Escaping the Darkness

It was at the very least interesting to consider. Always before the question had been what do we do given the circumstances we have. But what would it be like if we didn't have to worry about any of that? What exactly was my idea of the perfect relationship with my sister?

Part of the question was easy. I wanted us to be able to stay as close as we were now, if not closer, and not let anything come between us. I wanted to be able to hold her even if other people were watching and generally be able to show the affection I felt for her.

Then, there was the issue of sex, I wasn't entirely sure about that one. It would definitely depend on how Amy felt and it was something that could continue to be hidden if necessary. In some ways it wasn't even a major barrier.

The main problem was that we couldn't be both siblings and openly together. Some people might accept it but far too many wouldn't. There was the option I had toyed with of leaving for somewhere nobody knew us and trying to leave our heritage behind. It had seemed like an extreme measure, a last resort, and it would mean abandoning an important facet of our lives. We'd have to trade being siblings for being together and I didn't really want that.

Amy and me were more than just a brother and sister, perhaps irreversibly, but our sibling connection was still a huge part of who we were. I didn't want to lose it.

I snorted humourlessly to myself, I was back to the whole damned if I do, damned if I don't that I was far too familiar with. Even if I was going in circles I at least knew what I had to do next. It was time to talk to Amy again, even if there was the chance that I would only make things worse.

****

I managed to adjust my work schedule to have Saturday off and hoped that Amy wouldn't have other plans already. It probably would have made sense to just tell her I wanted to talk, or even start the conversation one of the nights while we sat together in the living room. It didn't feel right to do it that way though. It seemed better somehow to talk to her in the daytime without our routine overshadowing us.

We both tended to sleep in when given the chance, due in large part to how late we stayed up on a regular basis. When I did finally drag myself out of bed I didn't initially see Amy. It was only by sheer luck that I caught her heading out the door before she left.

"Hey," I said.

"Oh, hey. What's up?" Amy said.

"Nothing much. Where you going?"

"Just out for a walk."

I felt relieved that she wasn't going any farther than that. Plus it might give me a better opportunity than I thought I would get.

"Mind if I come along?" I asked.

"If you want."

I was getting a confused look from her, unsurprising given my usual apathy toward the concept of walking for its own sake. I understood that some people enjoyed it or did it for the exercise, it just wasn't what I would choose to satisfy either of those goals.

"Great. Hang on a second okay," I said.

"Sure."

Mostly I just had to grab my sneakers, but I also spent a moment taking a couple deep breaths. I wasn't nervous exactly, just aware of the importance of what I needed to do. Soon I was back and ready to go.

Neither of us said anything at first, we just started walking. I followed a couple steps behind before catching up and maintaining position beside my sister. Finally she looked at me curiously.

"So what's this about?" she asked. "I assume you want to talk to me about something."

"Can't I spend time with you just because I want to?" I didn't expect that explanation to fly even before Amy rolled her eyes at me. "Alright, alright. Yes I wanted to talk to you."

"I'm listening."

"I've spent a lot of time thinking the past few days. About you, about us more to the point." I saw her nod in acknowledgement as though she had done the same. "I guess I want to ask, what do you want? Ignoring everything else I mean, all the problems we have and trying to protect each other. If you could have any life you wanted, what would you choose?"

"I don't know," she said with a shrug.

I had expected a little more from her than that, something to work with. I probably hadn't explained myself very well.

"Okay, well I'll try to explain what I'm thinking then," I said. "You're basically the most important person in my life right now. By a lot. When I get home at night after work and you're there waiting for me, that's something I look forward to. And I think that means something."

"It means we got ourselves into a bad situation," Amy said.

"No! Well yes, actually we did I suppose. But it's not a no-win scenario. What if we just do what we want and accept the consequences? I think... I know I want to be with you. For real. But I need to know if you want that too."

Amy didn't say anything immediately and I was content to walk in silence for a while, letting her think it over. I was familiar with the area we were in of course, but I had no idea where we were going or even if she had a planned route in mind. We might just have been wandering at that point.

