Dilemmas of Love

With her energy restored she excused herself from Emma's and Abigail's company and made her way to her basement. Her first order of business, to phone Sandra. She had to make things right with her too. The girl had shown real feelings and had written and tried to speak many times to Chloe when she was in Greece but the brunette had been rather lazy in her replying and hadn't really been forthright with what was going on between her and Lydia. In fact, now that she thought of it "forthright" was the worst possible choice of words; she'd outright been a bitch. She had lied to everyone and now she had to apologize.

Speed dialing her number she waited for the phone to pick up.

"Chloe?"

"Hello Sandra...ummmm...can I...can I talk to you for a bit?

"Well now...if it isn't Cloe! The prodigal daughter returns!"

"Okay...I guess I deserved that. Look...I...ummmm...I have a few things to tell you but I'd prefer if we did that in person. Could we do that?"

"Uhhh...you know...I don't know what to say...you've got some nerve to show up now...you could have written back you know instead of sending back single-sentence answers...you could have found some time to chat with me! And anyways...I've got a girlfriend now so I don't know what good it would do if we were to meet."

"Sandra I know. Abigail's told me and I hope she gives you all the love that you deserve and all the love that I was incapable of giving you. I'd like to meet to offer you an apology. You were tremendously generous and kind with me and I behaved like a first class bitch. I wouldn't want there to be hard feelings between us. Can I have a chance to make things right again in person?"

"Oh...okay...I guess so, yes. When?"

"Whenever it suits you."

"The sooner the better. How about in an hour from now? At the usual training spot?"

"I'll be there! Thank you so much for doing this!"

Okay, that was hurdle number one. Now comes the difficult part.

The brunette fired her laptop and begun to compose an e-mail to Lydia. After writing and erasing several versions she finally opted for something direct and simple, only a few lines long. She was either going to succeed in this or fail spectacularly. But it was worth a shot. It was her mess and she had to clear it up.

After pressing the send button, she realized that the time had passed. She would be late for her meeting with Sandra! Quickly, she threw on a pair of leggings and the first blouse that she could get her hands on and shot through the front door like an arrow. Running at full tilt she managed to be just a couple of minutes late. Supporting her hands on her knees she panted profusely, desperately trying to catch her breath while the blonde looked on with amusement.

"Huff...sorry...I'm...late..."

"It's okay, you're not really late, I was just barely here myself."

"Okay...okay...wooooh...that was some work out there...anyways...shall we take a walk? I've got some explaining to do."

"Okay...lead on."

The two of them walked side by side. The brunette started talking and explaining feelings and events as they had unfolded that summer. She was so immersed in her chat with Sandra that, without really thinking, the path that they were onto led them straight towards the university campus. To be precise, it led them very near the social sciences department which was Emma's and Chloe's old playground.

Chapter 18 (Lydia)

Lydia was in the process of stowing away her laptop after a grueling three-hour course on deterrence theory when her mobile beeped informing her that she had an incoming e-mail. Slinging her bag on her back she made her way towards the building's exit as she absentmindedly fiddled with her mobile.

Checking her inbox, she immediately froze in her tracks. An e-mail from Chloe! It was untitled. The mere sight of that e-mail was enough for her memory to jog back all those painful moments that had taken her so long to suppress. Should she read it? She stood there in the middle of the hallway with people passing back and forth unsure about what to do with that e-mail. Her finger hovered above the recycle bin button before her heart finally gave in. She touched the newly arrived mail and it immediately popped up on her screen.

Dear Lydia,

I know that I've been terrible to you. You poured your heart to me and I trampled your feelings. My behavior towards you was inexcusable in every possible way. I know I've hurt you and I would like to have the chance to make things right again. I know I don't deserve this and despite how painful it would be I'd understand if you don't wish to see me again.

With Love,

Chloe

Lydia felt the dampness on her cheeks. There were tears again. That had a tendency to happen often lately, she thought. Her mind kept screaming at her, commanding her fingers to press the delete button and move on with her life. Ever since that fateful afternoon were Chloe had broken her, she tried so hard to even the keel of her heart. And just when she thought she was in control, all it took was the slightest of memories to bring those feelings rushing back. Her heart kept repeating the phrase "...to have a chance to make things right again."

God...does she really mean that?

Her feet started mechanically walking again on their own volition it would seem. The rays of the autumn sun blinding her managed to realign her brain; she was now out of the building. Looking up she could see...She blinked several times in disbelief. On the opposite sidewalk there was Chloe. But she wasn't alone, she was embracing a lean blonde girl.

She felt everything stop and her sense of hearing begun dimming. The brunette had begun to disengage from the embrace of the other girl and was turning towards her. Then, she spotted her and the smile on her face froze. She distinctly heard her name being shouted. She ran away.

"Lydia wait..."

Her legs opened up their pace. Her book bag was hindering her movements. She remembers tossing it away at some point.

"LYDIA PLEASE...I LOVE YOU!"

Her legs ceased their function abruptly. Dizziness took over her head and she felt her vision blurring. When was the last time she had eaten properly? Her knees gave and her body collapsed on the lawn next to the sidewalk.

She felt cold water being splashed on her face. She could faintly hear her name being repeatedly mentioned. And then her eyelids opened. It was still nice and sunny outside. And what was that? A face...a brunette...It was Chloe...She had to get up...get away...

"Are you alright?"

"Leave me be...please..."

"Lydia wait...I want to talk to you...just for two minutes...and then you can send me to hell if that's what you want."

Unsteadily, the raven haired girl turned towards the brunette.

"Lydia, I'm sorry. I cannot begin to tell you with words how sorry I am for what I did to you. I treated you like shit. I was terrible. Please forgive me..."

"You shouted something at me before I passed out...Do you mean it?"

