Depraved

A/N: Hello, all... It's been a while, huh! I'm trying to get back in the swing of things, but thought I would put this up in the interim.

This story is set in Japan, so there may be a few cultural differences (i.e. putting shoes away, the acute feelings of shame, the use of the "-chan" suffix as a term of endearment).

It's also a bit more rough than my other stories, so I advise against reading this if you're not into that sort of thing.

All characters are 18+ years of age.

As always, enjoy!

*~*

I knew something was wrong when I walked through the doors of the school that morning. There were two other girls standing at the shoe lockers. When they saw me they covered their mouths with their hands and began to whisper to each other. I lowered my eyes and let my hair fall into my face, walking up to my locker and pretending as though I couldn't see them. I slipped out of my shoes, the cold from the floor seeping through my socks.

I pulled out the slippers and bent down to place them on the floor, picking up my shoes and standing back up to place them in the small space. As I closed the door, I heard one of the girls call out to me, tentatively.

"Hey, Reiko..."

The girl had glasses perched on the tip of her nose. She had stepped slightly forward, one of her hands clutched to her chest, her eyes wide. The girl behind her was staring at me, her eyes narrowed and judging.

"Is it true?" the first girl asked.

I blinked slowly, my brow furrowing slightly. "Is what... true?"

"What they're saying about you? What you did with Ken?"

I felt the heat rising to my face, and could imagine the splotches of red color blooming on my cheeks. My heart started beating faster, and I felt the breath hitch in my throat - how the hell could they know about that? Ken wouldn't have dared to say anything, would he?

I smiled weakly and answered her, my voice soft and high-pitched. "I... I don't know what you're talking about..."

"Forget it, Kaoru," the other girl said suddenly. "We already know how her kind is. There's no use trying to get the truth out of a whore." She shot me another filthy look, turned on her heel and began walking away briskly. Kaoru glanced hesitantly at me before following the other girl down the hallway.

I stood alone at the shoe lockers, my fingers white from clutching the cold metal, the sharp edge of the door cutting into the palm of my hand. But I couldn't let go. I needed to hold on to it, to keep from reeling from the notion that rumors of what Ken had done to me were now spreading throughout the entire school.

It's not like it was even my choice, my decision. I wasn't even thinking about it. I was just excited to be spending time with him, happy to know that after so many months of pining over him from afar that he had finally returned my affections. It was the most painful thing, the day I decided to confess to him. I managed to catch him alone just after classes had ended. I was red in the face, and I could barely breathe, but I had had enough of these emotions, welling up inside of me for too long, and I was afraid that if I didn't tell him that I would burst.

Suki da yo, Ken. I really like you.

And amazingly he smiled at me, asked me if he could walk me home and if I would like to stop for dessert on the way.

I couldn't smile wide enough to show how happy I felt.

And so we spent the next few weeks together; Ken would walk me home, and sometimes we would go to a café to get something sweet to eat. Eventually he started to invite me out at night, and we would go to restaurants and walk around the city until it was time for him to walk me home.

He kissed me on the mouth one night, and my eyes flew wide in surprise. I had never been kissed before, but what I was more surprised about was the small jolt I felt shooting to that space between my legs. I had felt it before, but never as strongly as I did then. And I wanted to feel it again. So I kissed him back.

That night I lay in my bed, lazily running my fingers over my lips, imagining Ken kissing me again, and every time the scene replayed itself in my mind's eye I would feel the little shock lighting me up.

And so Ken would kiss me. Never in public, never when other people were around. That was not acceptable. He would kiss me in the hallway between classes, or on the empty streets in the middle of the night, or outside my house when he had walked me home. And I would kiss back, tentatively, because I knew I wasn't supposed to enjoy this, but I couldn't help but yearn for that feeling of desire that shot through me.

Ken seemed to pick up on this soon enough, and that's when things started to go bad. One night we were walking along the streets of the city, taking the long way so I wouldn't have to go home so early. Ken had been acting strangely that day, touching me more than usual, and something dark and predatory had come over his eyes. I wasn't sure what to do, so I didn't say anything, and tried not to upset him. At one point I noticed that he wasn't walking beside me anymore, and I turned to see that he had stopped a few feet back, his face downturned.

"Ken...?"

