Dina Might with a Laser Beam

Dina, more than just a little tipsy, ended that seemingly endless awkward moment by bounding out of the car, running up to me in a very familiar manner, and giving a huge tight hug, wrapping her arms around her neck, and kissing me on the side of my head. "Hii," she said, affectionately. "I didn't want Laura to drive all the way out to my house. I told her you'd be glad to." I noticed Laura had a puzzled look at the way Dina was interacting with me. I decided to try the 'harmless old man' approach, to deflect her suspicions.

"What about your car?"

"What car?" Dina said, and burst out laughing. I tried to look old and responsible, to make Laura less suspicious.

I came up with an idea. I looked at Laura. "Hey, Laura, O'Malley's is so close, do you mind taking us back, so I can get her car?" Then a stroke of genius to look even more like a harmless old man. "Then also, we'll follow you to your house, make sure you get home OK." I half knew that Laura didn't live too far away.

Laura was a good friend and human being. She agreed happily, and we all got back in her car and back to O'Malley's. "Isn't my brother-in-law.. Excuse me, my ex-brother-in-law the best?" Dina kept asking, to which Laura patiently nodded and agreed with her tipsy best friend. I had heard stories that Laura had a wild side to her too, but she took her role as designated driver seriously.

I got Dina's car, and followed Laura from O'Malley's to her house. Dina had decided to stay in the car with Laura for that leg of the trip. "OK, let me walk up with you. Then flash your porch light three times to tell me everything's good?"

"You're a good man, Jack, but let me walk up alone, you probably shouldn't leave HER unattended," she smiled, and beckoned toward Dina, who was dancing inside the car.

"Hm. Good point," and just as I said that, Dina honked the horn. Twice. At about 2:30 a.m.

We both chuckled, but knew I needed to avoid a third honk. "Ok. Thanks so much for everything Laura, I wouldn't have been able to sleep knowing her car would be parked there overnight."

"Well, I'm not sure you're going to get much sleep anyway," she said, sounding a bit as if she suspected something. I realized even more deflection was necessary.

"Yeah, it'll be a 45-minute drive to get her home and 45 minutes back. I'm fine though, I had gone to bed early." I was almost annoyed. I was defending myself against an implication that wasn't entirely accurate. Sure, I was spending hours at a time getting rid of my ex-sister-in-law's pubic hair. Looking at her naked. Smelling her. Feeling her up. But no sex.

It seemed to work. Laura said, "Ok, be safe." She walked up to her front porch, I saw a light go on inside, then three flashes of her porch light. All was well.

::::::::

"I don't know why I never thought of this before. I'm totally fixing you two up! While we were in the car, she kept talking about you, and couldn't believe you were such a hottie. She thinks you're a hottie," Dina told me.

"Well, funny story. She works on the 4th floor. I see her in the elevator lobby occasionally, I've noticed her for sure. It was a surprise, to realize that she's the Laura you talk about." I knew to act interested, but not TOO interested. I did get to see Dina naked and spread open wide all the time. I certainly didn't want to jeopardize that.

"That's IT. You're calling her tomorrow. Let me send you her number." She tapped a few keys, and I felt my phone buzz. So now I had hot Laura from the 4th floor's number!

I turned toward the highway, when Dina shouted, "Wait, wait, wait. Where are you going?"

"Oh, I thought I was driving you home."

"Hell no. I want more laser hair removal. No, wait. I DEMAND more laser hair removal. Time is running out, you know."

I wasn't about to disagree with that. More of Dina, naked and spread open. Plus, a little drunk. Her ass, pussy, legs, and underarms all needing a thorough inspection and follow-up laser treatment. I turned around, and in just a few minutes we were in my driveway. It was just a short walk to the front door.

"Let's doo thisss" Dina said playfully, trotting sexily to the front door, but unbuttoning her blouse as she went. Still in the front yard. Then she started running and prancing, showing off a little of the ballerina in her past toward the door. She got there before me, and by the time I caught up, she had her blouse off and was undoing the button of her jeans. I was torn, part of me wanted to stop her because we were still out in the open, but part of me thought to myself that my neighbors never spoke to me anyway, and wouldn't know any of it was scandalous. Nonetheless, I got my keys out quickly to open the front door, just as Dina finished stepping out of her jeans, tossing them aside. Then her yellow thong, which went even further as the threw it. Then she unhooked her bra and dropped it in place, making her completely naked as she strode into the house. I picked up her blouse, jeans, and bra, but the thong had gone behind my beloved Ficus plant, and I realized needed to keep an eye on her. My devious side also thought if I 'forgot it', and she forgot it whenever it became time to go home, I'd have her thong to play with.