"YES...God YES...I love you...with all my heart!"

"But saw you hug that other girl..."

"I...that...that was Sandra...she was my...the sort-of-girlfriend I had mentioned about...she has a new girlfriend now...we had just smoothed things through...I was apologizing to her...we were hugging as friends..."

Lydia stood there, her face like an overcast sky. Until a small crack in the clouds let the first rays of sunshine pass through. A weak smile made its appearance on her face.

"Please say it again..."

The brunette was instantly bear-hugging her, tears on her face now. "I love you Lydia...with all my heart, I love you!"

Epilogue

"Is my hair okay? What about my make-up? Are you sure it hasn't run off? And where is she? Why isn't she here yet?"

"Emma! She's already there! Just...R E L A X! Everything is just fine! Just...breathe...okay?"

The door to the white limo opened abruptly. Chloe and Lydia were the first to spill out soon followed by Emma and her father. The redhead looked absolutely dazzling in her white wedding gown. Whilst her father took her arm, Chloe, as the maid of honor, made sure the tails of her dress were properly evened out.

As they neared the entrance to the church, Abigail, clad in a matching black gown stood nervously, waiting at the top of the steps. Right next to her where Sandra and April who it seemed where trying just as much to calm the blonde's jittery nerves.

As Emma was approaching, Chloe gave Lydia a loving look and quickly pressed her palms over her heart.

Around them, the numerous guests of the wedding warmly applauded. The most touching moment was when Emma's father took her hand and gave it to Abigail saying: "take good care of her". That brought a tear to Lydia's eyes. Would she one day be blessed with such a joyous moment?

Once inside the church the procession followed the usual ritual except that Lydia noticed Chloe being unusually nervous. She silently asked her with her eyes if everything was okay but she couldn't get a read. Everyone broke into wide applause when the reverend said to Abigail "you may kiss the bride."

Lydia heartily clapped on for the happy couple who, over the past few months, had rapidly become more than just her best friends. And then, out of the corner of her eyes she noticed Chloe. What was she doing?

She...Oh my GOD!

"Lydia, will you marry me?"

She brought her hands up to her face. She could feel the tears streaking down her face almost certainly ruining her make-up. She felt her heart soaring up to the sky with happiness. Around her Abigail and Emma, Sandra and April where clapping and hooting.

"Oh my God, yes! YES!"

Chapter 14 Notes

1. «Καλώς τα κορίτσια τα όμορφα!» First sentence in the dialogue: this is meant as an endearment in Greek and it shows affection but in a non-romantic way. The tavern owner is showing traditional hospitality by addressing them this way. The translation offered there is the closest I could come up with.

2. «Γειά σου κυρ' Γιάννη» Second Sentence: (literally) to your good health or, (I wish for) your good health. «Κυρ'» is short for «κύριος» which means "sir" but in its use here isn't as formal as it sounds in English. The choice of words shows respect and affection when speaking to an older person. This is very difficult to translate properly.

3. Third Sentence: «Ηδωνικό» is a brand of superior quality Tsipouro. Tsipouro is a traditional Greek heavy spirit (40%-45% alcoholic volume) made out of grape residue. Tsipouro is almost always consumed when in company and never without good quality appetizers or sea food to go with it.

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Post Script - Author Q & A

I would like to thank you, my reader for the time you took to reach this far. I hope that you've enjoyed yourself as much as I've enjoyed writing this. And now...for some questions to the author!

Why do you, as a male, write lesbian fiction?

That is a very good question actually. The short answer would be because I genuinely enjoy a good romance and the two genres which provide for the best romance reads are either first time stories or lesbian romance.

Yes, but why lesbian romance and not, for example, write something for male to male relationships?

I don't really know. I might try my hand in gay fiction next, I'm not ruling anything out. Perhaps it's easier for me to write lesbian fiction because I personally am fascinated with females. I consider them to be beautiful, mysterious, sensual and complex creatures. It's really fitting that they are rightly considered as the salt and pepper of our lives.

Writing is fine and all but what would you do if, for instance, your daughter came to you one day and said "dad, I have a girlfriend" or dad "I'm gay".

Either son or daughter they are, first and foremost my children. I would embrace them and ask them to be happy with their partners and proud about who they choose to be. I would only advise them to fill their lives with love. Life is way too short and lonely to live without it.

Tell us a few things about your writing process and what made you want to write such stories.

As you know English isn't my mother tongue but through my life's experiences I've been surrounded by it. I have a strange affinity with it. It is mentally relaxing for me to write in English and the text comes easily and naturally. As for my writing process, I usually create the skeleton, so to speak, of my story beforehand as well as short descriptions of the main characters. I also use random photographs which I assign to the said characters. It helps to have some visual reference when you're describing a love scene for instance. For all the rest, it's either research on my part (for locations described for instance) or pure fantasy. And, as I've said before, I enjoy good long romances with well-defined characters and a decent plot. So I try my best to create what I myself would enjoy reading.

One final question. How does it feel to write such a long story mentally?

The most fitting analogy in my mind would be running a marathon or other long distance run. You start out all psyched and pumped up and then you come to the point which I dub as "the no end in sight" point. That's around the middle of text or the middle of your run by comparison. Your whole body is screaming at you "stop what you are doing now!" It's a mental game really. You have to push yourself to continue. And then when you're on your final mile, or your final chapters, you forget everything and dash to the finish line. Your rewards come in many different shapes and sizes. Primarily you're happy that you've made it. Also very important, for both the runner and the writer, is the bystander's or the fan's applause. It makes you forget about all the pain and toil and want to try again and again.

When can we expect your next text?

Mentally, I need a break. I can't really say when I'll be writing my next story but I'm sure that sometime in the feature I will. Do bear in mind that such big items need about a year to complete.