Dear John Ch. 05

And so my life with Karen began. She was absolutely the antithesis of Sandy. I already described the physical difference. The differences were that where Sandy would let the housework slide on occasion, Karen kept my home spotless. Sandy was an ok cook but Karen was a whiz in the kitchen. Romantically Sandy was never as eager in bed as Karen was. Karen was, to put it crudely, the...best...fuck... I've ever had. The woman was always eager to try anything and everything after she got over her initial shyness with me. We did try to keep the noise down in consideration of our two teen girls. Sunny brought up the elephant in the room one morning after a particularly loud sexual romp the previous evening.

As she and Cindy were eating their morning cereal she told us to, "Have fun but keep it down in the future. Me and Cindy need our sleep." Karen just turned her head and smiled, her cheeks red. The two teens just giggled.

But as in any relationship, the newness was eventually replaced by a comfortable feeling of contented family life. Our girls quickly started calling the others parent Mom or Dad. Six months after moving in Karen decided to sell her house. "It's just sitting there empty now, and the housing market is up. So why not?"

When Karen told me she was selling her home I decided to make our arrangement permanent. In front of our girls I got down on one knee and asked Karen to make me the luckiest man alive and be my wife. I think I temporarily lost my hearing when three girls squealed "YES!" I also bought each of my lovely teens a ring with their birthstones. I explained that I considered both Cindy and Sunny equally as my daughters.

We married in a small civil ceremony with just a few coworkers and my two lovely daughters present.

We were married for two months when Karen was notified of her ex-husband's death from an accidental heroin overdose. After the funeral Karen surprised me when she gave me a cashiers check for $100,000.

"It's from his life insurance. I still had the policy and he never took me off as beneficiary. Put it with your money you have saved for the girls college fund." She told me. I had not touched the $240,000 that I got from the divorce. I prefered the lifestyle I grew up with and as long as my family was content, so was I.

So to sum up my life, I was content. I had everything I wanted to take myself and my new wife into retirement. I almost never thought of Sandy anymore. Sure I lost fifteen years of my life to her but I was consoled by what she left me. Sunny.

It had been almost three years since that fateful day that I read Sandy's letter when one evening Angela, my attorney, called me at home. She told me to meet Sam again the following day. Same time, same place. I had almost forgotten my promise to Sunny to find her mom. We hadn't brought the subject up recently but I was glad to finally get, hopefully, some closure. I was also curious as to what had happened to my ex-wife.

The bar was smokeless now but still filled with the same rowdy people. I went to the bar and ordered a beer. I only had a chance to swallow my first sip when I sensed her presence. Sam wasn't a big girl but when I looked into her cold blue eyes again, I almost shivered. The woman just gave me the creeps. She said nothing as she led me to the same booth as last time. She handed me a small manila envelope.

"She is still alive and living in a low rent Hollywood apartment. Inside the envelope are two thumb drives. One can be viewed by your daughter but not the other one. She is into some freaky S/M shit that your little girl doesn't need to see. It's pretty intense. I also wrote her name, address and cell number on the back of the card from where she works but I wouldn't advise that you contact her. She has a dom and he is pretty possessive of his girls. If you have to contact her for whatever reason do it when he isn't around. He is gone on business trips for three days every two weeks. Don't ask what his work is because it doesn't matter. She looks fairly happy but I only talked to her once. I had the impression that she would do it differently if she had a do over but she knows that she burned her bridges. Also, even though she gave me her contact info, she told me to ask you not to contact her, ever. She said that she doesn't want you to see what she has become. I did tell her that you had remarried and that you are happy now. She said congratulations and that she wished you well." Sam paused and took a sip of her drink then continued.

"The money came from her past. From high school through college until she met you, she said that she was a very popular high priced call girl. Sometime during this time period is when she met the dom she is with now. She thought she had escaped him when you two married but he found her somehow a year before she left you. She never explained what happened but he must have had some influence with her and these men don't like their women to leave them without permission. My opinion is that he was blackmailing her with the knowledge of her past activities as a call girl but that's just a supposition. He may have had pictures or video also. Who knows. While the money came from prostitution, it's been so long that no one will be checking where it came from so you should be okay to spend it. Do you have any questions?"

I was stunned with this amount of information. Nothing I had ever experienced had prepared me for this. But nothing had prepared me for her leaving the way she had either.

"Only two questions. How did you find her and was she abducted?"

"It was the box that was in her car. In the trunk. That box was a safety deposit box from a bank in Hollywood. How she came to possess it and what was in it, I don't have a clue. Probably a collar of some type. Those people do love their collars. I had to research who had rented it and when. Then I had to cross reference the names with the few people that I had from before you met her. I got a hit and that hit led me to her dom.

