Do You Trust Your Wife?

One time she started in on trust, and I thought to myself, okay, here we go. Finally! I was eager to talk about it, but she wasn't interested in what I had to say. She was spread eagle on the bed, lying on her back with hands and feet stretched out and tied to the four bedposts.

"I'm completely helpless," she said. "You could do anything you want to me now, and I couldn't stop you. It takes a lot of trust for me to let you do this to me.

"Maybe you're looking at me and thinking about what I did with Harry. Now is your chance to get even. You could slap me until I'm dizzy. You could brand me. You could cut me. You could pull my hair. You could stick things inside me. You are probably imagining things that are even worse. I trusted you when you tied me up. Maybe that was a mistake."

I played along with her.

"It was a mistake. How could you trust me when you saw me and Scarlett?"

"Yes, I'm very stupid. I saw what you did with my own eyes, and it was more powerful than a confession. I told you I would never trust you again because of your affair with Scarlett, but today I foolishly trusted you. And now you can make me sorry for being so trusting."

"Before we're finished here, you're going to wish you hadn't trusted me," I said.

I tried to laugh an evil laugh before I continued.

"I'm going to do things to you that you can't imagine. And when we're done, your body will never be the same. Trust me!"

She laughed.

"I trust you, but do you trust me? I don't think you do. You think I slept with Harry because you saw me dancing dirty with him, and now you don't trust me. You would never let me tie you up like this. Admit it. You don't trust me as much as I trust you."

"That's right."

I reached for her butt cheek and grabbed it.

"Anyone who lets Harry do this to her can never be trusted again."

I kneaded her ass and then I grabbed one cheek with each hand and held them tightly. She whimpered.

"I can tell you are going to hurt me badly because I trusted you," she said. "Are you going to put it in my ass and rip me apart?"

"I sure am."

I carefully inserted one finger into her ass and then bent my head and began working on her with my tongue.

"You son of a..." she began but those were the last intelligible words she spoke. From then on, there were only sighs, moans and gasps.

It was at least two orgasms until she began talking. I noticed she was on the verge of tears.

"No more! No more!" she cried. "You've tortured me beyond all reason. Go ahead and put your cock in my ass and rip me apart. That's what you want to do. You can make me as sore as you want to, because I trusted you, even though you don't trust me."

I sat up and looked at her. Big red blotches were on her chest and other places on her naked body. Her face was red, too, and she was panting hard. From her words and the way she looked, it seemed like she wanted rough sex. But I hesitated. Even though she was turned on, seeing her tied to the bed was turning me off.

I couldn't do it.

"You bitch," I said angrily.

At least I tried to sound angry and keep from smiling.

"That's just what you'd like. You want to lie there and let me do all the work. You're a lazy slut. If you want to get off again, it's your turn to work. And don't try to stop me if you know what's good for you."

As quickly as I could, I untied her hands and feet. Then I jumped on top of her and put my arms around her and held her tight as I rolled over. Now I was on my back and she was on top of me.

I kept holding her as I slid around the bed until I was in the middle. Then I let her go.

"Okay, bitch," I growled. "Get to work! And I don't care how much it hurts, you'd better ride me hard if you know what's good for you."

She looked surprised. This obviously wasn't what she had expected. She got on her knees and began moving up and down on my cock. She was smiling.

I slapped her ass lightly with my right hand.

"Faster, bitch!"

Still smiling, she got off her knees, stood over me and then squatted on top of me. She moved around until she got me inside her without using her hands. She slowly began bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet. The mattress acted like a trampoline and she had trouble getting control at first and sometimes flew right off of me. When she did, we'd laugh as she mounted me again.

After a while, she got better control and made sure I stayed inside her. She began bouncing faster and coming down harder, slamming her thighs into my belly as she swallowed me up.

Then she had another idea. She leaned forward and pressed her breasts into my chest. Now her upper body was tight against me and motionless, and she was swiveling her lower body. Her belly, midsection and thighs were colliding with mine. As she worked up a head of steam I felt like I was being pounded into the bed by a human sledgehammer.

