Doing Time

"You know why I'm here, don't you? I had a visitor last week who said she had come to see you," said Joan.

"I'm sorry, Joan. I just couldn't deal with it. Not after all these years. She wanted answers and I just couldn't help her. Hell, how do I know she is even my kid?" I asked.

"That's what she wanted, Joe. A DNA sample to find out if you are her dad. Why couldn't you do that for her? I talked to her for hours and believe me when I say this. She is a wonderful lady. When we were through talking she told me she hoped you were her dad and that she would love to have a relationship with me as her aunt and to meet her grandparents."

"She hasn't seen Mom and Dad, has she? I don't even know if she's mine?"

"Joe, she has that same hardheadedness that you have. I asked her if she would let me talk to you first and if you are her dad I would take her to see mom and dad. She thought it would be best too. She also asked about her cousins, my kids. She just wants to connect with that side of her life she never knew. I think you owe her that much, Joe. At least take the DNA test and we'll know for sure."

"Okay, I guess I can do that much but don't introduce her to mom and dad until you know for sure. I don't know what I getting myself into."

"Joe, I hope she is your daughter. It's like a lost part of our past is found. She told me all she knew about you and what happened with Chrissy and her grandparents. She honestly thought you were dead until a few months ago. Do you want to hear her story?"

"No, I'll wait till I know she's my daughter before hearing about the past. It's all moot if she isn't mine."

"Fair enough, Joe," said Joan.

I made arrangements to have a sample of my DNA sent to Joan. I didn't hear from anyone for three months. I received my monthly letter from my mom and it never mentioned meeting anyone new. I figured the results were negative and I wasn't the girl's father. I had to admit to myself that it did hurt a little. I guess everyone wants family.

Another month had gone by and I had another visitor. I figured it was Joan coming back to tell me the sad news. Instead it was a smiling Marci.

She greeted me with a "Hi, Dad."

I broke down and cried. I honestly couldn't help it; it just happened. After all these years I've been alone and now I had a daughter. She was gently crying with me. I recovered and we talked a little. She told me that the day before she had stopped in my old home town and saw Joan and showed her the results of our DNA. Joan had taken her over to meet my parents and she told me how much she loved them.

She said mom cried as she hugged her, and dad would hardly let her go. She promised them that she would bring her kids and husband with her the next time. My parents were eager to meet their great-grandchildren. I know I had tears in my eyes during all this talk. I finally asked Marci about her mother and how she came about finding me.

"I live in a small town in Kentucky, just south of Cincinnati, Ohio. I'm an accountant for a law firm there. About four times a year I have to travel to Cleveland to help balance the books. We have a subsidiary office there. I just stay the one night and then head back home. Sometimes my husband Ray comes with me. He's a lawyer in the firm.

"We met in college. We were a few years apart but when I graduated he offered me a job. His dad is the owner of the firm. We got married and our daughter Krista was born and just over a year after that Ray Jr. came along. It works great for us because I can do a lot of my work from home.

"Anyway, one day Ray was looking up the criminal records of a client and I asked him if he could do that for anyone who was in prison? He told me he could; I asked him even if the prisoner was deceased, and he told me yes.

"The next time I was by mom's I asked her if she had your original records and she said she didn't remember but wanted to know why I wanted it. She seemed nervous and said it was probably locked up somewhere. I told her I was just curious and let it go. I knew mom had a small safe and only she and I knew the combination. One day when she wasn't there I looked in it and got your number. I'll never forget it: #847623, Joseph McVay.

"Ray ran it through the system and it didn't show a Joseph McVay deceased. I asked him to run it through using names like Joe or Joey. He told me that the number is what counted and not the name. According to the records prisoner #847623 was alive and still in prison. That's when I lost it. I found out you might still be alive.

"Ray told me to let it go but I couldn't do it. I had to know for sure if my dad was dead or alive. On my next trip to Cleveland I stopped here to see you. Of course you know what happened after that."