"People would find out eventually," I said after a long enough pause. "Most of them probably wouldn't like it, but if we had to we could always leave. It would mean losing contact with friends and...."

I cut myself off before mentioning mom and dad. They would be the hardest to deal with, and had the potential to take our relationship worse than anyone else. Not to mention how much I disliked the idea of Amy and me having to pretend we weren't brother and sister. It might be necessary at some point, but it would never be something I would enjoy.

"Screw them," Amy said out of nowhere.

"What?"

"Anyone who doesn't like what we do, they aren't people I want to be friends with anyway. Anyone who cares about us would learn to deal with it."

"So does that mean you've decided?"

"It means you made me realize that I've been worrying about other people. It's like speaking in front of an audience, doesn't matter what they think because being afraid of their reaction is always worse than the reaction itself."

Amy grabbed my arm and brought us both to a stop. A lone car drove by as we stared at each other for several long seconds.

Before either of us could say anything I pulled her to me and wrapped my arms around her. Almost instantly she returned my hug and pressed herself tightly against my body.

"It has to be for real though," she whispered into my ear. "We can't hide all the time or we'll be back where we started. You have to take me out places and hold my hand and everything."

"I can do that."

"And you have to kiss me."

Only when she pulled away and looked at me expectantly did I understand she meant right now. I smiled and moved in to kiss her, pulling her back to me as our lips met. We had kissed before but this was an entirely different experience, it had so much more meaning for both of us.

"That's it?" I asked.

"That's it," Amy confirmed. "I'm all yours."

"I like the sound of that. But what to do with you?"

I frowned in concentration as though I had to put some thought into the question.

"How 'bout you take me home and do some very naughty things to me."

"So quickly huh?" I said, unable to keep a grin off my face. "Hell of a first date."

"Don't think you're getting off easy," she warned. "You're gonna have to take me places still. Soon too, no putting it off and no blaming your schedule. I'm thinking a nice restaurant where we have to dress up and everything."

"Somewhere expensive you mean."

"Well, if you don't think I'm worth it...."

I kissed her again then looked at her seriously.

"You're definitely worth it," I said.

"Good, then let's go."

Amy took my hand and I let her drag me along for a few steps before catching up with her. Apparently public displays of affection weren't going to be a problem for her, and I wasn't having any of the hesitation so far that I'd expected. It felt surprisingly natural to show my love for my sister even when other people could see. Granted it wasn't like we were anywhere yet where people were likely to know us. We could work up to it.

The return home didn't take nearly as long as our slow, meandering path had initially and soon we were back. We snuck upstairs repressing nervous giggles, trying not to attract any attention from our parents since we weren't ready for that yet. Hopefully the issue wouldn't be forced for a while.

Amy's room was at the far end of the hall, probably the most private room in the house when it came down to it, and that was where we ended up without even discussing it. I barely had a chance to close and lock the door before she was tugging at me again, pulling me on top of her as she fell backward onto her bed. We kissed passionately as we groped at each other, letting our hands roam freely.

It didn't take long for Amy to start lifting my shirt and I did my best to help her. It was a fairly awkward process since I was partly supporting myself on my arms, but together we managed to get it over my head and out of the way. She then pulled me closer to her and lovingly nuzzled my shoulder.

"Probably should have undressed first," she said. "I don't want to let go now."

"Then don't."

Hampered by my sister clinging to me I still managed to get her shirt pulled up over her breasts, about as far as it would go with disentangling her. Her bra would come off easily enough if I just lifted her off the mattress a little, but I left it for the moment.

I made Amy lie back while I kissed the area just below her neck down to the tops of her breasts. Her bra got in the way before too long so I settled for sucking on her nipple through the material. Once I made a nice damp spot on the bra cup I moved to the other one and repeated the process. Her hands were on my back and tangling in my hair the whole time, not once letting go of me.

"Lift up your butt," I said.