There was a loud slapping sound as her butt hit my thighs. It became faster and louder. I felt it all over my lower body. She sat up and started bouncing on me. Each time she came down hard on my cock, she pushed into my belly with her hands to help raise herself back up. I started feeling lightheaded as she squeezed the air out of me. My thighs were being bruised as she slammed into them. But I didn't care, because my cock loved the feeling of her pussy attacking it.

I heard the little cries she makes as she comes. That sent me all the way. I came into her and she fell onto me like dead weight and didn't move.

I couldn't move either. She had pounded the life out of me. With her weight on me I could barely catch my breath. After an eternity, she sat up and looked at me. She smiled and then kissed me. I didn't respond.

"What's wrong? Are you hurt?"

"No," I said, "but you've destroyed me. I can barely breathe, and I'm too weak to move. Give me some time to recover. You're a killer."

"Interesting," she observed in a detached voice. "I didn't realize I was doing that to you."

After that night, she seemed stuck on that scene. There were variations but each time it was all about how she trusted me to tie her up and how she might be wrong. She thought up some horrible things that I could do to her and recited them.

Then she added a new twist. After she'd wonder out loud about some new painful and degrading thing that I might do, she explained how I could get away with it. She put a lot of thought into how I could escapeg any consequences, including deceiving the police if she reported me. Her schemes to get them to believe me rather than her were quite imaginative.

When we bought a new video camera that worked well in all kinds of lighting, it was supposed to be for recording the children. She bought a tripod for it and set it up next to the bed at our next role-playing evening. I told her I didn't want her to film us. She said she would turn it off before we got into any action.

She played to the camera as she took off her clothes and I tied her arms and legs. She went on and on about how she trusted me and how she might be making a big mistake because once she was tied up she would be helpless to stop me.

She said that by allowing me to restrain her, she was really giving me permission to do anything I wanted to her. If I did something she didn't like, she had no right to complain. It would just prove that she had been stupid to trust me.

All of her talk made no sense to me, but I could tell it was important to her. The speech was similar each time, but she was always working on it and adding things and removing other things. I stopped listening after a while. She wasn't really talking to me, just to the camera.

The fourth time we did this scene she started by opening a package.

"I got this at the adult store," she said as she opened it. "These are professional restraints. I tried them on at the store and it hardly felt like I had anything on. But they are really strong. And they're adjustable. You can make them looser to allow my body to move around and react more to what you are doing to me. Or you can make them really tight so I can't move a muscle."

I imagined her putting on the restraints in the store. Did the clerk help her? Was it a woman or a man? The thoughts repelled me, but they aroused me, too.

One time, I noticed that the camera was still running after we were heavily into the sex. I stopped, got up, turned it off, took out the little storage disk and broke it in two. She gave a little cry, but she didn't say anything. After that, I checked the camera each time before the sex started to make sure it was off.

I enjoyed the wild sex, but the other stuff started getting old. I didn't mind role playing, but she was stuck in that one role. I was tired of hearing about what I could do to her and how I could cover it up in case she told the authorities. I was sick of hearing how much she trusted me despite me not trusting her.

Finally, I told her I had enough of doing the same thing over and over and asked her to move on to other roles. She said she'd think about it.

After the night I said that, something changed. I caught her gazing at me at odd times. It gave me the creeps. We would be eating dinner with the kids or watching TV or at a restaurant and I'd see her eyeing me. When I looked at her face, it was blank -- no expression at all.

It wasn't a natural expression. She was hiding something.

I found out what it was two weeks later, after another evening of exhausting sex. We were lying in bed next to each other, catching our breath and looking at the ceiling.

"I'm ready to move on," she said.

"What?"

"You said you were getting tired of repeating this scene," she said. "I know you don't like it as much as I do. I enjoy working on my role to perfect it, but you've stayed the same. There's just one more variation I want to try before we move on."

"That's fine. So next time will be the last time we do this one."

"Yes, if you agree to the variation."