I smiled. "You're a very lovely girl and I'm happy for you but why did you go through all this trouble for a con. It seems to me you had a pretty good life up to now. Why would you want to mess it up by knowing me? I'm no good and in prison to boot."

"I guess a person has to go through it to really understand. It's kind of like an orphan not knowing his parents. Of course I know mom and her side of the family but the other side of me was blank. Grandma and grandpa wouldn't talk about you at all. Mom always said you made a mistake and had paid for it. I could tell mom never wanted to talk about it. Whenever I mentioned you she would get a tear in her eye and walk away."

"So, does your mom and grandparents know that you contacted me? Especially since they told you I was dead."

"First, let me tell you that mom knows and cried for not telling me the truth. She thought it would be best for me. Originally, it was my grandma that told me you had died when I had asked about where you lived. I was six years old at the time and was curious about my dad. You should know that my grandpa Hamilton died two years ago and grandma is in a nursing home. Her memory is failing her. It's hard to be mad at her now. She probably did what she felt was best at the time."

"What about your mom? Is she happy? Did she get remarried? Do you have brothers and sisters?" I had so many questions. It's been so long since I even thought about Chrissy.

"At first I was really mad at my grandparents and mom for lying to me when I found out. Mom said at first she was mad at my grandparents too but she went along once they told me you were dead. To contradict her parents would have made no sense and I was probably better off thinking you were deceased."

"I almost agree with them. Thinking that I was alive and wasting time on me would have been senseless. Your grandparents never liked me but I have to think they did this because of their love for you. It's just that my parents missed out on having a granddaughter they would have loved."

"They aren't going to miss out anymore. I promised them that on my next trip up here Ray and the kids will come with me. They will have a chance to meet their great grandkids," she cried.

"What about your mom? You haven't said much about her," I asked.

"Mom told me you probably wouldn't want to hear much about her but she did say that if you mentioned her that I should tell you that she really did love you and her parents are what kept her from seeing or writing to you. She was young and pregnant and her mom and dad was all she had after you were locked up.

"She did say that she took a picture of me when I was born and sent it to you. She always wondered if you ever got it."

I reached in my vest pocket and pulled out the tattered picture of a little baby. You could hardly read the inscription on the back, it was so worn. Marci looked at it through the plexiglas and tears were coming down her cheeks.

"Mom will be happy to know that," she said.

She went on to tell me that her mom went to nursing school and that her grandma watched her. Her grandparents pretty much raised her while her mom went to school. Of course she said her mom was there all the time but was always doing homework and trying to get her degree.

She said Chrissy became a nurse and they all still lived together. When Marci turned ten her mother met a doctor whose wife had died and they dated. He had two young kids of his own. Eventually they got married and Chrissy and Marci moved into her husband's house.

His kids were younger than Marci. She said he treated her well enough but never intended on adopting her. Of course he showed favoritism to his own kids. Marci said she didn't think her mom was truly happy but married this guy Brad so Marci could have a father. They were married for about seven years when Chrissy found him cheating on her. It ended in a divorce and of course he asked for his kids during the custody battle. He never did ask for Marci which Chrissy would have never given up anyway.

He didn't have to pay any alimony or child support and Chrissy and Marci moved into their own condo. Marci said she and her mom were almost like sisters after that. They both loved shopping and spent a lot of time together. She went to an area college so she could live at home and be with her mom.

Marci said her mom dated some but never remarried. She said she wasn't the luckiest in love and twice was enough. According to Marci her mom had a lot of friends. She was happy with her life and pretty much did her own thing.

When Marci got married she said her grandfather walked her down the aisle. She had always wished it could have been her father who had passed away. She was still good friends with her stepbrother and sister and they even came to the wedding. They even visited Chrissy on a regular basis. They held the divorce against their dad and still considered Chrissy as their mother.

"Well, Dad, that pretty much brings you up to date on my life. I wrote a long letter here telling you just about the same thing. I also included a couple of wedding pictures and a couple of pictures of your grandkids. How do I give them to you?

"Take the envelope to the guard at the end of the hall and he will look through it and then give it to me."