I called out to him tentatively, my small voice carrying in the silent night. When he didn't respond, I walked back towards him and reached out slowly, my small hand touching his arm. Suddenly he looked up at me, a small smile on his face.

"I'm alright, don't worry," he said, and I smiled back in relief. I closed my eyes, expecting a kiss, and melted into him as I felt his lips touch mine.

Then I was moving backwards, one foot stepping behind the other as Ken placed his hands on my arms and pushed me slowly to the side of the road. I felt my back hit up against something, felt the cold hard cement scratching me through my uniform, but I tried to ignore it and focus on the pleasant sensation traveling down my body and settling between my legs. Only the kiss wasn't as pleasant as I'd remembered - this time it seemed rushed, forced. Suddenly I felt Ken thrust his tongue sharply into my mouth, and my eyes flew open in surprise. I saw that both of his arms were raised on either side of my head, his hands placed on the wall behind me. I brought my hands to his chest and pushed softly, trying to get him to move back, but he wouldn't budge - instead, he thrust forward aggressively, effectively pinning me in front of him. My heart rate spiked when I felt something hard pressing against my stomach.

I managed to break the kiss, turning my head to the side so he could no longer reach my lips.

"Stop it, Ken!" I managed to say.

He lowered his arms and stepped back, panting heavily. My eyes glanced down and I saw something that made my heart jump again - a bulge at the front of his jeans, straining against his pants.

I felt the heat rise to my face, and I lowered my head so I wouldn't have to look at him. We stood there in silence for a long while, until I heard him say, "Come on," and he turned and started walking away. Slowly I pushed myself off of the wall and followed him, my head still bent.

As we walked I became aware of a very unpleasant sensation underneath my skirt; my panties were wet and cold. Ken was walking a few feet in front of me. He hadn't said a word and hadn't looked back to make sure I was still following him. Sure that I wouldn't be caught, I timidly reached behind me and lifted up my skirt, slipping a finger past the elastic band of my panties.

I gasped and quickly withdrew my hand, clutching it to my chest. It was hot and wet, the heat seemingly trapped within the fabric of my panties. I felt that same jolt of desire shoot through me, just as it had when Ken would kiss me.

As I walked along silently behind him, I tried to understand what this meant. I had heard other girls talking in the locker room about how you would get wet when you were aroused. That meant that whatever was going on at the time, you liked it. But I didn't like it when Ken forced himself on me like that. Did I?

When we finally reached my house he continued walking past the building without a word. I watched him go silently, not knowing what to say.

That night as I lay in my bed I couldn't help but relive that incident - the way he trapped me against the wall, the way he thrust his tongue in my mouth, the feeling of him against my belly... And yet, I couldn't stop the throbbing feeling that started between my legs. After resisting as long as I could I took my hand and slowly ran it down my body, my fingers shaking as I went, until they slipped beneath my panties. My hand was enveloped in the warmth, and I cupped myself with my palm, the wet liquid getting on to my fingers. I lay with my hand there for a moment, my heart racing, until instinctively I squeezed my legs together and the most intense throb of pleasure shot through me.

I withdrew my hand as though I'd been burned and curled up into my side, a flood of shame and disgust washing over me, angry at myself for not hating what he did, shamed at what I was really feeling, scared of this wetness between my legs, at the thought that I might have liked it.

Ken didn't speak to me the next day at school, and I was kind of glad. I don't think I could have spoken to him anyway. He avoided my gaze the entire day, his eyes never once catching mine even though we were in the same space for hours. Once the final bell rang, I gathered up my things and left for home alone, for the first time in weeks.

Later that night I was sitting in my room, studying for an exam, when I heard my phone vibrate. I picked it up and saw Ken's name blinking on the LCD screen. I flipped open the phone and opened the message.

need to talk to u. can u meet at park in 15 min? K

I stared at the message for a moment. I wasn't sure if I wanted to see him. I was still ashamed at myself for what I felt; even more now because the feeling hadn't died down, because every time I thought of what happened I would get that good feeling between my legs, and my panties would get wet and no matter how hard I tried to push it out of my mind I couldn't stop my body from reacting.

But I couldn't just ignore him; perhaps he wanted to apologize for what he did. I got up, put on a sweater and walked downstairs, slipping into my shoes before I left the house.

