he didn't die. How could she have missed from that distance? She thanked God every day that she did. She couldn't live without him. She missed him every time he went on a scouting trip around the planet. She didn't care if he went out with the prettiest women, or if they were all naked while they were away. She knew he was hers, and hers alone. No man would do for her what he did, and then stray to another woman for a day or night of pleasure, and then come back to her. She would know it instantly by the way he looked at her. He would be so guilty about what he did, he would tell her as soon as he walked in the door. To avoid all this, he just would not do it, and every female on the ship knew it.

Delicious asked, "Has everybody had a chance to think about this equation, and formulate an answer to this equation."

Her own children yelled out first.

Truman yelled, "Mom, how do you have the audacity to call this an equation?"

Delicious replied, "I guess it's because I'm just a silly old woman. Can I hear your answer please?"

"It was too simple for Tatum and me to do it. We watched Lynn and Lane do it, and they are correct. We will let them give you the answer."

"I'm sorry I trampled on your great scientific minds. If you're sure my younger children are correct in their answer, you won't be walking 20 miles tomorrow as part of your punishment for your superior attitude."

"Will you walk 20 miles if we are correct, mother?"

"Never let it be said that my children asked me to back up any equation. I knew they would not answer it correctly, so yes, I will walk 20 miles, even though I am five months pregnant, with your brother."

Gray yelled, "I am so sure that my children's answer is incorrect that I will walk the 20 miles with my wife if the answer you give is correct. However, I am also going to walk the 20 miles, with my children, to make sure they do not take any shortcuts."

The adults, who had their hands raised, believing their answers were correct, slowly lowered them. They figured something was fishy, and they didn't want to take a chance on walking 20 miles.

The 18 and under set kept their hands raised.

"Lynn, which of the two of you is going to give me the wrong answer?"

"Neither of us is going to give you the wrong answer, mother. I am going to give you the correct answer."

"I would like you to tell me how you went about getting the right answer, please?"

"What did you think about us, mother? Did you think we forgot sixth grade math? We took your Obtuse triangle and went A² + B² = C^2. We divided..."

Delicious interrupted Lynn and asked the 68 remaining attendees if they all agreed with how Lynn, Lane, Truman, and Tatum started working on her problem?"

Gordon and Gray did not raise their hands. Those over 30 took note of it, and went about the process of re-thinking their decision. Most kept their hands up, but others lowered them, meekly, to their side.

"Gordon take the 13 children, who do not believe Lynn is going about it the correct way, into the spacecraft. Bring them to study hall and have them write out the problem, and how they solve it. Keep an eye on each of them, and if they're going in the wrong direction, don't tell them so, until they are finished. I want to see how their minds work. I will teach how to do it tomorrow, after you take my children for their walk there 30 miles."

"You said 20, mom."

"Are you admitting that your answer is incorrect?"

"If dad and uncle Gordon didn't raise their hands, you tricked us somehow, and we didn't catch it."

"All the information was given to you. How could I possibly have tricked you?"

"In your ordinary, everyday, sneaky, evil way, mom."

"You are the brilliant boys who determined that the Hubble constant was wrong. Are you saying that your lowly mother is brighter than Edwin Hubble, and by that statement, brighter than you?"

"You are brutal, mom. You are just brutal, when you win."

"Do I remember two young men prancing downstairs in front of all my friends and relatives shouting in cadence, "We are smarter than our mother, we are smarter than our mother."

"I seem to remember something like that happening, I take it back. My mother is smarter than we are; all four of us."

Everyone there applauded, and Delicious took a bow.

Gray walked over and kissed her, and announced to everyone assembled:

"Congratulations to the still reigning Queen of Math."

"Thank you, Gray, my dad did it to me again. I was on duty, on the bridge, working on this problem, when my dad instigated Callie to say, "Do you smell wood-burning? My dad replied, 'No, that is just Delicious trying to think. She doesn't do it very often, and when she does, all the cobwebs, spiders, bugs, and other junk in her head must be burned away, before the wheels can start turning properly.

When I first got her, her brain was nearly frozen solid. Within a few hours, I had insulted her enough that her brain started to move like cold molasses. Then I found out that her brain was not in her head, it was in her stomach. I fed her, and she ate everything, but the restaurants table. Apparently, the warmth of the food loosened up her jaws, and she started talking. At the end of dinner, she owed the jar on my kitchen table, more than it cost me for our dinners. The only problem was, I had not told her about that rule yet, so I couldn't enforce it. All she knew was nasty words. I knew I had to get her into a boarding school, or home to Colorado quickly. She was mine for two years, what was I going to do with a girl who had the mouth of a garbage truck?

I had to get her brain working, but she had more junk stored in her head, than any race of people on planet Earth, and so far, every other member of the Nasralvhrnecian Race. Now that she won't talk to me anymore, why should I talk to her? I know what her problem is, and always has been, she's a stuck-up Bitch!"

Delicious yelled, "I am not!"

"Do you see what I mean Callie, she cannot even form a correct sentence."

"Callie, is there any way to turn my father off?"

"Yes, Captain, there is. Have Gordon pull out his chip. He is the only one on board who knows which chip it is. It is not even marked on my computer records, or on the Master Record, both of which are a violation of protocol."

"Since when does my little brother follow protocol?"

"99.89% of the time, Captain."

"I didn't need to hear that."

"Do you see what I mean Callie, she doesn't want to listen, or learn, which means she doesn't want to move forward."

Delicious exploded. "Dad shut up!"

"If that's what you want, that's what you'll get, but you will learn nothing in the process."

For the next three hours, she labored over the same question and came up with nothing. Shift change came and went. When her rotation came back to the bridge, she was still laboring at the same point.

Finally, she gave in. She cried out, "Dad, please help me. I am up against a stone wall, and I don't know which way to go."

"It's because you're thinking like an earthling, which you no longer are."

"OH NO, please don't tell me that the answer to my problem is between my ears."

"What have I always told you. The answers to hard questions are always found in an easy chair."

"The earth is round, but space is flat. Einstein told us that in 1915, and I forgot all about it. All this time wasted, because I was thinking about a circle, instead of a table."

"Only number seven will be as smart as you are; Teddy doesn't count."

"Thanks dad, I have to get back to work now."

You may as well turn the ship now. You have an asteroid coming at you dead ahead, 105,000 miles, 85,000 mph."