Dorthea

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The doctor had bad news for him.
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I stared at him, stunned to the core of my being as what he said slowly registered.

"Are you sure? I mean is there any chance a mistake has been made?

"I'm sorry, I really am. I wish it could be otherwise, but I'm absolutely sure."

My drive home was an absolute horror. How are you supposed to feel when the doctor tells you that your life is over? How do I tell my wife? How do I explain it to the kids? And why now? Did God look down on me and say, "You've had a good life George. Everything has gone your way and now it is time for me to throw some shit into the game."

One minute the perfect life and the next minute life is all but over. It wasn't fair; it just wasn't fair.

+++++

My life had been storybook. I was the Golden Boy. An A student from the first grade until the last day of college. I excelled at sports and I lettered in four sports in high school. I quarterbacked the football team to the school's first ever Regional title. I pitched a no-hitter and hit a home run against Jefferson - our cross town rival - the only time our school had ever beaten them. I had seventeen colleges offer me scholarships and I chose State.

The football coach took one look at me on the first day of practice and said, "You might have been a quarterback in high school son, but I see you as a receiver."

I thought that the man was crazy, but in my junior year I lead the conference in catches, yards gained and touchdowns scored. I made All American in my junior and senior years and graduated from college with a 4.0 GPA. I was a first round draft pick, but I'd had enough of football and I went to work for the XYZ Corporation and in only six years I made it to Vice President of Marketing, but of all the great things that happened to me meeting Dorthea was the best.

+++++

We met in the sixth grade when the boy's gym teacher and the girl's gym teacher decided to combine classes and teach their students to dance. I was paired up with Dorthea and that started an off again on again relationship that culminated in our wedding two years after our college graduation. From the first time that I took Dot in my arms in that gym class I was infatuated with her. So much so that for the next year I was constantly taunted by my classmates and friends.

"Georgie likes Dorthea" and "Georgie is sweet on Dorthea" is something that I heard almost every day. Sadly, Dorthea didn't feel the same way. Oh she did like me well enough, but she liked a lot of other boys to the same extent. When her parents finally allowed her to date I was just one of many that she would go out with.

Things changed a little when I got into sports. As I became successful I also became more popular and there was a class of girls at our school (as at most schools) who liked to date and be seen with the schools athletes. As those girls began to show an interest in me so did Dorthea. I found out later (in college) from one of Dot's close girlfriends that Dot knew that I was hers and would be there when she got done playing the field. Anyway, when others started paying attention to me Dot decided that she had better take care of business before some other girl lit my fire and made me forget Dorthea.

We started going steady and were a couple almost all the way through high school. I say almost because we had all the pissy assed little arguments that teenagers have and we would break up only to get back together in a week or two. The major bone of contention was sex, or more to the point, lack of it.

Every other guy in my class, at least to hear them tell it, had been laid. If they were to be believed I was the only virgin in our class. I was constantly bombarded with things like, "Last night Becky and I went to the drive-in and she sucked my cock" or maybe, "Did you here about Nancy? She and three guys..."

Try as I might all I could get from Dorthea was some heavy necking with some tongue every once in a while. A hand on her beast would get me slapped and she would say, "If you want a slut call Sally Murphy," and then she wouldn't talk to me for a week. About the third time that happened I did call Sally Murphy, but all that did was make things worse. For one thing, if Sally was a slut she was taking the night off on the two dates I had with her and in the second place Dorthea didn't talk to me for a month after she found out I'd been out with Sally. Then when we finally did end up talking again, we broke up for good.

"How could you do that to me?"

"It was your idea. You were the one who kept telling me to call Sally."

"But I didn't really mean it and you know it."

"All I know is that I'm fed up with being the only male senior in this class who is still a virgin."

"Well I'm sorry George, but I place a higher value on my chastity. I will not engage in recreational sex just to please someone who thinks virginity is a crime. I promised my mother that I would go to my marriage bed a virgin and I fully intend to do just that."

"Well then, I guess that puts an end to us."

"What? Why do you say that?"

"You have already told me that you are not getting married until you finish college and that is almost five years away. I'm not the least bit attached to my virginity and I'm damn sure not waiting for five more years to get rid of it."

"Then I guess we have nothing else to talk about" and she got up and walked away. Okay I thought, if that's how you want it, so be it.

+++++

One month later it was senior prom and I took Nancy Bickford. Dorthea went to the prom with Sammy Vine and while I tried to ignore the two of them every time I looked their way I found Dorthea looking at me. After the prom I asked Nancy which of the many parties she want to go to and she said, "The one at the motel we are going to. You did plan on fucking me tonight I hope."