"I've hardly ever disagreed before," I said, "except about the camera. I haven't changed my mind about not recording us making love, so I hope that isn't your variation."

"No."

I waited for her to tell me more, but she just looked at me with that blank expression.

Finally, I said, "What is it?"

She spoke softly. I remember every word she said.

"For the last time, I want to reverse roles."

At first, I didn't understand.

"How do we do that?" I asked. "You're a woman, and I'm a man. I can't imagine what you are talking about."

She took a deep breath.

"I didn't say reverse sexes," she said. "Whenever we've done this, I've trusted you. This time I want you to trust me."

I started to say that I still didn't get it, but suddenly I understood.

"You mean you want to tie me up?" I said. "Not on your life."

"Why not?"

"Because that's your thing, not mine. I went along with it to please you. I'm not interested in that role."

"You're not telling me the real reason," she said. "All the other roles we've played, no matter how crazy they were, you always got into the spirit of the scene, and we had lots of laughs. But this one scares you. You want me to tell you why?"

"Why?"

"Because you don't trust me."

"Yes, yes, you keep on saying that. You love to say that you trust me and I don't trust you. But we're not playing roles right now."

"I'm not playing a role," she said. "I really mean it. You don't trust me. You haven't trusted me since you saw me with Harry at that party."

"You mean the night you told me you would never trust me again because of something I never did?"

"Don't change the subject. I've proven that I trust you. Sure, it's a role, but in reality, you could have taken advantage of me being helpless to get revenge for Harry."

"But I didn't."

"Yes," she said. "I trusted you to not hurt or degrade me, and you didn't. But you don't trust me the same way. Not even one time. You're afraid of being helpless and vulnerable. You think I'm going to take revenge on you for your affair with Scarlett. Admit it."

"I'm not admitting anything. I've wanted to talk to you about what happened that night for a long time. You've never brought it up. Now all of a sudden you're using it to get me to go along with your role reversal. I don't want any part of that."

She looked at me in astonishment, as if she couldn't believe what I just said and didn't know how to respond. It seemed like a long time before she spoke, and then her words were suddenly slow and deliberate.

"You say you've wanted to talk to me," she said. "What is there to talk about?"

"I think it's still hanging over our heads and I'm afraid if we don't deal with it, it's going to bite us one day. It might hurt us and even the children."

Again she looked at me in surprise and responded in carefully measured words.

"Let me get this straight. Since that night, you've been thinking we need to talk about Scarlett and Harry, and yet you've never mentioned it until now."

"That's because I didn't want to upset you," I said. "I was waiting for the right time."

There was another pause, but then she spoke in a normal tone again.

"It so happens, I agree with you completely," she said. "We have to close the book on this. I've also been thinking about it ever since that night. But unlike you, I haven't been sitting around waiting for the right time to resolve the problem. I've been working to make the right time happen."

"Since we agree that we need to talk about this, the right time must be now," I said. "So let's talk."

She looked at me and was silent again for a few moments.

"Okay," she said. "Let's talk -- but after we do the role reversal."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"It's all part of the same thing. I've proven that I trust you. If you don't trust me, how can we talk about moving forward?"

The conversation went on a while longer. It went every way but the way I wanted it to go. I wanted it to be about Sheila and me and our kids, but Sheila kept twisting it back to me not trusting her and letting her tie me up would prove I trusted her as much as she trusted me.

She finally wore me down. As I gave in, I stared at her for a sign of what she was thinking. She didn't crack. Her face was expressionless, so I knew she was still hiding something. She thanked me for trusting her, but she didn't act happy about it.

I was exhausted from the sex earlier and the heated discussion. but I didn't fall asleep for a long time. I had a bad feeling about our conversation. Sheila, on the other hand, didn't seem to be bothered. She fell asleep at once. I looked at her face. She couldn't control it in her sleep. She was smiling.

*****************

I waited two weeks for her to bring up the subject again before I mentioned it. It wasn't because I was anxious to do it. Maybe it was because we didn't have sex for those two weeks. But probably it was because of my frustration when I looked at her expressionless face and wondered what it was hiding.