Ken was sitting on a bench near the entrance to the park as I arrived. When he saw me he got up and walked quickly towards me, stopping just a few feet away. My own footsteps slowed to a stop, and we both stood there, neither of us saying anything. Then he moved again, closing the distance between us, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into him.

"Reiko... I'm so sorry for what I did... gomen, ne? I didn't mean to..."

He stepped back, his hands still on my shoulders, holding me away at arm's length. I peered up at him timidly. His brow was furrowed and he looked at me concerned.

"Did I hurt you, Rei-chan? I'm so sorry for what I did..."

I took a deep breath, looking up at him, and my voice was small when I spoke. "No, it's alright... you didn't hurt me." A relieved smile broke out over his face, and he sighed in relief. I smiled back at him as well, and continued, "In fact... I actually kind of liked it."

I immediately regretted saying it, but it was too late to take the words back. I saw the light die in his eyes, and his jaw flexed as he stared at me. I felt the smile slide off of my face, and I merely stared back at him, not sure what to say.

He let go of my shoulders and stepped back, the grin returning to his face, but it didn't reach his eyes. "You liked it, huh? I'm glad that I didn't hurt you."

He turned and started walking into the park. I wasn't sure what to do - he hadn't told me to follow him - but I wasn't sure what he meant by what he said, so I walked after him into the park.

I walked quickly to catch up to him and then I fell into step beside him. He glanced over at me, another grim smile flashing across his face, before he reached out and grasped my hand. His hand was warm and soft, but he gripped my fingers tighter than usual, almost crushing them in his palm. Again, unsure of what to do, I didn't say anything. We walked along the edge of the park, following the wall enclosed the space.

"You know," I heard him say, "most girls don't like it when I do that to them." I looked over at him curiously, frowning slightly, not sure of what he meant. He stayed facing forward, and continued to speak without looking at me. "They push me away, or they step on my feet, or they bring their knee up between my legs. Sometimes they even slap me afterwards. 'How dare you do that,' they say. 'I didn't give you permission to do that.'" He stopped walking, his hand still clutching mine, and turned to look at me. The predatory darkness was back in his eyes. A lump had risen in my throat, and I couldn't say anything, so I just looked back at him.

"But you, Rei-chan..." He pushed me backwards, and I began to feel a horrible sense of déjà vu, but I was too scared to do anything. I felt my back hit the wall that surrounded the park, and Ken again raised his arms, effectively trapping me in front of him.

"I'm glad you're not like them."

And with that, his mouth was back on mine.

My heart rate spiked again in my chest; my eyes were wide and darting around frantically. I raised my hands and tried to push him off of me, but he took both of my small wrists in one of his hands and pushed my arms up above my head, pinning them to the wall behind me, the rough brick scratching my delicate skin. His mouth was still moving against mine, even though I'd pressed my lips firmly together. He placed each of his legs on either side of me, pressing himself fully against my body, and I could feel his erection pushing into my stomach again - as well as that unwanted jolt of pleasure shooting through me.

He broke the kiss and pulled back slightly. "I'm so glad you liked it, Rei-chan. Do you know how long it's been since I've been with a girl?" His hands were fumbling with the buttons on my shirt, popping them open one by one, pushing the fabric aside to reveal my plain white bra.

"No... Ken stop, please... I don't—"

"Don't what?" he growled, and I jumped at the harsh tone of his voice. "Don't tell me you don't like it? You said you did after all, didn't you? Besides, I can see your hard little nipples poking through your bra."

I whimpered as his hand grabbed my bra and pushed it up roughly, revealing my small breasts and the tiny, hard nubs that stuck out from them. I heard Ken's sharp intake of breath as he laid his eyes on them, and then I felt him grab one in his large hand.

He pulled at it roughly, squeezing my flesh and pinching my nipples hard between his fingers. I tried hard not to make any sound, but I couldn't help the small whimpers that continued to escape my throat. Perhaps if it weren't for the wetness slowly building between my legs I could fool myself into thinking that they were whimpers of pain; and maybe some of them were. But too many were sounds of pleasure, rushed out of my mouth with each twist of his fingers, at the delicious pleasure he was giving me.