"Ohh kayyy," she said with a flourish, and ran to the sofa. "Beam my pubes out, Scotty!" She joked. I was glad that even having grown up as a wild child, she still had a wee bit of a nerdy streak in her. A hot naked woman who knew Star Trek terms. "But I need an inspection first. You don't mind, do you, inspecting me?" Clearly, I didn't.

Trying to look like a good boy, I stopped at the breakfast table and got out two gloves. But when I reached the sofa, she sat up, reached forward, took the gloves out of my hand. Then she pulled hard on the fingertips of each glove, also using her nails to poke starter holes in them. Then she dramatically ripped them to pieces and threw them off to the side. "No gloves. I never want to see gloves again! If I can't shower because you want to smell my ass, then you can't wear gloves. That way at least I can feel a man's hands on me. It's only fair," she said, sounding stern. Then she lay back, her legs wide open, giving me a full view of her pussy. Then, she reached even further down with her hands, and pulled her ass cheeks apart, and made as if she were speaking with her ass cheeks. "No. More. Hairs!" She exclaimed. We both burst out laughing.

I had to get back up and roll the laser machine over to the couch. As I started to reach over the side, to plug it in, Dina started talking. "Do you like getting to see me naked?" She asked. I nodded.

"I guess I'm a bit of an exhibitionist. I like being naked. I like showing off and being looked at. Especially by you. And especially showing my entire wide-open pussy to you. Did you know that?"

"I'm glad," I said. Except instead of saying it in a voice, I realized that my mouth was full of saliva in the back of my throat. It came out like my voice was being electronically scrambled. I had to swallow before continuing. "I didn't know."

"Yeah. I love how it feels knowing you're looking at me. Looking at my pussy."

"Oh, really?" I was conflicted. I was hard already. She was stunningly beautiful. But drunk. I wasn't sure what was going on, but she was drunk enough, I sadly knew that even if she told me to pull out my dick and fuck her then and there, that I shouldn't.

"Yes! Jesus Christ!" After a pause, she seemed as if she knew she had snapped at me. Her tone changed to a kidding around one. "How fuckin' stupid are you?" Then she paused again, this time in a softer voice. "But I appreciate it. I like knowing someone likes looking at me."

"God yes," I said.

"There's something else," she said playfully. "Did you know I can do THIS?" And she did an absolute 180-degree split, her legs going straight out to her left and to her right. "What do you think of that?"

"Hmm," I said, pretending I wasn't impressed. "Can you do one ankle behind your head, and the other leg straight out? Now that," with a pause for dramatic effect, "would be impressive."

"Oh come on, give me something hard to do," she said, not intentionally being dirty, but laughing once she realized the double entendre. "That's so easy." She did have to use her hand to pull her ankle behind her neck. But she did it.

"So, it's not just seeing me naked. It's me opening my pussy for you to stare at it. Do you like looking?"

"Not like. Love!" And for the first time, at least face to face, I felt like I had implicit permission to stare without pretending not to stare."

"What do you like more, my pussy or my ass?" She asked. "Sometimes, I think you like my ass more. I see you staring at it, I bet you didn't know I knew that."

"Well, it's definitely your pussy. But that doesn't mean I don't love looking at your ass too. And the bleaching, I can't believe how tiny and perfect and pink it is. And that I get to look at it!"

"Guess what else?" she asked playfully.

"What?" I was afraid to ask.

"I know your dick gets hard when you laser me. Did you know that I knew that?"

"Umm..." I wasn't sure what to say,

"So." That pause again. "So, I've been wondering. Why does your dick get hard?

"Well, I guess I can't deny. I mean, you're naked. You're beautiful. Your pussy and ass are wide open for me to see. And smell. I'm only human, y'know?"

"Oh yeah, mister smell my pussy, ass, underarms, and toes... you're a freak!" She joked. Then again, instantly softening the mood. "It's OK, I like knowing I've still got it," she laughed again.

There was a pause. I didn't quite have a good answer. "Well, I'm sure you've noticed, but my pussy gets wet when I know you're looking at me?"

I gulped. "I did notice, yes."

"What did you think?