"So when does this happen?" I asked one night after the kids were in bed. "You want to do it now?"

"No," she said. "I've been waiting to make sure you're ready. Are you sure you're ready to trust me?"

I thought of a snappy reply, but I didn't say it. What was the use? She was only hearing what she wanted to hear. Maybe after she had her fun, we could stop playing these word games.

"I'm ready."

"Then we'll do it Sunday morning. I'll talk to my parents about the kids sleeping over there Saturday night. I can get them Sunday afternoon."

Maybe it was because I was feeling jumpy, but when she said that I had a strange thought. Usually when the kids sleep over at their grandparents, we both go there and have dinner with them. Was I reading something into what she said about her picking them by herself?

I wanted to say something, and I wanted to ask why it was Sunday morning when all the previous times it had been at night while the kids were asleep. Was she afraid the kids might hear something? What would they hear?

"You're not saying anything, Sheldon," she said. "But I can tell you're worried. Ask me anything."

"What are you going to do to me after you tie me up?"

"I'm not going to tell you now, but I promise I'll tell you everything I'm going to do before I start. I won't spring any surprises on you.

"I'll tell you something else. It's not going to be the same as what we've been doing up to now. I'm not you, and you're not me. This will be different from when you were in control."

"What does that mean?"

"You don't react to things the same way I do. I'm counting on you to play your role and react convincingly to mine. That's what will make it fun.

"I'm going to say things that play to your knack for dramatic improvisation. You're better at responding than leading when we're role playing. You always have great comebacks and say things with such a straight face that you shock me and fool me into thinking you're serious. Say the first thing that comes to your mind. Be as outrageous as you can. Surprise me."

"I'll do my best to give you what you want," I said cautiously, "but there's one thing I'm serious about. I have the feeling you're going to try to film the whole thing. I'll be tied up and won't be able to stop you.

"I'm warning you -- no, let me put it a different way. I'm trusting you that you won't film us making love. I know that the idea excites you, but you know how I feel about making something intimate into a tawdry porn movie."

"That's a ridiculous way of looking at it!" she exclaimed. "I could point out all sorts of things to show you how wrong you are, but I don't want to get into an argument about that. So I promise you that I will not film us making love. Do you trust me to keep that promise?"

I didn't answer her question because at that moment I wasn't sure of anything except my regret that I given in to her on the role reversal.

*************

In bed Saturday night, she and I were lying side by side looking at the ceiling. All I could think of was that by tomorrow night all of this would be over, but that didn't comfort me in the least because maybe our marriage would be over, too.

I tried to force the thoughts out of my mind and turned to Sheila and began stroking her. Her body reacted almost violently, as if I had thrown ice water on her. She quickly scrambled away from me, and when she turned to face me, there was a sad look on her face.

"I don't ..." she said and then stopped and moved toward me. She leaned forward and took my cock in her mouth. That was the start of the wildest sex we'd had since I could remember.

It was wilder than any of the role playing, and we didn't say a word. We both kept going even when we were exhausted. I had the feeling she and I were thinking the same thing -- until we finished, everything was still all right and maybe, somehow, we would never finish.

But we had to finish eventually, and when we did, Sheila wiped tears from her eyes, gave me a passionate kiss and then curled up on her side of the bed with her back to me.

****************

I slept fitfully and the next morning I already felt weak and helpless, before she did anything.

Her face during breakfast was once again expressionless. My dread grew by the minute. She finished eating before me and went upstairs. I dawdled and waited for her to yell down and ask me what was holding me up.

But she never said anything.

After a while, I slowly walked up the stairs and went into our bedroom. I saw that she had been busy.

She was stripped to bra and panties and was gleaming. She was sweating because she had been working hard.

The bedroom looked like a cyclone had hit it and sucked nearly everything out the window. All that was left was the bed, which had been stripped down to the bottom sheet and some pillows, and the dresser, which didn't have anything on it anymore. The two chairs had been removed, along with all the photos of the family and the colorful painting she liked. The only thing added was a second camera next to the first on a separate tripod.