Amy did as I asked and, switching back and forth between hands, I slowly worked her pants down far enough that she could kick them off. Almost before we finished with her pants she started on mine, which meant that she couldn't hold me down at the same time. Even though I could have pulled away any time I wanted, I took the opportunity she gave me to stand up briefly. She pouted at me and tried to hold on to my pants where she'd only been able to get them down past my hips.

"Just hold on a second, I'm not going anywhere," I said.

I finished stripping down to my underwear, not quite ready to get completely naked yet, while Amy removed her shirt. With that finished I took a moment to fully take in the sight of my sister in front of me. She still had her underwear on too, but it was far more revealing than anything I'd seen her in despite our unorthodox relationship. She squirmed impatiently as she waited for me to lie back down with her.

"What, are you going to just stare all day?" she demanded.

"No, not all day. Although that wouldn't be such a bad option either."

"Whatever. You can look all you want later, I want more than that right now."

She held her arms out to me, beckoning me back to her and I had no inclination to resist. Instead of resuming my previous position I lay down beside my sister and guided her on top of me. I felt more comfortable that way since it meant I wasn't focusing so much on keeping my weight off of her. She didn't have any such reservations about me and took very little time in molding her body to mine, attempting to bring us in to contact as much as possible.

Our legs tangled together and her breasts pressed against my chest as Amy adjusted herself. The feeling of so much of her bare skin moving over mine, as well as the knowledge of what we were about to do, was enough to get me fully erect. Her face was only inches away from mine and I could see her expression clearly as she discovered just how hard I was. Slowly her expression of shock faded into a wide grin and she started grinding on my crotch.

"It's so weird to feel it against my pussy," she whispered. "Kinda weird to be able to feel you like this at all, actually."

"I know what you mean. It's good though," I said.

"Mm-hm."

I reached around behind Amy to unclip her bra, which stayed mostly in place where she was lying on me. I then moved my hand to her butt and started sliding her panties down over her hips. Apparently having the same idea my sister simultaneously fumbled with my underwear and released my cock from where it had been trapped.

Amy didn't let up for long and continued rocking on my cock, sliding her pussy across the shaft without actually allowing penetration. She was definitely wet judging by the slickness I felt.

All of a sudden Amy pushed herself up on her arms, throwing her bra aside almost as an afterthought. I got my first view of her naked breasts then, so round and beautiful. I just stared at first until she started to blush, then I lifted my hands up to cup them tenderly in my palms. She let me play for a minute before saying anything.

"So, you ready to do this?" she asked.

"Yeah, pretty sure."

"But not certain?" She raised an eyebrow at me.

"I am certain, this is what I want. What we both want. There's still those little doubts though, you know? And maybe they won't ever go away, but they don't mean anything because this was the right decision."

"I know what you mean, I'm a little nervous about it too. It changes a lot, but in a good way. So we should do it now before anything has a chance to screw it up."

I could see it now in her eyes, the same emotions that were going through me. There was some fear there, but mostly it was love and a desire to be close to me in a way we hadn't been before.

We moved in unspoken agreement. Amy climbed off me to reposition herself more in a more traditional pose along the length of the bed with her head resting on her pillow. At the same time I finished removing my underwear, then helped Amy with hers.

I noticed that she tensed up a bit as I guided my cock between her legs. I didn't pay all that much attention since I assumed it was just a reaction to it being our first time together. It would pass. She nodded at me as I looked at her, assuring me that she was ready.

I started slowly to make sure I didn't hurt her even though the wetness I'd felt before had, if anything, increased. She was tight, tighter than I expected, but she should still be fine as long as I didn't push too hard too fast.

For some reason, despite everything appearing to be going well, I couldn't help getting the sensation that something was off. Something was wrong. It didn't make sense to me until I looked back to Amy's face and saw her expression of masked pain.

"Amy," I said.

"It's alright, just keep going."

She turned her head away from me and I immediately reached out to turn her face back toward me, forcing her to meet my gaze. It was all there in her eyes, in the slight grimace of discomfort on her lips.