I was going to argue? Nancy was tickled to death when she found out I was a virgin.

"You're my first," she said, "So we get to do it my way."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that I get to teach you how to do it the way I want."

"As opposed to?"

"Being told what to do."

I got my first blow job (the first of three that night), my first piece of ass (of four) and had my first anal sex (once). But the one thing that Nancy wanted most was to have her pussy eaten. She especially loved it when I ate her after I fucked her. I was a virgin and didn't know any better so when she told me that boys always licked up their cum after making love I believed her and did it.

It was a good thing and a bad thing. A good thing because she told all the other girls that I did it and I got real popular. A bad thing because one of the girls that heard it was Dorthea. Nancy and I dated for about a month and then she started dating a college guy and dropped me.

Nancy was no sooner out of the picture when Sarah asked me to be her date at some family thing and that night Sarah had my face between her thighs. She promptly told everyone that Nancy hadn't lied and a week after that Sammy Vine was bragging that he had copped Dorthea's cherry.

After Sarah there was Betsy, Barb and Cindy and I heard that John, Bill and Mike had nailed Dorthea. It was almost as if she was showing me that she could have one every time I had one.

One day, shortly before graduation, I was sitting in a booth at the malt shop when Dorthea slid onto the seat across from me.

"How you been?"

"Good."

"You never call me anymore."

"Got nothing to say."

"Come on George, don't be that way."

"Don't be saying that to me. You're the one who lied to me and then got up and walked away from me the last time we talked."

"I did not! I never lied to you."

"Oh no? What about "I'm going to my marriage bed a virgin and I'm not getting married until I get out of college?" What about "I will not engage in recreational sex with someone who thinks virginity is a crime?" You telling me those weren't lies? You aren't married, but you damned sure ain't a virgin anymore and you haven't even started college yet, let alone finished it. You telling me that Sammy, John, Bill and Mike can't be considered recreational sex? And I certainly noticed that you had absolutely no trouble giving Sammy what you wouldn't even consider giving me. Like I said Dot, I have no reason to call you because we have nothing to say to each other."

+++++

The summer between the end of high school and the start of college was a busy one for me. I was working two part time jobs trying to pay off my car and put some change in my pocket for when I got to school. I was still managing to get out two or three nights a week. Most of my dates were with girls who wanted to see for themselves if what Nancy, Sarah and a few other girls were saying was true. I didn't see Dorthea at all during that summer, but I heard that she was cutting a pretty wide swath through the boys.

Fall came, I went to college and life got a little harder. I was working a party time job, carrying a full load of sixteen credit hours and playing football. Enough girls from my old high school were attending State that I still had a sex life of sorts. What with the jobs and the course load and football practice, one night a week and one day on the weekend was about the best I could do. It wasn't much, but it was still a lot more than some other guys were getting.

Even though Dorthea was supposed to be attending State I didn't see her around and I didn't hear anything about her or what she was up to. I was curious, but I wasn't about to ask. The last thing I wanted was for someone to tell Dot, "I saw George yesterday and he was asking about you." As it turned out I needn't have worried. Family problems had kept her from starting the fall term.

She did start spring term and I saw her a time or two in passing and then one day I came out of a class and found her in the hall waiting for me.

"Can we talk?"

"About what?"

"About us."

"There hasn't been an us Dot, not since the day you said we had nothing else to talk about and then got up and walked away. And, as I remember it, what we were talking about then was the virginity that you were going to hang onto for the next five years. The same virginity that you gave up to Sammy Vine less than three months later."

"I did it to hurt you George, not because I particularly liked Sammy. It hurt me terribly when you didn't ask me to the prom and it killed me to know that you were with Nancy because I knew what the two of you would be doing before the night was over. It killed me George, because you were supposed to be mine. But I bit my lip and suffered through it because I expected you to do what you were going to do with Nancy to get rid of your cherry and then come back to me.

"Then you took up with her and then went from her to Sarah and I got mad and said "Okay, I'll show him" and I let Sammy have me. After that every time you went to a new girl I went to another guy just to show you and rub your nose in it."

"So what is this all about Dot?"

"Can we just stop throwing stones at each other Georgie? Can't we try and put us back together again?"

I really didn't know what to say to that. I missed her, I still thought about her almost all the time, she was still the best looking girl I had ever been with, but still...., shit, I didn't know.