I almost didn't recognise her when I first saw her. Her hair is cut butch now and is purple with blonde spikes. She has multiple piercings all around her face and in her tongue. In your thumb drive there is a video where she proudly displays her other piercings, tits, stomach, clit and her pussy lips. She talks with a lisp now because of a slit tongue and because of the tongue piercings. She has had implants and her tits are huge now along with multiple tattoos all over her body. Quite frankly I think she looks grotesque compared to the pic I had of her. As to if she was abducted, she said that she left willingly. Again I got the impression that she would handle it differently if she had it to do over though. Any other questions?"

I couldn't think of anything so I told her I would make arrangements with Angela for her payment. She smiled and said, "It's already been taken care of. Have a nice life with your new wife." she smiled again and left the bar.

I sat in the bar and drank several more beers while I contemplated what to do. Should I open up the hurt again by looking at what was in the thumb drives or just let sleeping dogs lay? Sunny was sixteen now and dating. Her life now was happy and full of love from her family. She was doing great in high school and had a bright future. Both Sunny and Cindy wanted to become a physician's assistant like Karen so their future looked promising. I finally decided to run this by Karen and get her opinion.

I waited for our girls to be away with their end of the year junior class trip to Cedar Point amusement park. They would be gone overnight so I made dinner reservations for Karen and I to relax in peace. We had finished our meal and started desert when Karen opened pandora's box.

"John, since you met with Sam you have been very quiet. Is there anything that you want to share with me? I can tell that something is bothering you. Please let me help if I can."

I looked into the eyes of the beautiful woman that I loved now. We had always shared our problems and Karen had been the one to help Sunny and I when we needed her the most.

"They found her. She is in California. From what Sam told me she is mostly happy with her life. She wishes she had a do over but she knows that she has burned her bridges. She knows that I have remarried but not to whom. She did congratulate us and wished us the best," I finished.

"What is it about this that has you upset John. Do you want to see her again? Reconcile?"

"No nothing like that. I was over her by the time we first made love. You are my world now with our two beautiful girls. It's Sunny. I promised her that I would find her mom if I could. Now that I have, should I tell her? What if she insists that we go to her?"

"John, you said that you were over her. What is the problem with Sunny seeing her mom?"

"She has changed her looks. From what Sam told me she looks grotesque now. She has huge implants, multiple piercings, slit her tongue and tattoos all over her body. It's her body to do what she wants but I want Sunny to remember her mom as the pretty petite soccer mom that she was up until she left. Not the ugly monster that she is now. Sam gave me two thumb drives. Only one of which Sunny should see. The other was only for my eyes because she is into a s/m lifestyle and some of it is pretty intense."

"John do you still have the thumb drives?"

"Yes. But I haven't looked at either of them. I'm afraid to. It's like, if I don't look, she will still be that pretty soccer mom for me also. I know you must think I'm a wimp to feel this way."

"I do not John! Don't ever think that you are a wimp. You are strong and loving. Even though she tore your heart out you want to protect her memory for your lovely daughter. Most men want their children to hate their ex but I have never heard you utter a negative word about her." Karen had a sudden thought. "I might have a compromise. How about if I look at the thumb drives first. I was never that close to Sandy. We were only acquaintances because of the girls. If I don't think Sunny should see her mom, if she looks that bad, then we will put this away and not bring the subject up. But if she ever asks, we won't lie to her. We can prepare her for what she will see but if she wants to know if you found her we can't lie."

I agreed.

That night I gave Karen the envelope containing the contact information and the two thumb drives. One was marked J the other was S. I assumed J for me and S for Sunny. She took the laptop into the girls room and closed the door. Two hours later she went to the kitchen without saying a word. I was watching TV when she sat down wordlessly next to me with her water. She was shaking and had been crying. Her cheeks were streaked from the tears. Finally after a few minutes she announced, "That poor baby should never see what I just saw. I agree with you that Sunny should remember her mom as she was, not what she is now. John I would prefer that you never look at the pictures on either thumb drive also. No one should see her that ever knew her before."

That's how we left it, I buried the envelope in a safe deposit box at my bank.

Our life from that point on was typical Midwestern normal. Both Karen and I had entered our thirties. She was thirty two and I was thirty three. Sunny and Cindy had kept their grades up through High School so they both qualified for partial scholarships at U. of M in Ann Arbor, Michigan. They took most of their classes together and got their Physician's Assistant certifications. Again sharing everything together as the sisters that they had become.

While in college, I am sure that both girls gave up their virginity at some point while dating but I never got that memo. They both dated frequently together and separately I was told.

I was approaching my forties when the next chapter in our family started to play out, a year after Sunny and Cindy both started working for identical twin Doctors that operated a large drug rehab clinic about twenty miles from our home. Apparently it was love at first sight and I knew I would finally lose my two lovely daughters to these men the moment I met them. Both Cindy and Sunny absolutely glowed when they introduced the twin brothers, Ben and Tim Shockley. The brothers treated my girls with respect and I had a feeling at that point that a wedding was in my future. They dated through the winter and the following Valentines Day I was met at my door by an excited Karen. Both girls were engaged and wanted a double wedding in June.

At that point I was relegated to the back of the room and told to just write the checks. Dads you know what I'm talking about here I'm sure.