Examinations Pt. 01

"Oh, Kate, It's perfect! When it shrinks it's going to be really pretty. How did you get it so slender; it's almost like I have a cock on the end of my leg!"

"Well, I'm glad you like it, Shelly. I actually thought that's what you wanted, so I removed almost all of the remnants of muscularity. What you are seeing is just what's left of the skin with a layer of fascia underneath for padding for the bone. It will be a very attractive stump for you to show it off plus, it will be a stable platform for a prosthetic. I know you don't want to go there, but you may change your mind. The options are pretty wide, so don't decide just yet."

A week went by, with me caught up in an extremely busy practice, and Shelly, who made one trip out to her home with one of my nurses to get some clothes and to catch up on e-mails and such. The nurse came back babbling about mansions and acreage and stuff, but I didn't have a lot of time to chat about it with Shelly.

"What's your favorite way to be?" she asked on the next Saturday...

"Well, at home, I usually hop, as you've seen; I love the feeling I get from my stump moving around. I have my Otto for use at work and when I have a lot of walking to do, but when I want to feel like a cripple, and I know you know what I mean..."

"Oh spill it girlfriend!" Shelly almost shouted.

"Let me show you, OK?"

"Please hurry!"

When I'd made my way to my bedroom, I sat on the bed and took some time to think about what was happening here in my home, my clinic. Not only had I exposed myself as a voluntary amputee to a complete stranger, I had violated several ethics practices by amputating her foot quite a bit higher than it actually needed to be done. She would have been fine, actually better, with a Symes amputation, and yet I gave her a mid-calf... And she knew it! If she told anyone who actually cared, I would be absolutely ruined. And yet, I had done all these things. I felt a connection to this young woman, a woman probably ten years my junior. And yet the fog of desperation which had caused her to mutilate her own body was gone, and she was, by all appearances, a bright, normal, beautiful woman. For some reason, I felt that my decisions were justified. When I'd thrown that switch in my mind, I felt the stress and worry drain away, and I was just me, an amputee by choice, a surgeon who assisted others to achieve the body image they felt they deserved, and in the final analysis, a pretty lonely lesbian amputee devotee. I changed the tip of my limb and my outfit.

When I walked through the door into the living room a few minutes later, Shelly's eyes flew open and her jaw dropped.

"Oh my God, Kate! That is fabulous! What is it made of? It's so beautiful!" She was staring at the glossy, grey-black peg projecting from my mid-thigh leather skirt.

"It's the same carbon-fiber socket I always wear, Shelly. I have a number of different legs, including pegs, which screw into it, so I can wear it with different length heels. I just like the simplicity of a peg. You don't have to think about it when you walk. It's not going to collapse or bend at the wrong time, and it's nice to wear to go hiking in the woods. I have a big disc to wear with it on the beach so I don't sink into the sand, and a different one for snow. How are you feeling, by the way? It seems like we're talking a lot about me and not much about you."

"I'm getting a touch of cabin fever, actually. I feel great, though. Possibly as good as I've felt in years. You removed an obsession from my psyche a couple of weeks ago."

"I know how that feels, Shell, trust me."

"How long have you been amputated now Kate?"

"Why don't we go shopping, and I'll tell you all about it. Does that sound good?"

"I'm good, but I don't know how far I can crutch. I've only practiced around my house."

"No crutches for you just yet. I have an adorable lavender Quickie GT I'll loan you for a while, though, if that's cool."

"That's better than cool, it's awesome!"

Shelly chose to wear, not surprisingly, a knee length forest broomstick skirt and a peasant-style blouse that pretty much screamed, "Look at my tits!", although to be fair, pretty much anything she wore would have said that. I stuck with a mid-thigh black leather mini, with a white angora turtle neck sweater and a light leather vest. I went without a bra so Shell could watch my D's prance with my stump, and shell wore a complex looking Frederick's bustier under her blouse. We were, as my Grandma used to say, "Quite the pair to draw to".

We unloaded at the handicapped lot just south of the really nice part of town. I wore my Carbon Fiber peg, and Shelly wore a strappy sandal and black hose, the one on her new stump pulled inside-out at the tip to show off the curve of her stump. I loaned her a pair of leather fingerless bike gloves to protect her newbie-soft hands, and she had the wheelchair down in just a few minutes of practice.

It was interesting to watch the eyes bounce back and forth between her boobs and her stump, which was crossed over her other leg. We found lots to look at, and around lunch time we went to a little hamburger joint just off the main street and occupied a table outside on the sidewalk. Partway through the meal, Shelly touched the back of my hand with hers.

"Kate, I'd like to talk about what happens next with my stump and with me if that's OK?"

"Sure Shelly, ask questions and I'll try to fill you in."

"As I mentioned early on, my original intent was to go without a prosthetic, but after seeing you with your beautiful carbon socket and, shall we say, 'attachments', I may change my mind. Is it too late for that decision?"

"Not at all, Shelly. I made your stump by balancing what you indicated that you wanted it to look like with the best way to support a prosthetic limb. Since the musculature is greatly reduced in mass, the swelling will take less time to go away, and you're already wearing a compression sock most of the time, which will help. If you'd like, and I think it's a good idea, by the way, later today we can go by my prosthetist and I'll introduce you to her. She is one of 'us' so she's open to interesting, innovative things that appeal to the devotee as well as the bare bones user."

"I think that would be exciting. Let's plan on that. Now, as far as my treatment at your clinic is concerned, I feel like I'm ready to check out and get back to my own home. Are you OK with that?"

I nodded, fighting the slightly ill feeling in my belly.

"The problem is, that ends one problem and creates another."

"How so?" I asked.

"Well, it relieves you of your duties as my Doctor in the first place, but I have to tell you that I have been dreading moving back home. I've grown so fond of you that I don't really want to think of not seeing you every night, Kate. I had to tell you that, in spite of the fact that I don't know where you stand on having a relationship with another woman." She looked up at me when she'd finished speaking, and her eyes shone with moisture.

"I'm totally opposed to having a relationship with another woman, Shelly."

I heard her intake of breath, and continued quickly.

"But I'd give anything to have a relationship with you." I leaned into her and did what I'd wanted to do since I'd seen her sitting on an exam table nearly a month ago.

I kissed her.