"I loved it. I love everything about this. I love seeing you naked. And you know me and smelling you. I love what we're doing. I'm dreading when the hairs are permanently gone and you won't need more laser treatment!"

"I'll come over for inspections. How about that?" she said. "And maybe I'll tell Joanie to come over for laser hair removal too. Lord knows she needs it!" I couldn't believe my ears. Her sister Joanie was gorgeous too, but a socially awkward nerdy type. "I'm sure you'd be thrilled to do laser hair removal on her too, you perv!"

"Deal!" I said with a smile. "I think the inspections need to be at least twice a week?"

"Deal. Twice a week!" she agreed. "So let me ask you something.

"Uh oh!" I kidded, knowing it was going to be a doozy.

Again, preceded with a 'So'. "So, when you get hard... I mean, I know you're hard from a naked woman and seeing pussy and ass and all that. But does it turn you on? I mean, does it turn you on, that way?"

I gulped. At the same time, although she was tipsy, she wasn't as drunk as I thought at first. Her lips were loosened up a bit, but she was speaking clearly, looking me in the eye, and speaking very rationally.

"Well," I paused, not sure what to say.

"I mean, are you turned on in an 'I want to fuck my ex- sister-in-law' sort of way? Or just from seeing a naked chick? Because I peeked through the front door portholes and saw you beating off two times. And the second time, I saw you looking at your phone. You kept those pictures of my ass, didn't you?"

I nodded, embarrassed and caught-red handed.

Dina continued. "I should have been mad, but instead it turned me on. I almost came back to tell you to fuck me, but you were beating off. I saw! Do you do that every time?"

I started to nod and confess, that yes, I had, but the words hadn't even come out of my mouth before Dina did something absolutely amazing. She slid her middle finger right into her pussy, and said, "'cause I do this when I get home. Sometimes even on the drive home. I stick my middle finger right into my pussy, like this!" she said.

She had asked two questions, without me answering the first. I decided intentionally to answer in a way with double meanings. "I definitely do." Which question was I answering?

"And did you know I taste incredible?" She teasingly popped her wet middle finger into her mouth, and pulled it out slowly and seductively. I was having yet another best day of my life. "But did you ever answer me about the whole wanting to fuck me question? You didn't, did you?"

I was in the same shorts I had put on earlier. But it was time. I stood up, undid the belt, the top button, and the pants were loose enough to slide down, along with my boxer briefs with a hook of the thumb. With my pants around my ankles, I grabbed my extremely hard cock and pumped it. "Yes. I do think of you that way. And God, yes, I want to fuck you. Over and over. And yes, I pump my cock every time, and imagine cumming right into your mouth and pussy and ass."

She was fingering so rapidly and eagerly, I could hear it. I was slightly above her after standing. She looked straight at my cock, then up into my eyes. "I want that in me."

"We've had so much to drink. I wonder if," I started to say, trying to soften my statement by saying 'we', but also feeling like it would be wrong to have sex when she was impaired. I was interrupted by her leaning forward, and with her hand reaching out as if to shake my hand, she grabbed me by the penis and pulled me to her.

"Fuck me. Cum inside me. Just this time, it'll be a quickie, but I want to go to sleep with a smile on my face and cum in my pussy." She was pulling me hard enough that I had to yield, and within seconds, I was inside her. She cooed softly as I entered her. "Just like that."

I was on my knees in front of the couch. I reached down and pulled her by the hips a little closer to me, and basked in the warmth of her tight and almost perfectly bald pussy.

"You realize I've wanted this for years, right?" She was speaking earnestly.

"Me too," I whispered. I looked down, and watched as my cock, glistening with her wetness, glided in and out of her.

"Faster," she whispered. "Fast and hard."

I sped up. I felt a little uncomfortable, knowing I would cum so quickly, having spent so many hours lately being hard, thinking about her naked body.

"Finish in me. Deep in me. Then I want you to pick me up and carry me to bed and tuck me in," she gazed into my eyes as she said it.

It felt so good. And when she started bucking and raising her ass to meet me, it wasn't going to be possible to maintain my control. "Fill me up. Now," she said.

And I did. I gushed deep inside her, and held my body against hers, as my cock jumped and pulsated inside her, a second blast, a third. I loved the sensation, first of her, then the new warmth of my own cum, and the way my cock suddenly slid in and out of her even more easily.