Then I felt his hand on top of my head and he was pushing me down, my body sliding along the wall until I was sitting on the hard ground, my legs splayed out in front of me, bra pushed up and tits exposed. In front of me, Ken's right hand was fumbling with the front of his jeans, the left still clasping my wrists above my head. I heard the sound of a zipper and I looked up to see him reaching into the front of his pants. When he removed his hand I could see the tip sticking out from between his closed fist.

A few seconds passed, with Ken standing there, holding it, breathing heavily; me sitting on the ground, my own breath coming in short, quick, inaudible bursts.

"Well, come on, then," I heard him say. I couldn't move, couldn't say anything, so I shook my head no.

"Huh?" he growled. "What are you shaking your head for? You said you like this, right? Come on, quit messing around and stick out your tongue." I continued to jerk my head side to side, my eyes squeezed shut. I felt him move closer and his hand returned to my head, grabbing my hair and pulling my face towards him.

"I told you to stick out your tongue. Do I need to bash your head into this wall to make you understand?" My eyes flew open in terror. He shook my head for emphasis, then let go and roughly grabbed my chin, forcing my head up. He squeezed my cheeks together and repeated, "Stick out your tongue."

Slowly, I let my tongue slide out of my mouth, the very tip sticking out from between my lips. Ken thrust his hips forwards and I felt the tip touch my tongue. I whimpered again - at the sudden salty taste that ignited my taste buds, and at another wave of desire that rolled through my body.

I heard him sigh contentedly as he began to rub himself over the tip of my tongue. Something salty and sticky was leaking out of it. He was thrusting slightly, pushing onto my tongue with each move of his hips.

"Ah, see? You like this, don't you, Rei-chan? You like the feeling of my cock on your tongue, don't you?" Another pulse went through me as he said cock - I had heard that word before, but I'd never heard someone say it to me like that. I tried to tell myself that I didn't like it, but I couldn't deny the wetness that was growing under my skirt. I brought my legs together, squeezing my thighs tightly, trying to quell the dull throbbing that had begun between them.

"Open your mouth," he commanded.

And I did it without thinking. After I had done it a pang of shame went through me, but it was almost immediately silenced by the shudders that rippled through me as he pushed his... cock... past my parted lips.

"That feels so good, Rei-chan... your mouth is so small... so soft and wet... so warm..."

And he began thrusting himself over my tongue, the hard, swollen flesh filling my mouth. It was slick with my saliva and the salty liquid that was still dripping out of the tip, sliding down my throat. I wanted so badly to keep my tongue still in my mouth. I wanted to prove to myself that I didn't like this. How could I like being assaulted like this? How could I like someone shoving their -cock - into my mouth, even though I told them not to, begged them to stop?

But I did like it. I couldn't keep my tongue still; though I wasn't moving it much, I swiped it back and forth underneath him, savouring the taste of his flesh. The thoughts would rise in the back of my mind, telling me to be ashamed, telling me to cry out in anguish, not helped in the least by the mutters that would escape from Ken's mouth, Slut, whore, god, you're so filthy, Rei-chan, you seemed like such a pure girl, I should have known..., but any concern seemed to get knocked from my head with each pounding of his cock against the back of my throat.

He seemed to be in a frenzy now. He was pushing his full length into my mouth, the curled hairs on his crotch tickling my nose, the musky scent of his arousal mixed with sweat filling my nostrils. Spit was running down my chin, mixed with the salty fluids that were seeping from his throbbing flesh, leaking out as he slid across my tongue. My head was pushed against the wall, the hard rock digging into the back of my skull, scraping my skin as Ken thrust his hips into my face with abandon; but even the pain on my scalp couldn't dull the pleasure of what was happening, of being used like this. The desire that had grown inside of me was painful, and I longed for him to let go of my hands, even just one of them, so I could slip it under my skirt and touch myself like I did back at home in my bed.

I heard his breathing deepen, and a low groan started deep in his throat. His thrusts became more erratic, his cock jerking over my tongue. Then he pushed himself as far into my mouth as he could, bucking his hips against my face. I felt his cock pulse, and then a shot of thick, bitter fluid spilled onto my tongue. I tried to let it slide down my throat, but he was still throbbing, still releasing the salty liquid into my mouth, and I started choking trying to swallow it all.