"Okay, Dad, I have to go now. My times up. I love you, dad," she cried as she blew me a kiss."

I can't tell you how many times I read and reread that letter. I constantly looked at the pictures. Marci even included one of Chrissy. I could hardly look at it without tearing up.

In the months that followed my mom wrote me and told me about seeing Marci and the kids. They were so happy. I received more pictures of mom and dad holding my grandkids. I needed to get out of here. I now had a family. I wasn't sure what I could do to convince the board that I would never be back. I needed a place to stay and a job to go to. I didn't want to put anymore pressure on Marci or Joan.

I was told I had another visitor. I expected it might be Marci again but it was her husband Ray. I recognized him from the wedding pictures.

"Mr. McVay, I'm Ray Zinkon, Marci's husband. She asked me or should I say told me to come and see you," he smiled.

"Nice to meet you, Ray. Thank you for letting Marci come and see me; I really appreciate it."

"You don't let Marci do anything. I swear that girl is as hardheaded as they come. She doesn't get that from her mother," he laughed.

"What can I do for you, Ray?"

"Marci told me," he smiled again. "She said you were turned down for parole six times. She wanted me to see what we could do to get you paroled. I will tell you up front that I was against Marci seeing you in the first place but she has convinced me that you're not that bad of a guy."

"Thank you for the honesty; it's pretty rare anymore. I need a place to live and a job if the board is considering parole for me. I have a degree in accounting and am good at taxes."

"So that's why Marci is a wiz with numbers. Her mom has a hard time balancing a checkbook. Hardheaded and a wiz at math; I guess Marci is a chip off the old block. I have to tell you she's the sweetest gal I've ever met. I hate to say this but I do believe that comes from her mom. I know you don't want to hear this but I have to be honest with you. Chrissy is a wonderful mother-in-law. My parents love her and the kids adore their grandmother. I thought I should let you know how I felt about her."

"I understand. I've had a lot of years to think and I can hardly blame Chrissy or her parents for my wrongdoing. I don't hold a grudge whatsoever against Chrissy."

"Good that we understand each other. Now I need a little information and I'll see what I can do about this parole," said Ray.

I did my best to answer all his questions and be up-front with him. I was afraid to get my hopes up too high. After being denied six times I had to wonder. Of course this was the first time I had someone help me. I sure hope it was enough.

At the next parole meeting I went in and the same damn board members were there. They didn't look overly happy to see me. Ray was sitting in a chair next to where I was asked to sit. They started asking me questions and Ray explained to them that he would be able to answer them for them.

"Mr. McVay is my father-in-law." The board started looking through their papers and had no record of me having a child.

"His daughter had thought he had passed away when she was a little girl; hence the reason you have no record of her." He passed forward a copy of Marci's birth certificate with me listed as the father.

"Here is also a letter from Mr. McVay's parents who are still living and welcome their son home. They have a room available for him to live with them.

I had tears in my eyes. Marci and Ray had talked to mom and dad. I could never have asked them. They've been through so much.

"I also have a recommendation for employment. Mr. McVay is an accountant. He holds a bachelors degree. This firm will hire him as a bookkeeper until he can be re-certified as an accountant."

I had no idea who this firm was or how Ray was able to get me employment but I didn't want to ask him right then. We were asked to step out in the lobby while the board talked it over. While sitting in the lobby, I asked Ray about the accounting firm.

"It's owned by one of my former clients. There was some mis-management of funds from one of his partners. I handled his defense. He told me if I ever needed his services to let him know. Marci said it was time to call in the marker," he laughed.

We were called back in the board room. My parole was accepted. I would have to report to a parole office once a month for the next two years. I should also know that I could be tested for drugs at anytime. If they were found in my system I would have to serve five more years. I've never taken illegal drugs so that wouldn't be a problem.

I was released two days later. When I came out the door it was like entering a new world. There was a van waiting for me. Out came the daughter I have never held running to me. I put my arms around her and wept like a baby. I held her and never wanted to let go. Behind her came Ray holding a little boy in his arms and walking along beside him holding his hand was a little girl, my grandchildren.