"Amy," I repeated. "When were you going to tell me?"

It wasn't just her first time with me, it was her first time with anyone. In the initial rush of thought I couldn't understand why she hadn't said anything.

"Didn't know if I should," she whispered. "Not until after anyway. You'd make a big deal about it."

"I... well isn't it kind of a big deal?"

"It is to a lot of girls," she agreed. "And it is to me too. Do you know how many of them get to have their first time with someone they'll always love? Someone they aren't going to just break up with two weeks later? I'm glad it's you and I'm glad that we didn't plan this or anything. It just happened, like it should."

Amy raised her hand to my cheek and held it there for a moment.

"I knew it wouldn't be you, how could it ever be?" she continued. "But a part of me kept hoping. I thought those nights when I'd get you off were as far as we'd go, that even that was pushing my luck farther than it would hold. It was the only way to be close to you, it was the closest I could get."

"I'm sorry. I should have talked to you more, or something. I didn't mean to make you... but I guess it worked out in some ways."

"It worked out fine, everything's going to be better now." She took a deep breath and looked me straight in the eyes. "So are you going to fuck me or what?"

I smiled at the return of my sister's confident side, the part of her I was more familiar with. It had certainly taken more than a little courage for her to jerk me off those first few times, back before it became routine for us. I had never realized just how much it meant to her.

"Is it okay?" I asked.

"I'm fine, it doesn't hurt very much now. I think it'll get better if you just go gently."

I had even less intention of being rough with her than I had before, regardless of her request. Only barely moving at first, I resumed pushing into sister's pussy. I watched her face carefully but she seemed to have been telling the truth about the pain, and her features gradually showed signs of pleasure instead.

"You can go a little harder now," she said eventually.

I was still cautious but did speed up slightly like Amy wanted. She seemed to be relaxing somewhat which was probably a good sign. I just couldn't get over my sister still being a virgin, until a few minutes ago anyway. It seemed like something I should have known even though there really was no way I could have. I'd have to try harder in the future to make sure I found out anything important that I should know and not wait for it to be dropped on me all of a sudden.

Amy, perhaps noticing that I had become distracted by my thoughts, wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me down to where she could kiss me. It was a good reminder that I should be focusing on what was important. Right now the only thing that mattered was that we were together, everything else would keep until later.

I lowered my head to kiss her neck and she gave me a soft moan in return. She was responding better to my movements in general, making me think that she might be over the initial pain I had accidentally caused. She was even lifting her butt up slightly in time with my thrusts to try and get me as deep inside her as possible.

"Is it getting better?" I asked, just to confirm.

"Yeah, it's good now. Really good. I kinda wish we'd done this sooner."

"We weren't ready for it then."

"I know, I'm just saying."

Reassured that everything was fine I let go of some of my few remaining inhibitions and fucked my sister with less rigid self-control. It was such an amazing experience when I allowed it to be. Her pussy could have been designed for me the way it conformed perfectly to my cock when I was fully in her. Probably it was my imagination but it almost seemed to put up more resistance as I pulled out than it did going in, as though wanting to keep me inside. I wanted it to last forever, or for a longer time than I knew it would anyway.

With a faint look of surprise Amy came underneath me, throwing her head back and clutching tightly to me. She remembered to be quiet, or maybe that was just normal for her, which was good since I didn't think either of us really wanted to attract any attention at that point. As I watched her shaking in ecstasy beneath me it made me realize my own orgasm wasn't that far off either.

"Wow," Amy said breathlessly. "I think that's the first time anyone else ever got me off. I didn't know if it would actually happen."

"I think I still owe you a few, not that I'm keeping score," I said.

"Can't wait."

Talking was getting harder for me as I got closer and closer. Amy fortunately didn't try any more conversation and just lay back to let me finish at my own pace, no longer trying to hold me or kiss me like she had been before. It gave me a little more freedom of movement I suppose, but I kind of liked feeling her cling desperately to me.