"Ohh, I like that. Did you know I like cum? Now watch this," she continued. She took hold of my hips with her fingertips and pushed me away with her thumb. She reached down, and dipped her middle and third finger right into her pussy, and hooked her fingers to pull out some of my cum. Then up to her mouth. "In fact, I don't just like cum. I love it. God, I've wanted your cum in me. Did you know that?"

"Mmm," was all I could manage. She reached down again and collected more cum. She smeared it between her breasts. Then down again, got more, and wiped some across her upper lip, right under her nostrils.

"Now, pick me up, carry me to bed. If I stand, more of it will drip out of me. I want to go to sleep with it in me. Take me to your bed and tuck me in."

I sat next to her on the sofa, sideways, and made like a forklift with my two arms and picked her up. She was so light. It took me a little concentration to make sure I kept my balance once I stood up, but I prevailed. I started carrying her to my room, which was no more than about twenty paces away, but she was so relaxed and tipsy enough that she was starting to fall asleep. I carried her into my bedroom, and managed to prop her against me just long enough to pull the sheet and comforter down, and I eased her down into the bed. She opened her eyes, but sleepily, and said "Thank you," and closed them again. I waited for a minute or two, then quietly slipped out the room and to the kitchen to get a glass of water and some headache medicine to leave by the bedside table. When I went back in, she was asleep, but had apparently decided the comforter was too hot, because it had been kicked down, leaving her naked body fully exposed from the shins up. I couldn't resist lowering my head and giving a soft kiss on the mons, then I decided to let her rest.

::::::::

I went back to the living room to stop and reflect for a moment. My watch showed that it was exactly 50 minutes since I had gotten her car and said goodbye to Laura.

And like clockwork, Dina's phone, sitting on the coffee table, went off. The preview display said 'Laura', and a picture of her playing sand volleyball showed up, along with the text, "Hey, just making sure you got home ok."

I decided to try to respond, hoping the phone wouldn't be locked, but of course, it was. Dina was so smart. But then I remembered I had Laura's number from Dina texting it to me earlier. I sent her a text from my phone, "Hi Laura, this is Jack typing. She's fine! Thanks for checking on her."

"Oh, good. Asleep?" Laura replied via text.

I responded, "Out like a light!"

"Well, that makes sense. Are you ok? Maybe you should sleep on her couch rather than driving all the way home."

Gears started spinning in my head. I typed back, "Oh, we ended up coming back to my house. She wasn't up for the long drive."

"Ohh, that's probably even better. I wish I had known that though, I'd either have come over or gone to bed 45 minutes ago."

"Oh gosh, I'm sorry. It wasn't planned."

"It's OK. I'm wide awake."

"Me too,"

There was a long, awkward pause, then in an unusual moment of clarity, I wrote, "I'll be there in five minutes to pick you up."

"You will, will you?" she replied, with a smiley next to the text.

"I will! You said you would have come over, that you're wide awake. And I have gourmet frozen waffles and café con leche, and I'm not afraid to use them!"

"Hm" was her reply, after a brief pause.

"Well, you hesitated, so I'm already in my car." I was fibbing, but it sounded good.

She responded, again after a pause. "How about fifteen minutes, I need to get dressed again." Well, that made my heart skip a beat, having her reveal that she was naked. Was that what she meant? Laura, as I suspected, was as intelligent and observant as she was beautiful. She probably realized what I, a simple male, was thinking, and added, "I don't think you want to see me in fuzzy slippers, sweats, and a tank top."

What she didn't know, but I wasn't allowed to say out loud, was that I did want to see her like that, especially the tank top. What if it was a white ribbed-cotton tank top, with no bra? "Well, that would be just fine with me. If you insist though, I do like sundresses. Yellow sundresses. With cute strappy sandals. I'm just sayin'," I typed, trying to pass it off as a joke, but I remembered the company picnic two years ago like it was yesterday. She had worn a yellow sundress and cute strappy sandals that day. And she looked spectacular in it.

"Ok. Tell you what, I'll drive myself over, but it is late, so drive over, then follow me back. Do you remember where I live?"

"I do. I'll be there, waiting out by the street. I'll be in a Green SUV."

"K."

I took the world's fastest shower, then I practically raced over and parked on the street outside her house. I half expected a long wait, but fifteen minutes from my invitation, I saw her front door open, and she walked to her car in the driveway. In her yellow sundress. And cute strappy sandals. My heart skipped a beat. And in my head, I couldn't stop my inner male pig from wondering if she was wearing underwear. I hadn't said anything about what to wear under.