"Krista, Ray Ray, this is your grandpa," smiled Marci.

They were a bit shy but I hugged and kissed both of them.

"Why is he crying, mommy?" asked Krista.

"Because I am so happy to meet you," I replied to Krista.

I hugged and kissed the little sweetheart and gave little Ray Ray a big hug and kiss also.

We headed back to my old home town. I saw a lot of changes and it really was surprising. Especially the new cars on the road. They were so different. I did recognize the old neighborhood where I once lived. How can a grown man cry so much? I felt I was making a fool of myself.

At the front door were my mom and dad. They were in their seventies but still looked good. Mom was crying as I was hugging her. I guess moms really do have a forgiving love for their kids. I hugged my dad also and he hugged me back. When I walked inside there was a sign, "Welcome home, Joey." It's what my mom and sister always called me.

Also inside were my sister and her husband who I met when they were first married. There were also her three grown kids and their families. I had never met any of them but I remember mom sending me pictures of them. Of course most were a little nervous about meeting me. Not everyone wants to hug a relative who just got out of prison.

I said hello to all of them and we had a nice get together. Marci felt almost at home. Apparently she had met her cousins and was already friends with all of them. I spent time sitting in a chair holding my grandkids. They didn't know enough to be afraid of me. God, how I loved them. I guess I was getting a second chance at life.

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Life went on and was good. Marci and Ray called once in awhile and we talked. Of course they lived a couple of hundred miles away. My job was good. I went and took the board test and passed it with flying colors. I was now a CPA and making good money. I was taking the bus to work till I got a driver's license and saved enough to buy a used vehicle. I had no credit and had to laugh when my dad signed for me. He got a big kick out of it also.

I gave them two hundred dollars a week to help them out. They told me they didn't need it but I wasn't about to mooch off of them. I saw Joan fairly regularly and her kids and grandkids got to know me a little better.

Thanksgiving was coming and Marci asked me if I could make it to Kentucky and have Thanksgiving dinner with them? I told her that I had promised mom that I would be home for Thanksgiving. She wanted to make me the traditional big dinner with all the trimmings.

Marci told me she understood. She asked me to leave Christmas open. She said there is nothing better than watching kids open presents on Christmas morning. I told her I would see what I could do. I needed permission to leave the state.

I was also a little afraid of running into Chrissy. It was something I usually didn't talk about. It was one of the reasons I decided to stay at mom's for Thanksgiving. I did some Christmas shopping buying for all my new nieces and nephews and their families. My sister told me I was crazy but I never bought for anyone before and it made me feel good. I didn't spend a lot but I did have fun.

I bought presents for Marci and Ray also. I bought a lot of little things for the kids. I had no idea what they needed or wanted. All I knew is they were my grandkids and I was going to get them presents. I don't know why I did it but I bought a necklace for Chrissy. I figured I would tell Marci to give it to her. God, was I turning into some kind of idiot or what. I guess it was because of my first Christmas out of captivity.

I called Marci and told her I had permission to leave the state for a couple of days. I would be driving down and staying in a motel and that Ray could pick me up Christmas morning so I could watch the kids open all their gifts.

Marci was as happy as could be. I did drive down the night before and got myself a room. Ray came by at 7:00 a.m. He said the kids were already looking in their Christmas stockings and we were to hurry back. We loaded up his car with all the gifts I bought. He couldn't believe how many there were and just laughed.

I walked in the house and Marci gave me a kiss and a hug and said, "Merry Christmas, Dad. Would you like a cup of coffee before we start opening presents?"

I told her that would be great seeing I hadn't had any yet that morning. She couldn't believe all the presents Ray started carrying in. I told her that mom and dad each sent one for the kids and so did her Aunt Joan. That still didn't account for the other dozen gifts.

I grabbed the present that I had bought for Chrissy and quietly asked her if she would give it to her mother when she saw her.

"Give it to her yourself, Dad."