She waited for me to answer and when I didn't she said, "What? Why can't you answer me Georgie? Is it the sex thing? Is it because Sammy got it and you didn't? Well let me tell you something sweetie, you got the better of the deal. You lost yours to one of the most experienced girls in school and from the rumors floating around you had a very good night. I, on the other hand, and Sammy too for that matter, had a lousy time. I hurt like hell and I beat on his chest so hard trying to get him to stop that he had bruises for a week. Plus I bled all over him and the seat of his father's car and he caught hell for that. And then add to that the fact that I really didn't like it."

"Then why did you keep on doing it?"

"To see if I could piss you off."

"You kept screwing Sammy, John, Bill and Mike even though you didn't like it?"

"No, it was just Sammy I didn't like it with. The others were okay."

"So you do like sex?"

"It was pretty good with Mike. It was okay with John and Bill and some others, but Sammy sucked; it was strictly wham, bam and I'll call you tomorrow."

"So just what is it that you see happening with us?"

"I have an apartment off campus and I want you to move in with me."

"How can you afford that?"

"My grandmother passed away and left me a bunch of money. That's why I didn't start until spring term; I had family business to take care of."

"You want to set up housekeeping with me?"

"Yes, and if you say yes I'm going to do my best to fuck you blind and make up for all the time we've lost."

+++++

She did and she had been doing her absolute best to keep on doing it for the past fourteen years. The woman spoiled me rotten. She pampered me, waited on me hand and foot, my wish was her command and all that kind of thing. Our sex life was incredible. Even after living together for four years and then being married for fourteen we still made love five and six times a week. Having four kids in the house hasn't slowed us down either. Life had been perfect, and now this.

I couldn't face Dot when I got home. One look at my face and she would have known something was wrong. To forestall things I told her that something bad had happened at work and that I had brought some work home with me and that I had to get it done before the next day. Then I went into the den, closed the door, sat down at the desk and stared at the wall.

After an hour or two of trying to make sense of what the doctor had told me and feeling sorry for myself I finally snapped out of it. I wasn't a quitter, never had been and wasn't going to start being one. I got out the Yellow Pages and began looking for doctors. I made a list of a half dozen or so and tossed it in my briefcase. I would get second, third, fourth and maybe even a dozen opinions. No way I was going to settle for just one.

The list made and my mind made up as to a course of action I left the den and went looking for Dot. If the doctor was right I might not have too many more opportunities. She was in the kitchen doing dishes and I grabbed her hand and said, "Woman, I have needs" and I drug her along behind me to the bedroom where I let her reduce me to ruin.

Two weeks later the jury was in. Five different doctors told me the exact same thing. There was no denying it anymore. No way I could hide from it, no way to avoid it. The only thing left to do was face up to it and sit down with Dorthea and tell her. That was going to be the hardest part of the whole thing. We had been so good together. We fit like a hand in a glove; everyone said that we were the perfect couple and they all said they wished they could be like us.

+++++

I took a day off work so I could sit down and talk with Dot while the kids were in school. It was one conversation that I did not want interrupted. It was going to be hard enough as it was without having to stop when Alice came in the room with a, "Mommy, Josh hit me." Or maybe it would be Mary coming in, "Mommy, will you help me dress my dolly?" or Kevin wanting me to show him how to re-lace his first baseman's mitt.

I couldn't find the words. I sat there looking at the woman who had made my life sing, but I just couldn't make myself talk.

"What is it Georgie? What is this all about? Come on George, what is so important that you had to stay home just to talk to me?"

It was hard, but I finally took a deep breath, "Two weeks ago the doctor gave me some very bad news. I didn't accept it so I went to a different doctor and got a second opinion. I didn't believe him either, but after having the tests run by three more doctors I have to face up to the facts. I can't keep myself in denial and hope it will go away because it won't. It is there, it is malignant, and it is eating away at me."

"Oh my God George, what is it, cancer?"

Of sorts Dorthea. What I have is worse than cancer. Cancer eats away at your body. What I have is infinitely worse because what I have is eating away at my soul. What I have is an unfaithful wife. When I had my yearly physical they found a spot on my prostate. They ran a whole bunch of tests on me and when they came back the doctor, who was familiar with my sports background, said that it must have been hard not to have had a son to follow in my footsteps. I asked him what he meant by that and he told me I was sterile.

"I didn't believe it Dot. How could I be sterile with four kids in the house? So I checked it out with four other doctors and they all told me the same thing. In addition I took the kids in for flu shots and had DNA tests done at the same time. According to the DNA tests Dot, the kids have four different fathers and not one of them me."

"Care to comment Dorthea?"

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